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Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
My regular customer spends huge bucks---like, $500-700 on a weekday, and then thousands on weekends, all on me. In return, he lives in a hardcore fantasy inwhich I am his legit girlfriend...I don't have a problem with being his "girlfriend" for the night; that's cool. For the right price tag, I'll spend all night latched to his arm.
Problem is, he's getting a little bit too clingy for comfort. I have to stop myself from gagging every time he calls me his "baby," or tells me about how he's been bragging to his family about his wonderful girlfriend, BUT I can deal with it. Plus, he just LOOKS absolutely repulsive, but hey, it's not his fault, and it means I have no desire to be with him, sexually or emotionally. Yay!
NOW he's pushing reeeeaaallly hard for my phone number, (which I will not even CONSIDER giving out) has insisted on giving me HIS number, and is growing increasingly aggressive. He's wanting to be a sugar daddy bad....begging to take me out on my days off and whatnot, but I won't do it for safety reasons. I'm strictly a dancer WITHIN the walls of the club. So, I'm concerned he'll be angry when I come to work after not calling him, or will start stalking me after hours.
He's gotten very possessive; last night, he interrogated me after he saw me talking to the BOUNCER, as if he thought I was complaining about him. He pays good money to have me entertain him all night, and I have no problem with that, as long as that's where it ends. He's obviously interested in more than just being a sugar daddy; he wants to be my boyfriend...despite being twice my age. So my main issues are these:
A. It's reeeeeaaallly hard to walk away from that much money.
B. He makes me feel queesy and uncomfortable when I'm with him, even if he hasn't tried anything TOO serious.
C. (and most importantly) I'm scared of trying to break it off with him; people who delve that far into fantasy can't just be ripped back out of it seriously.
So....what do I do? Do I continue to look at him as just a wallet but do it safely? Or do I just break it off now?
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Ouch. Don't you hate that? Why can't they just accept it for what it is... we do NOT want to date you creep-os.
Thats a LOT of money, girl. I would stick it out as much as you can. Honestly though, if I felt super uncomfortable and it was almost unbearable, I would confidently walk away from the money, but it seems like you can still handle it. Maybe you should be very clear with him next time he tries to get your number. Stand your ground, you have to be firm, but stay classy and feminine (in hopes he'll keep spending)
Or do what some girls do, and get a google voice phone number so you can still call/text without him having your number. The only problem with that is once you give him that, he will keep wanting more and more...
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
It is very hard to walk away from that type of money. I have a few clients that will fly me in. Hard to turn down $$,$$$ for 2 day stays!
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
See, that's the thing....he hasn't done anything TOO bad that would naturally initiate me cutting him off, but I think he knows that. I feel like he's using the money/intimidation as a stranglehold...in other words, he KNOWS if he keeps paying, he can keep pushing me further and further. So how do I maintain control, preferrably without walking away from the money? Now, if he goes to far, I'll walk. If he follows me home, grabs me with too much force, busts out humiliation tactics or hurts me emotionally/physically, I will RUN as far away from him as humanly possible.
But, seriously...that's a LOT of money. And if he doesn't give it to me, he'll give it to someone else. So I kinda want to drain him for all I can and then move along.
I also feel like this is out of my hands....if he's so wrapped up in this fantasy, it's too late to break it to him kindly and safely. Even if I just tried to stay away from him because he's icky, that would make my work environment sooo awkward and miserable, and I'm not leaving the club that I'm very happy with over this loser. So, here's what I'm thinking:
Stick around with him, grin and bear it and play aloof/unresponsive when he gets too affectionate. If/when he seriously crosses the line, it's officially out of my hands and has to be dealt with by management. There. He's banned from the club, and/or told to stay the fuck away from me, and now I can continue to work (hopefully) with minimal harrassment. Of course it might not play out that way, but I'm thinking that's the best way to go if I want to enjoy the money while it lasts.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
He will give it to someone else. Been at this long enough to know that I have been the someone else too. I escort also so my situation is different.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
see, I had one almost identical to this, but I actually started hanging out with him outside the club, going to dinner, clubs, etc. Never touched the guy though, he actually never even tried to make a move on me. I know that nauseous creeped out rapist feeling though, and all the money in the world is not worth it to me, not to mention the fact that he is going to get really psycho and possessive if he's already acting like this now.
