Re: Afraid of being caught?
Have you talked to him about dancing? Plenty of strippers have boyfriends. If he really isn't willing to support you, then you should probably decide what's more important to you, making money from dancing or being with him. It's not fair to start dancing and keep it a secret from him.
I'm sure you can make a living as a waitress... they don't make as much money as dancers, but at least you could see what a SC is like and see how your boyfriend feels about it.
Re: Afraid of being caught?
Do not hide this from your boyfriend; trust must be the #1 thing in a relationship and it seems you are not trusting him enough. Also, whatever you do to make a living (as long as is legal) is none of his business. If you wanna try out dancing in a club, do it.
Re: Afraid of being caught?
I dont think hed go for it he didnt like me camming so I stoped, but im in a money crunch and started doing it again while hes gone. I think I could make much more dancing though and really need the money. Id rather be with him but I HAVE to get money soon some how :/
Re: Afraid of being caught?
Don't even try to hide it from your boyfriend. Word will eventually get around.
Re: Afraid of being caught?
You really would be asking for trouble if you tried to strip behind your boyfriend's back while dancing near a military base. It only takes one to recognize you, and then it's no longer your decision to make re: boyfriend or stripping. Though like other ladies have mentioned, it is certainly possible to have a boyfriend who is okay with it, so you never know until you bring it up.
Re: Afraid of being caught?
My fiance is in the military (army) and I have dated other military men (Marines and Air Force) before. My Step Dad was a Navy Seal and we lived on base in California and Florida when I was younger. Dating a stripper doesn't really go along with the military's "uniform code of conduct", and while I don't think they would be given disciplinary action (because it is not illegal), it could certainly put them on the radar with their CO's (commanding officers) as trouble makers. Status, appearance, duty, and honor are everything in the military. Also, if you intend to live on base once you are married the gossip could make your life really unbearable because military bases can be very cliquey and the wives are catty.
With that being said, it is OK to dance and date someone from any profession, military or otherwise. I'm just advising you on the right and wrong way to go about this if you care about your boyfriend's military career (which I'm sure he does). You should exercise an extreme amount of discretion, and because there is a strong likelihood that someone might recognize you close to base you may need to travel farther away (think an hour or two) to ensure this doesn't happen. Once you are stripping and you are still relatively close (driving distance) to the military base take extra precautions to alter your appearance so that you are less recognizable. Wearing a wig or glasses and colored contacts may help. Once you start stripping do NOT tell anyone (this includes other strippers, staff, customers) that you are dating someone in the military, don't tell anyone that you live near base. Point them in the opposite direction, say you live somewhere the opposite direction of the base. Even if some of the strippers in the club are dating military men (high possibility) do not admit that you are too because they may recognize you down the road AND you don't know if they are dating one of your boyfriend's superiors (i.e. someone with a higher rank, an NCO-non-commissioned officer). Integrity, fidelity, and family are important core values in the military lifestyle so stripping is generally viewed as negative in those aspects by the military as a whole. Gossip in the military is just as prevalent as high school and strip clubs.
Lastly, make sure your boyfriend is OK with you stripping. He might not be OK with it and it may be for a legitimate reason like someone recognizing you and it tarnishing his reputation. Just because he doesn't have it noted in his file doesn't mean it won't follow him, he might be known as a party boy or a "push over" for letting "his woman" do such a thing--which could hurt his chances for becoming an NCO or being given leadership opportunities. If he's not OK with you stripping for those reasons or because he doesn't like the idea then you have to decide what is most important. Is this man marriage material? The military offers great benefits and on base housing with a basic housing allowance, food stipend, access to the commissary, loans from the VA, life insurance, child care assistance, and a network of like minded people all living together in a close-knit community. If he does not want you stripping and you decide not to then be sure he can provide you with a suitable alternative, that doesn't mean you have to get married tomorrow, but he should be seriously talking about the idea if you have no other reasonable means of supporting yourself now.
Military life is not for everyone, but it does come with it's own benefits and drawbacks like everything else.
I hope this helps!
-Laurisa
Re: Afraid of being caught?
If you have to hide it from your bf either you're with the wrong guy or the job isn't for you in the first place. One or the other. Either have the respect your relationship (and he) deserve or don't do it at all. On that same note, he should respect you and trust you enough to not have a problem with you dancing. But to try and hide it from him will just be disaster. Someone always finds out, and the consequences of that betrayal are not worth it.
ETA: If you're willing to waitress, why not just go waitress in a regular club or restaurant or be a shot girl or bartender something? A good looking girl with a great personality always makes at the very least decent money.
Re: Afraid of being caught?
I think it's pretty much impossible to hide it from a SO. I got caught my first night when I was in college and what felt like the whole world knew within a week or two.
Re: Afraid of being caught?
Thanks everyone. I know all about the military life and catty wifes, I can handle that I just dont want to lose him or mess with his job. Right now marriage isnt on the table. Ill look into the bartender/ waitressing. Ill hold off on dancing for now I think untill I can talk to him.
Re: Afraid of being caught?
You don't need to hide it from him..that will just make matters worse IMO