Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
It sounds like the only win/win situation you're going to get is to explain your position:
"Hey sweetie, you know you're the bestest fantasy boyfriend ever right? I love having you come in and you always make my night. The thing is, and I know you would NEVER do this on purpose, is that you're making me uncomfortable pressing me to go out when you know I don't do that. I turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of 3am you see/have a sick, ailing mother who takes up all my time/like to veg out all by myself and hate going out in public so going out on dates would be rather problematic. Now-- if you have an issue with this, I understand and I completely support you if you want to find another fantasy girlfriend. I want you to be happy just as I know you want me to be happy. And if we can be happy in the club together, once again, in the club, so much the better! Now! Shall I show my bestest boy some of my new dance moves?"
if he keeps pressing, give him the cold treatment and he'll either move onto a different girl or he'll come back all apologize and hundred dollar bills.
but JD is right-- all guys have an expiration date and it's better to hit your boundary and send him on his way in a nice way than go over your boundaries and have it turn into a nightmare with you kicking yourself after the fact for bending your rules for the freakazoid.
Edit: you can also "reward" him by giving him an internet phone number and then only checking it when you're at work. It is kind of rewarding bad behavior, but then again it emphasizes "hey, I only exist when I'm at work."
Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Update! Old creepy is cut off!
Here's the story of tonight's incident: at some point, he got this idea that I'm sleeping with one of the bouncers, which I am NOT! Bouncer comes up to me and says. "Hey, I have some of your friend's clothes, can I bring them over to your house?" (My friend and a fellow dancer is out of town,but stays with bouncer frequently.) Old creepy gets all upset and jealous of bouncer coming to my house.
So, I had a talk with him, that went a little something like this:
Look, bouncer is just trying to help out my friend, and by assuming I would sleep with him, you are insuling me because he is my coworker and that's unprofessional.
Creepy: I know, you're probably right, but just go make your money with someone else.
Blah, blah, blah. I tried to repair the damage, but then I just kinda said to hell with it, because I'm sick of his crap anyway. THEN I lost control.
Me: look, we're not exclusive. We will never be exclusive. What I do outside of work is none of your business. And by the way, you're a fucking idiot, because I was wearing my wedding ring, you dumb bastard.
.....
Yeeeah, probably not the wisest decision. I'm totally bummed over the decrease in income, but still feel amazingly liberated, like I got my LIFE back!
I've learned that my personal space includes my thoughts and emotions, and I will never let another customer invade my space again.
Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Ps: no, I do not wear my wedding ring to work. Apparently I left the house with it and didn't notice until I was mid-private dance with him. Ha...
Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Oh! And one more sidenote: I am SO happy because this ended at the perfect time. I was smart and saved everything this guy gave me, and/or invested very wisely. I now have 2 months of rent paid, plus all of my bills, groceries for this week AND some spending cash. :D thank GOD I didn't go and blow all of it, thinking he'd always be around....although I would've liked to squeeze a car out of him. hahaha
Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Farrah_Golden
Oh! And one more sidenote: I am SO happy because this ended at the perfect time. I was smart and saved everything this guy gave me, and/or invested very wisely. I now have 2 months of rent paid, plus all of my bills, groceries for this week AND some spending cash. :D thank GOD I didn't go and blow all of it, thinking he'd always be around....although I would've liked to squeeze a car out of him. hahaha
Yeah, but then he would've tried to take it back somehow after you cut him off. Trust me, I know from experience. I had a customer call the cops on me saying I stole his credit card when he had called in and made a huge purchase for me. The whole thing was bogus and in the end he got fucked, but it was sooo much stress for me in the meantime.
Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Congrats! What a fucktard.
Still be careful for several more months until he latches onto someone new.
You might want to cultivate someone new for him who knows in advance that
he has a lot of money to give, but also comes with headaches. In this way,
he'll likely be set up with someone mercenary and who can protect herself
rather than having some bumbling baby-stripper get run over by his bullshit
should she dawdle over to him and get sucked in.
Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
That's good advice. I think most of the dancers know his game though, from previous experiences or hearing stories. If I see someone latching to him, I will prewarn them out of consideration. I would trust the bouncers to do the same, but if that girl is particularly bitchy and/or a poor tipper, they may not. Just goes to show you, always tip very well!
That stupid dick even got a dance on the floor from another girl, just to teach me a lesson. Riiiiight...
But yeah, cutting him off was actually scary! I paid one of the bouncers to drive me home and walk me to the door.
Re: Creepy customer turning sugar daddy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
J.D.
By the way, it got so out of control with my customer, I couldn't even go on a date in this city! I was always looking over my shoulder waiting for him to pop out somewhere. Cutting him off was the best thing I did!
I realized that in a passive aggressive way he was manipulating me just as bad as I was him. It took me a long time to realize this, and the whole time I was the one feeling guilty for my actions, playing him, etc. FUCK THAT! He would reel me back in with money every time.... he knew had that control over me. My happiness level is a million times higher without him and that creepy icky feeling, I get the willies just thinking about him! So glad he's gone, he can keep all his money! I feel free now....
Wow! That sounds just like a customer of mine. It took me FOREVER to figure it out. He didn't gross me out. I thought he was nice and kind of felt sorry for him. He was like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I had NO IDEA he thought he was the greatest thing on earth. How in the heck did you figure that out so young?
I mean I have had creeps too. I had a guy that brought me in a dozen roses every time I was at work and one day he came into the club wearing some white star track looking costume and said he was my white knight. Man, I put a stop to that right away. I can't handle creepy!