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Does it ever scare you to think?
That (more than likely) right when we stop dancing and take on our careers, we are going to have to deal with bosses, strict schedules, 9-5's (more than likely), and half ass paychecks?
My boyfriend really slapped me in the face with this yesterday, and when I really see myself working hard for little (the opposite of my life now) it scares the shit out of me.
Does anyone else feel this way?
And, just for fun, what are your plans after dancing?
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
i dont think i can ever work for anybody. i plan to either get into internet marketing, online business or offline business. before stripping, i used to get fired a lot and i can't stand being in school. there are other ways to make a lot money with flexible hours. stripping or any job in sex industry is not the only job out there that will give you good money and hours.
heck i'm only 22 and i'm already thinking of a way to get out of the business. i've only been doing it for more than a year and after lots of energy healing surrounding my karma regarding men, sex, money, and poverty mentality, i'm more than ever to finally have the courage to succeed in a business that i would like to pursue.
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I retired back in January. Forced retirement since we moved to Tokyo, but it was time anyways. I'd been dancing since '05 and am/was burned out.
Yeah it freaks me out. I have to go buy business suits and actually be professional now. I dislike it-the restraints and all. But I still get to make my own hours as an independent contractor English tutor for the company lol. I can already feel myself chafing Against the rules and lower pay.
I think the longer your in stripping the harder it is too revert to a professional mentality and way of living.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Im terrified to be honest. I have been doing cam for 12yrs, escorting for almost a year now, and now getting ready to finish up my degree and go into accounting. Im looking at entry-level (which actually isnt bad at all compared to other professions, but still less than what I make now) and the hours are brutal, Id be looking at 8-6 and worse during season. Plus of course, the dealing with a boss, which actually doesnt scare me as much as dealing with co-workers. Im absolutely terrified.
The only thing that motivates me right now is knowing that I will get used to it. I mean at one point of m life, I was in the Army, with a very strict schedule I had to keep, was up at 5 and worked 12hr days. If I could do it once, its in me to do it again. Also, like I said, the entry level pay isnt so bad, and the raises are pretty big and consistent, especially if I get my CPA. And the best part of all of it...to me anyway, is that I can maybe finally be in a real and healthy relationship without having to worry about how to tell a guy about my job, and not just be accepted, but actually respected for what I do. That right there is the biggest motivator for me at this point in my life. Im 35 and dont want to die alone :D Yeah, Im going through a mid-life crisis though, so the whole die alone thing if I stay in the industry is a real fear of mine at the moment.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
I don't think you should be worried. For me, personally, having a straight job has been an incredible experience in so many ways. I am SO glad I finished up my degree; my current job doesn't even interview candidates without bachelors degrees.
I have sick pay, vacation, flex spending, 401k matching, a steady paycheck, I get to use my entire brain at work, I have a gorgeous, sunny work environment with my own office, casual dress code, insane insurance ($50/month, everything covered, no copays)...AND I can dance on the side for extra income when I want to do so. Hell, even paying taxes this year was an enjoyable experience...I'm getting over $1,000 back instead of having to pay out 45% of my income as an independent contractor. (obviously I understand that I'm getting money back because I overpayed them, but I'm so used to paying taxes as an IC and having to give up tons of money quarterly)
Granted, not everyone has the opportunity to fall into a job like this out of college. That being said, even if I didn't have this job, my ideal situation would be to have a day job and supplement that with the sex industry. In the name of full disclosure, I burned out of the industry after four years of dancing...but I'm no longer burned out, and this is still my ideal situation. If I were to drop the day job, I'd burn out pretty damn quickly again. And then I'd be spending two days before work dreading going in, recovering for three days afterwards, my relationship would suffer as a result, etc etc (been there!).
I hated the pressure of feeling like I had to make a certain amount of money to validate my self-worth. This is just my experience.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
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Originally Posted by
Kaylee84
That (more than likely) right when we stop dancing and take on our careers, we are going to have to deal with bosses, strict schedules, 9-5's (more than likely), and half ass paychecks?
My boyfriend really slapped me in the face with this yesterday, and when I really see myself working hard for little (the opposite of my life now) it scares the shit out of me.
Does anyone else feel this way?
And, just for fun, what are your plans after dancing?
I've been there and its not so bad. As long as you're doing what you love, it won't matter. And you don't necessarily have to work a 9-5. You can start your own business. You can still be an independent contractor. There are lots of options. Just figure out what you want to do.
