Positive Stories Requested
I've been working on a book about some dancers in a club. It's based on the experiences of a friend of mine.
I'm getting close to being done and, reading it over, it's pretty negative in the sense that the women in the club are not having good experiences as dancers. I don't think this is bad because it's a particular set of experiences and some dancers don't have a good experience.
But it isn't necessarily the whole story.
Would anyone care to post or send me positive experiences about being a dancer? Do you love your job? Love your life? Feel fulfilled? I'd love to hear about it.
My idea is that I would insert a character (or a few characters) and have them relate the feelings that you express to me.
Thanks
Fatz
Re: Positive Stories Requested
One of my favorite things about dancing is that it allows me to be anything and anyone I want, and that is a lot of fun. With a change of outfit and a slight adjustment to my hair or makeup I can go from the shy innocent girl to the wild child who knows how to party. I also have a lot of fun with my pretend careers and majors. I've been everything from a secretary to a bio engineer. I've been an undecided major who loves to party and a physics grad student. I've traveled the world several times over as far as some clients know. The fun thing is that everything about these made up lives is learned from the clients I have had in the club. I could tell you anything you wanted to know about commercial refrigerants (long time regular) and after living near a defense contractor at one time I probably could have written the schematics for certain missile guidance systems.
I'm not saying that the whole job is always a blast, but there are parts of it (like what I mentioned above) that I usually enjoy. I've learned a lot about men, about life, about myself, and really about everything. Besides, sometimes it's just fun to twirl around a pole.
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Thanks for that! Very helpful.
Fatz
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Being a stripper has been very difficult and stressful for me because of my social setbacks. Autism seems to run in my family and I was diagnosed with Aspergers about a year ago. If you don't know anything about it, it basically consists of a triad of symptoms: difficulties in communication, difficulties in social interaction, and restrictive, repetitive behaviors. Needless to say, not the best combination for someone in a loud, crowded bar.
To be honest, there are few positive things I could glean from my experience as a stripper besides having the money to pay for my tuition in cash every semester. I do think that all the forced interactions have helped me improve my social skills. Granted, conversations at work are typically all the same so its basically like reading from a script, but I do actually believe I'm better at striking up a conversation in my real life because of stripping. The strip club has been good practice ground for me; when I talk to a man who finds me attractive, it doesn't really matter what I say, he's already very responsive and friendly. It really helped to boost my confidence. Stripping also taught me the importance of body language and eye contact. For instance, since eye contact is very uncomfortable and distracting for me, I started staring at men's mouths so it looks like I'm looking right back at them. It worked so well at work, I now use it in my day to day life.
I suppose that stripping (on the occasional good day) also gives me the opportunity to feel popular and desired for a change. Its nice since I'm a bit of a loser in my real life. I've even had days where I actually looked forward to my shift. However, even with this I still see stripping as an overall negative experience. Do I love my job? No. Do I love my life? No. Do I feel fulfilled? HELL no. I can't WAIT to be out of strip clubs forever.
Re: Positive Stories Requested
I work with a dancer with Aspergers. My son has Aspergers.
The dancer I work with that has Aspergers is extremely odd, she is not a good candidate for working in strip clubs. She says inappropriate things and my friend was counting $7,000 and she said "hey, how much is in there? I'm not going to steal it, just curious". I mean, that is clearly inappropriate. I know what Aspergers and Autism are because of my son, but I feel like this dancer should not be in the strip club. She cries all the time and limps around faking an injured leg after 2:30 AM and begs to go home. She has gone to jail twice for probation violations since she started at our club.
You, on the other hand, sound well adjusted and aware of the strengths and weaknesses that Aspergers gives you. I would much rather you work with me than her.
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Urkle
My idea is that I would insert a character (or a few characters) and have them relate the feelings that you express to me.
So basically this is fiction anyway?
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Just use "Sleeping Beauty" with a change of names and location.
Done.
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Fatz, go to a club and spend some money on the ladies. You will learn in short order what it what. I detest these guys who come in here wanting to suck information from the ladies, don't offer to pay them and don't know shit from shinola.
FBR
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Yeah, it's completely fiction. But the key to fiction is that it feel "real" in some sense.
For the record, I've been to the clubs in my area and to other clubs in other cities, spent my money got my dances. I know what *I* got out of that experience. That's what got me this far.
But what is that experience from the other side? The dancers I've known all had a pretty bad experience. Hence my question: is that the universal experience?
And one more comment: outsiders to your profession assume that it must be awful to be a dancer. You can hear the ladies in the Church Circle clucking their tongues, "Oh that poor woman, it must be just terrible what she has to do." I'd rather not write the book from a particular viewpoint simply because "everyone knows that's how it is".
