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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
My mom figured it out on her own....and then she asked "Do you want me to give you some of mommy's old lingerie?" lol wtf. Then she gave me two DVD's "Diary of a call girl." She thinks I can learn from the show.... -Thanks mom lol. I guess it really depends on how open minded your family is, I would never tell the men in my family....the women are a different story since they find camming interesting.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
I just told my parents I found a part time customer support/data entry job that I can do from home.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
yeah then my dad called this morning sounding overly depressed nd down in the dumps about it saying that i dont need to do that (so apparently I can just have them halfway support me and my child???) and i need to stop and wont be able to get any other regular job after this and THENNN he pulled the child card (I have an 18 month old) saying that I was putting my child and myself in danger...I almost went the fuck off...
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
msmochaxx
yeah then my dad called this morning sounding overly depressed nd down in the dumps about it saying that i dont need to do that (so apparently I can just have them halfway support me and my child???) and i need to stop and wont be able to get any other regular job after this and THENNN he pulled the child card (I have an 18 month old) saying that I was putting my child and myself in danger...I almost went the fuck off...
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I know it hurts when your family is not supportive but try not to let it get to you. No one else is helping you and your baby survive so they have no say in what you do to earn your money. Stay focused on getting ahead and don't let the negativity bring you down. We can't control how others feel about us , we can only control the way we feel about ourselves.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Agreed with Stacey. Honestly, don't let them take you down. It's you and your child, remember that. If I was your child, I'd feel proud my mom can stand on her own feet and support me without owing anything to anyone.
*Hugs* Don't feel down, girl!
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
It's so cool that so many of us have told our families! I really didn't expect it to be that many of us!
My parents have always been pretty religious. I grew up a block away from a missionary base, we went to church all the time and I was raised in Christian School. I have NO IDEA why I thought it would be a good idea to tell them. I didn't even walk in there w/any apprehension. I was all, "La la laaa, mom, look at my portfolio! Isn't this cool?" What the fuck was I smoking?!
When I told them everyone in my family blew my shit up. They were all like a)why the fuck would you do that and b)why the fuck did you think it would be acceptable to tell your parents?!
It was like, THE big scandal for a long time. There are still members of my extended family who do not speak to me and it was a big source of drama and tension until my maternal Grandma died that I absolutely couldn't tell her since it would "kill her". Like, I had to have supervised visits w/her and everything. They didn't trust me to be alone w/her. She never noticed, but I did.
My parents and my siblings? Got over it. It took them a year, which was a very uncomfortable year full of teary phone calls, nasty emails and books given to me with titles like, "Jesus Christ, life coach" and "God Will Make a Way" but I was patient and firm and stood behind my beliefs. They came over to my side. There was an incident with an exboyfriend that really helped (oddly enough). Now they understand more about me and my job and what it's like. They know that I'm safe, I'm motivated and they see how it's more of a career than something that desperate, degenerate people do. LOL, my sisters have even bought copies of some magazines I'm in and routinely ask me about stuff that's happened on cam. In fact, my second youngest sister and I have dinner every Tuesday and tonight I read her some of the funnier bits of the "Cam Fails" forum thread.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
msmochaxx
yeah then my dad called this morning sounding overly depressed nd down in the dumps about it saying that i dont need to do that (so apparently I can just have them halfway support me and my child???) and i need to stop and wont be able to get any other regular job after this and THENNN he pulled the child card (I have an 18 month old) saying that I was putting my child and myself in danger...I almost went the fuck off...
Honestly, I think it's sometimes perfectly acceptable to go off on your parents. Sometimes the only time a person will stop and think about their preconceived notions and position (made up from nothing but prejudices) is to be put on the defensive. A nude model I know said, "It's not me disappointing them, it's them disappointing me" and Dan Savage always says "If they want you in their lives they need to accept you".
This is not your shame, this doesn't mean anything about you. Are you not the same loving, beautiful person they've always known? Is anything different about you now? Nothing has changed, you're not revealing some degeneracy or a flaw in their raising you, you're a good person doing what you want to do.
