Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
I have to go back to dancing. I have one skill and it is spa industry related and does not pay well. I have worked a normal 9-5 the past 8 months and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I would like to go HARD (like I used to) and go back to school to get a real skill.
I'm terrified of getting caught up. I have danced all over but the last few years of my stripping career were rocky. Its always been difficult for me to maintain a balance in my life when I dance. I felt that I became addicted to the money and the chase of the money. Thankfully, working a 9-5 taught me to budget. The first few years I was like an energizer bunny and nothing could get me down. Then something happened. I was miserable. I was drinking way too much. I hated my life.
So, I went on a semi-spiritual path. I've always been a spiritual type person. Then I met a guy, and I stopped dancing.
Left the dude, have a little bit of money saved, but now what.
The summer is slow everywhere, so I wouldn't start up again til fall. I have a plan but I'm so so so scared of losing myself in the process.
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
You need to set boundaries where you have your issues with dancing so it stays a job and doesn't become a lifestyle. If you tend to drink too much at work, either go totally sober or set a limit on the number of drinks you have. Drive so you will be most likely to hold yourself accountable to this rule if you need an extra push. If you get caught up with the money and can't balance your life then either get on a schedule or set your schedule so you have enough time to take care of all your responsibilities. Make sure you take 2 days off a week AT LEAST and make sure you have at least one day a week that is just for "you". I think going back to school is a great idea but it will be even harder to balance dancing and school so I'd recommend you start somewhere over the summer, even if it is slow. That way you can get back in the groove and take your time with it. Gooood luck!
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
Thanks for your resposne!
I was actually drinking more outside of work, then in the club. I was really depressed. I don't drink at ALL anymore (maybe a few drinks a month?).
I think setting a schedule would be great. I'm trying to journal a lot more and put things down on paper instead of keeping it on my IPad. Writing things out supposedly gives your idea more power, than typing it. (who knows if thats true, but I'd like to believe it :) ). I like the idea of taking two days off, and having one day to focus on me!!!
Actually may start a blog once I start back. Not 100% sure of this.... but I feel publically setting my goals will help me achieve them. Even if it is anonymous ;)
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
I actually feel guilty bc I feel I should be working more actually...Sorry if Im not totally on topic...I feel like I lose myself when I work 5 days dancing actually..But I feel the 3 or so nights isnt enough..Like I should be working more since Im getting to the end of my dancing career..But then i think about how the customers rnt going to want to see me at the same club 5 days a week..They get burnt out on seeing u and u get burnt out on seeing them..Both of which rnt good.. I balance that some with working at multiple clubs. but I just get burnt out even worse on the 5 day dancing plan...
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
camille27
god, the lifestyle is the best part of all this nonsense. otherwise, it's just dancing for sexual deviants.
you know your fear. you've named it. you want to maintain your identity. you want to make money and get the fuck out. you want boundaries that you will not permit anyone to cross. you want to feel like you cannot be compromised. so tell the universe and let it be. you've months until fall. you have plenty of time to practice boundaries.
I love "tell the universe and let it be". Thanks :)
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shift_6x
I actually feel guilty bc I feel I should be working more actually...Sorry if Im not totally on topic...I feel like I lose myself when I work 5 days dancing actually..But I feel the 3 or so nights isnt enough..Like I should be working more since Im getting to the end of my dancing career..But then i think about how the customers rnt going to want to see me at the same club 5 days a week..They get burnt out on seeing u and u get burnt out on seeing them..Both of which rnt good.. I balance that some with working at multiple clubs. but I just get burnt out even worse on the 5 day dancing plan...
On your off days do you do something for YOU? Something you love? Treat yourself?
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
yep im all about balance...... i got caught up in it a bit when i was just dancing and nothing else, i was constantly spending money on shit and going out partying....
having something during the day helps. my fashion business keeps me grounded and makes dancing feel like a job, as im using the money i made there to spend on business expenses. i also go for nice walks, galleries, museums etc. i hardly mindlessly shop anymore n basically just spend my off days doing things i like doing that doesnt involve drinking, partying or shopping.
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
Another thing that helps is staying grounded by still talking to family and friends. If you go to school and just dance on the weekends you have to stay balanced and you really have a purpose for dancing. That's what I did, danced my way through college. It was when I graduated I had problems... I would have been better off if I went right into a career.
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
Yeah I feel ya.... I just have gone thru phases where I was completely materialistic, money hungry, hustling psycho. I am very competitive and got addicted to the money. I also hung out with some pretty scandalous, evil women at the time so that didn't help either. Cut those chicks off, got a skill, got a normal job... Going back is kinda frightening. I do have my goals in mind and so does my travel partner.
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
M!NX
On your off days do you do something for YOU? Something you love? Treat yourself?
I try..but everything is kinda all over the place..trying to get personal life straightened out...I do treat myself plus i think alot of myself already despite my admitted flaws..Im not one of those types that overly beat myself up over stuff..i even spoil myself and let others do the same..
Re: Scared of getting caught up in "the lifestyle". I need your help.
Make friends who don't dance. What had kept me sane these past couple of years is dancing and not associating myself with the other dancers outside of work. That's all it is anyways - work. Keep it professional, & remember you're there to make money, that's it.