Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
It really depends on the relationship. If you're with someone who pulls their own weight, has their own full-time job, and supports you, I see no cons except for the not-so-much-freedom to move around thing (which I honestly struggle with myself in my relationship). Other than that, if a bf is lazy, needy and judgmental, he'd be fucking with your life even if you were doing a different job besides camming and should be gotten rid of. I started working less when I got into a relationship, but this was honestly just a reflection of my own laziness and procrastination and wanting to find anything to get me out of work. My bf works 40 hours a week - there's no reason why I wouldn't, at the very least, be able to follow that same schedule if I truly felt I had to be free every minute he is. But couples often have 40-hour workweeks where they don't match up exactly. Sometimes you have to skip things for the sake of work - sometimes they do. It really shouldn't be a big deal.
If you treat camming like the job it is and make sure your bf is on the same page, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to set a full-time schedule and stick to it. Unless you're trying to pull 60-80-hour weeks camming, saying that you don't have as much time to cam in a relationship as single is probably just an excuse for laziness, or is the indication of an insecure, unsupportive bf who won't let you work like you need to when you need to, and guys like that are not worth it no matter what job you have. Being in a relationship while camming does not bring you down; being in a shitty relationship while doing any job brings you down.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I have been with my bf for almost 6 years :o off and on for a while but thats another story.
I didn't start camming until we moved in together and I quit my 'vanilla' job. He supports me and encourages me when I'm being too damn lazy to get on.
He also has a job (not a very good one, but its holding him over until law school) and helps me with money if I need it.
He has a job where he works 6-8 hours a day, and I just work when he does. If I ever needed to cam while he was home he wouldn't get mad that I wasn't spending time with him, he would be like "good, you owe me $40" lol.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aurora_Sunset
If you treat camming like the job it is and make sure your bf is on the same page, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to set a full-time schedule and stick to it. Unless you're trying to pull 60-80-hour weeks camming, saying that you don't have as much time to cam in a relationship as single is probably just an excuse for laziness, or is the indication of an insecure, unsupportive bf who won't let you work like you need to when you need to, and guys like that are not worth it no matter what job you have. Being in a relationship while camming does not bring you down; being in a shitty relationship while doing any job brings you down.
The time constraint that I find is not the amount of hours I work but actually the times of the day that I work. Most of the guys I've dated usually work first shift hours, meaning they would want to hang out around 6pm or later. Well that's around the time I'm about to log on and I often go into the early morning hours because these are the best hours for me. My free time is usually in the late morning til the evening when most of the guys I date are at work. Usually when I do go on a date I don't cam that particular day. But if I were in a relationship, I would imagine that my bf would want to hang out more than one day a week. This is why time would be an issue for me in a relationship not because of laziness or an insecure bf. I imagined if I were on cam from 7am-5pm then it would work better for me in a relationship but I don't feel like I would be maximizing my earning potential at those hours which is my main goal right now.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I also made a lot more money both dancing and camming single. I a definitely more happy in a relationship but I still feel weird having him home when I cam. Unfortunately its cut into my cam time significantly so I am going to try camming with him home for the first time tonight. I just feel odd knowing he can hear me moan and say things like "You want my tight little *****". I just feel like a goof ball sometimes with the things we have to say to guys. Anyone else feel weird camming when their partner is home?
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Lol never got to camming with him home tonight because he borrowed the laptop for fantasy football and messed with it so now its acting funny. So far lots of cons! Lol jk I love him. I'll give it another try tomorrow. Would love to hear about any other girls that cam with their bf's home and what works best for them (having him help or not help).
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I was dancing when my current boyfriend and I got together, and he was supportive while I did that. He sometimes came into the club when it was slow and tipped all of the girls and barstaff. I recently got back into camming and the other day I was describing a recent SPH session with him and he was giving me advice. "You told him you liked 8 inch cocks? Should have said 10! You want these guys to know that their tiny dicks would never in a million years please you." He knows more about bizarre fetishes than anyone I know, so he gets a kick out of my sometimes-bewilderment at some of the men I talk to.
