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Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've never been single since starting camming, but I'm sure both has its pros and cons. I'm at the place right now that I need to decide whether to pull the plug or not before it gets too late.
I was wondering your personal opinions which do you prefer more:
1. Camming when you are single.
or
2. Camming when you are in a relationship or marriage.
Single pros:
Having all the time you want for camming.
bigger savings potential.
No relationship strain.
Getting to enjoy being single.
Big potential to move and do whatever.
Single cons:
Being lonely.
Security and protection.
No photography help.
Having to explain your career eventually.
Relationship pros:
Having a support system.
Future goals are more long term.
Added income.
Emotional support.
Family life.
Relationship cons:
Time constraints on schedules
Jealousy or lack of "attention"
More financial burden ex: debt, car, more food, big house, etc
Sexual strain or pressure
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Hiya , I suppose that depends on how close you are to your other half, but if you're thinking of pulling the plug , then maybe not so close :) lol
I can't speak for the single camgirls, because I've been with my husband since way before my cam career, and I've been camming since 2004...
Been with my man just over ten years, and hand on heart, I've never experienced any of the cons you mentioned for being in a relationship , bar perhaps the last one a little , but it would be fair to say I experienced that well before entering the adult industry :)
So for me personally , I prefer life with my husband and all that goes with it , including camming :)
I think really it comes down to the people and neither being single, nor being in a relationship is 'better' as far as work goes .... in the *right * relationship , I guess it's better , and in the wrong one, it's better to be single :)
Hope it helps a bit , I'll let the single girls give their POV now.
Missy x
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Single life and a self timer for the win please lol. Maybe when I reach certain goals I'll consider a relationship. It get's lonely sometimes but it's worth it to me.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
i'm single & i don't give a fuck. i'm young, time for me to sow my oats & masturbate on the internet.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've been with my partner for years, so while I can't speak personally to the pros of being single while camming, I do remember how much I loved being single. Now, I just love my partner more, I guess
I couldn't help but notice though, that on your 'pro' list for being in a relationship, everything but the 'added income' (presumably from sharing living expenses?) can be easily attained as a single person...never underestimate the power of good friends. If that was my list and the relationship 'pro' list didn't begin and end with being madly in love, I'd bounce.
It's obvious from your posts that you're a hella smart chica. I'd say good luck with whatever you decide, but I get the sense that you'll know which option is best for you, no 'luck' required:)
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
If it wasnt for my boyfriend helping me with this cam thing I don't know how I could do it. At times he acts as my mental support as well as my mental motivation when I'm not in the mood. He gives me great insight on what men want to see. He is very honest with me and helps me with outfits and dressing. He damn near acts like my manager at times lol. Do we disagree sometimes on things not related to camming? Yup. But the benefits of having him around outweigh everything else by far. He is not jealous or insecure at all. For example today. without me even knowing he went out brought me a new garter belt from victoria's secret, along with some new thigh highs, some fresh wet ones, and a dry eraser board. Hell he even had the balls to go and get me a enema bag (which I don't know how to use at all but mention to him the other day I was curious about it). I wonder if he will help me use it lol. We have been together (on and off but more on then off for 10 years). Like I said we are not perfect but I know he loves me and I do love him and Im happy to have someone like him in my corner.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I can imagine it would involve a lot of cons if you are in a boyfriend/girlfriend type situation, especially entering a new relationship while camming. Doesn't sound like that's your case, just throwing that out there.
I'm married and with my husband being in this industry since 2001 on the webmaster side of things, I find there are way more pros than cons. He gets what I'm doing and all that so it's a huge help.
Are you trying to decide to pull the plug on the relationship BECAUSE OF camming? I think that matters in making your decision... is he having a problem with it? If both of you can treat it like any other job as far as time, attention, etc goes then hopefully there would be no problems. If he's not "getting it" and this is your only job, you might need to pull the plug.
Good luck on which ever you choose! :)
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've been in a relationship since before I started camming, but I have worked elsewhere in the industry (dancing) while single, and I think that a lot of the pros and cons are going to be the same for both types of work.
