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Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Today, in the two years I've been camming, I had a first. The first being the "first" time that I've ever been so disturbed by what I've seen on a customer's camera that I've needed to stop the show, shut my laptop, and take 5.
I had a customer come into my room, and the first thing out of his mouth was "I'm a submissive male". I told him straightforward that I'm not much of a dom, but he said that was fine and that he'd just like me to watch. So sure, no biggie. We go exclusive, he turns on his cam, and it turns out to be a decent looking middle-aged guy. Heavier set. Totally nice and jovial. Wearing a spiked collar. So we chat for a minute or two, and than he says "want to watch me cum?" Sure! So he tilts his camera down to his penile-area...
...syringes. At least fifteen. Probably more. All stuck into the shaft of his penis. And he kept jabbing more in in the 10 seconds it took me (since I was admittedly frozen in shock) to stop the show and then proceed to stare blankely at my computer screen for a few moments. There was blood. It was terrible. And honestly, I'm a little bit traumatized. I can't seem, no matter how many Jenna Marbles videos I watch on YouTube, to get the image out of my head. Help!
Have any of you ladies ever experienced something along these lines? I was horrified! I suppose there's the first time for everything - and that these things should be expected when delving into the realm of camming - but damn! Perhaps it was a little naivety on my part...still...what the Hell. I'd like to get through the rest of the day without that image continuously popping up while I'm trying to enjoy activities with the rest of normal fuctioning society.
What was the weirdest thing you've ever seen on cam that left you a little irked - and how did you deal with it? I'm still a little dizzy - and nauseous, to say the least.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
ah... whatever floats their boat, as long as they;re not hurting anyone ELSE.
I was recently told that in some villages in Turkey, the men, who have the right to marry/have more wifes.... well these men, if they get bored/want to get rid of one wife... they simply do that. and the wifes are taken to what they call a " whore house".. which is a place for.....whores... what happens there? Go figure.. nothing good I think...
women have no right and no say over this.
I'd rather be paid to watch guys stick sharp things in their penis, then live in Turkey...
See my point?
This world is crazy.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Fridays
ah... whatever floats their boat, as long as they;re not hurting anyone ELSE.
I was recently told that in some villages in Turkey, the men, who have the right to marry/have more wifes.... well these men, if they get bored/want to get rid of one wife... they simply do that. and the wifes are taken to what they call a " whore house".. which is a place for.....whores... what happens there? Go figure.. nothing good I think...
women have no right and no say over this.
I'd rather be paid to watch guys stick sharp things in their penis, then live in Turkey...
See my point?
This world is crazy.
Oh, totally. And I see what you mean. I guess on my end, I just wasn't expecting it. I myself have a low tolerance for things of that nature - needles, blood, and anything involving both in those more - sensitive - areas. So it really turned my stomach. Everyone's threshold is different, I suppose. I'm just trying to cope.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
call me sick.. but ive watched tons of folks that do things like that...guess it doesn't help that in alot of my profiles its says i like to watch but.. idk.. could be the aries in me i used it as a how long can i hold a straight face w out laughing or being grossed out.. havent found something that grosses me out yet but.. its interesting none the less.. better them than me lol..
think the only thing i was tramatized on was a phonesex call it was going the normal way then somehow went way left field and by the time i caught on to what was goin on this dude was living out some sick sex w a minor thing about his neighbors kid... i was done hung up phone and did not work for the rest of the day i was soo pissed.. and people handle calls like that on a daily basis w their no holds barred/ no taboos ugh..
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
OMFG.. I was revolted just by reading about it!! I too would be traumatized! O.O
I'm just about to start camming and this just helped me realize I should be carefull on who I let cam2cam. I can't endure physical pain like this, even when it's not on me.
Who knows, maybe dude just got off on the fact that he scared the sh*t out of you.
In either case, I sympathize with you. I would watch my favorite cartoons over and over to rid the image.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Those types of things do not bother me, as long as they are not hurting someone else. It is strange though!
I have been disturbed when I have a customer turn on his cam and then I realize he is only 9-12 years old! That has happened twice recently and it really fucks me up. Luckily it was near the beginning of the show and I was only chatting at that point. All we can do is report the issue and hope that the sites eventually find ways to take extra measurements against underage customers. :(
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
I would have just covered the screen like I always do when something grosses me out...The weirdest thing I ever saw in my 4 months of camming was a guy sucking his own dick:yuck:
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lolabunny
I would have just covered the screen like I always do when something grosses me out...The weirdest thing I ever saw in my 4 months of camming was a guy sucking his own dick:yuck:
Auto-fellatio? That's actually quite a talent. He could make big bucks on cam with that shit.
