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Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
I'm going to share a story for and about jealous insecure people; especially men, and/or more specifically men in their mid-20's dating awesome women and fucking it up. This has always been a pet peeve, but lately it's been especially obvious, and after last Friday night... Well, one guy's bullshit set off a chain of events that affected or ruined at least 8 people's nights, 5 of which were completely innocent and unrelated to the drama, 3 of which were only distantly involved, and which culminated in a poor unsuspecting homeless guy getting peed on; and that's the last straw.
One of MM's closest dancer friends, we'll call her Kay, is married. Over the last 2.5 years, I've gotten to know Kay prety well too, she's a real friend of ours. Kay is 24, and her hubby is 25. Kay was not a dancer when they got hitched; they were struggling to put him through school, she brought up stripping as an option, discussed it, and he okayed the idea. Fast forward a couple of years - he's struggling with personal insecurities and other issues and projecting on her like crazy, to the point where their relationship is in serious jeopardy and he's trying to blame it all on her being a dancer 'cuz that's easy and he's lame. Also noteworthy is that Kay has NEVER cheated on him, ever; he HAS cheated, and often accuses her of same (again, personal insecurities). Anyway -
Kay has a regular, the kind you all love, expects nothing and sends her money even when he's out of town. All he asks in return is her attention and company in the club (which he also pays for) when he' IS in Vegas, and he likes her as arm candy OTC as well - takes her to dinner, concerts, etc - and again - pays for her time. This weekend, he asked MM to come along as well, and paid for her time as well. I have a buddy in town for the weekend.
So the setup is me & my buddy dropping Kay and MM off to accompany this guy to a concert ($400 each in addition to the tickets, dinner, etc) before work, while buddy and I go have some fun and eventually pick them up from the club and take Kay home before returning to our house. And that's how it begins. They're at the show, buddy and I hit up my favorite hookah bar/restaurant. While there, we meet 2 young attractive girls who are obviously looking for some fun that night - this is going well.
Then dude starts blowing up Kays phone at the concert. This results in Kay leaving their 6th row center section seats to deal with him. This eventually leads to MM following her out to see what's up and help her deal. Which eventually leads to MY phone ringing and them telling me what's up and that they might need to leave early, or if Kay's hubby calls MY phone what to say, blah blah. Which messes up the groove buddy & I have going with the two hotties over hookah. In the meantime, custie is annoyed that he's shelled out plenty of cash for two girls who aren't even in the show with him - luckily he knows they're both in relationships and that Kay's guy is drama and is cooler than you might think about it all.
ANYWAY - at one point, I am asked to come get them. There is a UFC event, the Mayweather fight, and 3 concerts in town and it's Cinco. Traffic is BAD. Buddy and I are grouchy that we had to leave what was obviously going to be some fun to do this for no reason other than Kay's dude being a dick. And just as I hit the no-going-back-nowhere-to-go part of traffic, I realize that I have to piss. Over the course of the next 30 minutes and 4 blocks (THAT kind of traffic), this becomes "the worst need to piss in my entire life and there's nothing I can do about it".
MM & Kay have been waiting outside for 45 minutes, custie is waiting with them being nice but really not too happy, buddy and I left two girls high and dry and cut OUR night short, and I'm stuck in traffic with a ready to burst bladder. All because of one asshole's insecurity and drama.
2 blocks from the pickup point. I'm about to dump out my remaining Dew and piss in the bottle, no joke, because there are NO options. I see a Quick Care that is closed, only building and only pull-out until the hotel. Takes 3 more minutes to get there. I pull into the parking lot and drive behind the locked building - empty out of view lot with a nice clump of trees and bushes in back. This is happening. I get out and stagger (ever have to pee so bad you can't walk right?) over to the bushes, and start to pee. I hear a muffled "HEEeeey duuuude..." and it freaks me out - I look over my shoulder to see if my friend is messing with me, when I see motion in the bushes. I am peeing ALMOST on a homeless guy who has found this spot to be a great place to crash. I apologize and move over a couple bushes, and luckily he's too drunk to do more than mumble "no problem" and pass back out.
Takes 15 more minutes to get to the girls. We take them to the club, and by this point we just hang there cuz FUCK that traffic. 4 AM, take Kay home, we all go home exhausted and frustrated.
Kay's night was completely ruined, but it's her guy so that's just the way it is. MM is her buddy, and I'm her SO, so we're gonna be involved anyway - but that's still 2 people for whom this guys bullshit is twice removed. My buddy was just wanting to have a fun night in Vegas, and Custie didn't really get the evening out he paid for and waited 45 extra minutes to see them safely off, so that's 2 more people three times removed that he fucked over. 2 girls none of us knew were left looking for different guys to hook up with, and they're 4 times removed from this shit. And if I'd still been in the hookah bar, I could have just used the damn bathroom, but no - some poor drunk 5 times removed from the drama of some guy he's never even heard of got peed on.
