Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
hi all. i am in such a state right now. my whole heart and body feels so heavy.
yesterday my 6 month old yellow cockatiel flew away and out the front door.
I feel awful because
a. I dont know if he is alive or not
b. i miss him
c. i think my husband blames me for it since I was at home and he was working at the time
d. i got home at 4 am from work, and saw that my husband had thrown the old cage on the floor out of grief, anger, whatever he had been experiencing.
I am devastated about my little friend flying off, I just need some support. I haven't gotten so much as a hug or anything from my husband- not one kind word only angry glares and he ran off to the bar after he cried for an hour, I felt bad working last night but I needed the money.
I have so many questions. where did the bird go? Should i get a new one? ( I do want a new baby bird) I feel like it would heal the empty space in my heart and give me new lessons to teach him.
My husband seems bitter and angry and says he doesn't want a new one, doesnt want to get attached again, and take the time to train him. I am heartbroken but would be willing to take the time and do it all myself. he was like our little spot of peace and cheerfulness in the house when chaos was everywhere else.
i feel as i've lost them both and i feel disconnected from the world but in so much pain. i would welcome any and all comments as long as they are good spirited thank you all.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Sometimes a bird is only meant to be caged for so long. It flew away for a reason. If it comes back it is yours, if not you must accept its decision.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
pink bunny ive had a few pet birds (parakeets, love birds) die on me in my lifetime so I know your pain. Take some time to heal and if you feel you still want a bird then do it. It might not fully replace the last but it'll bring you new endearing experiences (;
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
I feel your pain, animals grow close to us, and they take a place in your heart.
Not knowing how to take your pain away, but I understand how you feel
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Awww *hugs* losing a pet is so painful. Especially when you might feel responsible. It was an honest mistake that could happen to anyone. I don't know if your old bird will be ok but I can tell you I used to volunteer with a wildlife organisation and I got called to assistance and found out it was a cockatiel. Since that is not a native bird I didn't have to pick it up but I did. It was weak and I thought it might be sick but after a day with me it perked back up again. I posted about it on some lost pet boards but no one came to claim it. One day my friend came over and his little daughter loved the birdie so I gave it to her. I just thought Id share that because something similar could happen to your little one. Find out if there are any lost pet websites that cover your area and check there. If not it sounds like your husband might need some time to adjust to the situation but I think you should get another bird one day. I hate hearing when people do not get a new pet. Its so sad :( There are so many animals in this world that need good owners like you guys.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Oh hun, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the hurt of losing a pet, and in some ways I think it's worse than a pet passing away, because with this instance you don't know what's become of your poor bird. My biggest fear is my cat somehow getting out the door/window and getting away before I can get to it. Like with your bird, it wouldn't come back or be easily found like a dog would. Don't blame yourself, it's one of those things that just happened and it doesn't sound like anyone's fault.
Can you call pet shelters and vets, and maybe put up flyers? I know normally a bird would be up in a tree or something and be hard to find, but jessie ^^ brings up a good point. If it's used to being around people, it might hang around houses or perch somewhere easy to reach, and if it's injured it might stay on the ground. If you do decide to get a new bird, I would wait a little while until you're not grieving this one so much, a lot of people try to replace one animal with another but it doesn't always help like they think it will. And maybe consider microchipping, so if it's found, any vet will be able to bring up your contact info right away. I had that done to my cat and it was very easy and not expensive at all
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
I used to have a couple of cockatiels and they are so sweet. (((hugs)))
Have you tried putting out fliers in the area? It's possible someone found the bird and doesn't know who owns it. If you want your birds to be roaming freely around your house you do need to learn to clip the flight feathers so they can't escape like that in the future (it's painless for the bird when done correctly and easy to do).
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Try putting up fliers sometimes lost birds are found. or maybe he'll come home. I'm so sorry.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
I would look for him, if I were you. I know searching for a winged pet is difficult, but I've had a few parrots fly into my yard and hang out on the fence till their owners came to get them. Also, a rose-breasted cockatoo adopted my grandmother in a similar manner many years ago. I hope things turn out alright... good luck!
