That's a good way to look at it, Gingerstripper. Sundays in general they have been good for me this summer. I was hoping it would continue that way but I forgot about the sports factor! Doh!
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This isn't so related to sites being slow as it is to the emotional aspect of camming, and needing to let it off my chest.
This is the second night in a row that I am absolutely genuinely suicidal and haven't worked. I just had to send a long apology to someone about it, and the constant worry/stress about my parents finding out has lead to constant panic attacks and breakdowns.
I am scared, and afraid of sites like anonib who find women's private info and makes them stalkable, and especially targets camgirls. I didn't realize that those sites were legal and existed so easily.
I feel scared and powerless. the dark side of this has hit, and it's hit hard. I wish so hard that I had parents that loved/respected me no matter what.
Life feels like to much, and I have no idea how to approach any of this, now having learned about taxes and how they could potentially expose me to my parents.
I just needed to share all of this.
I have struggled with anxiety, panic, depression, and crappy parents myself. Think about getting some counseling locally, there are often free or low cost mental health services in your city or county. You don't have to feel like this alone. Please feel free to PM me, we could chat, Skype, whatever if you just need to vent. I'm not a substitute for professional help (which we all need a little bit of!) but sometimes it can feel good to just have someone who doesn't mind listening to your problems. Whatever you do, don't hurt yourself over any of these feelings. They will pass, with time and work! Hugs!
(((hugs)))
Wish I could send you a real hug and some tension-tamer tea :) (seriously that stuff is awesome, thx to whoever on this board recommended it)!
You may not be in as much difficulty as it seems since you only made 3000 dollars. That is not going to affect their tax bill that much. If I were in your position I'd play it very low-key.
I see no reason why they would doubt your story of tech support if you calmly stick by it. You have a HUGE advantage because the site you worked doesn't have the actual site name on the 1099. Stay calm and act normal and they probably would have no reason to go digging. Instead hopefully they will feel very proud you are trying to get money for school.
About the exposure, yes it is a risk. I started disguising myself somewhat to minimize that with a different haircolor wig and different clothing and makeup.
I find from what I read though that most webcammers who are exposed to family do it to themselves though, honestly. They share with a boyfriend too early in the relationship, a bad breakup happens and the guy is hurt or angry and tries to get back by exposing the woman, or the camhost shares with a girlfriend who then blabs it to everyone like an idiot.
Your risk may be smaller than you think. Try not to worry too much! You are on the brink of being on your own, at least within a few years if not sooner. (((more hugs)))
I just wanted to come back and say thank you so much for the kind responses. It was hard to write that and I was unsure if it was a good idea. I wish I could be more articulate and do your replies justice but energy has been running low.
I scheduled an appointment with my therapist.
I didn't mean to hijack the thread but I just really wanted to say how much it meant to me to have been treated so kindly. *BIG hugs*
Working primetime on SM not in my reg time spot sucked ASS.. Time for a bath and some cookies :(
Guh 250 bucks tonight and my internet company decides to do updates or something. I have a strong connection..no internet guhhhh 59 from goal I was getting it too!!! In the middle of a gold show fml
holy shit....i fucking hate mfc right now...I have been doing awesome on mfc...and my camscore dropped 400 points...fucking over that fucking site. ugh
Well that winning streak was short-lived.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/245...pie-eyes-o.gif
lol grumpy cat
Getting a little frustrated today.... Traffic seems to be painfully slow... I managed to get about $18/hour yesterday, and so far this morning, nothing at all. I've got a couple of big shoots to pay for, and a fair amount of time off for them in Sept, so could really do with having a good couple of weeks til then. Gah. Oh well. Time to get some more caffine and put the smile back on!
once again, another really dreadful wednesday. 10.00 in the hour.
i remember when I used to be so excited to be making 10 an hour at the bank.
now i'm like, "WTF $%@#)$*@#%&@) ONLY TEN DOLLARS??!?!?!"
maybe i should just take wednesdays off.