I also live alone in a studio, and he does too, which works out well for us because he's a writer so he needs to be alone to work as well. We'll go several days without seeing each other and working and then once all of our goals are met go out and celebrate.
I don't think all men are able to date a girl in this profession, but the ones that are and are supportive of it are worth looking for. I've personally never had problems dating while dancing either, but I don't put up with men that can't handle it. If they can't handle that, then they probably wouldn't be able to handle me anyway, regardless of what I was doing.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've never cammed single but I live alone. I have 2 lovers which is already hard enough with time management.. but sometimes my work schedule makes it even harder. You girls know it's hard to predict what good hours will be so if you log on and plan to work the day shift but no money comes in... You might have to still be camming when they are done at work. It makes it too tempting sometimes to just say I'd much rather log off and have dinner with you, or roll around in bed, or go out on the town and have fun together, than keep camming. I am moving and I will have a legit office to cam in soon where I can shut the door and have privacy when I get a show. They can hang out in the rest of my house and do whatever while I am still logged in.
I like living alone and being independent, paying for everything myself. Sometimes I get stressed and wish they would help me split up the bills but I think it might make things too complicated and I'm not ready for that.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Breannasparks
I also made a lot more money both dancing and camming single. I a definitely more happy in a relationship but I still feel weird having him home when I cam. Unfortunately its cut into my cam time significantly so I am going to try camming with him home for the first time tonight. I just feel odd knowing he can hear me moan and say things like "You want my tight little *****". I just feel like a goof ball sometimes with the things we have to say to guys. Anyone else feel weird camming when their partner is home?
^ you nailed that shit right on girl! haha, yeah i say the craziest shit hahaha and i sooo cannot cam with anyone in the house bc i cant get into my crazy groove dirty talk
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Im currently in a relationship and I got into camming while with my bf because we were struggling finacially at the time, we have a child together (3yr old) and it was easier for me to stay home then work. I mean it's hard at times and in the past he did get a little jealous but he has gotten past it and we worked thru it. We've been together 4 years he works fulltime at a hospital and is in school, so when he comes home he is tired, ussually passes out. I can cam at night or early morning I sleep when I can. Camming while in a relationship can be rough at times esp since im a mother and i have a house to keep up with, I could imagine being single while camming would be alot more profitable. We don't split our bills down the middle, bc he takes good care of me and our little girl. He pulls the bigger half of the bills but untill i have more time to cam/sleep when my child goes to daycare next year..I wouldn't be able to do it without him we are a team! :) I think its fine to cam while being in a relationship as long as your both mature and have good heads on your shoulders.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
i'm totally with you on time management, limecoconut...esp with two partners.
for me with my health problems it's nearly impossible to do anything spontaneously anyway and my partners are used to that, thank god. a lot of my friends are not but they're beginning to understand. i gotta know at least a few days in advance if you want me to go out. lol :) that makes it easier for me to arrange work as well.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bird of Paradise
This is my first official post, so hi forum!
;D
I spent years in a relationship with a guy who was depressed, barely worked, spent tons of money on weed/alcohol/cigs, and spent most of his free time playing world of warcraft. I sank SO much time, effort, and money into trying to make it work, because I couldn't imagine loving anyone else. It was like being totally alone, yet in a relationship. All the cons of being single, but none of the pros of being with someone.
Finally, he cheated on me, and it broke the spell. I took a long hard look at my life: miserable, approaching 30, and still nowhere near reaching any of my dreams. I dumped the loser, and 3 months later found the perfect guy for me. He's as kind and supportive to me as I am to him, but respects my independence. After a few years with him, my life is on the track I wanted, and we moved across the country together and escaped our crappy home state. Life just keeps getting better.