Just save up now. Pay off schooling, a quality car, a few luxury items, furniture, appliances, everything. Then post-dancing, all you'll be paying for is your rent/mortgage, insurance, food, and basic bills, all with a nest egg & an emergency fund. That's more than most new grads can say. The extra expenses (combined with the "keeping up with the jones'" mentality) is what keeps them poor. Even if I was really rich, I would still have modest everything. When someone thinks you look rich, they tend to try to use you or leech off you anyway.
I am actually fully retiring from dancing after this summer. Then I'm going to stick with camming and building content full time for the next 5-7 years or until the money slows a lot. Then I'm going back to being a makeup artist, probably advertising or stage makeup this time. If I get burned out on that, I'll go back to grad school and finish my MFT program I dropped out of. Or maybe do a MSW. If I get burned out on that, then I'd like to open an art gallery. Between all those options, I'm happy.
But we're young, we have a lot of time to think about these things. And with the way technology changes the world, who knows what kind of jobs will be available (or won't be) in the future. My vote is to do what you love and learn several trades.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Also, I should say that you may think it sucks working 9-5, but what you don't realize is that 75% of everyone you know ALSO works 9-5, so when they are all free to hang out, you often can't. Its definitely a tradeoff. I actually prefer to work mornings/days (camming) these days.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Another benefit, which Im not sure if you'll be able to relate.. For me, meeting new people means a new client. I know other ladies in the biz, most of what we talk about is biz related and my social life is really sort of blah. Most of my friends are musicians, so they spend all day in the studio or at rehersal, and and evenings working...forget about weekends...they are all on the job. My luck, the musicians I know all have real careers in music and dont have hardly any free time.
As corny as it sounds, I miss the office parties, I miss complaining when the guy in engineering (for example, at my last office job lol) made coffee, cause he made the worst coffee ever... I miss meeting up with the few cool people I worked with for drinks after work, the yearly golf tournaments, all that stuff. And it gives me something interesting to talk to friends about too...they always tell me about their jobs, but I have nothing to talk about in return. Being an escort is more isolating than stripping but still, I can imagine the whole "intellingent conversation" thing would be a benefit to anyone.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Im actually excited to get into the work force (3 more years and Im there since im in school). Stripping will always be there. As for the bosses, and times - whatever thats life and thats how most people live. If you like the job, you do it, you get experience, but at the same time you meet people, learn new things, get benefits, a stable salary. Starting your own business is the way to go if you want to do something simialar, but self made owners work double the amount than an average worker, and it takes certain characterists to make a business work and profit. Anyone can start a business, but will you be making income?
Start saving now, put money into stocks, RRSPs, TFSA, etc. The money starts bulding up when you know what you're doing, then you can start your own business, even work part time to get into a "regular" person timetable. Im honestly excited to start in the work force, my skill will be useful for everyone and me so landing a job with finances will be needed somehow. If you enjoy and have interest it shouldnt be that difficult to enjoy when entering the work force, as for employment and demand thats a diffierent point. Overall, you can always buy out a business too. My dad did that recently from his boss and the money is going to start raking in for him. You gotta work your butt off no matter what in order to to get somewhere - I remember he would work about 80hrs a week for 4 years and now he owns a succussful business , whether its stripping or an office job, nothing comes easily.
Right now Im in school but dancing in order to pay for rent, bills etc, save here and there a little, Then going back full-time in Sept for finance/marketing. The only thing that concerns me is me being a female in the business world, sounds silly I know, but I do think females are still not considered on the same level as a male in the business world. Another thing is that moving up the ladder will take longer for various of reasons. In the end I want to work for myself (while maybe keeping the fulltime job) and giving financial reports/advice to people, but at home with my own hours instead of a company.. I do want a stable salary.. thats my what I want after dancing, dancing made me despresed and stressed that I know its time to quit when I can!
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
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Originally Posted by
GlamourRouge
Also, I should say that you may think it sucks working 9-5, but what you don't realize is that 75% of everyone you know ALSO works 9-5, so when they are all free to hang out, you often can't. Its definitely a tradeoff. I actually prefer to work mornings/days (camming) these days.
