Re: Bachelor Party Question
I've been a bachelor party stripper for years and have never heard of that. The closest thing I've ever done is feed the kitty where a guy puts money on his body and I pick it up with either my legs (panties still on)or with my hands.
If someone is suggesting getting tested I suspect there is more going on that meets the eye. In all my years and hundreds of shows I've never done anything even borderline disease.
Re: Bachelor Party Question
First of all, your husband's brother sounds like he's trying to start shit. To not tell you the nature of the party he asked you to help plan, and to then say you need to get tested for STDs, is extremely manipulative. I wouldn't trust that guy at all.
Next, I will say that I've worked many bachelor parties similar to the one you describe. I've never done these kinds of lollipop tricks (sounds like a fast track to a yeast infection), but they do happen, and much worse. I can't tell you how many times I've seen husbands-to-be get handjobs or blowjobs or participate in much more hardcore "games" while their buddies and groomsmen egg them on or pay for the services outright. And then they can all just stand there and smile at the wedding and never say a thing. It astounds me.
From what I've seen a LOT of the time, the bachelor is just an excuse for his buddies to have a raucous party and hire strippers. A lot of the time, the bachelor is just kind of along for the ride, so to speak. But the stripper's job is ostensibly to show the bachelor what he's going to be missing. When I was hired for bachelor parties, it was my JOB to lavish most of my attention on the bachelor, whether he was into it or not. That's the whole point of a bachelor party. So what I'm saying is, it's possible that this stripper did the lollipop trick, and your husband wasn't really that into it, and they both did it out of obligation.
Of course, he could have been one of the grooms who wanted a handjob. I don't know. I wasn't there. And the only thing you really know is whether you trust your husband. Do you believe he is honest? Does he have a good track record? Is he devoted to you otherwise? Have you ever detected inconsistencies in his behavior? Do you feel in your gut that he is telling you the truth?
You aren't out of line or prudish for being upset. Your feelings are valid. I can't say whether the activity you describe is cheating or not. Personally, I wouldn't be upset or consider it cheating, but I have different life experiences and a different perspective than you. It might be good for you to talk to a counselor or clergy person or trusted friend to get some insight.
Also, for the record, the chances of you getting STDs from that lollipop trick are extremely slim.
Hope this helps.
Re: Bachelor Party Question
this is fun. you joined a forum for dancers to ask a question that is indirectly offensive? are you also wondering why that dancer didn't go to college and what is she planning on doing ten years from now because looks don't last forever?
we've been being trolled a lot lately.
Re: Bachelor Party Question
Wow Camille.... sounds like you have bigger issues than I.
Firstly, I'm sorry that you seem to think that a person that is not a stripper is somehow "trolling" your precious website. Believe it or not, I actually don't think negatively about strippers or even escorts, hookers, nude dancers, topless dancers, or anybody that is out doing whatever they can to support themselves and not sucking off the system.
Secondly, I don't have a college degree either, so.....::)
Thirdly, I don't think anyone knows what they will be doing in 10 years, or even what I'll be doing 10 years from now. It never crossed my mind to wonder what you would be doing in 10 years, not really any of my concern unless you end up sucking off the system and looking for handouts.
Forgetting that.... for the other two LADIES (and I do mean that). Thank you very much for your responses and insight. Believe it or not, it actually helps me to know what you women do in your work and what goes on at these bachelor parties, since I can imagine, I will never actually be attending one.
Unfortunately, I really can't believe anything my DH says, so no.... I guess I can't trust him. I don't believe there were HJ's or BJ's, just because of the other people that attended. I don't think there was any going off to private rooms in the house either. I was just so incredibly shocked about this lollipop thing. As a matter of fact, my brother who lives in Washington used to be a bouncer at strip clubs and also was a bouncer at private parties and he had never hears of this and his response was "wow, that's hardcore". So, I guess I wanted to know if this lollipop thing was a normal thing you all do, I just wanted to know if it was possible that my brother-in-law was telling the truth that she squatted over it and pretended she was doing it, but it never actually went in her va jay jay. While another one of the friends (who is now getting divorced) was the one who said I should get tested for vd.
I don't know. I guess I just don't see why these things can't just be more of an innocent fun and have to get so raunchy.