Perhaps if he's scared of the "danger" you're in you can show him how it's perfectly safe. Maybe show him the guy's side of the interface, show him how nobody can get your personal information unless you give it to them. Tell him you have a stage name, all that happy horseshit.
ETA: Sometimes all a person needs to come over to your side is slow, subtle, constant pressure and time. If you demonstrate over time that there's nothing different about you and are sweetness and light, refuting their arguments when they sark at you they will likely come around. Like my own modeling and my tattoo. In the course of a year went from "only degenerates do that" to "well okay, you're my kid, still the same as always. Maybe it's okay"
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kalypso
My mom knows. I used to escort and experienced a shit ton of trauma because of it. Now that I'm somewhat safe, I thought she'd be relieved but she's not. She says she's not judging me but she's disappointed that I'm not using my brain which of course is BS. She had no problem with the other mind numbing work I've done. Flipping burgers, taking phone calls, don't exactly require me to use my brain much. I'm pretty sure that like most people, she's just put off by the stigma. Oh well. I refuse to deal with the bullshit from regular jobs AND take a pay cut.
yeah, my mom got on my case about stripping saying "this just isn't a springboard for something BIGGER!" She had no problem with me doing retail or even being a cook... neither of those things required any brainpower or would lead to a higher paying more prestigious job though!
she also used to get on my case about how degrading it was. Well, I'd rather be degraded for 2500$/week than degraded for 350$/week.
she actually tried to convince me to go to school to start doing nails the last time she came to visit me. No thanks. It's funny how they have no problem with horribly degrading work - until it's sex work (where I don't feel degraded at all :D)
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
I'm really sorry you are going through all of that. I've only told a few people. A couple of friends and my boyfriend and roommate. I've sort of hinted at it to my mom a few times and she blew up. "Don't even joke about doing that!" and things like that. Which I find ridiculous because I was out of work for over a year before I started doing this. I'm not surprised though. I grew up in a extremely religious typical southern baptist family. My dad is a ex-minister and both of my parents are very conservative. Although they've gotten better over the years. I hope that eventually I'll be able to tell them, I just don't think I can right now. I hope things get better for you though, you have more balls than I do!
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
I kind of hinted around being a phone sex operator to my dad on the phone and he was suprisingly open minded about it. My dad is way more open minded than my mom and step-dad. I told him I was thinking of camming non-nude just to get his reaction and he was kinda apprehensive at first but I couldn't bring myself to tell him I'm doing nude camming and phone sex. So right now he thinks I'm more of a phone sex operator which isn't a complete lie, but I haven't said anything else. He said I shouldn't tell my mom because she is extremely religious and conservative and so is my judgmental step-dad. My mom and I don't talk that often since we had a falling out when I stayed with her for a little while. We always argue. It's like talking to a brick wall with her. I know my step-dad would call me all kinds of derogatory names if he knew. So I just keep my mouth shut when I do talk to them. She is always nagging me constantly about am I looking for a job or do I have a job. I tell her I'm still looking and there aren't any good jobs out there because we live in a country ass hick town and I have a guy friend to help me. That usually shuts her up. As far as she knows I'm unemployed. Some people can't think outside the box. They think the only way to make money is with a 9-5 minimum wage job. I've been in the military for 7 years and already finished college and looked for regular jobs and jobs in my field and couldn't find anything. I don't tell other people anything about what I do because I feel like its none of their business. They run their mouth too much for me. I'll just let them find out on their own. I'm a grown ass educated woman with no kids so I feel like I don't owe anybody an explanation. I'm sure shit will hit the fan when my mom and step-dad find out. They can't do shit about it so they might as well accept it. They should be happy I'm not asking for money anymore. I'm an artist so I pretty much just focus on my artwork projects and camming.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
I don't live with my parents anymore, and they don't know what I do for a living, they only know I'm independent.