When you are single, then its great to be able to have all the time that you want and ability to work late every night without feeling that you are neglecting your partner. And depending on your living situation, living with a partner can really cut into your camming time! My partner is incredibly supportive, and I couldn't ask for anyone better, but we are looking for a bigger place now, so that I will be able to cam in a separate room, and he can either work or watch tv in the living room while I do it. As it is, I cam from the living room, and so I only work when he is not at home.
Other than that, I can't really see another pro to being single!! From your list, I would say that you should be able to save MORE money in a relationship - save money on food/bills/rent etc. On top of that, if your relationship is not enjoyable or causing "strain" on a regular basis - thats not a good relationship!! And I've found when single and working, trying to date is a NIGHTMARE.
At the end of the day, it comes down to having the right relationship, and being at a point in your life when you want ANY relationship...
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I was dating my bf when I started camming and I really don't find any of the "relationship cons" to exist.
If anything, he's busier, because he is in school and working, I'm doing part time work and part time camming, and I do it whenever he isn't around. Only a couple times have I been like, okay I really need to cam right now, and he just goes out or something, not a big deal.
Neither of us are jealous or find that we don't give each other attention.
Financial burden is, in my opinion, better since I'm with him. We don't live together but we plan to move in together next year and we are realizing how much money we will be saving (ex. instead of 500/mo each for a place, it would be 800/mo for a place which is 400 for both of us ... cheaper!).
We still have amazing sex!
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
You guys have really great points.
I've been with my man for 2 years and we are engaged. I love him dearly & I can see his geniune, kind love for me...that's not really the problem. But as most people know, not all relationships survive on love alone.
The problem is I progressed maturity wise, and he has not. I'm on the fast track with webcamming pushing me to make the best out of this life. I've got my head on my shoulders & I actually DO what I need to do. I guess we are just in different places.
He says he's going back to school in January, but he's been saying that for the past year and a half. He doesn't make very much money, but he spends it like its endless. He spends over 160$ a week on weed, and when I tell him to slow down he says he will but never does. I can't get him off the couch from playing video games during his time off to get a second job until school starts so that we can do all the things he constantly talks about: moving out of state, buying a house, etc.
I'm just tired of doing all the housework, making 90% of the money, trying to get him productive, and acting like a mom so he doesn't dig an even bigger hole of debt for himself.
I work hard, and I love that he supports what I do, but sometimes I wonder if things would be more fair if I was by myself. Breaking off an engagement is hard, but its also not the end of the world if it is just not right. I'm 21 I shouldn't be so afraid.
I keep telling myself, "Am I going to let life control me, or am I going to control my life?"
I guess if I did break my engagement then I would have to cam while going through heartache, loneliness, and all the other icky things that go with break-ups.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
never cammed single so i can't speak to that - although right now both of my partners live out of state (i just moved and they're in the process of moving to be with me over the next year) so i'm kind of enjoying having the apt and time to myself for work. but even when we're together we're pretty independent and when we all three live together eventually i'm going to have my own office for camming and working on art and design stuff (one of my other jobs). we've always maintained separate finances though, except for occasionally helping each other out during hardship. so there's not a lot of weirdness around money but also not a lot of added income. not married so our debts are separate, split the bills whenever we have shared bills, etc. personally i feel there's more security when i'm with them - both are ex-military, one is in law enforcement and has a pretty impressive collection of guns, lol. living by myself right now in contrast makes me feel not so secure in the physical sense at least.
i've been with one of my partners for six years and the other for a year so we're pretty used to each other and the ebb and flow. sometimes we're really busy and don't have a lot of time to spend with one another but then when work slows down it balances out. have to look at the big picture i guess :) and we don't do ultimatums...like they would never make me choose between them and my job.
it works for us. but - i can totally understand some of the issues folks have around relationships and camming. definitely if your partner isn't really independent, or if you don't have your own space, it can really intrude on camming time, especially for those of us who work bizarre hours (thankfully both of my partners also work bizarre hours in vanilla jobs so they get that aspect of it). and sometimes it kills my sex drive or makes me hate people or really stresses me out. but...big picture. we've all three had health issues that also affected our energy and sex drive and so those kinds of issues come and go, we just wait them out. and usually the sex is awesome :) living apart right now sucks but it's not forever and it does give me an excuse to travel, hehe.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
continued - we were posting at the same time so i didn't respond to yr second post.
