Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Ouch. Sounds like it's an addiction for him. Red flag.
But there is a difference between a guy who makes 500k a yr spending 500/month on camgirls, vs. a guy who makes 30k and can barely scrape together rent spending that much.
Know what I mean?
Which camp does he fall into?
Either way... Major red flag... And the $$ is obviously not the biggest issue.... :(
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
If a partner was cheating with me I would most likely show them the door. It may not be physical cheating but definitely cheating emotionally, if that makes sense.
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PrincessJenny
If a partner was cheating with me I would most likely show them the door. It may not be physical cheating but definitely cheating emotionally, if that makes sense.
I agree totally.
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
I agree with princess Jenny. Sure the cam girl doesn't feel like she's in a relationship, but we all know how customers can be. If you're guy is showing more emotional and financial attention to a stranger on the internet than his RL girlfriend, you need to get with someone who wants YOU.
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
id be so disgusted and hurt id peace the eff out I mean viewing free tube sites here and there is cool but his actions are crossing the line
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
I'd leave him, that's foul. I don't consider guys spending on camgirls cheating, until it turns excessive, or you're going beyond the point of just spending a few bucks, jacking off, and leaving. It sounds like he's getting a little too involved. Your situation is even worse IMO because you're a camgirl, and he's doing it with camgirls on your site. These are your peers/competition/co-workers which makes them a little more real. He did research for you, so maybe he just got a little carried away. Camgirls are addicting. You talked to him about it once, it should be the end of it. I think if you catch him doing it again leave him, if you haven't already.
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
I wouldnt have a problem with my bf having fun on cam sites unless there was one girl in particular that he was spending alot of time with. If it was just having a wank in the occasional gold show it wouldnt be a big deal to me.
What would be a big deal is if I asked him several times to stop (as you mentioned) and he keeps doing it. If he cant stop doing something that is hurting your feelings then that shows a lack of character.
It's not like you're asking him for a kidney lol
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
It does sound like he is a little too involved in this. Like Jessica, I would like to know whether the money that he is spending is a large or a small amount relevant to what he earns.
The biggest issue here for me isn't the amount of money that he spends, or the fact that he is building a "relationship" with some girls, but the fact that he is sneaking around, taking extra time to do this, and (presumably) lying to you to do this. Its also a big red flag to me that you looked through his internet history, bank accounts, paypal accounts etc, rather than confronting him initially. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me on either side, honestly.
My guy loves watching camgirls (and when I started, he was really useful!!) and we've spoken about it a couple times. As a general rule, as long as he is not spending money that he would usually spend on me, us or our future, and as long as we are both happy with the amount of time and sex that we are having together, then I don't care! I think that that is reasonable.
I don't think that camming is cheating, in any way. I do think that lying, snopping around, and saying that you will stop doing something and then NOT stopping are problems, and problems that really need to be addressed.
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
I'd lose complete trust in my guy if he was hiding anything from me...you're talking covert cam sessions, secret bank account, wtf? I kinda getcha on the cheating thing, I mean, I'd be uncomfortable if my guy was spending alot of time surfing camsites (helllo, he has one at home!!!) but what you're describing is a little bit more significant than that...he's sneaking around like a f$%king child. A partner who hides ish and sneaks around is showing you who he really is, it's really not about the particulars.
If I were you, unless I had a loooong-and good-history with the guy and this was an abberant behaviour he was willing to openly and honestly discuss, I'd bounce. His behaviour is pathetic and it's a HUGE red flag on his character.
Lies are like cockroaches, there's never just one:-\
I'm really sorry this happened to you, I'd be devastated if I found out that I was in love with a douchebag.
hugs
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ManyRoses
It does sound like he is a little too involved in this. Like Jessica, I would like to know whether the money that he is spending is a large or a small amount relevant to what he earns.
The biggest issue here for me isn't the amount of money that he spends, or the fact that he is building a "relationship" with some girls, but the fact that he is sneaking around, taking extra time to do this, and (presumably) lying to you to do this. Its also a big red flag to me that you looked through his internet history, bank accounts, paypal accounts etc, rather than confronting him initially. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me on either side, honestly.
My guy loves watching camgirls (and when I started, he was really useful!!) and we've spoken about it a couple times. As a general rule, as long as he is not spending money that he would usually spend on me, us or our future, and as long as we are both happy with the amount of time and sex that we are having together, then I don't care! I think that that is reasonable.
I don't think that camming is cheating, in any way. I do think that lying, snopping around, and saying that you will stop doing something and then NOT stopping are problems, and problems that really need to be addressed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
xfatrabbitx
I'd leave him, that's foul. I don't consider guys spending on camgirls cheating, until it turns excessive, or you're going beyond the point of just spending a few bucks, jacking off, and leaving. It sounds like he's getting a little too involved. Your situation is even worse IMO because you're a camgirl, and he's doing it with camgirls on your site. These are your peers/competition/co-workers which makes them a little more real. He did research for you, so maybe he just got a little carried away. Camgirls are addicting. You talked to him about it once, it should be the end of it. I think if you catch him doing it again leave him, if you haven't already.
I left him a while ago!! I was initially very trusting, but I started catching him in little lies, which eventually led to me telling him to give me all his bank info etc etc. It got to the point where I layed it out and said "i know this relationship is a joke to you, but please for my sanity, let me see what you've been doing behind my back" and that's when he gave me his passwords/showed me the account that was linked to the camsite.
I just wanted to know if you girls would feel the same way, doing what we do and all. He tried to say it's "just porn" or "normal" but I think it went beyond that when he kept lying...
Thank you for your input ladies!! Glad to see I'm not the only person who still has feelings left!
