Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
(I would have posted this as a blog but my account on SW won't let me do blogs. Comments/discussions are appreciated though)
A little about myself: I'm 21 years old and married. I go to school full time and work a vanilla job with minimal hours making about $10.00/hour.
How did I get into stripping? Well, I had been pole dancing for a little over a year and I love pole dancing. Also I had been out to several strip clubs with my friends and I loved it and always had so much fun. My husband and I always made jokes about me becoming a stripper. I wanted to know what it was like to be on stage. I longed for the feeling. I told my husband I was going to do a bikini contest. I called a club and asked them about it. I picked the date and told my husband we were going. The entire time he thought I was joking. Then the day came and we drove an hour and a half to a club where I wouldn't know anyone, he thought I was going to back out. I did the contest, won $100 and I loved being on stage and performing.
After that I would constantly think about that being on stage feeling. I would think about how much extra money I could be making for my husband and I. (He has an awesome job and has no trouble covering all of our bills and expenses so I wasn't desperate for money. I just thought it would be nice to have some extra for trips or other things we may want to buy) About two months later I asked and he said it would be just fine with him if I went and danced a night week. I was excited. I personally needed the okay from him because he is the most important thing in my life and I would never want to do anything to make him unhappy. He feels the same about me...
So I went on my first night, I had to audition, I made about $200. Everything went fine. My second night I made about $400. Everything still went fine, but I just realized a lot about the job that I did not like. After my second night I thought to myself, "I'm not going back." Then I thought about that $400 that I made in 8 hours and I didn't know why I would want to give that up. So It was time for me to go back for my third night. I didn't get to take a nap before work that night because I had a meeting at my vanilla job, which ruined my normal routine that I had created. So I left and went on my way to the club. Once I started the drive I was dreading getting there. I didn't feel like doing it. I knew with the attitude I had I wouldn't make any money even if I did go. Fifteen minutes into my drive I called my husband and told him I didn't want to do this. He was like, "Okay, so come back home." He just wanted me to do whatever made me happy. He thought that I just meant I wasn't in the mood that night, then I told him how I don't want to do it ever. I think he was kind of surprised because of how much I actually wanted to be a stripper before, but he didn't care either way.
What made me dread the club so bad? Coming home smelling like cigarettes, throwing off my sleep schedule, and most of all The Hustle!! I absolutely hate the hustle. I hated going around to men and making them think that I was into them, or that they were special is some way. And when I achieved this I hated their reaction to it. Telling me I should give them my phone number, or if they see me OTC they are going to ask me out. They would tell me I was the perfect girl and they would love for me to be their girl friend... To this I responded, "I'm a stripper." I mean, these dudes are idiots!The whole time I was working I just wanted to scream out, "I'M MARRIED DUMB ASS! DO YOU WANT ME TO DANCE ON YOUR OR NOT?"
I have been to the club with my husband so many times, both before and after we were married. And he always treats the dancers by giving them extra tips and being respectful, and knowing that they probably have boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, etc to go home to and they are not there to find a date. I guess this is how I naively expected majority of men to act. Stupid I know...
The problem is I love dancing. I have so much fun on stage! I feel so powerful and in control when I'm the one on stage and people are crowed around it holding out their money for my attention. It is a rush. I don't even mind giving lap dances. The club I was at doesn't allow the customers to touch the dancer so I didn't have to be grossed out by hands on me. I actually liked watching the customers reactions to my body, it built my self-esteem in that way because I know I am hot!
So now I am not sure if I should go back or not, or if I want to or I don't want to... There are pros and cons. I don't think I have the personality to work the floor and really make good money. I know it comes with time, but I just don't think I could be a top earner. Plus with school full time and my other job I don't think I could handle the night shift. (There is no day shift at this club, they don't open until 7:00PM)
I wish there was a job where I could go and just dance on stage and make money, and if someone wanted a lap dance they would come pull me from the stage we would go and do the dance then when they were ready I'd go back to the stage and wait for the next taker. Now wouldn't that be the perfect job! It would be like picking out a pet at the pet store for the customers, and no ridiculous hustle for the dancers. I guess that is only in a dream world...
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
It's not easy to do it if you're going to school & work a "vanilla" job full time all together. You have no energy left to even hustle. At least you tried.
I know there are clubs where its stage work only, with a VIP/lap dance area option. Maybe there is one like that around your area?