So, again, anyone else love this profession?
Thanks
Fatz
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Read the forums.
This site backdates to... 2002, I believe. There is nearly a decade of stories here already. I've been interested in being a dancer on and off and have read the bulk of the forum since I first found it a few years ago - there is a ton of info/anecdotes/etc here already. Reading isn't hard to do. This must be like the 3rd "novelization of stripper's lives" request Ive seen in the past few months. It is lazy journalism to not just read the archives first.
As an outsider you have no idea how tedious and commonplace questions from non-sex industry ppl are - especially when they are "just curious" and want to know "the truth" or even worse if they are writing a book for their own profit and are asking to be spoonfed for free. Some people will def answer you because they're nice but FBR is spot on - the tone is the same brand of entitlement that sex workers have to deal with from freeloading customers already - so of course youll get met with eyerolling. Rethink your approach.
The best info you'll get is reading what people have already written. Almost every part of the forum is publicly viewable/searchable.
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Urkle
Yeah, it's completely fiction. But the key to fiction is that it feel "real" in some sense.
For the record, I've been to the clubs in my area and to other clubs in other cities, spent my money got my dances. I know what *I* got out of that experience. That's what got me this far.
But what is that experience from the other side? The dancers I've known all had a pretty bad experience. Hence my question: is that the universal experience?
And one more comment: outsiders to your profession assume that it must be awful to be a dancer. You can hear the ladies in the Church Circle clucking their tongues, "Oh that poor woman, it must be just terrible what she has to do." I'd rather not write the book from a particular viewpoint simply because "everyone knows that's how it is".
So, again, anyone else love this profession?
Thanks
Fatz
Yup, I love the profession. That's all I'll say. Fiction is even more a waste of our time. This is not going to change the perception of dancers because it will be under FICTION. As in, what a nice fairy tale, if only it was really like that for these poor girls. Why should any of us help you?
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Urkle
Yeah, it's completely fiction. But the key to fiction is that it feel "real" in some sense...
...So, again, anyone else love this profession?
Do you understand that, at this point, you are the SW-cyber equivalent of a "talker". In other words, a waste of a dancer's time...
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Quote:
Originally Posted by
yoda57us
Do you understand that, at this point, you are the SW-cyber equivalent of a "talker". In other words, a waste of a dancer's time...
What can possible useful response can I give to that!? ;-)
I have been the cyber equivalent of a talker here at EVERY point.
I'm not sure why you would read these threads if you don't want to talk, however, so I don't feel (too) bad.
Fatz
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Urkle
What can possible useful response can I give to that!? ;-)
I have been the cyber equivalent of a talker here at EVERY point.
I'm not sure why you would read these threads if you don't want to talk, however, so I don't feel (too) bad.
Fatz
Lmao, kudos for completely missing his point... ::)
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Laurisa
I work with a dancer with Aspergers. My son has Aspergers.
The dancer I work with that has Aspergers is extremely odd, she is not a good candidate for working in strip clubs. She says inappropriate things and my friend was counting $7,000 and she said "hey, how much is in there? I'm not going to steal it, just curious". I mean, that is clearly inappropriate. I know what Aspergers and Autism are because of my son, but I feel like this dancer should not be in the strip club. She cries all the time and limps around faking an injured leg after 2:30 AM and begs to go home. She has gone to jail twice for probation violations since she started at our club.
You, on the other hand, sound well adjusted and aware of the strengths and weaknesses that Aspergers gives you. I would much rather you work with me than her.
Thank you. Well, as they say, every person on the spectrum is different. Fortunately, I usually have some sense as to what is and what is not appropriate to say in conversation. I think a lot of it has to do with how my mom was constantly chiding me as a child, "Now how does that make him/her feel?". I keep to myself mainly, but when I do interact I try to be as nice as possible so people will accept me. The downside is I can't read people well and I can't tell if I'm being taken advantage of until too late.
I think part of the reason I don't get noticed so much at work is because I have a lot of support. The DJs I work with as well as a few managers know of my condition and they've been so good to me over the years (Plus, I'm sure it helps I tip reallyyy well, too). If it gets too crowded, I get taken off stage rotation, if I get overstimulated (I have lots of crying meltdowns, too), I'm allowed to take breaks in empty champagne rooms, and I can also leave whenever I need to. I'm so grateful to the staff at my club for working with me and being discreet.
Re: Positive Stories Requested
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Urkle
What can possible useful response can I give to that!? ;-)
I have been the cyber equivalent of a talker here at EVERY point.
I'm not sure why you would read these threads if you don't want to talk, however, so I don't feel (too) bad.
Fatz
You have friends who are dancers but you don't know what a "talker" is? I suspect you are full of shit...