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Honestly, I'm not surprised. I bet many girls' boyfriends/husbands do this and they have NO idea about it! Half my customers tell me they are sneaking around their girlfriends/wives. I don't feel bad about it, because they aren't cheating (in my opinion) and I am just providing a service.
Personally I'd have no problem with my boyfriend/husband watching porn or spending $$ on cam girls unless he was spending too much & couldn't really afford it. But I think I would have a problem with him lying to me or hiding things from me.
If you are uncomfortable with it, I would leave him right away. He's obviously broken your trust.
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Well I think I said a while back that I felt camming was a form of cheating. Generally these guys will spend alot of time with cam models daily, weekly etc. So yes I feel that many guys are doing this behind their SO's back. You even get the married men asking to meet wondering what the fuck for? A few guys have told me about their wives which repulses me. Also some talk about their gf is xxxx model on xxxx cam site. I typically ban or block them from my room just on principal alone. They got a cam model at home and think they can just find a another so easily. Not so different from the guy that gets his dream stripper only to end up at different clubs to recreate his beginner's luck.
My view is that if you're not in a polyamourous relationship. I may have not gotten that term correct but if it's not openly discussed that you'll be spending money on other women then wtf? I feel if your are providing for you at home stripper, cam model, escort to the point where she doesn't even need to work then fine. However what I've noticed is that these men end up spending more on these "other" women in the industry.
The difference between camming and porn is that porn is just observation. You don't interact with the characters in the story but more so fantasize that you are apart of the story. Camming generally is direct interaction with a model. As we know many guys will sit in free chat for hours trying to get to know you in hopes that some day they can have you.
To me if I'm with someone he shouldn't be spending a damn dime an anyone else but me. If he has money for another cam model then you have vagina for another man. He could have easily taken his ass to a free porn tube site where he pays nothing to watch dozens of videos. However he wanted to "connect" with someone and spend YOUR money to do it. Sorry that's cheating to me.
I mean I don't think anyone would feel great to know their husband or bf was spending money on me yet they were posting how they aren't making any money and struggling in another thread. Really now.
He's hiding it because he knows it's shitty, but I bet he'll use the "Well you cam" defense as if it's something you do because you just enjoy showing off your body. If that was the case why would you even care about getting paid?
This may be your time to really enjoy your shows and run off into the sunset with a cam customer lol. Also don't be surprised if he's camming with someone he thinks is "local".
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Why is he wasting his money on other women if he is supposed to be in a relationship with you? Ditch him
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Everyone has their own comfort levels - you have to decide yours - I would not have a problem with a bf watching a cam show/going to a strip club spending a little money - my line would be 1) lying and hiding it from me 2) making it personel by emailing /phone calls or anything of that nature 3) frequency/amt of money spent ,as someone else said depends on how much he is spending opposed to his financial situation
It does matter what anyone else thinks , if you are not comfortable with the situation , then it is a problem
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend was sneaking around on you. :(
Another thing...what the hell is he doing sending money via PayPal? I wonder if he's one of THOSE guys who likes to rip off cam girls.
He just doesn't sound like a winner to me...sorry to hear. You can do so much better, sweetie. *HUGS*
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
karmenkross
I left him a while ago!! I was initially very trusting, but I started catching him in little lies, which eventually led to me telling him to give me all his bank info etc etc. It got to the point where I layed it out and said "i know this relationship is a joke to you, but please for my sanity, let me see what you've been doing behind my back" and that's when he gave me his passwords/showed me the account that was linked to the camsite.
I just wanted to know if you girls would feel the same way, doing what we do and all. He tried to say it's "just porn" or "normal" but I think it went beyond that when he kept lying...
Thank you for your input ladies!! Glad to see I'm not the only person who still has feelings left!
Glad to hear that you left him!!! Hope you find someone much better!
As for the question of whether being in the industry affects whether or not we consider it cheating, I don't think it does. I think that girls in the industry have the same range of views on it that girls outside of the industry do!!
I'm actually really interesting to read the responses here, and to see just how wide the range of opinions are! Not intending to threadjack, but I would be interested to see how you girls would feel if the situation were a little different.
For those who said that the OP's ex's behaviour WAS cheating, would you consider this situation to be cheating as well? Say that there are two people in a happy relationship - lots of time and attention, having a good sex life, both very happy. The girl knows that her boyfriend likes to watch porn on his own from time to time, and the type of porn he prefers is to watch camgirls, as he likes the interaction. He is paying, but it is not affecting their financial situation at all. He has some "favorites" but doesn't focus exclusively on one girl, and does not interact with them outside of the camsites (no phone calls, external e-mails etc etc).
Would you guys still consider this to be cheating??
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
I wouldnt mind if my guy was watching porn. Matter of fact, I'd watch it with him. I'd probably be ok with him getting a gold show. My thing is, I'm possessive so any one on one time with another girl is gonna make me upset/jealous. The reason is he's actually interacting with her and spending money on her that he should be spending on me. If he's acting anything like the customers I get everyday, I don't think I could handle that. I feel kinda like a hypocrite because I am a cam girl, and I'm sure plenty of my custies have girlfriends or wives (which I don't respect). I just don't know what I'd do if my guy did it to me.
Re: Cheating and Camshows...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
karmenkross
Howdy,
I am very curious about this topic, as it did happen to me, and I would like to know your guys' opinions! \
My Question:
If your husband or serious boyfriend did this to you; what would you do? I find it a little difficult to get past it, as camming is like putting salt in my wounds. I need some support, ladies! :'(
My personal rule is: porn OK, *interactive* porn is not. Sorry but that's a form of cheating. I'm getting paid well to do this...he is paying FOR it. Just sad.