*ahem* Anyway, the only time I've really been disturbed was a false alarm. Guy had me in a block/c2c and had his sound on.
Things are going great till about 10 minutes in I hear him say my name. My name, not my cam name. As I sit there in absolute shock for a few seconds, I realize he's talking to someone ELSE in another room.
@[email protected];
edit: Thankfully that was my goal for the day met, so I took the time to turn off the cam and hyperventilate after we finished the block.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
My problem with this is these guys are doing this type of stuff to traumatize you. How could that not bother someone in some way/shape or form. These people have serious issues, the last place they should be is on a camsite. They are sick and get off on KNOWING that they are exposing you to things that may be disturbing/traumatize you.
They are in fact, hurting others....if it is non consensual, no one should have to witness anything like that in this manner. It is not an accident, and they know what they are doing. This could be prevented if these sites would punish members who do things against the rules, like they punish the models. There is a lack of monitering on both ends, there are also girls who do taboo shows on these sites, so it makes custys feel it is acceptable. BUT a majority of them know they are disturbing/traumatizing you and enjoy doing/knowing this. IMHO they are sick and need help for deeper issues, what is also more frightening, is that every single person has a closeted individual like this in their lives who do things like this behind closed doors. That is what scares me most of all, we all appear so normal on the outside besides the obvious serial killer, but who knows what even the closest people to you are thinking and doing secretly. They would never do this in person with anyone, but since u are just on a computer screen they can fufill their perversions with no consequences or rejection. They are cowards. Remember that and you will be able to move forward from this and any other experiences like it.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Recently it has been getting worse, too. Camming has been pretty mild for me the first years but I notice my customers are getting more violent towards me and the subs are becoming more violent towards themselves.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
These are just the risks that come with the territory. There's a reason why the sex industry pays what it does.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cyberstripper
My problem with this is these guys are doing this type of stuff to traumatize you. How could that not bother someone in some way/shape or form. These people have serious issues, the last place they should be is on a camsite. They are sick and get off on KNOWING that they are exposing you to things that may be disturbing/traumatize you.
I disagree.
The guys that I all have run into with 'off-the-wall' things - they have a particular fetish. Cum eating, sucking his own dick, fucking his ass with an eggplant, etc. If they are doing something to themselves and not asking it of you, not matter how "bad" it is - They are just harmless fetish guys. Fetishes are not "bad, disgusting" or a product of someone who "needs therapy" - it's actually a form of therapy!
I honestly do NOT think they are getting online to try to shock us. They have a genuine fetish that they aren't openly able to express because it's a little "out there" by society's standards so they come to us to help make the whole experience a little more real, or whatever.
Lots of guys are in conservative marriages/relationships or are too scared to come out and find play partners in their local kink scene. Camming and online domination is an easy no-hassle outlet.
So I seriously doubt that the guy poking his dick with needles is causing himself physical pain just to see you gag for 3.99/minute. He has a CBT fetish and wants to share that with someone.
The guys who come in and harass us and ask/tell US to stick eggs up our ass, or pie ourselves in the face, fuck an animal or whatever weird, gross, stupid they want us to do - those are the trolls. Those are the sick stupid fucks looking to get off on something disgusting by watching US do it. And they want it for free or extremely cheap...they are not our customers.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cyberstripper
My problem with this is these guys are doing this type of stuff to traumatize you. How could that not bother someone in some way/shape or form. These people have serious issues, the last place they should be is on a camsite. They are sick and get off on KNOWING that they are exposing you to things that may be disturbing/traumatize you.
There is a lack of monitering on both ends, there are also girls who do taboo shows on these sites, so it makes custys feel it is acceptable.
That is what scares me most of all, we all appear so normal on the outside besides the obvious serial killer, but who knows what even the closest people to you are thinking and doing secretly.
What are you talking about? You are now speaking on behalf of all cam customers? lol, totally not the case. Customers don't do it to traumatize/bother you. Maybe some do. But others are genuinely interested in whatever they're doing on cam and the reason why they're paying a hefty price per minute is because they want to find someone else who is just as interested in it. I mean, they're paying HUGE amounts. No one cares about you that much that they want to waste their money just on trying to bother you. No, they are fetish customers who are willing to pay a good amount for the fantasies and are looking for a girl who will fulfill them.
I'm actually really interested in fetish. I do taboo and I love it. I like blood play too, but I refrain because I know its illegal on cam and bordering dangerous to those who are not experienced. Its not like anyone is forced into doing anything. They do it for fun, for pleasure. You are the only one being forced into doing things you don't want to do, and you CHOOSE to continue to expose yourself to them. You don't have to be a sexworker if you don't want to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cyberstripper
IMHO they are sick and need help for deeper issues, what is also more frightening, is that every single person has a closeted individual like this in their lives who do things like this behind closed doors.