I din't tell them cause I don't feel like it (they don't even know how to use a computer, and even not all internet addicted people know how camming is and could be, I don't feel like explaining them about it, maybe one day who knows)
They are both not judgemental persons at all, I'm just discreet I guess, I'ts a my thing.
My dad is also pro adult work. If I'm happy with my choices they are happy as well.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
i can't imagine telling them, i would be disowned or sent to the shrink lol. my family already thinks i'm crazy, this would just would be creme, i guess eXXXtra cream on top of it. so my sister just walked into my room to get the AC control and i had my pants down and she was like uuuhhhh why the fuck are your pants down, i think she may have seen MFC from the angle she was at because she told me don't talk to me right now i do not feel comfortable around you after what i saw ><
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
msmochaxx
yeah then my dad called this morning sounding overly depressed nd down in the dumps about it saying that i dont need to do that (so apparently I can just have them halfway support me and my child???) and i need to stop and wont be able to get any other regular job after this and THENNN he pulled the child card (I have an 18 month old) saying that I was putting my child and myself in danger...I almost went the fuck off...
Oh please. You know what puts yourself and your child in danger??? Not being able to pay your bills or being homeless. Or working a 40 hr per week job for shit pay so that you can turn around and pay someone else to raise your baby for you while you work your ass off!!!
I hate when I hear this how it's somehow a danger to the kids to do camming. What the fuck ever. I'm in my bedroom after they are asleep with the door closed and locked. Daddy is here to get them if they wake up. Mommy gets to be home all day long and they love it. Fuck anyone who pulls the "child in danger" bullshit!!!
Sorry you are having to deal with this. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you need/WANT to do!
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
IF SOMEONE IS NOT FUCKING FINANCING AND FEEDING YOU......
nuff said ~
"Twinkle Twinkle Baby Twinkle Twinkle"
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
I told My Dad first he was so cool with it like as long as your happy and hes a Supervisor at one of the biggest train yards and hes like you make more than my guys and you only work part time. I was relieved I always talk to my dad about work we joke and everything. My Mom on the other hand is Crazy and when I told her she acted cool to my face then she was telling people all kinds a crazy sh*t about me, I just wiped her off as another hater lol. Smile Girls be proud of what you do we make people feel good!
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
both my parents know and they dont aprove but we dont talk much about it, I dont give them details of what I do.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
My mom knows. I didn't tell her though. She had one of her friends look me up on facebook and found out. My mom acts cool about it. We never discuss details. Recently though she is like "I want to do phone sex..." Yeah sorry mum not helping you out on that one! My dad likes porn so I would not be surprised if he ever found me on one of the chat sites.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
I try not to live my life based on fear of judgement from others. My mom doesn't know, but even if she did, she wouldn't care. She was talking about becoming a stripper a few years ago anyhow! lol I consider it personal and tell only who I was to share it with.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Also, my ex best friend outed me to all our mutual friends and all I said about it was "and?". There response was something like "you are very sexy so I bet you're good at it. Makes sense." And that was that=)
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
My mom knows. We've always had a really open, TMI, blurred-boundary relationship so it was no big deal. Nothing shocks her anymore. It's like a game we play. I tell her outrageous things and she pretends she's not amused. Every once in a while she'll say, "Uh, I really don't need to hear things like that." My grandparents (who raised me til I was 7 and I'm really close to) suspect something but they just don't ask. They know I work from home and on the computer.
Over Christmas, my religious, southern Baptist great-aunt came to visit. We were at my mother-in-law's house for Christmas dinner (my in-laws don't know what I do) and my aunt starts asking me what I do for work. I was in a room full of people, all know different versions of the truth and I can't remember what I've said to who. And my aunt is grilling me. If I hadn't been in front of my in-laws I would have told her I do affiliate marketing for porn sites just to make her uncomfortable. But my husband would've been pissed if I said something like that in front of his mom.
Am I the only one who tells random people what they do? Sometimes I'll tell my hairdresser or the girl helping me at the sex toy store just to see their reaction cuz I think it's funny. It would be different if I lived in a small town though.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
That sucks Mocha. Bear in mind that your dad may be feeling like he has done something wrong, or that he has "fucked up", and that is why he is reacting this way.
