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Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Hi ladies,
I'm having a little dilema that I need to figure out pretty quick, like hours actually..god i hope you guys are on.
So i'm moving and I pretty much have the place, everything approved credit and background wise. I'm going tomorrow to drop off some paperwork and hopefully sign the lease. He asked for a bank statement since I don't have check stubs. The only thing he's asked about my job is where i work and i just picked the first random close city that popped into my head. So I'm going to bring in my payoneer statements. They do say the site name that i get paid from, and i am going to change that to their more discreet name they use when they bill customers, so it wont completely be a lie besides being the whole statement being fraudulent from me doctoring that in the first place. BUT ANYHOOOO....
I can show for however months back that i've consistently gotten paid bimonthly but the problem is the deposits fluctuate by the thousands. And how am I really going to explain earning 5-10gs a month. He's going to think i am lying and the numbers are doctored also.
So i don't know what to do. What kind of job can i say i work that fluctuates like that and pays that high monthly. I can explain the fluctuations by just saying its commission based i guess but what vanilla job pays like that? Should I just change the numbers to lower amounts?
I was thinking I would just say I do affiliate marketing for adult websites, I'm okay with saying that. But doesn't it sound like bullshit to think an affiliate marketer makes that much.
Since i already got the place, it's really not too dire. Worst comes to worst, I can just be honest and say what i do, but the thing is....he lives in the building. He's very social up to the point of its annoying (the reviews online about the place are almost as dramatic as here...since they can leave comments. they say he meddles in people's business a lot, does a lot of social building parties..watever...) As i was walking around the building he was stopping, talking a lot of tenants we passed, asked about their mother..lol.. like wtf. I just don't want him to know what I do. I don't want my neighbors to know what I do. I want to be treated and looked at like a normal person, not a stripper or a pornstar. I dont need my creepy landlord popping up to check my pipes randomly at night. You know, i just want to feel safe. So any suggestions?
Sorry for people tl:dr... i bolded
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
I used to work as a marketing rep selling campsite memberships. My commission could be nothing one month and a couple grand the next. Just an example.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
OMG girl! That looks like a total asshole...lol! I'm a total newbie in the subject and am not a camgirl (yet..perhaps) but I think that a marketer totally could do a good amount of money.
Just think of how much these sites make of the girls getting 70% of the earnings.. when u made 10k for example they made much much much more than that)
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
not sure about a marketer making 10k tho...
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Could you say that you work in estate sales, and so some months you're using items to showcase houses for realtors (putting furniture and stuff to make it look nice for prospective clients) and other times you're selling off the furniture and whatever else you come across during estate sales (in most cases, you'd be buying lots rather than individual pieces.) So that might explain the fluctuation because you'd get money from staging houses but not as much as selling off items all in one go before you stock up again.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
thank you guys for responding =)
I mean i don't know much about true earnings for people who do affiliate marketing full time. I dabbled here and there and made nothing haha but my efforts were the reason. So i know there's money in it but i don't wanna look like im bullshitting. I'm thinking fuck it, i'm going to give him the statement and just hope he doesn't ask. But if he does, i'm just going to say thats what i do and thats what i made. I mean, he's not going to call me out? Do you think so?! ahh i'm freaking out now haha. Worst possible scenario is he does call me out or question the numbers, ill log on to show him the numbers are correct. But then he'll see i changed the name of the company deposits, but ill explain that honestly and he'll either understand and we'll all live happily ever after except he'll know what i do and what website to see me, OR he'll possibly take back the verbal agreement and decide not to rent to someone who works in the adult industry or someone who lied. Fuck, this is getting more crazy. Am i just tripping? I hope he just looks at it and doesn't say anything. I hate these fucking web of lies we have to create just because of what other people think of us. I know i could just be like fuck it, if he doesnt wanna rent to me cuz of that, then i dont wanna rent to him... but this place is just so baller and i want it so bad.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FiendishGyrator
Could you say that you work in estate sales, and so some months you're using items to showcase houses for realtors (putting furniture and stuff to make it look nice for prospective clients) and other times you're selling off the furniture and whatever else you come across during estate sales (in most cases, you'd be buying lots rather than individual pieces.) So that might explain the fluctuation because you'd get money from staging houses but not as much as selling off items all in one go before you stock up again.
wow thats a good idea. I don't know how well i could pull that off though. I'm talking to a property manager who owns and manages a lot of real estate in our area. Meaning, he knows his shit...and i, do not LOL.