my ex-fiance sounds a lot like yours. things didn't work out for us because i grew up and he didn't...i am not super pushy about conventional goal setting and achievement, like, i don't need a partner to have a degree or anything like that. but i do need them to be able to support themselves or have some other kind of plan, you know? we loved each other a lot but it wasn't enough for us. he couldn't hold down a job and once he was out of school he stopped having a convenient excuse for not working. he wouldn't cook or do housework and i didn't want to be both his mom and his girlfriend. plus emotionally he was very dependent and disliked it when i wasn't super dependent on him. i realized when i started feeling trapped, like our lives were too entwined for me to leave and i was terrified of dealing with the breakup (especially with wondering how he would support himself and with his codependence), that i really really really needed to get out. we're still really great friends - in fact he's my best friend, which a lot of people find odd, but whatever, it works for us. i'm close to his family. but there's no way our relationship would have lasted, and he still hasn't grown up. he lives with his parents, doesn't work, and spends most of his day playing computer games. his relationships after me ended up breaking up for the same reason.
i really hope things work out for you and i totally get your frustration <3
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FelixGirl
He spends over 160$ a week on weed, and when I tell him to slow down he says he will but never does. I can't get him off the couch from playing video games during his time off to get a second job until school starts so that we can do all the things he constantly talks about: moving out of state, buying a house, etc.
I'm just tired of doing all the housework, making 90% of the money, trying to get him productive, and acting like a mom so he doesn't dig an even bigger hole of debt for himself.
I guess if I did break my engagement then I would have to cam while going through heartache, loneliness, and all the other icky things that go with break-ups.
I know you were here to ask our opinions on relationship camming, and not for an analysis of your own relationship . I also know I shouldn't judge you relationship ... But please let me, for just one moment .....
If you make 90% of the cash , it's a real shame and a little disrespectful to say the least that he spends so much on a recreational drug :(
Secondly , whatever you decide, please DO Not make that decision based on not wanting to work through the painful shit that comes with a breakup .... because staying with someone to avoid that painful shit , ends up being 10x more painful in the long run :( ....
If you 'do' end your engagement , you WILL get through it , you WILL come out the other side, and you WILL move on .... Sudden death is better than slow suicide .....
That said , I'm quite the romantic , and hope you guys come to some compromise and work things out for the better .
Meant with every best intention , I would hate to cause offense.
Missy x
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've cammed both single, taken, and everything in between! Right now I'm camming "truly" single for the first time ever, and I have flourished! It makes such a difference to be able to focus on me and me only. As for the "support", well that's what best friends are for ^_^
Honestly, as long as I keep camming I want to be nothing but single.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
This is my first official post, so hi forum!
;D
I spent years in a relationship with a guy who was depressed, barely worked, spent tons of money on weed/alcohol/cigs, and spent most of his free time playing world of warcraft. I sank SO much time, effort, and money into trying to make it work, because I couldn't imagine loving anyone else. It was like being totally alone, yet in a relationship. All the cons of being single, but none of the pros of being with someone.
Finally, he cheated on me, and it broke the spell. I took a long hard look at my life: miserable, approaching 30, and still nowhere near reaching any of my dreams. I dumped the loser, and 3 months later found the perfect guy for me. He's as kind and supportive to me as I am to him, but respects my independence. After a few years with him, my life is on the track I wanted, and we moved across the country together and escaped our crappy home state. Life just keeps getting better.
When it comes to camming, I think a relationship can either be a helping hand that lifts you up, or a dead weight, it just depends on the relationship. I started camming a few months ago, and my bf does my photos, helps promote me, and is totally supportive of my choice (he thinks of my camming as 'acting' where only he gets to be with the 'real' me in person).