Remember this story the next time you start some shit with your SO for no good reason and you think it's nobody elses business. There's a homeless guy out there who doesn't need the extra stress.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
I understand completely. I became a shut-in (for lack of a better term) for precisely these kinds of events. I began to question whether or not "going out on the town" is all worth it.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
I have dealt with guys like Kay's husband and they make it hard for everyone. At first I thought this was going to be about people pissing on a homeless guy for fun (have heard of that and was horrified)but glad to know it was a just a mistake. Personally I think Kay's husband sounds like a douche but the regular a terrific guy and I've had customers like him.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
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Originally Posted by
Kellydancer
I have dealt with guys like Kay's husband and they make it hard for everyone. At first I thought this was going to be about people pissing on a homeless guy for fun (have heard of that and was horrified)but glad to know it was a just a mistake. Personally I think Kay's husband sounds like a douche but the regular a terrific guy and I've had customers like him.
You come across as a sweet woman. It is nice to see there are people like you out there.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
It is crazy how people create so much drama out of nothing. She's working and she makes a scene in front of a generous customer AND her friend runs out with her and leaves the guy alone because of a jealous childish boyfriend? Ever heard of the silent button? Or better yet, the POWER button? If I were that customer, I'd dump her for someone more professional and considerate because that was a waste of over $1500. (both ladies tickets plus his tickets, their compensation, drinks etc)
This is the only really long thread I bothered to read even after seeing how long it is...and I am disappointed.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
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Originally Posted by
JoJoX
It is crazy how people create so much drama out of nothing. She's working and she makes a scene in front of a generous customer AND her friend runs out with her and leaves the guy alone because of a jealous childish boyfriend? Ever heard of the silent button? Or better yet, the POWER button? If I were that customer, I'd dump her for someone more professional and considerate because that was a waste of over $1500. (both ladies tickets plus his tickets, their compensation, drinks etc)
This is the only really long thread I bothered to read even after seeing how long it is...and I am disappointed.
lolol
Yeah, this really isn't about some jealous insecurity... I mean she knows she has a freakin husband. If he's not ok w/ otc she can just suck it up & turn it down, lie to him & sneak, or figure something out. But doing it anyway and then taking his call & walking out midway? Boo-urns.
Really I can see how an SO would not be ok w/ OTC. She should've passed on it if she couldn't committ to the evening.
And when I'm out on a date w/ anybody.... paid, free, hot, ugly, whatever... no taking phone calls! So unladylike!
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
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Originally Posted by
missykrissy
lolol
Yeah, this really isn't about some jealous insecurity... I mean she knows she has a freakin husband. If he's not ok w/ otc she can just suck it up & turn it down, lie to him & sneak, or figure something out. But doing it anyway and then taking his call & walking out midway? Boo-urns.
Really I can see how an SO would not be ok w/ OTC. She should've passed on it if she couldn't committ to the evening.
And when I'm out on a date w/ anybody.... paid, free, hot, ugly, whatever... no taking phone calls! So unladylike!
yeah, i stopped doing the OTC thing when i started dating my boyfriend. and youre so right! walking out in the middle of their "date" was not cool. what escort take calls and then gets into an argument with their boyfriend in front of the client and then leaving the client when the date isnt over?
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
I didn't go into a lot of detail about the specifics of her relationship, the customer, or the concert and how it went down because that wasn't the point I was getting at. Interesting where you took it though, lol.
What I was after with this story is how people's drama affects others around them, something we all deal with, but the degrees of separation and butterfly effect were particularly obvious and evident this night. It's usually more subtle and/or not as obviously far-reaching.
I thought this would spawn more conversation about these types of people and how their insecurity results in selfish behavior and a complete lack of recognition for how it affects others. I guess not... :shrug:
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
Nope.
Let's talk about me. :)
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
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Originally Posted by
Almost Jaded
I thought this would spawn more conversation about these types of people and how their insecurity results in selfish behavior and a complete lack of recognition for how it affects others
Sorry, I don't buy any of that. if someone gives you a gift and you refuse it, who does it belong to?, if someone gives you drama and you refuse it, to whom does it belong?.