If I could sit there and say it how you did and act like i know what i'm talking about, i would. But it'd be much easier if it was just some regular joe-schmoe i was renting from. Im a good bullshitter, but I can't sit there and tell this man... with a straight face, that i do what he does (or similar too). LOL I can just imagine him asking me some real estate related questions and me just sitting there, yeah and like...i stage the houses so like...yeahh... =) flex tits? haha =X
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
well....hmmmm....
daytrading?
I don't think of estate sales like estate owning. Yeah, you'd be dealing with realtors, but it's a lot of gruntwork, travelling, and looking up what something is worth.
.....Could you tell him you sell for avon or a similar company? or make jewelry and specialize in wedding jewelry (if you don't think he's going to ask for your portfolio) so you can account for larger money amounts sometimes because you would have prepped and sent out x amount of wedding jewelry (for the bride, and bridesmaids, and hell-- metalsmithing cufflinks :)
Otherwise-- you know about websites-- so work the affiliate thing up, and then say you teach bloggers how to design better, and target their audience and work the affiliate system.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Currency trader. A friend of mine does this and makes a LOT, and it fluctuates hugely.
Any job working online is a good bet because it will also explain why you are home all the time, internet speeds etc (if he's really that nosy, I'll bet he'll ask at some point)...I'd go with anything online and commission based.
Hope you get it!
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
I do pleasure parties as well as camming and I have an affiliate sex toy site that pays well as long as you market it well. You could say you sell sex toys and market them online and some months you just don't put in as much effort as others. To sort of see what I mean, you can look up sextoyfun.com and even sign up for an affiliate store there for free just to give him a link if he asks or is interested or something. (obviously not trying to get you to sign up under me or anything, as i didn't post a link, just saying it's what I personally use.)
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
I used to work in retail sales on commission and post does fluctuate like that. You could say you sell things on ebay and if he asks for details tell him it's a competitive market and you don't want to give away your secrets. Out you could say you're an independent consultant for whatever you know well, I.e. makeup, or organization etc.
Legally I don't think they have to know. They just care that you make money consistently and will pay your rent.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Oooh, day trading is a good idea. I know a littttle bit about it. Will it make sense with the scheduled, bi-monthly deposits. Is that some what heard of in the day trading field? I can just say im with an online brokerage company. I'll just need to watch a little cnbc before i go. There's all that chaos with the occupy wallstreet though. I don't know enough about that, i guess i can study a bit before i go.
You guys are right though. Now i'm really thinking. i don't know why i was sitting there stressing out trying to squeeze that bull shit story out of a fake job that im not 100% comfortable with going in and say thats what i do. If i'm going in there saying a fake job, it can be whatever i want. Doesn't even need to be adult industry related. This is starting to be hilarious to me. Thank you for brainstorming with me. I like how we're getting so in depth when he most likely isnt even going to want the big of an explanation. If i have to sit there and explain this crazy ass story about me making jewelry, by the time i get to metalsmithing cufflinks i'm going to be on the floor dying of laughter listening to this bull shit story i'm telling just to hide my occupation LOL. That's a good idea though, i actually know someone who makes jewelry and sells it. She doesnt make much but hers is like shit macaroni necklaces but mine will be that bling bling. haha i dont know. I feel about better about this. I just need to stop being a pussy and go in there and say this is what i do and that's that.
LOL, ill definitely tell you what i go with and what happends
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
I don't think you'll get called out. Most people assume pretty much anything adult related is lucrative.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
i was thinking that too. we know since we're in it that being an adult worker doesnt automatically make you like jenna jameson rich, but the general population thinks xxx = $$$
Ill just say i build, design, and host websites. If he looks at me skeptically like web designers don't make that much, then ill say adult themed sites and leave it at that. If he tries to pry more it'll seem creepy and unprofessional on his behalf. I think he'll just shut up after i say that, don't really picture him asking, what sites, what pornstars, what niche, if i star in these porns..etc. okay.. i may go with this hmmmm
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
I think that's a good idea. If he asks for too much info just say you have customer confidentiality to uphold.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Internet marketing/internet sales and nothing more. In essence this is what we do anyways so you are NOT LYING!
The landlord will most likely not question, they merely want to see the money. If he does I would question him as a landlord.
Also,if you go to the ACCOUNT INFORMATION tab > VIEW transactions you can pull up all of your transactions, as well as do a search. To clear out all company names, I searched the atm description that it provides. Once you narrow down this search, it will clear out all other company names and show only the withdrawls you have made from your ATM. In order for this to work, though, you must withdrawl the money from the same ATM every time.