^^^^this is so true. *sigh* on my nights off, I'm waking up at 3 in the afternoon. I already have text messages, but I have to eat my breakfast and shower. By the time I'm ready to have some fun, everyone has about an hour left in them before they're off to bed. Then I'm bouncing off the walls looking for someone to hang out with. Yes, dancing can be isolating.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
I knew getting into this industry that my time would be limited to under 5 years, as I have plans to move onto cosmetology school in the fall and leave this behind. I will forever be grateful for the money I've been able to make, the people I have met/worked with, and what dancing has afforded me. In that aspect, I am both blessed and thankful.
No, I am not scared.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Another thing I thought of....being in this industry really gives us an advantage, especially in this economy. The prospect itself of taking a risk by going to school to get a degree in a job, then heading out to find said job isnt as scary for us as the people who, they *have* to find that job, and if they have problems, burn through whatever savings they have, if they have one, or will take a lower paying job instead of holding out for a good one, because they have to make ends meet. At least for us, we will never be that desperate, we can always if needed, go back to stripping, camming, escorting, what have you and not go broke.
I say this cause, while reading up on accounting message boards (Im addicted to those things now lol I want to know whats in store for me...) Ive seen posts from people who got their degree, and now with student loans or a family to support or what have you, they only had a couple months before they would go for broke looking for a job, and ended up in some bookkeeper position making $20-30k less entry level for what their degree was worth. And then once they have that job, they are so busy working they dont have time to look for another better paying job, and end up stuck in that job, and just hoping they will get promoted from within at some point.
I know that has more to do with landing a job than working the job, but still, that is one aspect Im not so scared of. I will always have the adult industry to fall back on if I have to, and thats pretty comforting. Though I do fully intend to leave this behind for good once I do graduate and land a job.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
I actually look forward to it. I just quit dancing (I rang my boss 30min ago) and am now looking for bar/waitressing work, which I have always loved and is a great stepping stone back from dancing towards a normal job.
One day far in the future, I want that happy little family where we all get up in the morning, send the kids to school, work 9-5 jobs and have weekends off...etc etc. Very far in the future, but I don't plan on being nocturnal my whole life.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
It used to freak me out but I just do my own thing now. I've gotten a taste of what a good work life can really be like.
Use your hustling skills to hustle for yourself in your own business.
Hard work but totally worth it.
I always say if you have a good career or job you love, dance on Friday, Saturday or both until you can't dance anymore.
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Yeah it freaks me out. I have to go buy business suits and actually be professional now.
What? I like this part!
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kaylee84
That (more than likely) right when we stop dancing and take on our careers, we are going to have to deal with bosses, strict schedules, 9-5's (more than likely), and half ass paychecks?
My boyfriend really slapped me in the face with this yesterday, and when I really see myself working hard for little (the opposite of my life now) it scares the shit out of me.
Does anyone else feel this way?
And, just for fun, what are your plans after dancing?
Yup, it's precisely why I haven't yet. I just made a grand the other night... that's 2 and half times what my bf makes at a straight job in a week. How exactly do I give that up? My "real" job is in my back pocket for when I'm royally sick of/really can't do this anymore.... but til then...
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
...I am dancing BECAUSE I want access to a good job when I graduate uni. Or so that I will have the funding to start my own business. I like dancing, but I kind of cant wait until I won't "have" to anymore, like charlie's situation, good day job, but maintaining the option to be able to dance on the side.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Dancing is my career and when I plan on retiring, I'll have enough in savings and investment to last me comfortably.
I plan on opening a business if not a strip club when I retire from dancing for good.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kaylee84
That (more than likely) right when we stop dancing and take on our careers, we are going to have to deal with bosses, strict schedules, 9-5's (more than likely), and half ass paychecks?
My boyfriend really slapped me in the face with this yesterday, and when I really see myself working hard for little (the opposite of my life now) it scares the shit out of me.
Does anyone else feel this way?
I Knoooooooowwww! I can't imagine how "civilian" people work for a living! I mean... Ugh.
They have to stick to a set schedule, fulfill their responsibilities, interact professionally with co-workers & superiors, of course they make way less money than strippers, that is a fact.
Imagine the fact that some people can't choose to wake up at the crack of noon (or 4pm!) if they want to. They don't have the option of laying around in bed if they don't feel like working. When they work... they don't get compliments from inebriated strangers and constant reassurance in the form of a steady stream of single dollar bills . How do they survive?