They would never do this in person with anyone, but since u are just on a computer screen they can fufill their perversions with no consequences or rejection. They are cowards.
You honestly sound exactly like Shelley Lubben right now, lolol. Maybe some fetish customers have issues, but most don't. Its a fantasy. Its not reality. And yes, many also do this stuff in their private lives with partners, but partners who are interested in the exact same fetishes are hard to come by so not all men do. That's why they turn to the internet.
IMHO, if you think these customers are "sick" and "need help for deeper issues" then wouldn't that make YOU even MORE sick and in need of help for deeper issues since you continue to work in a supposed industry with sick men with deep issues??? You talk about how much its traumatizing you and bothering you, then just don't put yourself in situations where you come across these people because its not going to stop. Being a cam girl, you expose yourself to these people. I'd say go strip or escort instead where you will mostly find vanilla customers and not these ~*crazy fetish customers*~. Like, if you honestly believed everything you wrote in this thread, you would just get out of the sex industry ASAP and move on with your life doing something you're happy with (which is clearly not sexwork). Especially if its continually traumatizing you and you think its getting worse as time goes on.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
I wish i could hit the like button a million times
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
GlamourRouge
I'm actually really interested in fetish. I do taboo and I love it. I like blood play too, but I refrain because I know its illegal on cam and bordering dangerous to those who are not experienced. Its not like anyone is forced into doing anything. They do it for fun, for pleasure. You are the only one being forced into doing things you don't want to do, and you CHOOSE to continue to expose yourself to them. You don't have to be a sexworker if you don't want to.
IMHO, if you think these customers are "sick" and "need help for deeper issues" then wouldn't that make YOU even MORE sick and in need of help for deeper issues since you continue to work in a supposed industry with sick men with deep issues??? You talk about how much its traumatizing you and bothering you, then just don't put yourself in situations where you come across these people because its not going to stop. Being a cam girl, you expose yourself to these people. I'd say go strip or escort instead where you will mostly find vanilla customers and not these ~*crazy fetish customers*~. Like, if you honestly believed everything you wrote in this thread, you would just get out of the sex industry ASAP and move on with your life doing something you're happy with (which is clearly not sexwork). Especially if its traumatizing you.
ding ding ding! Thank you Glamour! It baffles me why people agree to do fetish work, or see something awful on cam and then cry about it.
1) It comes with the job. Prepare for it. Breathe. Get over it.
2) Don't like it, just close the cam. But don't complain about these guys. They have done nothing wrong. They are NOT sick, disgusting in anyway, whatsoever. Just say, "Hey not my thing but thats ok for you." Close the cam. Be done with it.
Just omg, "They would never do this in person with anyone, but since u are just on a computer screen they can fufill their perversions with no consequences or rejection. They are cowards. Remember that and you will be able to move forward from this and any other experiences like it."
No, no, no! That is such skewed thinking. So negitive and hateful. They have fetishes they can't express so they come to us. We are like therapy for them.
They are NOT damaged, or disgusting, or cowardly. Saying that is extremely judgmental and disgusting of YOU so you should be ashamed of that.
You know why they continue to be in the 'closet' ??? Because of people making comments like the ones you just made. Radically negative, skewed up views on something they have ZERO knowledge in.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
warning: a few of you might not want to read this if you are easily triggered/bothered...
Another thing to keep in mind is that people are sometimes drawn to things sexually *because* they are taboo. Sometimes, it can only be played out in a fantasy, like incest. My understanding is that a large percentage of the guys who fantasize about incest aren't thinking about their actual family members, it's more about the power dynamic and taboo nature of it, so they think about a situation where somebody is their "family member", not necessarily blood relatives. And I've heard that a lot of girls like to roleplay the "daddy/daughter" thing with their boyfriends, apparently it isn't unpopular in literotica.
Same thing with rape...LOTS of people fantasize about forceful sex (giving or receiving), but that doesn't make people rapists, it doesn't mean that anybody wants to be raped and doesn't make it O.K in real life. It doesn't condone it in any way. Obviously it is a terrible thing. But consenting adults can roleplay it if they want to, and trust each other.