I've been thinking about quiting my $10 an hour Wednesday and Thursday morning because Monday and Tuesday morning are so profitable on SM, what site are you on this morning?
Oops, that should say quiting my 10$ an hour Wednesday and Thursday morning job. I got a check from them today for 69$ for 7.73 hours and I thought to myself, I can make that in less than 4 hours at home!
So slow.
I went on for a few hours this morning (12-3am UK time) expecting it to busy because the American guys would be more "alive" than during my normal times, and it was pretty shit. Disappointed. :-( Actually, first half hour was good, then it turned to shit. And banned 3 guys in that time. :-(
Oh man. I'm braving a Wednesday (not a usual day but I missed Monday...) and expecting to deal with the slow traffic.
I just feel like when I'm in a good mood, I should make it a priority to actually GET ON, and today has been pleasant enough lol.
High hopes though!
wow, I bled all over a dildo..because my body decided to bleed through a tampon within 2 hours... a regular tampon. that never happens, the guy was like NO WAY... im OUT... and I didnt have fucking time to say anything. luckily no bad rating... but camming sucks... cause i forced myself to work the first day of my period. ( usually a light bleeder) and this is what happens. sigh. Way to make a girl feel good about herself. fuck. On top of that i obviously didnt make goal. 124 for the night...I could keep going but im kind of nervous about bleeding through. I think tonight i just need to rest. Goodnight guys :(
I'm swearing off Wednesdays. Fuck Wednesdays. That is all.
SM is sucking on my computer. I know my computer isn't the best and it's not getting any better but my computer is doing terrible with SM. Every guy tells me my feed is choppy UGHH! And I can't afford to get a new computer at the moment so this sucks. My backup sites aren't cutting it right now either. SM is always hit or miss with me lately when it comes to traffic but I can't even friggin get on there now to even TRY. Just needed to vent...
I just started on MFC recently....I got one really good customer at first but he only plays when he's out of town and he's home for a few days now :/ Anyway, its been a really frustrating experience all around, honestly, MFC can suck a bag of dicks, but tonight....UHG tonight was SO slow and people were being SO RUDE. I couldn't believe how rude these motherfuckers were, for Christ's sake.
I really just want to get Niteflirt going but that's got its own difficulties. SIGH. I've had one day where I made decent, not awesome money, and the rest of the week has been pretty much working for free. Here's hoping this shit gets better so I'm not out on my ass in two months...
Okay, I know I'm new and there's always a bit of a learning curve with new things.
At this point I'm getting frustrated.
I'm only three weeks in and in that three weeks I've worked 20 hours and am barely (barely) averaging out to 10/hr. When I talk to other models and hear how much their making I'm glad for their success and I'm like :'( I wanna be at that level too! What am I doing wrong? I either get guys who love me but only want to talk or those who buy a show and then leave.
*tangent* I get a lot of short shows. I don't know if that means I'm really good or if I suck really badly *tangent*
I have a few regulars but lately I haven't seen them.
And on top of that I'm way harder on myself than I have a right to be. So like this hard time I'm having is starting to get to me just a little bit. It's like good god, really? This isn't rocket surgery. Are you telling me I can't even do this right?
It's just ugh. I like it, but I would like it more if I didn't feel like such a failure. If I had something more to show for it than a little bit of gas money (and *ahem* makeup, I've been going through makeup like never before.)
*deep sigh*
Camming is not easy, you gotta stick out like a sore thumb to become really successful.
It will take time and effort and sometimes money (upgrading computer, webcam, mic, internet, toys, etc.)
recommended computer processor is i7..but if you have an i5 that will work too. get the logitech c290..best cam you can get. get a good clear mic
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...?ie=UTF8&psc=1
and HIgh speed internet. :) best you can find..get that.
These have significant amount of impact on how you will do. so check all that stuff first.
watch other girls. if you're on mfc as ur first site maybe try going on SM or chaturbate to learn the ropes before going on mfc.
mfc is crazy and it will make you go insane. so my advice is try the other sites first. Remember you gotta build a fan base.
smile, dance, squeal and have fun bb