When it comes to camming, I think a relationship can either be a helping hand that lifts you up, or a dead weight, it just depends on the relationship. I started camming a few months ago, and my bf does my photos, helps promote me, and is totally supportive of my choice (he thinks of my camming as 'acting' where only he gets to be with the 'real' me in person).
I agree with you!haha :cloud9:
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've been with my boyfriend who I live with for about 2 years, and I started camming a few months ago. Like a lot of the other ladies, I've never experienced any of the cons listed. However, I do have an extra "pro" to add when in a relationship (at least with me lol). Although my boyfriend is a too little camera shy for anything like couple shows, he does enjoy taking photos and making videos for my blowjob sets. The privacy thing isn't really an issue because we're both in school full-time and have different schedules. But it used to really bother me to cam at the times when he was home, but if he's home, I just turn up the TV or his videos (or whatever he's doing), and it's not a big deal.
That said, not everyone is that way. For some- okay, a lot- of people, jealousy is a major issue when it comes to something like camming. As far as the jealousy thing goes, this is my philosophy: If I don't care that my boyfriend gets off to gorgeous ladies in porn, then he shouldn't care that other guys admire me. ;)
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I've been pretty much single while being a webcam girl over the years. I did have one bf who wanted to be on cam with me but i didnt want him at my work place!
On the issue on photography i use a self timer on my camera to take photos. Easy peasy!
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Me and my BF broke up this morning. Because we fight so much. He has been the BIGGEST supporter of me camming and he also works in the industry so it's been pretty good! Im really scared to go through the heart ache too and still be able to put on a happy face and cam. I put in a full time schedule camming and i really feel as if he's the main motivator for me being able to do it. I hope i can still do it without his support and without living with him. Im super nervous that im going to be so sad that i just can't even show up on cam :-\
I sound so weak but.... I just live n a crappy town in support of him and his situation and the fighting we do just doesn't feel worth it anymore to me. I know all signs say GO and we've pretty much officially broken up. But ugh just the thought of not being as motivated or earning the same amount of money i do now scares me. And the loneliness.... Well that's just going to f*ing Suck!!!
Hope im making the right choice.... Im just so sick of fighting with him and his crazy baby mama drama and her hating me for no reason other than im an "embarrassing whore"
because i cam.... Pfffttttt..... Whatever!
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
hf487, I'm so sorry to hear that! I know you've heard it all before but all breakups suck and virtually all are for the best in the long run.
Use camming to your benefit—I know that it boosts my self-esteem to no end (though I rarely have haters in my room). Know that you are beautiful and smart and funny and that men find you desirable. You are not an "embarrassing whore"!
I say this as someone who broke up with her fiancé relatively recently. Improbably enough I am now married to a wonderful man who supports my camming wholeheartedly. It astounds him that men are willing to pay money for cam-sex and dirty talk, but he is all for it—more money for us and our future!
Take care of yourself, take time to grieve, and remember that you are beautiful and deserve nothing less than love and support. <3
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
In response to the OP's question, I'd have to offer up the advice of DTMFA. It sucks but it will be for the best. You are young and it is too early in life to settle for someone who doesn't pull his own weight and make you feel valued.
As for single vs. relationship, I am happily married (a newlywed, even!) and my husband is my biggest fan.
I can't figure out how to cam with him in our space, though. We live in the attic of a shared house, and while it's big, there's no way for me to have any separation from him. As it is I usually kick him downstairs, which does nothing but drive him nuts because he'd rather be at his (desktop) computer. If anyone has suggestions on this front, please speak up!
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Quote:
Originally Posted by
LittleLolaRose
hf487, I'm so sorry to hear that! I know you've heard it all before but all breakups suck and virtually all are for the best in the long run.
Use camming to your benefit—I know that it boosts my self-esteem to no end (though I rarely have haters in my room). Know that you are beautiful and smart and funny and that men find you desirable. You are not an "embarrassing whore"!
I say this as someone who broke up with her fiancé relatively recently. Improbably enough I am now married to a wonderful man who supports my camming wholeheartedly. It astounds him that men are willing to pay money for cam-sex and dirty talk, but he is all for it—more money for us and our future!