I also have no problem with age play so long as it's between consenting adults. Including adult babies, infantilism, any age really. I think that people are drawn to this for a number of reasons, and there are lots of age-players who don't have a fetish for it, it's more like a non-sexual lifestyle choice. But just because people do have a fetish for it does NOT make them pedophiles, contrary to popular belief. The difference is that they are drawn to adults who act and dress up as children, NOT children themselves (if they are the big). It doesn't really seem obvious to most people, but it's a significant difference. There are probably some pedophiles who attempt to live out their fantasy through age-play, but my guess is that they are definitely in the minority and it's just not the same.
I'm not an expert in any of the above fetishes or fantasies, but my point is that just because people have sexual interests that aren't considered "normal" by society, doesn't make them immoral. People don't want to talk about these things because they're considered strange, and they don't want to be judged. So when they are trying to find someone to play out their fantasies with online, they're just looking for a psychologically safe place to do so where they can feel accepted. I think it can be cathartic for them, and I do think it's important that they find a way to express them safely, for their own well-being.
It's entirely up to you to decide what you feel comfortable with (also bearing in mind that many cam sites do not allow these things), so long as you are not causing extreme pain or damage to yourself/the other person (and I mean EXTREME, like cutting off limbs), hurting anybody outside the relationship, or condoning it.
OP, I am sorry that this was traumatizing to you, and to be fair it would have been most ideal of him to inform you before showing you. But I think this thread is good to remind cam girls that it's extremely helpful to be very open minded in this career, and to be aware of the risks of running into people that make you feel uncomfortable, and having compassion and understanding towards those with unique interests, even if you do not choose to engage in them yourself.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cyberstripper
what is also more frightening, is that every single person has a closeted individual like this in their lives who do things like this behind closed doors. That is what scares me most of all, we all appear so normal on the outside besides the obvious serial killer, but who knows what even the closest people to you are thinking and doing secretly. They would never do this in person with anyone, but since u are just on a computer screen they can fufill their perversions with no consequences or rejection. They are cowards. Remember that and you will be able to move forward from this and any other experiences like it.
Well if they didn't keep their fetishes closeted and behind closed doors, then all the food fetish men would be jerking off in restaurants while watching women eat. Just saying.
Then again.... maybe they secretly do?
Your landlord could be sneaking in and sniffing your panties while you are out shopping.. and maybe even take a pair home with him occasionally.
It is what it is though... which is reality. It is also a reality of different types of fetish that many cam girls make a lot of money by catering to.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
amberose
warning: a few of you might not want to read this if you are easily triggered/bothered...
Another thing to keep in mind is that people are sometimes drawn to things sexually *because* they are taboo. Sometimes, it can only be played out in a fantasy, like incest. My understanding is that a large percentage of the guys who fantasize about incest aren't thinking about their actual family members, it's more about the power dynamic and taboo nature of it, so they think about a situation where somebody is their "family member", not necessarily blood relatives. And I've heard that a lot of girls like to roleplay the "daddy/daughter" thing with their boyfriends, apparently it isn't unpopular in literotica.
Same thing with rape...LOTS of people fantasize about forceful sex (giving or receiving), but that doesn't make people rapists, it doesn't mean that anybody wants to be raped and doesn't make it O.K in real life. It doesn't condone it in any way. Obviously it is a terrible thing. But consenting adults can roleplay it if they want to, and trust each other.
I also have no problem with age play so long as it's between consenting adults. Including adult babies, infantilism, any age really. I think that people are drawn to this for a number of reasons, and there are lots of age-players who don't have a fetish for it, it's more like a non-sexual lifestyle choice. But just because people do have a fetish for it does NOT make them pedophiles, contrary to popular belief. The difference is that they are drawn to adults who act and dress up as children, NOT children themselves (if they are the big). It doesn't really seem obvious to most people, but it's a significant difference. There are probably some pedophiles who attempt to live out their fantasy through age-play, but my guess is that they are definitely in the minority and it's just not the same.
I'm not an expert in any of the above fetishes or fantasies, but my point is that just because people have sexual interests that aren't considered "normal" by society, doesn't make them immoral. People don't want to talk about these things because they're considered strange, and they don't want to be judged. So when they are trying to find someone to play out their fantasies with online, they're just looking for a psychologically safe place to do so where they can feel accepted. I think it can be cathartic for them, and I do think it's important that they find a way to express them safely, for their own well-being.
It's entirely up to you to decide what you feel comfortable with (also bearing in mind that many cam sites do not allow these things), so long as you are not causing extreme pain or damage to yourself/the other person (and I mean EXTREME, like cutting off limbs), hurting anybody outside the relationship, or condoning it.
OP, I am sorry that this was traumatizing to you, and to be fair it would have been most ideal of him to inform you before showing you. But I think this thread is good to remind cam girls that it's extremely helpful to be very open minded in this career, and to be aware of the risks of running into people that make you feel uncomfortable, and having compassion and understanding towards those with unique interests, even if you do not choose to engage in them yourself.