Every customer has an expiration date, if I was you I would stick it out a little bit longer, but I would definitely walk away.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
I really fucking HATE these assholes! It's like, look in the mirror dumbass! Do you really see yourself anywhere close to my standard? Do you seriously think I would date you? Are you blind? To me, guys like this have a huge ego and are full of themselves, this dude needs to get taken down a few notches. Even if he seems shy, sweet, low self esteem, I call bullshit, they secretly have a huge ego. Fact is, they are still in a strip club alone blowing thousands of dollars on a regular basis, so that means he's a huge creep!
Don't let him intimidate you or push your boundaries! (even emotionally) Always just say to yourself, who does he think he is? Brad Pitt? He's a fucking creep in a strip club! You don't him a damn thing, he needs to get a serious reality check.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
By the way, it got so out of control with my customer, I couldn't even go on a date in this city! I was always looking over my shoulder waiting for him to pop out somewhere. Cutting him off was the best thing I did!
I realized that in a passive aggressive way he was manipulating me just as bad as I was him. It took me a long time to realize this, and the whole time I was the one feeling guilty for my actions, playing him, etc. FUCK THAT! He would reel me back in with money every time.... he knew had that control over me. My happiness level is a million times higher without him and that creepy icky feeling, I get the willies just thinking about him! So glad he's gone, he can keep all his money! I feel free now....
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
I'm so happy you got away from him! And it does make me realize I can't let him have that control over my emotions. I need to leave him at the club; my at-home time is for ME and I can't sit here and worry about this asshole. Intimidation is his strongest weapon.
Not to build a mountain out of a mole hill, but in more severe cases...perhaps with more easily manipulated newbies....this is how girls wind up with pimps. They're brainwashed into believing they'll NEVER see serious money again, unless they stick around with that guy. And when personal information gets leaked, it's hard to draw lines and create boundaries. So, I'm really glad I started questioning him before I did something really stupid.
But anyway, you sound soooo much like me....I totally want to take him down and just destroy his ego. He keeps asking me questions, like "do you like me best? will you only dance for me? do you let other men touch your hair? what kind of men do you like?" and I want to just rip his self esteem in half. It's a horrible thought, because outside of work I am NOT this egotistical, but he tries so hard to get me to just rave about how wonderful he is. And yet, that's what makes me afraid of him. I know if I ever told him the truth, that I've just been using him purely for his money and have no interest in him whatsoever, his reaction would not be pretty. That's kinda why I want him to realize it for himself and give up, OR give the bouncers a reason to remove him. Plus, if he ever does try to hurt me, I kinda want the satisfaction of smashing his balls with my shoe.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Ps., he is SUPER intimate, and I HATE that from customers. I have no problem showing off my body and dancing allows me to enjoy my own sexuality, but I'm not willing to share my personal life with people. He always try to hold my hand, stare into my eyes and kiss my neck/face and it makes me want to backhand him. Why can't he just make it easy and stare at my tits???? lol
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
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Originally Posted by
Farrah_Golden
I'm so happy you got away from him! And it does make me realize I can't let him have that control over my emotions. I need to leave him at the club; my at-home time is for ME and I can't sit here and worry about this asshole. Intimidation is his strongest weapon.
Not to build a mountain out of a mole hill, but in more severe cases...perhaps with more easily manipulated newbies....this is how girls wind up with pimps. They're brainwashed into believing they'll NEVER see serious money again, unless they stick around with that guy. And when personal information gets leaked, it's hard to draw lines and create boundaries. So, I'm really glad I started questioning him before I did something really stupid.
But anyway, you sound soooo much like me....I totally want to take him down and just destroy his ego. He keeps asking me questions, like "do you like me best? will you only dance for me? do you let other men touch your hair? what kind of men do you like?" and I want to just rip his self esteem in half. It's a horrible thought, because outside of work I am NOT this egotistical, but he tries so hard to get me to just rave about how wonderful he is. And yet, that's what makes me afraid of him. I know if I ever told him the truth, that I've just been using him purely for his money and have no interest in him whatsoever, his reaction would not be pretty. That's kinda why I want him to realize it for himself and give up, OR give the bouncers a reason to remove him. Plus, if he ever does try to hurt me, I kinda want the satisfaction of smashing his balls with my shoe.
When you realize you've had enough and you are about to call it quits... DO IT!!! Go down in flames! I promise you will be glad you did, you will feel so powerful and satisfied putting that creep in his place! He's a narcissist!