Take care of yourself, take time to grieve, and remember that you are beautiful and deserve nothing less than love and support. <3
Thanks so much, i appreciate this and also im happy for you and your outcome :D
Yah u are right i don't have many haters either! So ur right it can be a good place too!
Yah his baby's mom called me that, and i was almost upset for him telling me, Why do i
care or want to hear her negativity.... But it's more of a joke because if you only knew
this women.... She is pretty much a low-life. I won't go into that though. But thank you
so much for taking the time to respond and i do believe all wounds heal over time! And
u make very valid points :D
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Congrats! It sounds like you are part of a great relationship. I also face the same problem with camming while my significant other is around. It's really hard to pull it off in the same room because sound is a major factor. Maybe you could invest in a really good microphone and play background music so he won't have to hear you. It might also be good to just separate the space with a decorative looking screen of some sort.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
I'm single and even though I've thought about the possiblity, once I even talk to a guy outside of the industry I get annoyed. The whole needy , it's about me, and strock my ego crap is too taxing. It just doesn't seem worth it for me anyways to put energy into dating or bf's when they aren't coming to give but to take. It's funny because on cam guys always bring up this topic and I'm just like nope not even interested. Take that dream to someone else's room. They all do this but " you have needs" and I go you're right. I could use a tune up on my car, maybe some tires, a brand new bureau would be great, ohh and some shopping cash too. Also saving for the future etc etc... None of that includes, depro shots, yeast infections, utis , any ohter unforseen issues that would keep me from camming because he needed to go another round and now I'm sore. It's just not worth the extra effort when I'm going to have to log in and deal with men anyways. The one on cam are paying my bills and yet I would have to come home, sleep with someone that can't??
Now in the past when I was no where near the adult industry I had bfs in the past support me financially. I worked but never felt like "ooh no I wish payday was here because I'm broke and ....What I made was for shopping, gifts for him and our familys little things. He paid all of the big bills and I took care of the nick nack things. It's funny how you go to work with a different attitude when you don't need the money desperately vs.. " ohh rent needs to be paid and ooh insurance is due this week".
So my point is unless a man is coming along to relieve me of 75% of my finacial burdens then he only serves to slow me down getting that help I need for myself.
So the saying goes "you're eithe part of the solution or you're part of the problem." However in camming my motto is you're either part of the solution or you ARE THE PROBLEM.
Just to add early this year I spoke with a guy and I actually thought hmmm maybe. Just for a moment. Then I told him what I did and he seemed to be ok with it. Later I told him I was thinking of signing up on a site that combined camming and gaming. He wasn't really supportive of the idea but I understood his worry. Then he went to say "why would a guy pay for a cam model when he can just watch free porn". I thought you know some people like the person live that interacts with them. So that rubbed me the wrong way because what he spent 8 years of his life going to school for hasn't account to squat. So all good plans don't always work out but I didn't bring that obvious truth up. Wasn't trying to kick him while he's down.
Ok getting to my point...
So he invites me out to a gamer hang out event. I thought hmm "work or hang out with someone that thinks paying for my time is ridiculous??". I told him it's best for me to WORK. I think he kinda felt the cold shoulder vibe so he tried to text me dumb questions like "what should I watch " blah blah. Even his " I just got a new phone" erked me. The great thing was I used google voice number to give to him. So I just cut it off. Also he tried to invite me over for dinner but I have a feeling it was " come over for sex". He got caught in his bullshit when he kept saying his roommate hadn't come home yet. blah blah.
I said no thanks I'm too busy. Have dinner with your roommate ( when he comes home) withouht me.
Moral of the story.
People that don't see any value in what I do , don't actually see any value in me. So they need to be shown how my interraction with them isn't of value either. If some guy wants me to blow off camming he better have one hell of a proposition for that to be worth my time.