I agree 110%. I always try to keep in an open mind - and in regards to needle/blood play - I see nothing wrong with the dude behind the camera. Far for me to judge anyone, since I myself happen to enjoy some taboos that many might consider 'immoral' and stick a red label on my forehead for. For instance, I enjoy age-play. I happen to have a very, very young appearance, so that's my big niche in the camming world. It's the majority of the traffic I get, in fact. And while I wouldn't go as far as to play a young child (heck, I have a 5 year old sister...and I've been asked just how *low* I'd go) I do enjoy playing a significantly younger female (Lolita Haze, Humbert Humbert?). I enjoy the act of domination, and I enjoy the acts with older men. That being said, it's never extended beyond the cam world. It's a simple fantasy. Far be it for me to judge a man for one taboo, yet not one for another. Everything is subjective. As long as they're not inflicting pain one someone else, I don't believe it's wrong.
I'm sure in my case, the guy was probably unaware that it would shock me as it did. Sure, there's a possibility that he wasn't, and that he might have gotten his kicks out of the thrill-factor in surprising me with a close-up of over dozen needles jammed into his c*ck. But...as others have said, it comes with the industry's territory. I guess we all make new discoveries everyday, and I've simply discovered some things that I personally cannot stomach. No harm, no foul. I just wish for my own sake I could rid the image, since it doesn't do much for me. =(
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Yeah I had a reg for quite a while, one of teh first ever custies i had lol, who liked to put sharp objects down his japs eye... ewww. There would be blood and all sorts, it was horrible. I kept watching at first because i didn't know what else to do and after i realized he wasn't checking my cam anyway i just used to look off cam and do something else while he "performed". As long as they ain't hurting anyone or anything else then they can do whatever they like to themselves so long as I am getting £££! :P
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mariqueen
What was the weirdest thing you've ever seen on cam that left you a little irked - and how did you deal with it? I'm still a little dizzy - and nauseous, to say the least.
I have had just a couple things trigger/freak me out while I have been on cam. I found that talking other cam girls while I was on chatzy helped me deal with it. They were very sympathetic, but full of tough love. They helped me realize that even though it felt like a 'waking nightmare' that I was safe and that it was okay for me TO be freaked out and to take some time to distract myself. Of course, not too much time though. You have to get back on your cam eventually.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Wow... Well the weirdest thing I seen was a guy stick a metal rod in his pee hole I was shocked lol. Other than that when I see them eat their own cum or dress like a power ranger (lmao) I could care less more money for me.
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Yeah that was prob my reg Alexis lol, tho i am sure there are way more of them out there than we can ever imagine!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BOOBIES EVERYWHERE???? Argh stop distracting me!!!
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
I will preface this by saying I am trained Domina and worked in a well known dungeon for a couple of years.
I have seen a lot of things however even when I was prepared and knew what the activity was I have had some
strong reactions to a few things... Ball busting,anal fisting,sounding (metal rod in urethra)and suturing/needle play namely.
I actually LOVE sounding AND needle play and think it is so hot now and I am either indifferent or mischievous about ball busting.
Anyway,
I got hot and nearly fainted/vomited the first 2 minutes I witnessed these. Not because I was disgusted but because it IS
an extreme visual.
I consented to see that and still had that reaction , the OP should have been warned by the custy. He may not know
that because he is doing self CBT he may not be well versed in how BDSM relationships work.
The dommes limits are just as valid and important even if she is being paid, it is the domme responsibility
to tell the sub what her limits are.
This is a danger of sexwork because you can't control other people completely and sometimes you think you
more ready than you are.
Do fetish research go through a sub check list....make your own do and don't list and include anything you are UNSURE about
in the least. Then when someone asks about fetish play you can run off your don't list and that will nicely open
talk of limits... if his boner dies because you call him a bitch you want to know that...
Hope you feel better!
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
Awww - you all put your claws back in - lol - there are alot of unique interest out there and the general population has no clue - sex workers have an advantageous window to see things most will never see or would ever believe exist - that can take awhile to get used to - some will adapt and others will leave - be nice to the ladies trying to find their way :)
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Re: Cam-Trauma...Your experiences, and what helps?
It really does come with the territory. I've seen a lot worse submissive males on c2c.
Please remember this thread is public. I don't think our customers feel comfortable seeing this. There is a resaon that they are paying around 2-9 or whatever dollars a minute. These guys have a sexual need/fetish that cannot be desired in real life, so they come to us. I don't really see anything wrong with pleasing THEIR desires, as long as it is not illegal. .