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
and as a sidenote: wow, your husband sounds like a fucking jerk. you're in pain too.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Please don't beat yourself up over this. Its a bird, flying is what they do. You can't control what happened. I once let my bird out to play only to watch my beloved rat terrier expertly stalk him and lunge at him, mid-air and kill him. I mean, shit just happens. Birds fly away all the time. There's nothing you can do to change the fact that he's gone and will likely never come back. Please just accept it and let it go.
I'm sorry your husband is being so insensitive to you, too. This isn't your "fault" and its outside of anybody's control. He also needs to come to terms with it, stop blaming you and move forward. Its okay if he doesn't want a new bird right away but holding this against you and being resentful isn't going to help anything. Forgive yourself and tell him to get over it, too. That's what any mature adult would do. FG also makes a good point, this is just as hard on you as it is on him. He needs to have more empathy so that you both can comfort each other.
I think there's always the inherent risk of a bird flying away. If that's your pet of choice, you just have to accept the idea that it may happen, someday. They are very bright but also self-determined creatures. If they see an opportunity to split, they may just go for it. I've also had birds so domesticated, we could perch them on our shoulders and walk around the backyard with them. Its really random, how that works.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
vivianbear
I think there's always the inherent risk of a bird flying away. If that's your pet of choice, you just have to accept the idea that it may happen, someday. They are very bright but also self-determined creatures. If they see an opportunity to split, they may just go for it. I've also had birds so domesticated, we could perch them on our shoulders and walk around the backyard with them. Its really random, how that works.
Well I really think if you make a pet out of a bird the flight feathers should be clipped to keep the bird safe.
I'm surprised that more don't do it for their pets. It's the first thing my vet showed me when I brought my birds in.
http://crazyforcockatiels.blogspot.c...wings-and.html
It's simple (have your vet do it the first time and then show you the correct way) and doesn't hurt the bird.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
^^
Oh yeah, we would clip wings and such, as well. I agree, its a necessity when you have a bird you're bonded to. Sometimes we would just go a while without doing it or forget to clip for long periods of time, altogether. Wings can grow pretty quickly and birds still get away, in flight. Clipping is still an important part of having a bird.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
*UPDATE*
We have a new bird! Yesterday I got a call when I was at the coffee shop to go for a suprise trip. My husband gave me a kiss, and his credit card, and we went to the parrot store. This came when I was still devastated and trying to stay out of the house. We have a brand new sun conure and he is a little squishy bear lol. It was a hard weekend at work but I am deffo taking tonight off to spend time with my new buddy and the whole family is doing great. me, my man, and (kind of, they are super curious the dog and cats) In the mean time: ive found i like this song and it kind of comforts me in this situation. its called bigger then my body, by john mayer.This is a call to the color-blind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind a horizon line
Tied up in something true
Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry
Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Why is it not my time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return
Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry
Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Cause I'm bigger than my body now
Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll gladly go down in a flame
If the flame's what it takes to remember my name
Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded (by)
All this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry
For my fuse to dry
Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body now
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
ps I didnt know about bird microchipping. Do most bird vets do that?
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pink_bunny
ps I didnt know about bird microchipping. Do most bird vets do that?
I'm not sure about birds, I just suggested it because I had it done to my cat. But I don't know why they wouldn't be able to, the chip is smaller than a grain of rice and can be done like a regular shot, without the animal needing to be sedated etc.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
A vet can do a microchip but I donno if its worth it really unless its a very expensive bird. Someone still has to find it and turn it in to a vet or shelter to be scanned and being a bird the chances of someone finding it and turning it in isn't as high as a cat or dog, but I suppose if it is particularly unique or exotic someone might be more compelled to turn it in.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
Congrats on your new bird :) I hope your new little pal brightens your world with lots of happiness.
Re: Really need some support right now; bird flew away.
I'm so glad you are happy with your new bird! just do all you can to remember your old friend.
congrats!