I agree with the other posters, if the girl had a jealous husband, depending on her relationship with him, she should have A)Refused OTC B)Lied C) Not taken any of the calls. Either one of those options, you and your buddy get to have friends with the 2 girls, the client likely winds up having a good time with 2 girls (whether or not your friend was one of them) and the bum doesn't almost get peed on.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
All I was saying is that there was more to it than "they went to a concert and she took his calls". The specifics of their relationship and what went on and why she took his calls weren't the relevant issue.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Almost Jaded
I thought this would spawn more conversation about these types of people and how their insecurity results in selfish behavior and a complete lack of recognition for how it affects others. I guess not... :shrug:
OH........see I thought it was a thread about not taking personal responsibility and how to direct blame to others for peeing on a homeless person.:)
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Almost Jaded
I thought this would spawn more conversation about these types of people and how their insecurity results in selfish behavior and a complete lack of recognition for how it affects others. I guess not... :shrug:
I think what derailed such a response was the title of your thread: "Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people."
I was very surprised to read at the end that it was you who did the peeing and not the jealous, insecure person.
Anyway, please bear with me a little on this, because I think it might be helpful.
In the law there is the term "proximate cause," which is used to determine fault and damages in tort cases. There's a whole range of tests and case law used to determine proximate cause that I won't get into, but it's enough to understand that the reason the term and the concept exist is to identify within a string of actions what was the essential, proximate cause of some form of damages.
I think you would agree, for example, that if while driving to pick up MM and her friend you ran a red light and a cop pulled you over to write you a ticket, that your defense would not be: "But I shouldn't even be out driving on this road right now and the only reason I'm even here is because some asshole caused drama."
The selfish insecure behavior by the husband was only responsible for putting you on the road. The selfish behavior did not cause you to pee on the homeless person. Just to make the point a little bit clearer, here were the other causes of the pissed-on homeless person, the last three of which are closest to proximate:
1. The route you chose to take to the concert.
2. The traffic due to the holiday and the pro fight.
3. The fact that you had to pee so badly, which was because you had been drinking a lot in the hookah bar with the two new girls.
4. The clinic that you chose as your spot for emergency bathroom relief.
5. The exact spot you chose as your spot for emergency bathroom relief.
It's natural as a first reaction to blame others ("Damn it, I shouldn't even be out here!") and I certainly understand that as a first reaction. But the people reading your thread are not frustrated enough to do that psychological deflection, and were probably as surprised as I was to find that you were the one doing the peeing.
You have always struck me as a generous person and I'm sure you were horrified to find yourself peeing on a homeless person. But you have to admit, I think, that the jealous, insecure person -- who clearly is an asshole for other reasons -- had really nothing at all to do with the poor homeless guy's getting peed on. Right?
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
You know the more I read this, the more it reminds me of a friend of mine who had a situation like this with her husband, only he was jealous of the rock band not a customer. I don't think anyone peed on a homeless person though (though sometimes the lead singer looks like he's homeless).
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
Key should have turned her GD phone off. I have to blame her as much as her douchebag husband.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
AJ
I understand you know these people so you prob have strong feelings in regards to her husband, but really she needs to woman up and make her decisions regarding her marriage. her problems are not everyone's problems.
I don't see what she did as being any different than if I went to work and took my cell phone out on the floor and took calls during lap dances, then wanted sympathy because my bf is calling me and being a douche. Um no.
Does this girl intend to give her customer back his money for the evening or pay him back for her ticket?
As an aside, I'm tired of everyone labeling any SO who doesn't want their girl dancing or their man going to the SC as insecure. How silly. I've met men while dancing that I could tell were turned off by it so I just kept it moving but I don't think they were insecure they just didn't want to date a dancer. There are dozens of reasons why and a lot of them make sense.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
Lemiwinks - that was fuckin' hilarious.
All Good Things - Your point is spot on. Of course he was not responsible in a direct, court-of-law sort of way; I know that, lol. The thread title was tongue in cheek; the point, however, is not. Anyone remember the children's book "The Little Bug That Went Ka-Choo"? A little bug sneezes and scares a bigger animal that runs and scares another animal and so on, until there results a whole chain of events that causes all matter of mayhem through the town. I thought of that book (which I've not laid eyes on in 25 or so years) when I got home that night. That train of thought ultimately led to what I thought was a funny/serious view on things that would make for a funny/serious story post and a discussion-starting thread.
*sigh* As for the Kay and her hubby and the custie and the phone thing... It would appear hat there is no way to avoid the topic, although I would really like to.
Kay's hubby has issues that go way beyond the events portrayed here. The guy basically has no business being in a relationship at all right now, he's a mess. And they've been married 4 years now, and Kay has been VERY, VERY supportive throughout the relationship, has done everything possible to help him through a whole slew of issues that frankly almost all started with him in the first place. He was her first serious relationship and she saved herself for marriage; she has a level of commitment here that is rare indeed these days. And she’s beautiful, wickedly intelligent, awesomely fun to be around, and an all-around great catch that he’s retarded for screwing up with.