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
well... i was making WAY more money when i was single. really, really, LOTS more. and i was able to save more.
now i have to share what i have, i make less, i have to do things my bf wants me to do (thus taking me away from making money), i cant do what i want and when i want (like, i cant take nude pics or vids for sale when he is at home, he donest approve that), and - well, i havent been able to save a penny in those three years we live together.
all this love yada yada thing, blah blah, the more i think of it, the more it looks like i shouldnt be in any relationship in the first place. im not even interested in sex and i really enjoy sleeping alone, not with someone.
what i do need is this intimacy - i think thats the only reason why im in this relationship. otherwise id be out.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
My rule of thumb: If you have to question it, you should end it. No sense is wasting your time on something that is hindering you or isn't working.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
gingergina
well... i was making WAY more money when i was single. really, really, LOTS more. and i was able to save more.
now i have to share what i have, i make less, i have to do things my bf wants me to do (thus taking me away from making money), i cant do what i want and when i want (like, i cant take nude pics or vids for sale when he is at home, he donest approve that), and - well, i havent been able to save a penny in those three years we live together.
all this love yada yada thing, blah blah, the more i think of it, the more it looks like i shouldnt be in any relationship in the first place. im not even interested in sex and i really enjoy sleeping alone, not with someone.
what i do need is this intimacy - i think thats the only reason why im in this relationship. otherwise id be out.
I feel exactly like this sometimes.
Well I had a long talk with him & he said he's getting a second job & taking care of all the dishes from now on to help out around the house.
Since we've already made it 2 years I'm going to give him one more month to prove that he's an adult and he's ready to do what's neccessary to keep us moving forward. So he can get to a place were he can take care of ME and I can be the caretaker of our future family someday!
Haha, seriously if I didn't "have" to cam and instead just cammed whenever I felt like it for extra spending money then I would be rolling in the dough. It's so easy to make more money when its stress free!
I have high hopes that he can man up and be responsible. Otherwise I'm not hesitating to leave him. Something has to change now that's for sure.
Thank you so much ladies for listening to my rants! :smellie_g
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FelixGirl
I feel exactly like this sometimes.
Well I had a long talk with him & he said he's getting a second job & taking care of all the dishes from now on to help out around the house.
Since we've already made it 2 years I'm going to give him one more month to prove that he's an adult and he's ready to do what's neccessary to keep us moving forward. So he can get to a place were he can take care of ME and I can be the caretaker of our future family someday!
Haha, seriously if I didn't "have" to cam and instead just cammed whenever I felt like it for extra spending money then I would be rolling in the dough. It's so easy to make more money when its stress free!
I have high hopes that he can man up and be responsible. Otherwise I'm not hesitating to leave him. Something has to change now that's for sure.
Thank you so much ladies for listening to my rants! :smellie_g
i hope it works out for you! one way or the other :)
heh, mine has NEVER done dishes. never ever. never made dinner. he hasnt even taken a bag of garbage out once. and since he found out how much money im making, he has started working less and making less money himself. his argument is - hey, weve got enough!
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've got to say, I'm really surprised about how many of you girls are finding that you are "sharing" your money in a relationship, so are saving and having less to spend.
To my mind, a relationship should pretty much always leave you financially better off - because all of the bills that you had as a single person should be halved when you are living with a partner. Rent, hydro, internet, cable....all of these should be half and half. Groceries and going out should stay pretty much the same - you are buying more food, granted, but you should be splitting the cost. Cooking for two is usually cheaper per person than cooking for one! Honestly, the thought of my boyfriend or husband thinking that they could expect me to support them because I have the earning potential to is sickening! There may be times where you are supporting a partner (between jobs, in school, etc) if you are comfortable doing so, but in the long term, you should both be working to contribute to the household.
Same with guys that are apparently doing nothing around the house...seriously ladies? Don't get me wrong, my guy doesn't do a whole lot with the cleaning or laundry, but he DOES do all the DIY, technology stuff, car maintenance, and takes out the trash. In short - we find a way to balance the stuff that needs doing around the house to suit our skills....
Remember - if a guy respects you and the relationship, he will be working as hard as you to improve your finances and move forward your life as a couple. Unless you have all the property you want paid off in full, any cars you want paid off in full, enough savings for retirement AND kids (if you want them) and enough money saved separately for holidays, big purchases etc...then it seems ridiculous to hear of a guy saying that they don't have to work because you have "enough".....bah!!!