This is what I did at the end, I let it all out.... I was like, "I used you the whole time, it was all an act, I just wanted your money. You disgust me, you are a creepy strip club regular. The only way you could ever have a halfway decent looking girl on your arm is by paying her. You are unattractive, old, and have no redeeming qualities besides your money and willingness to give it freely. Sorry, have a nice life :)"
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Wow this is a tough one. Gag reflexes are there for a reason and apparently yours are working. Money sound great so I know that has to be a hard decision.
I would drag it out as long as you can. That possessive thing is just annoying. Always seems like things are great and then poof you hear their pangs of jealousy. Right there when he got all creepy with that bouncer moment I would have given him a small tap into reality. Nothing mean but just enough to say "lighten up".
Now when he started this. Did he say ok I want you to be my girlfriend in my fantasy from the first day?If so then this was probably what he wanted all along, but maybe didn't want to get blown off right away.
Don't be surprised if he starts getting nasty, taking other dancers to vip to "teach you a lesson"..Uggg my stomach is just off right now thinking of how ugly and repulsive this guy is.
Save up every dime this man gives you. For these guys remind me of most sales and specials... " For a limited time only".
I would pull a sad sad girl move. Not bratty but just aww please don't do that. We're having so much fun HERE. "aww let's not ruin our fun", you're the best in club bf ever!". Something to that effect. Ugg I know sounds lame but just keep mentioning here, club etc.
If you go to the forums areas and read "strip club junkie" you get a world of info on how some guys that go to the sc have a plan in place. They spend some money in the club and later get pushy. When that doesn't hit the sheets in a certain time frame, they drop dancers like hot potatoes and get vindictive by going to another dancer in the same club to get what they were after. So not only are they pulling their money but they create some catty environment for you to work in, almost making some ladies quit. Or in another way they get you dependent on the income to where you are looking forward to their arrival. When the money stops abruptly after they pull it from under you, they try and force you into a P4P situation. Either do it all or tell him to go f*** himself. When it generally comes to the super ugly types, they are trying to do some mind f*** on you. A basic " how low will you go for this".
In many ways, it's no different then a boss hitting on you at an office job and then getting nasty when you don't comply, ultimately firing you because his ego can't handle the rejection and seeing your face is a horrible reminder. So you have to starve because of his penis? Seriously lame! Also be careful of what you say to him, he may throw it in your face later or throw it in the face of another dancer.
I say keep the bouncer friend well informed on what's going on just in case this guy gets too stupid.
Remember this guy didn't just get ugly, he's been ugly for some time already. He's probably used this method before. I'm really starting to see that why people look the way they do. It's the real version of "KANE".
I'm still leery about my own advice because you just never know how he'll respond and I don't want to create any issues for you. I hope things work out for the best whatever you decide to do.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
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Originally Posted by
cherryblossomsinspring
Wow this is a tough one. Gag reflexes are there for a reason and apparently yours are working. Money sound great so I know that has to be a hard decision.
I would drag it out as long as you can. That possessive thing is just annoying. Always seems like things are great and then poof you hear their pangs of jealousy. Right there when he got all creepy with that bouncer moment I would have given him a small tap into reality. Nothing mean but just enough to say "lighten up".
Now when he started this. Did he say ok I want you to be my girlfriend in my fantasy from the first day?If so then this was probably what he wanted all along, but maybe didn't want to get blown off right away.
Don't be surprised if he starts getting nasty, taking other dancers to vip to "teach you a lesson"..Uggg my stomach is just off right now thinking of how ugly and repulsive this guy is.
Save up every dime this man gives you. For these guys remind me of most sales and specials... " For a limited time only".
I would pull a sad sad girl move. Not bratty but just aww please don't do that. We're having so much fun HERE. "aww let's not ruin our fun", you're the best in club bf ever!". Something to that effect. Ugg I know sounds lame but just keep mentioning here, club etc.
If you go to the forums areas and read "strip club junkie" you get a world of info on how some guys that go to the sc have a plan in place. They spend some money in the club and later get pushy. When that doesn't hit the sheets in a certain time frame, they drop dancers like hot potatoes and get vindictive by going to another dancer in the same club to get what they were after. So not only are they pulling their money but they create some catty environment for you to work in, almost making some ladies quit. Or in another way they get you dependent on the income to where you are looking forward to their arrival. When the money stops abruptly after they pull it from under you, they try and force you into a P4P situation. Either do it all or tell him to go f*** himself. When it generally comes to the super ugly types, they are trying to do some mind f*** on you. A basic " how low will you go for this".