Sadly, it is commonly accepted that if you work in the adult industry, you must be "damaged" and probably have Daddy issues. Its often (incorrectly) assumed that if you have a daughter who goes into the industry, you are a bad parent, a bad father, and you fucked up at the most important job that you had - raising your child well. I can imagine that lots of dads don't want to tell people that their daughters are in the adult industry because they are afraid that they will be judged for it - that it reflects badly on them, and that people will agree with them that they did something wrong, that this is a bad thing and it is "their fault".
It doesn't excuse your father's behaviour, but it is just a perspective that I would like to add to the discussion, and maybe something to bear in mind when you are talking to him. Have a conversation to reassure him that this is not a bad thing or a last resort, and that he is a good dad and you love him, and its not "his fault", its not something that he "did wrong". Instead explain to him that there are many, many women who have wonderful, loving, successful lives in the industry, that are not fucked up or drug addicts, and that this is a legitimate career, rather than you scraping the bottom of the barrel. I'm guessing that if he is in your life, he loves you, and just wants to see his little girl be happy and fulfilled.
I really really hope that you guys can work this out and he can support you! xxx
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
my mom knows, hell she used to work for a place like the bunny ranch years and years ago and she thinks it's great that I make good money and am happy! Back then I knew what she did and hated it! Never thought in a million years I'd be doing sex work, but here I am and it's really been one of the most liberating decisions I've ever made...dad on the other hand has his suspicions but I've never come out and told him...he's uh...the opposite of mom
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
I know I'm a good mother thats not the issue. I know that the only reason i cam is so I can have money to start a college fund for my son, move into a bigger, better, NOT government run apartment...for my son, buy my son new&cute clothes, and take him to chuckie cheese and basketball games at the drop of a hat. My parents help me a lot financially when I come up short on my bills but I dont ask them for a dime unless I absolutely need it because I feel like since I'm a 20 year old mother I should be able to stand on my own two feet. I feel ashamed of myself when I ask anybody for financial help. Before I started camming I was going to the food bank every month, and living off of $930 a MONTH...$400 of that going towards a car payment.
I'm just rambling now lol but basically what im saying is they'll get over it...
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BlakeDahlia
Am I the only one who tells random people what they do?
I told the sexy guy who did both of my tattoos...lmao! :D He thought it's sooo cool, and he said he recently tatted a girl who said she's a cam girl.
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Re: If your parents know youre a camgirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ManyRoses
That sucks Mocha. Bear in mind that your dad may be feeling like he has done something wrong, or that he has "fucked up", and that is why he is reacting this way.
Sadly, it is commonly accepted that if you work in the adult industry, you must be "damaged" and probably have Daddy issues. Its often (incorrectly) assumed that if you have a daughter who goes into the industry, you are a bad parent, a bad father, and you fucked up at the most important job that you had - raising your child well. I can imagine that lots of dads don't want to tell people that their daughters are in the adult industry because they are afraid that they will be judged for it - that it reflects badly on them, and that people will agree with them that they did something wrong, that this is a bad thing and it is "their fault".
It doesn't excuse your father's behaviour, but it is just a perspective that I would like to add to the discussion, and maybe something to bear in mind when you are talking to him. Have a conversation to reassure him that this is not a bad thing or a last resort, and that he is a good dad and you love him, and its not "his fault", its not something that he "did wrong". Instead explain to him that there are many, many women who have wonderful, loving, successful lives in the industry, that are not fucked up or drug addicts, and that this is a legitimate career, rather than you scraping the bottom of the barrel. I'm guessing that if he is in your life, he loves you, and just wants to see his little girl be happy and fulfilled.
I really really hope that you guys can work this out and he can support you! xxx
I didnt expect him to be proud or even accepting of it but dont talk down to me. You can have your own opinion, you can ask whatever questions you have but dont be condescending towards me and dont talk to me any differently than before you knew what i did.