And YES Camille.... I'm not sure what part of my post you found offensive, but maybe it was the part where I said I felt kind of sorry for that girl having to do that (or at least feeling like she had to) to support herself. I do think it's a f***ed up world when we women have to do things that may not make us feel great about ourselves in order to survive. Honestly, I'm no different than all of you....:-X the only reason I didn't kick my DH out on the spot when I found out all these grim details is that I don't feel I can completely support myself at the moment. But.... it has given me a goal, to get back to being self-sufficient financially so I can get rid of him if I want.
I do appreciate your responses and thank you! (Camille, I hope this lifestyle doesn't end up making you more bitter as time goes on.):'(
Re: Bachelor Party Question
you aren't a customer. you aren't a current dancer. you aren't a former dancer. you aren't an aspiring dancer. you are married to someone who attended a bachelor party. you are hurt because your husband participated in a game at a bachelor party.
so you thought an internet forum for dancers would be the best place for you to...find a divorce lawyer?
scroll up and see that this is for dancers, former dancers, and aspiring dancers. nowhere does it say anything about wives of customers. this is absolutely absurd.
Re: Bachelor Party Question
lmaoooooooooooooooo. You gotta understand this is weird. no matter how much "respect" you say you have for sex workers this is weird.
Why not take it to your husband, if you can't trust him you have bigger issues then that bachelor party. Why not take it to a therpist? What was the point in telling us all these men are now getting divorces? And maybe the lollipop game is degrading to you but to her it's more money.
It's like finding out your husband cheated going to the mistress' job telling her you still respect her but you just need to know does she help men cheat often, what tricks does she do etc.
lmaoo, It's just weird, your husband did something you find hurtful, he's friends are also playing tricks with you and you come online to ask women (that weren't there) what happened and what should you do
P.S.- The whole i'm not really a prude, I've been to strip clubs before thing makes you seem (in my eyes) even more prudish. lol
Re: Bachelor Party Question
Lmaoooooooo sorry I just read the last paragraph about camille. Girl either your gonna leave or your gonna stay don't make excuses. I don't know how in one breath you can sound like you might wanna do sex work, then tell a stripper this world made her bitter.
Read around the board- most strippers don't like non-stripping women at the strip club now you signed up to the board.
And again how do you know the girl felt like crap playing that game? Maybe she had fun. It sound orginal, so I guess she came up with something to spice up her routine. It sounds like you want to feel sorry for her, and think she had no other choice so you can say its not her fault and blame the in-law for lying. SMH
Re: Bachelor Party Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wifeyso
Wow Camille.... sounds like you have bigger issues than I.
I felt kind of sorry for that girl having to do that (or at least feeling like she had to) to support herself. I do think it's a f***ed up world when we women have to do things that may not make us feel great about ourselves in order to survive. Honestly, I'm no different than all of you....:-X the only reason I didn't kick my DH out on the spot when I found out all these grim details is that I don't feel I can completely support myself at the moment.
I don't want to sound too harsh - I just got in from the club and have had a few drinks- but surely this is where you're wrong. You're very different from us. You look down your nose because of how we 'support ourselves' yet you can't even support yourself. You have no independence from your husband, whilst our industry gives us independence, a great income, flexibility and a chance to retire early.
While the 'lollipop' trick may be a step too far for me personally, I can see that some girls would be happy to do it. Just because a woman does something that is beyond your own boundaries, doesn't mean that you should feel sorry for them. That's like saying you look down all escorts, when plenty are a) independent and b) earning plenty, which by the sound of it is more than you have achieved. Your sympathy seems misplaced.
And to answer your question, I have never heard of the 'lollipop game' before. Nor do I think it amounts to cheating, personally. Guys egg each other on all the time to do stupid things. Yes, I would prefer my boyfriend not to engage in this sort of thing, but if he did, it's not the end of the world. Men + peer pressure + alcohol = stupid decisions. Cheating to me would be a physical or emotional relationship, at whatever level. Not a game. But the fact he didn't tell you about it would make me question what else he hasn't told you in this marriage. I really hope things turn out for the best.
Maybe if you opened your mind enough you could dance and earn enough to leave him. ::)
Re: Bachelor Party Question
There is all kinds of shows that go on at bachelor shows, i've seen 'worse' than the lollipop game. And 99% of the time the stripper is not interested in hooking up with the guys at the party, they're there to do their job and go home to most likely their own husband/boyfriend/significant other.
Re: Bachelor Party Question
I don't really think you should be comming on here and calling Camille bitter. That "crossed the line" for me. This is between you and your man.
Re: Bachelor Party Question
Re: Bachelor Party Question
*hugs* I can understand your concern, but from what I feel from your message, you are feeling desperate for answers, and you may just be looking for those answers in the wrong place. This situation is a trust issue between yourself and your man.