In many ways, it's no different then a boss hitting on you at an office job and then getting nasty when you don't comply, ultimately firing you because his ego can't handle the rejection and seeing your face is a horrible reminder. So you have to starve because of his penis? Seriously lame! Also be careful of what you say to him, he may throw it in your face later or throw it in the face of another dancer.
I say keep the bouncer friend well informed on what's going on just in case this guy gets too stupid.
Remember this guy didn't just get ugly, he's been ugly for some time already. He's probably used this method before. I'm really starting to see that why people look the way they do. It's the real version of "KANE".
I'm still leery about my own advice because you just never know how he'll respond and I don't want to create any issues for you. I hope things work out for the best whatever you decide to do.
You hit the nail on the head!!! Or, in my case, I became dependent financially on this customer, and I fucking hated him, so I didn't look forward to his arrival. I felt trapped, like I had to sit there feeling nauseous, raped and violated, (even though he wasn't touching me) because I needed the money. NOT WORTH IT!!!!
The icing on the cake was when he started stalking me on facebook (at the time I didn't have it private, I had just created it), and hacked into my email! Then had the nerve to start interrogating me on some of the people I had been emailing. Then, I was out on a date with a guy, and one of his strip club buddies recognized me, and called him and told him. He was pissed, I didn't make much money that month. Fuck that mind fuck, unless he's giving you hundreds of thousands, it's not worth your energy, like it will suck the life out of you and you will be consumed by disgust and contempt.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
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Originally Posted by
cherryblossomsinspring
Save up every dime this man gives you. For these guys remind me of most sales and specials... " For a limited time only".
I'm glad you brought this up, because that's a really important point...he spent $1500 on me in 2 nights. I have almost all of it, because I have two goals in mind.
1. Put a down payment on a decent car, which I really really need.
2. Put a down payment on a decent house, which I also need.
I've actually broken down how much cash I need and how long it'll take at this rate. Once I get this out of him, I'm gonna ditch him. Haven't decided how I'm gonna do it yet, but it'll be done.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
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Originally Posted by
Farrah_Golden
Ps., he is SUPER intimate, and I HATE that from customers. I have no problem showing off my body and dancing allows me to enjoy my own sexuality, but I'm not willing to share my personal life with people. He always try to hold my hand, stare into my eyes and kiss my neck/face and it makes me want to backhand him. Why can't he just make it easy and stare at my tits???? lol
I want to go to your club and slit his throat open. You are describing the exact "type" of customer I can't stand..... I HATE these types! I say destroy his ego and put him in his place......
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
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Originally Posted by
J.D.
You hit the nail on the head!!! Or, in my case, I became dependent financially on this customer, and I fucking hated him, so I didn't look forward to his arrival. I felt trapped, like I had to sit there feeling nauseous, raped and violated, (even though he wasn't touching me) because I needed the money. NOT WORTH IT!!!!
The icing on the cake was when he started stalking me on facebook (at the time I didn't have it private, I had just created it), and hacked into my email! Then had the nerve to start interrogating me on some of the people I had been emailing. Then, I was out on a date with a guy, and one of his strip club buddies recognized me, and called him and told him. He was pissed, I didn't make much money that month. Fuck that mind fuck, unless he's giving you hundreds of thousands, it's not worth your energy, like it will suck the life out of you and you will be consumed by disgust and contempt.
Good God, that guy sounds terrible! I was just trying to think of what mine would do if he ever saw me and my husband outside of the club...I really doubt he'd say anything then and there; he'd probably bring it up at the club, and then the deal would be blown. If he DID try and pick a fight in public, my husband would have a field day and it would actually be pretty hilarious...to be specific, he asked me if I had a "boyfriend" and I said no. Well, I don't! I'm married. Yes, it's a dirty trick indeed, but it makes me feel like I have one up on this douchebag.
I made decent cash before him; nothing like what I'm pulling now, but decent and certainly enough to live comfortably off of. I believe confidence is key in this industry. I refuse to let myself think I'd be broke if it weren't for him; if it wasn't him, it would be someone else.