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
I was gonna suggest what Vyanka said as well. Or maybe go-go dancing? Good on you for following your gut feeling.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
lots of women dance for less than a week, realize it isn't for them, and let it go as a life experience.
if you like being on stage and like dancing, why is taking a dance class or joining a dance group out of the question? i'm just not sure how "i like to dance on a stage" => "i will enter the sex industry". they're two totally different things.
pole classes have nothing to do with most of what this job is. if you like pole dancing, pole dance. if you like amateur nights, do those. none of that shit is the actual job.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Personally I think stripping is way more about the hustle than it is about the actual dancing.
This job definitely isn't for everyone but least you know you tried it and it's not for you. Maybe try doing some pole/dance competitions?
You sound like you have a very supportive husband though :)
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
I agree with everyone else. It's not for everyone and yes it gets hard when you add in everything else. I have danced while working a vanilla job or going to school and was completely exhausted. Sounds like you are more into the dancing and as I've found out that's only a small part. If that's the case why not just take classes? An option perhaps is to check into bachelor parties and then you don't have to hustle as much (I'm talking the no touch ones where they pay you upfront).
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
I agree with everyone. Can't say you didn't try and you made some money in the process. There really is so much that goes into this job and yeah, stage is a small part in the grand scheme
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
camille27
lots of women dance for less than a week, realize it isn't for them, and let it go as a life experience.
if you like being on stage and like dancing, why is taking a dance class or joining a dance group out of the question? i'm just not sure how "i like to dance on a stage" => "i will enter the sex industry". they're two totally different things.
pole classes have nothing to do with most of what this job is. if you like pole dancing, pole dance. if you like amateur nights, do those. none of that shit is the actual job.
This x100.
Most of us spend very little time on stage. I can remember entire nights where there were so many girls on a shift that I didn't do a stage show at all. That's not where the real money is anymore anyway. So you're right, if that's all you wanted out of it, it's not for you, and it's much better to have that out early.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Stage is my favorite part of the night too. I love putting on an awesome stage-show, having the row lined with guys waving money at me, getting the energy up in the room... I agree, it's awesome! But... it's a small chunk of the evening. It's my little nugget of reprieve from what the job really is. I actually consider it more my 10 minute break than a subsection of the job, because our real job is the hustle. If the part of the job that actually makes you money is too much for you, then yes, you're right - stripping is not for you. You can't just dance on stage and then go sit down the entire time between sets... I mean, you can - I've done it, but it didn't make me any money, and that was when I was so burnt out, I just couldn't handle it anymore. But if you're that burnt out after only 2 shifts that you couldn't even bring yourself to make it into the building, it's not for you. There's no shame in that. You tried - you realized being an actual stripper is not the same thing as being a temporary dancer on amateur nights, and decided you didn't like the real job. At least you gave it a go, and now have a much better understanding and respect for what strippers do. Consider it a valuable life experience, and if you're really hankering to dance on stage again, stick to a few amateur nights a year.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Haley -- I can completely relate to what you've written. I joined Stripper Web because I've *always* knocked around the idea of becoming a Stripper. Even as a young child (grew up near an Airport w/a lot of Gentlemen's clubs around). I love the idea of DANCING, but ...
Like you, it's the hustle aspect that I've learned, from reading this web site, that I couldn't handle. Also, there are so many -- not RULES per se but -- co worker "Etiquette" that I would have no idea how to handle. I've worked office jobs my entire life ... I wouldn't know how to handle "Don't take my customer! Don't dance to my songs! Don't this and don't that..." I have NO IDEA about this stuff. I have the feeling that I'd piss off half of my co-workers, and be walked all-over by the other half.
So be it, I guess.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JayATee
This x100.
Most of us spend very little time on stage. I can remember entire nights where there were so many girls on a shift that I didn't do a stage show at all. That's not where the real money is anymore anyway. So you're right, if that's all you wanted out of it, it's not for you, and it's much better to have that out early.
The real money is off stage for most, but for me it is all about the stage money bc there are no lapdances. U have to be an awesome dancer/good stage presence to make money in the clubs I work in.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
If you can find a club that's all stage, great. But there is definitely a huge difference between dancing and stripping.
Stage is my favorite part of the night, but many nights I don't even do a show- my club only puts them on if it's pretty busy.