Extending your concern outward (to the stripper / concerns about strippers acts), instead of inward (into your relationship) won't do anything to help you.
Essentially, it has nothing to do with us, or anybody else, and it's up to YOU to decide your own personal boundaries, and how you and your partner define cheating. Everybody has their own boundaries; and everybody has their own personal definition of what they consider to be "degrading".
There are women who find the act of going out dressed in a provocative dress degrading. I perform explicit sexual acts on camera each night and don't find it the slightest bit degrading - we're all very different! ^_^ It is thus entirely unnecessary for you to extend pity towards this stripper for her act.
Something I cannot understand for the life of me, is why such an astonishing number of people blindly assume that if a stripper or sex worker is doing something unconventional, or not particularly to any given individuals taste, it becomes a matter of "O poor woman. She feels she has to do these things" - why does everybody jump to the conclusion that because she's a woman, because she's doing something "weird", that means she must not be enjoying it. Who knows? She might have a lollipop fetish!
All I'm saying is that nobody watches Jackass and comes away saying "O poor Johnny Knoxville! How degrading! He must be doing it for the cash. That poor man" But you get a cast of women on Jackass and there would be hoards of women expressing this terribly maudlin faux-sympathy. I am quite sure that, like men, most women have the psychological capacity to actually figure out for themselves what they want to do, whether it be stripping, dancing, setting fire to their farts for shits and giggles, or becoming a University lecturer.
It's actually more degrading to assume that any such woman going about her personal business requires sympathy. Rant over!
I do hope that you manage to resolve the issue with your partner, and get your relationship back on track. :) The best thing I could suggest to you would be to TALK to your partner. Sit down together, fix a cup of warm somethin'-somethin' and be civil with one another. Let one another speak. Me and my partner do this whenever something comes up - just let one another talk for as long as you or he wish, without interruption, and then switch, and then collaborate / compromise. It can really help. :)
Best of luck.
Re: Bachelor Party Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Incantatious
*hugs* I can understand your concern, but from what I feel from your message, you are feeling desperate for answers, and you may just be looking for those answers in the wrong place. This situation is a trust issue between yourself and your man.
Extending your concern outward (to the stripper / concerns about strippers acts), instead of inward (into your relationship) won't do anything to help you.
Essentially, it has nothing to do with us, or anybody else, and it's up to YOU to decide your own personal boundaries, and how you and your partner define cheating. .
^^^ Agreed
Re: Bachelor Party Question
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Re: Bachelor Party Question
Why did you spam this thread?
Re: Bachelor Party Question
OP:
Since you are desperately seeking solace in the arms of those you are so quick to pity, I will reciprocate. I feel bad that your 7th grade Physical Education teacher failed to explain the concept of sexually transmitted disease transmission. Sexually transmitted diseases are transmitted via mucous membranes (namely rectal, oral, and vaginal tissue), through blood/bodily fluid exchange, from mother to fetus, or via skin-to-skin contact. Genital Herpes (HSV-2) is transmitted when the genitalia of an infected person (even when asymptomatic) touches the genitalia of a non-infected person. HIV is transmitted via unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse, between mother and fetus, or when coming in contact with an infected person's blood or bodily fluids at a mucous membrane or open wound. Sexually transmitted diseases via oral sex (fellatio/cunnilingus) have a lower incidence of transmission (particularly with cunnilingus) and the risk of transmission increases when there are open wounds in the oral cavity.
In effect, the likelihood of someone catching an STD from holding a lollipop stick in their mouth while an exotic dancer penetrated her vagina with the lollipop is about as probable as you coming up with an effective rebuttal to this post.
Perhaps you should focus your creative energies on starting up an informative blog about the trials and tribulations of sex work so you can gain financial independence from your indiscriminate husband. Be sure to recruit some of us exotic dancers for collaboration so we can escape the clutches of our degradation. To help you get started, your first post should detail how Americans lack a solid ten year plan. I am overcome with anticipation to see how you can spin that one, because it clearly goes against the American standard! Notably so, I am the exception to your rule, as I am very confident about where I will be in ten years. Ironically enough, most of the people I know personally are the exception as well so perhaps we can offer insight or recommend a quality lifestyle coach.
"I don't pity any man who does hard work worth doing. I admire him. I pity the creature who does not work, at whichever end of the social scale he may regard himself as being." - Theodore Roosevelt