For example if you live on elm street and the description in your payoneer account in your withdrawls is *elmst then type in elmst and you can pull up all of the withdrawls from that specific ATM on elm street. You can then print this out and only show the funds you have personally withdrawled. This worked for me. Hope this helps and best of luck getting the place.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Say you are a consultant and marketer in the adult industry and that, although you are freelance, you are contracted with several companies so you receive a base pay as well as high commissions.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
I'd rather just say that you're a model. Makes a lot of sense, since you're not getting jobs all the time and you'd actually be able to pull that off. Regular models have websites with content, etc. too that they're selling, which would explain why you get paid from a site
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
affiliate marketing---all the way!
are you sure you want to live there though? this guy seems like an absolute nightmare. i am a really private person and i could never live with a landlord like this!
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Quote:
Originally Posted by
LAChloe
affiliate marketing---all the way!
are you sure you want to live there though? this guy seems like an absolute nightmare. i am a really private person and i could never live with a landlord like this!
I would kinda wonder about this too! I don't even like living in buildings with onsite managers most of the time because I just can't stand the idea of someone prying into my life...uuurrgh!
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ManyRoses
I would kinda wonder about this too! I don't even like living in buildings with onsite managers most of the time because I just can't stand the idea of someone prying into my life...uuurrgh!
oh yeah we got a maintenance man who wanders around here like 24 hours a day. seriously he is ALWAYS around. he is so creepy and always asks way too many questions...i always peak out the window before i leave so i can avoid talking to him. he gave me cupcakes before "he baked just for me and my boyfriend"..hes so fucking weird. we didn't eat them cuz he probably came in them or something lol.
anyway about the topic...if you don't know if affiliate marketers can make that much or not trust me he doesn't know either....
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Successful affiliate marketers make that much and a lot more. I own an affiliate marketing business site I use to get approved for affiliate companies. If you would like, I can change the contact info to your old address and phone number and you can "show" him your business site to back up your claim. PM me if you are interested.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Quote:
Originally Posted by
crystalize
I'd rather just say that you're a model. Makes a lot of sense, since you're not getting jobs all the time and you'd actually be able to pull that off. Regular models have websites with content, etc. too that they're selling, which would explain why you get paid from a site
Technically that would work since the correct term for cam girl is nude model
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
I thought about saying model, but that's not the image i wanna portray to him neither. I want to be looked at as a young, professional, business woman. I might have to end up saying that though.
OKAY so this is what happened. I went there, after like 1 hour of sleep. I walk in the office and his secretary said he just stepped out but i can take your paperwork for him. So i'm likee yessssssssssss. Then he just called a few minutes ago and said i got all the paperwork, applications everything went through, cleared. These other statements you brought though, i'm not sure, are you sure you don't have check stubs? These just show deposits, even though they're bimonthly. We just for legal reasons might need more verification to see like the fica taxes, social security, blah blah... And i wanted to be like, I'm an independent contractor and not an employee so all that isn't really applicable. But i didn't want him to ask me for my tax reports, cuz thats all fucked and im in the process of fixing that now. But he was just like, we'll see if these will work, if not we might need something else, ill let you know monday then you can come in and sign the lease. And i was just tired from the day and wasn't even expecting that conversation so i didnt bother to explain the bank statement situation and now i kinda wish i explained it over the phone so in case he says they don't work, i wont have to explain all that later. i just pray that they work. hahaha
and yeah he seems annoying and a lil creepola. i know he's being lenient on me (my credit is not that great and i just kind of look young and irresponsible) because of what i look like. When i first got to his office he was on the phone talking regularly, and as soon as he started talking to me he started to talk like...how you talk to children. Hiiiiii, how are youuuu? Well we're just gonna take good care of you here! Like trying to come off as non threatening as possible. So i knew as soon as soon as he started the baby talk, i'm good to go. Im a verrrry private person though and very concerned about feeling safe. I am not going to pay that high of a rent to live somewhere where i feel vulnerable. If he gets creepier when i do move in, i have no problem in telling him to fuck off and stop sexually harassing his tenants.
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Re: Fake real jobs with fluctuating high pay for proof of income
Why not just tell him you do affiliate marketing? Unless he's in the business himself, he wouldn't know how much $ is "normal" to make from that.
Or....you could tell him you do phone sex and you're really good at it. It's not as big of an invitation to sexually harass you as camming would be - the difference being that in one situation, you're naked and masturbating for strangers on a daily basis and in the other one, you're fully clothed and just using your voice and imagination. Besides, phone sex is more socially accepted than camming and has a lesser stigma, so if he keeps pressing on about what you do, you could say that.
OR: if you want to portray the image of a young professional, why not say you OWN your own 1-800 number and have a few girls working for you? That way, you look like a junior entrepreneur and show that you can accomplish a lot, despite your young age.