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
Just an update on whats going on, The next day or the same night i think... We made up 1) because im a softy and 2) because my mom was coming into town 2 days later and i didn't want my house in shambles and to be fighting with him when my mom was here and have her feel uncomfortable. I could have gotten a hotel but we just ended up making up.....
So my mom came into town and this was the first time my BF and my mom had seen each other since about 2 years ago when they got in a fight (long story) So this was the visit to break the ice and start fresh since for about the past year we have all kind of moved past the fight that happened 2 years ago, And they've talked on the phone, Wished each other Happy Birthday and what not. So we all go out to dinner the night she gets here. It goes great and we all get along, aside from him being on his phone.... Which is really annoying and rude and i think it can wait! The next day my mom and i do out own thing and go to the beach, lunch etc. I text him because we want to come home and shower and get ready for dinner and what not and i always text him before i come home unexpectedly because he works from home and i make sure he isnt on a call so the dog doesnt bark. Well he says No can u wait an hour or so.... That was annoying but it worked out! So long story short.... The next morning (before my mom and i leave) she says lets all go to breakfast i'll buy so we go and he's on his phone the whole first 5-10 minutes or so that we sit down.... Very RUDe and annoying in my eyes since my mom is obviously trying to have conversation and he's just got his head down looking on Facebook of all things! So in a nice way I tell him to put it down and he is obviously annoyed at me asking him to but he does. We get home and my mom and i only need 20 minutes to get packed and get out the door i needed to dry a load of laundry and im trying to be as considerate as possible... being quiet so he can work from his office which is right next to the Kitchen, washer and dryer.... He throws a fit, my mom and i leave with her wet clothes in a trash bag to take to a laundry mat to dry. Long story short my mom was in town for 2 days ALL i wanted was for there to be peace in the house for 2 days! He couldnt help me and make it happen! We got into a fight because basically i can't make my mom feel comfortable in my own house because i have to tip toe and i cant even use the washer because he is "working".
Mom and i left and i came back last night. We sit down and talk and he's like "I thought we were going to forget about this and we were going to move on" He likes to move on without talking about it almost like he just wants a free pass. And i tell him im just not capable of moving on without discussing it. So he goes into his rant about how we just cant stand each other anymore and that we should just break up before we start hating each other..... I couldn't get a word in edge wise.... Basically the guy is hard to deal with. Works from home so i can't do much around the house because its noisy. But i work from home too!
He's grumpy most of the time, Doesn't like to go do things like he did whenever we first got together. And he's a work-o-holic here lately. Along with legal issues with his children.....
It's just not a happy home. But a part of me thinks we haven't tried everything we can to make it work. Another part says yep just end it now like he says.....
I do Love Him! and whenever we met i was in a terrible spot in my life that he helped pull me out of.... I am so confused.... I know that if he didn't work from home or even if he did work from home but had a door he could shut that would minimize our fighting..... Idk this is long and im so sorry but atleast i got it off my chest.....
We have been together 3 years in september... and it just hurts to think of losing him. And like i said above he is my biggest supporter when it comes to work and understanding what i do for a living.
I know being single i dont want to date or anything but the thought of whenever i am ready and having to explain what i do and being rejected is a scary thought.... Just not being accepted by anyone. Because the good thing about him is, is he accepts me all of my flaws and all. And i love him for it... Torn......
Re: Single VS. Relationship while Camming
And one more thing about the fight when my mom was here... Another reason i was so trying to get through those days without us fighting is because even tho my mom doesn't really say it because i think she tried not to force her opinions on me. I know deep down she kind of thinks he's a dick. And i wanted to show her... no mom there is good things about him. But he had to go and start shit while my mom was here.... That is all i wanted... Was for it to be a complete fresh start with no fighting no nothing... But he couldnt do it.... I just don't get it.
My mom didn't say anything but i know it was uncomfortable for her. She's got enough going on in her life and i wanted this to be a good getaway for her... It was regardless but still.....