Each customer is like striking oil; you can't make a career out of it and it won't last forever, so just save it, move on and try to strike oil again.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
I've been writing that response for an hour^ trying to be careful. Ugg so glad you're ready to crush this ugly fucker! Eww and he says" do you like me best"? What the f**k is wrong with these ugly men?? You're paying dumbass!!! That's why I'm sitting here listening to you! Ohh can't wait to read the update on how you put this loser in his place. I would probably start with questioning him back like?
Why do you come to the strip club? Do you like women your age? Why not?Do you like women that have similar features like yours? Why don't you date regularly? How has the fantasy I've been playing working out for you? lol just the dumbest of questions but enough to say : YOU ARE TOO UGLY! GET REAL LOSER!
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Oh! And another little side note....my super awesome bouncer, who I love to death, prewarned me about this guy a couple of days in. Apparently he started following one of the girls who, unfortunately for her, started spending time with him after work. So, my gigantic, hulking, black, scary looking bouncer is keeping a close eye on him. :)
My club also keeps the girls inside until ALL customers are out of the parking lot; I know he could just as easily be sitting somewhere else waiting, but it's a little extra security.
Said bouncer instructed me to pull into a nearby gas station, wait for him to pull up behind me and if he does, turn around and come back to the club.
I'll be investing in some bear mace and a personal alarm tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. Anyway, point is, I love my bouncers and I'm always sure to tip them very well for keeping a close eye on this creeper.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cherryblossomsinspring
I've been writing that response for an hour^ trying to be careful. Ugg so glad you're ready to crush this ugly fucker! Eww and he says" do you like me best"? What the f**k is wrong with these ugly men?? You're paying dumbass!!! That's why I'm sitting here listening to you! Ohh can't wait to read the update on how you put this loser in his place. I would probably start with questioning him back like?
Why do you come to the strip club? Do you like women your age? Why not?Do you like women that have similar features like yours? Why don't you date regularly? How has the fantasy I've been playing working out for you? lol just the dumbest of questions but enough to say : YOU ARE TOO UGLY! GET REAL LOSER!
But then I'd have to hear him talk, and his voice alone makes me nauseated. That's actually the best part; we don't even converse....like, at ALL! I sit next to him, don't say a damn thing and he hands me money for the VIP room. It's usually in there that he asks the stupid ass questions/tries to be all cuddly nice nice, but it seems like the more indifferent I am to it all, the more obsessive he gets....which has its perks, cause that means he'll spend more money too.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
it sounds like the amount of money he's giving you is not worth whatever he's asking of you. i kind of want to punch this guy in the face for you but in the sake of being ladylike, why not do a tap dance on his ego the next time you see him and move on to the next customer? there is always more money. regulars always have shelf lives.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Farrah_Golden
But then I'd have to hear him talk, and his voice alone makes me nauseated. That's actually the best part; we don't even converse....like, at ALL! I sit next to him, don't say a damn thing and he hands me money for the VIP room. It's usually in there that he asks the stupid ass questions/tries to be all cuddly nice nice, but it seems like the more indifferent I am to it all, the more obsessive he gets....which has its perks, cause that means he'll spend more money too.
Uggg the hair on my neck is standing on end. I so wish I could just barge in there to spill a nice tall drink on his pants.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Farrah_Golden
Oh! And another little side note....my super awesome bouncer, who I love to death, prewarned me about this guy a couple of days in. Apparently he started following one of the girls who, unfortunately for her, started spending time with him after work. So, my gigantic, hulking, black, scary looking bouncer is keeping a close eye on him. :)
My club also keeps the girls inside until ALL customers are out of the parking lot; I know he could just as easily be sitting somewhere else waiting, but it's a little extra security.
Said bouncer instructed me to pull into a nearby gas station, wait for him to pull up behind me and if he does, turn around and come back to the club.
I'll be investing in some bear mace and a personal alarm tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. Anyway, point is, I love my bouncers and I'm always sure to tip them very well for keeping a close eye on this creeper.
Great , so he has a track record of being a stalker. So glad the bouncer is looking out for you like that. Hopefully he'll act up right there at the club and end up walking out like ::wheelchai
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
A girl at my club has a real problem with guys like this.
She really specializes in acting like their girlfriend, and they spend big money and have been for 1+ years--same couple guys.
You either have to be really good and convince him to stay ITC without giving him your number, or you have to cut him off. Most regulars have a shelf life.
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
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Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
A shelf life means that a regular customer will generally stop spending money on you at a certain point--which is typically when he realizes you don't really want him, just his money.