You can't wear cute stretchy outfits, you can't toss a drink in someones face if things don't go right, more importantly most jobs don't let you drink at work... How on earth do the "normals" do it every day! When the folks that work civilian jobs come into their (eww!) offices, there are no hair & makeup people. There is usually no music, certainly no repeats of Warrant's perennial classic rock ballad, "Cherry Pie".
How the fuck do they get through the day??? I've wondered every time.
***SARCASM*** ***SARCASM*** ***SARCASM*** ***SARCASM*** ***SARCASM*** ***SARCASM*** ***SARCASM***
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
I know youre being sarcastic lol but I can tell you...when I got my restaurant job, I really did fuss "How do people do this?!!" I was making more than minimum wage, yet even with close to full time hours, wasnt making anywhere close to what I needed to survive. Which is why a lot of the people I worked with had 2 or 3 jobs... Working for two weeks and getting a paycheck equal to what I could make in a day or two on cam...or on one escort date really bit hard, and why I ended up quitting.
So...yeah, that whole mindset of "if I were doing xyz, Idve made $xyz by now" is something I want to retrain myself on, cause I do not want to do this forever..actually I cant. But people *do* do it, the only thing that stops any of us, if that is the path we want to take, is getting over being used to the benefits of working in the industry.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
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Originally Posted by
BlkSharpie
that whole mindset of "if I were doing xyz, Idve made $xyz by now"
I get what you are saying. I have been there, believe me!
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
I dont believe in building something up just to save face. Yes, I am scared of working way too long and hard for wayy too little money. Hence, I am scared of leaving dancing even tho my end is drawing near. Absolutely. Fear is a part of life that sooner or later we face or are forced to face in one way or another imho.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
My major issue with strippers hating on "normal" jobs is the blatant disregard of the glaring fact that the customers that come to clubs, (the people that blow thousands on rooms, dances and champagne), usually don't strip for a living.
Most are 9-5'ers.
They get paid enough to spend x-amount-of-dollars-$ at a strip club on frivolous entertainment and overpriced drinks!
I think some strippers miss the fundamental point that utilizing skills/talents in a "civilian" job doesn't have to be soul-crushingly-terrible-financial-death-sentence. Every job after stripping isn't going to result in less money. Many jobs (I would even say every job) has a period of time where employees have to pay their dues before they can make the big bucks.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
Perception is everything though...Im sure many of those guys coming into the club, if they found out their wife, daughter, sister, neice, what have you were working as strippers, they would consider it to be a soul crushing death sentence to a girls value, and would be pretty upset, even though they spend their hard earned money on strippers!
But honestly, I dont think this fear has anything to do with the customers or as a blow to what customers do to be able to afford to pay for adult entertainment... Besides that, anyone making a career change is scared. People who have been working one job, and then want to jump tracks to a new field are scared too...of the unknown, of starting at entry-level all over again, of wondering if they can hack it and if its worth leaving a job where they have experience and seniority...its perfectly natural.
Just google career change at 30, 40 etc...and you'll see a lot of the same things being said here, are being said by your typical 9-5'er. A lot of people coming out of the military are terrified of heading into the civilian world and workforce. So much so, that when existing the military, we all go through training courses to help us acclimate back into civilian life and have resources avail to us to help with the process. Major life changes are a big deal...worth it? Absolutely..but nothing wrong with feeling apprehensive about it.
The only shame involved is if one doesnt go after something they want because they let that fear hold them back.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
When u r a career dancer like me leaving this industry for anything outside of it is scary. I dont care what anyone says. That doesnt mean of course that I wont try hard for other endeavors of course. Most entry level jobs do not pay, just the way it is.
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Re: Does it ever scare you to think?
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Originally Posted by
BlkSharpie
Perception is everything though...Im sure many of those guys coming into the club, if they found out their wife, daughter, sister, neice, what have you were working as strippers, they would consider it to be a soul crushing death sentence to a girls value, and would be pretty upset, even though they spend their hard earned money on strippers!
You lost me, BlkShaprie.....
At what point were we discussing how customers could potentially perceive their relatives if they were working in a strip club? What does it have to do with a persons value? Where did that come from???
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Originally Posted by
BlkSharpie
But honestly, I dont think this fear has anything to do with the customers or as a blow to what customers do to be able to afford to pay for adult entertainment...
What?
Also, who said anything about shame??? (I'm too tired of copying quotes.... it's in the last sentence of your response though)