But some of us do live for the hustle. I worked in sales before and stripping is much more of a sales job than a performing one. The switch for me felt natural and I love going to work and taking dudes' money all night. However, it's not for you, but good on you for trying it out. At least you know.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shift_6x
The real money is off stage for most, but for me it is all about the stage money bc there are no lapdances. U have to be an awesome dancer/good stage presence to make money in the clubs I work in.
I'm jealous!!!
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Dont stop dancing ! You even said you don't care if you make money or not because your husband does well soooooo just dance when you want and sit around and hang out the rest of the time. Makes money when is easy. I normally don't need the money I make at work And just blow it on coach purses and shoes Lmfao
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
No strip clubs are not a perfect world. Money is not the end all be all. No one should bend to the presence of money.
There are some customers that appreciate the stage and pole work. However these types of customers that still understand "the art of the tease" are becoming fewer and fewer in number. You're right to follow your gut. If it's something that you feel you have to break your soul to withstand it, then it's not the right path. There are a few girls who before professional dancers, however I notice the majority get in and get out. I admire your ability to stay true to yourself. I also admire your husband in that he stands by you. I'm sure you will find another job that fits you.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
If you want to be on stage, you could try burlesque. I also know a few girls that perform in burlesque shows, but have a portable poles. Like Gravity Plays Favorites and Amber Berlin. Hell, maybe you would like being a Bio Queen. There's all kinds of sexy stage things to do. Heck you could just be the pick up artist if you wanted to.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JayATee
I'm jealous!!!
Do not be too jealous about some of the women who work on stage only clubs. In the are where Shift and I work, there are like two or three good days at a week and some military pay days. Other wise, unless you have a string of steady regulars, the profits are not that good. Why? The majority of the clubs are bikini only dives. A good Friday and/or Saturday night is about $300; the rest of the week feel lucky if you take home $150.
In DC, most clubs are also stage only but the profit margin is larger because the clubs are more upscale and the shows are nude. Totally the opposite from "only" three and half hours down south (Hampton Roads area in Virginia). So yes, there is money to be made on stage only clubs, but it depends where those clubs are located and how they are organized.
To the OP; how about just dancing once or twice a week in order to have a little bit of money to the side? Like the other girls had mentioned in here; try to look for a stage only club and just work there one or two days to make some extra money. But, make your assignment when looking for stage only clubs; I'm pretty sure you do not want the earnings of the south-side Va clubs, but the ones from DC, right?
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
I'm in this purely for the dancing too. I could care les about going into work and hustling. All I ever think about at work is 'I have x amount of time until I get to go on stage again and dance.'
For people who are only in this business because they truly love dancing I would suggest that you either find a club that revolves around the stage--where maybe lapdances/drinks are offered but customers are primarily going there to watch/tip on stage OR find a club that is a stage-only club. Ideally, it would also be beneficial to find a club that will pay you to work there, instead of the other way around (and maybe this isn't popular in the US, but there are clubs out there (i.e. hawaii, guam, greece, germany, puerto rico) to name a few that will pay dancers. IMO, being in this business for the love of dance isn't worth it unless you can manage to find a club where you will profit off of it.
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
I dont know how you'd feel about it or if they even have it in the US but a lot of clubs in the UK have podium dancers. They are paid per hour and are usually there for a few hours of the evening to literally stand on podiums or in suspended cages and dance the night away (in shifts though, not like 5 hours of straight dancing) They get paid to turn up looking hot, stripper make up and hair, usually wearing stripper style clothes but with more covered up. They dont have to deal with customers or hustling and get paid over the average, more than bar staff etc. It could be something you look into. Similarly, if you just love to dance, look into the burlesque troupe idea like the other girls said. I do think that stripping is more about the hustle than the actual dancing, i love to dance and do stage shows, but as its not customary to tip in the UK its rare to make any money from stage shows. I wish we had a £1 note!! xx
Re: Turns out stripping is not for me... I don't think...
I know how you feel. When I first started, I hated that aspect of the job the most and it was exhausting and tiring for me. But once I quit my day job and only danced on the weekends, I had more energy and enthusiasm to hustle. Hustling was a pain in the ass and really hard at first, but after a while it becomes really easy for me and kind of like second nature. I just be myself. I don't act like I'm interested in dating any of the guys, if they like what I got then they'll spend money.