He had no problems with her dancing when it was a way to pay their bills while he went to school. He had no problems with her dancing for some time afterward when she decided to keep dancing and made it a career choice and was bringing in $2k a week or more. He was always the “check in with me type” of minor control freak, but that’s not terribly uncommon. It was when he couldn’t find work after graduation that the real issues started. He couldn’t handle all the down time and her being the sole breadwinner. He started acting crazier and crazier. She told him fine, I’ll quit dancing – he freaked out at THAT too, because he knew they couldn’t pay their bills if she did. She was damned if she did/didn’t and he gave her no options.
He suddenly made her start getting her tats removed “because they make you look slutty” (he was there when she got them and loved them back then). He started making her stay with him every minute she wasn’t at work, wouldn’t let her go out with friends AT ALL unless he was there, and so on – classic insecure control freak stuff. Then HE got caught cheating.
She left him. They separated for a while, she moved back o Cali. She kept dancing. He talked her into coming back; she was very cautious about it. She came back to Vegas, but got separate apartments. Took months before they were moved back in together. During this time, she did not date or sleep with anyone. We found out later that he did. In any event, they moved back in together and everything was great for a while.
He started having car problems with the POS Sebring he never should have vought, and let it get repossessed rather than fix it. Suddenly her car was “their car”, which meant he took it whenever he damn well pleased and dropped her off and picked her up. He wanted his own car, but still had the repo and wasn’t making enough to buy one anyway. He made her save up the down payment by – yep, continuing to dance. All the while, the accusations started again, the controlling behavior started again.
Skip ahead a little. She has this regular. He knows all about her hubby. He’s a REALLY cool guy – I’ve hung out with him a few times, he’s good people. And he really cares about Kay and just likes helping her out and does so by paying more than he needs too for her time. He and I have a lot in common in our views of stripper/customer relations in fact – one of the reasons I like him.
Hubby knew about the concert. He said it was fine because MM was going too. All he asked was that if he needed to reach her, she be reachable. Custie was aware of this before she agreed to go, he understood that hubby would probably call a few times, he knows the score there. So it wasn’t unexpected.
Last minute, hubby decides he’s not okay with this “date”. Kay tells him it’s too late, tickets are paid for, plans made, deal with it. He calms back down and says fine. When he called at the show, she went out into the casino to take the call. This led to the immediate accusation that she wasn’t at a concert because he heard slot machines, not Styx. Explaining why didn’t help. He demanded that she put MM on the phone to prove her whereabouts. Thinking this would calm him down and end it, she went back in and asked MM to talk to him. It didn’t help, he now decided that MM is a whore and is trying to drag Kay into a pattern of lying and cheating blah blah. It got really stupid.
Anyway, they DID eventually go back into to the show. Custie was cool about it.
Hubby called again and she ignored it. Then he texted that he was packing his shit and divorcing her. THAT got a reaction.
After the show, she asked custie if he would mind spending the rest of their time together ITC. That way hubby could come down and talk to her and she could straighten everything out. He agreed. I got the call to come get them and take them to the club.
This led to the events in the OP.
Not mentioned in the story is that by the time we got there, hubby had come and gone, and said that it shouldn’t take almost an hour to get from Planet Hollywood to the club and it was proof she was fucking the customer. She cried in the DR for a while before coming back out on the floor and hanging with custie and me & my buddy, but she gave custie his time.
It has been quite a situation ever since, MM & I have been dragged into it, it’s just plain stupid. At this point, she’s finally ready to leave him for good, and is letting him continue digging his hole while making plans to get out.
That was a summary and a simplification, there was still more to it, but I hope (probably futilely) that this quells THAT conversation.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
again, she should have turned the phone off.
If the phone is off, he can't blow it up, he can't text, and he can't fuck things up for her.
OTOH, he sounds like a douche. What does he bring to this relationship? Maybe she'd be better off without him. Why is she with him?
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
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Originally Posted by Mr Hyde
...What does he bring to this relationship? Maybe she'd be better off without him. Why is she with him?
Finally! This is the closest we've been to on-topic since I started this, lol.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
It sucks you didn't get to have your fun but you're in Vegas. I'm sure that night will repeat the way you want it. :-P
That girl lost a cool customer.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
sounds like you know more about their relationship than your own biography, lol
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
Truth is, that custie sounds like a better catch than her douchebag husband.
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT - the last post was almost 2 years ago Clara, lol
Funny to see this again - I'd forgotten about it.
FWIW - they got divorced shortly after this thread was posted, and she still has that regular, though he doesn't spend quite as much as he used to.
She has not COMPLETELY learned her lesson though, as she continues to date seriously messed up guyswith control issues, lying issues, and cheating problems. :(
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Re: Jealous, insecure people in bad relationships pee on homeless people. Seriously.
I think you should sell this story for one of those Directv/cable commercials
Don't pee on homeless people, get directv................