Obviously - I don't know your individual relationships, so please don't take offense to any of the above - none is meant as personal attacks...just my own thoughts on when a relationship is fair, and when a guy is probably taking advantage...
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ManyRoses
I've got to say, I'm really surprised about how many of you girls are finding that you are "sharing" your money in a relationship, so are saving and having less to spend.
To my mind, a relationship should pretty much always leave you financially better off - because all of the bills that you had as a single person should be halved when you are living with a partner. Rent, hydro, internet, cable....all of these should be half and half. Groceries and going out should stay pretty much the same - you are buying more food, granted, but you should be splitting the cost. Cooking for two is usually cheaper per person than cooking for one! Honestly, the thought of my boyfriend or husband thinking that they could expect me to support them because I have the earning potential to is sickening!
This is certainly true in a perfect world but the world is not so perfect , and when one of you gets sick , long term injury/illness ... or kids come along you suddenly find yourself financially not so well off anymore , and the partnership becomes a financial hindrance rather than leaving you better off ..... Not trying to piss on your parade ... just every cloud has a silver lining and most silver linings have their clouds ! :D
I'm definitely financially not as well off now as I could have been single , but I wouldn't trade in my husband , for all the money in the world , and I really mean that !
I agree though with the lady who said ... if you have to question it , it's not for you ... because no amount of convincing from friends nor forum would make me question my love for my husband, only he has the power to do that , and thankfully , so far, so good. :P
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ukmissy
This is certainly true in a perfect world but the world is not so perfect , and when one of you gets sick , long term injury/illness ... or kids come along you suddenly find yourself financially not so well off anymore , and the partnership becomes a financial hindrance rather than leaving you better off ..... Not trying to piss on your parade ... just every cloud has a silver lining and most silver linings have their clouds ! :D
Hmm that's interesting. I guess I'm not getting why 2 people with 2 incomes who are splitting everything down the middle wouldn't be better off than 1 person with 1 income paying everything by herself. I mean yeah if there were an injury, illness, long-term disability, kids or other special circumstances then yeah I totally get that. But those are exceptions. Most people (especially on this board) are in a relationship with another healthy, able-bodied human being who is physically able to work and earn money. I just don't know if I could be in a relationship where my quality of life is going down because i'm in a relationship. I'm not arguing. I guess i'm just trying to understand why this would be the case.
I'm very happily single. I couldn't imagine being in a relationship right now because I just don't have the time to give anyone nor do I feel I could be as successful as I am with camming if I were in a relationship. I know some people are and that's great for them but when I get in full on hustle-mode, I forget everyone and everything around me. I know a good relationship would involve time and effort and right now all of that is going into camming and building my brand. I would never want to neglect my boyfriend. So for now, I just date casually. But before camming, the only time I really ever considered getting into a relationship was when I got tired of paying the bills by myself and would think "damn I sure wish I had someone to pay half of these bills". I just always felt like being in a relationship or a marriage would make things easier financially.
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Yeah, I suppose you are right ... if responsibilities are halved , so should the strain be .
I think a lot of women are made to feel they should support their man because the man makes them believe they have an 'easy way ' of making money ....
I can't say for sure, because until my husband got ill, he always looked after me , however I know from talking with a lot of male friends, that they think us girls have it easy , and have a money tree growing in our knickers !!!!
I don't think it's right though , I think however easy or not ones job is , both parties should accept equal responsibilities where they can , and if one doesn't actively WANT to do that to help the other ... then what's the point in the whole shebang .
My husband doesn't earn nearly as much as me , but he surely pulls his weight ... I mean on occasion where he's gone to help my dad at work , my income has suffered hugely , because I've had to take care of things which he would normally be seeing to .... and the money he pulled in just didn't match what I had lost .
I know people judge us for how we live our lives, but I think only ONE thing matters, and that's mutual happiness ... But like I said in a previous post in this thread... I've always been an old romantic at heart , even when he's on his knees and begging to kiss my toes :P
Missy x
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Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming