Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
Hello Incantatious, 1st of all i wish to thank u for taking the time to analyse and comment on my post, i highly appreciate the time and effort, i feel u really want to help me. Yes i admit i am very frustrated and burnt out regarding my camming activity, that's a personal issue by now and i just dont know how to deal with it.
I have huge issues regarding my looks, i see myself not attractive, i deal with this feeling since i am a child, i was always rejected for the way i look like (i have a particular figure).
Then i have issues for doing camming, this job started as a temporary job and it extended to over 10 years working in this field. I am not happy doing this job, i am not myself, i wish i could do something i am proud of and able to tell people what i do, i hate to hide, i have no friends anymore, no man in my life, i dont trust people, i hate to have a secret life simply, i am poor, i come from a poor family, in a way i am lucky to be able to make some money that keep us going but on the other hand i wish my life could be different.
I will try to make a long story short so u can all understand where all these comes from: i am an adopted child and after my actual parents took me they had 2 boys of their own. As a child i always felt rejected and mistreated, i guess they just felt sorry for taking me but they could not return me. When i was still in high-school they decided to marry me to a guy telling they are not able to support me in school anymore so if i dont wanna marry him i should leave school and find my way out.
I had no option but marry this guy i did not love because i wanted to finish high-school, studies were very important to me, i was dreaming to go to university also and become a doctor.
But of course my marriage failed and i saw myself with a 8 month old baby boy living with a man who did not care about us and kept us starving while he was getting drunk every day. so here i decided i cant stand it anymore and went to divorce, i had my family support (kinda late for me, they understood what mistake they did) but everything was soo difficult to go thru these all. I had my parents watching for my son till he was 7, i had several jobs in between, money were just not enough to pay bills, feed myself and send money for my son too, here where i live women are not paid well especially if u have just high-school studies (of course i could not go to college or university, i barely had money to survive and my ex did not give a cent for his son over the years).
So i found this studio hiring models, i went there and got hired, i was 25 yo, slim and enthusiastic, after a few months i met a guy online that helped me work from home 'temporarily' till he'll make the arrangements to marry me and take me and my son with him.
Things did not move fast enough for us and we been in a long distance relation for like 5 years, in time our relation became toxic and degraded until i decided i had enough, the guy was bossy, controlling, he gave me hard times, many tears and hurt me and my business.
Imagine myself, trying to work and make money so i can be at home with my son and provide what he needed, i am still in this situation, he is 17 now and has another year in high-school till he finishes it; in 2007 i decided to go get me a job so i can have medical insurance and all rights in case something happens, i was working till 2009 when due to recession the company i was working for had to close down business and i could not find another job with the right money, had to get back online and here again since then.
Now if i go for a job there is a problem with my CV cause i was officially working very little (so no working experience for them but i know i work since i was 21 yo) and i just cant tell about camming work, so with my working background plus age i cant get a decent wage to cover my expenses (only if i get the job as a camming trainer at this studio i got in contact with).
For me is a real torture to get online to work, no matter how hard i try and act looks like guys feel my inner vibes, for me is a barrier i cant get thru, i dont know how to deal with this situation.
As i said in my 1st post, no offence for girls able to do what they do in their shows, i meant for my own standards even showing my nude body on cam is degrading. but what is more important, the way i feel about camming or the fact that i need to keep a roof over our heads and have food on the table? what would u choose if u were (are) a responsable parent? btw, my ex died in 2009 after years of not caring for his own son, what punishment can be harder than this? i felt revenged really, god forgive me. as i said, for now the most important thing is to keep us going, when my son will be able to work and bring in some money too then i can see other working options for myself, till then i have to carry on and do what i can, if happy or not online, i do what i have to do.
Thank u again for your input, will take ur valid points into consideration when i'll sign on to work, god bless u all good people.
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
Thanks for all the support! :)
I personally believe she will pull it off. I just had to ask here first :). Some girls underestimate the value of human interaction and contact. Guys are willing to pay to talk to a super cute girl who is always in a great mood. She may not make as much $$ as the girls who decide to strip but her goal of 20-30$/day seems realistic and she is a very hard worker she has basically 8 hours/day free for this job. She lives in the 3rd world but is a graduated medical doctor and drop dead gorgeous. She is a single mother and very very motivated and 20$/day is a LOT to her. She looks like she is 19 so she has the age thing going for her.
We are basically planning on letting people know that she is non-nude and offers just her great personality and honest care and attention for chatting in private or free...we will see how it works and fine tune form there. She will not do any fetishes because she personally finds it wrong. But she more than makes up for it in looks and personality.
Thanks for all the encouragement!
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
She will make more than minimum wage, and most likely more than an average well paying job. Anything more than that is a bonus. To me it's a no-brainer :D
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
comstar -
She should do fine! I think the only input I could really is give at this point, is to ensure she has patience in dealing with a lot of guys who will likely bombard her with sexual requests. I think to someone who not only has absolutely no intention of catering to sexual requests, but also finds it 'wrong' atop of that, could be extra testing to her in terms of maintaining patience. As long as she won't be offended, flip out, get frustrated (due to the requests she will no doubt get that she could find testing), and just keep on targeting guys who she DOES want to cater to, she should do great.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AliceFun
Hello Incantatious, 1st of all i wish to thank u for taking the time to analyse and comment on my post, i highly appreciate the time and effort, i feel u really want to help me.
*hugs* You're more than welcome my dear. :)
Quote:
Yes i admit i am very frustrated and burnt out regarding my camming activity, that's a personal issue by now and i just dont know how to deal with it.
I have huge issues regarding my looks, i see myself not attractive, i deal with this feeling since i am a child, i was always rejected for the way i look like (i have a particular figure).
I understand how you feel. I suffered with a condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder for eight long years (to simplify: I believed I was physically disfigured and grotesque, which led me to being obsessional about my appearance, being addicted to cosmetics, and I lived a sheltered life as a result of this). It stole a huge portion my teenage years and early twenties, and caused me a lot of suffering. I was carted around various psychiatric institutions, put on long waiting lists, various meds, and forms of therapy. (I was initially worried about opening up here about this, because ZOMG SEX WORKER HAS PROBLEMZ! Lol, fuck it - everyone has problems, regardless of field of work).
If you are seriously finding it hard to embrace your physicality, I can give you advice on how to help raise your body image. Getting to the root of why you feel the way you do about your appearance can help, either through work books or the help of a qualified therapist. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) cured me. I went from believing that people were actually nauseated by my looks, and that I deserved to be shut away, to truly appreciating my appearance. To look at me now, you would never have guessed how badly I used to feel about my face and body.
If your issues began in childhood, it might help pin-point the start of where things started going awry which can help you untangle the problem. Mine also started in childhood. My father was distant so I seeked a boyfriend early on, when I was 15. Boyfriend, 7 years older than me, who have never had a girlfriend before me, was an argumentative, volatile, manipulative asshole with a huge temper, obsessed with downloading pictures of hot girls, (like seriously obsessed. He also used to photoshop pictures of me with the bodies of other women. Freaky as fuck), and argued with me to put makeup on. He hated if I didn't wear it. Because I wanted to cling onto him due to my fear of loneliness, I eventually obliged to his whims and felt my self-esteem hanging by the thread of what he wanted. (I highlight the process of my negative self-esteem because it may help you figure out where things may have gone wrong for you. These things usually begin in childhood).
Quote:
Then i have issues for doing camming, this job started as a temporary job and it extended to over 10 years working in this field. I am not happy doing this job, i am not myself, i wish i could do something i am proud of and able to tell people what i do, i hate to hide, i have no friends anymore, no man in my life, i dont trust people, i hate to have a secret life simply, i am poor, i come from a poor family, in a way i am lucky to be able to make some money that keep us going but on the other hand i wish my life could be different.
I dearly wish I could help you here, but I don't know what I can advise for this. I am planning on working in this industry for as long as I make good money from it. It is something I love, and something I feel proud of despite the weight of secrecy and stigma. I tell you this because I hope it might rekindle any flame you ever had working as a camgirl. I love to make men around the world happy. It brings me joy to know I give guys memorable shows and bring them enjoyment. I also love the flexibility it gives me and the chance to be creative. The beauty of this job IS that we can make out of it what we want and be our own bosses. These properties are deep luxuries many people cannot have.
Is there anything else in particular that you really want to do? Perhaps come up with your own business? Something creative, artistic, or turning a hobby you've enjoyed for years into some sort of business? There are still opportunities out there for you my dear. And as for friends, you still have us here. :) Perhaps you could go on a meet-up with your fellow colleagues who live nearby to you? It could really help you in many ways to reach out to women who are in the same position as you. I feel better even just going on the General Chat here sometimes! Knowing I am not alone really helps at times.
Quote:
I will try to make a long story short so u can all understand where all these comes from: i am an adopted child and after my actual parents took me they had 2 boys of their own. As a child i always felt rejected and mistreated, i guess they just felt sorry for taking me but they could not return me. When i was still in high-school they decided to marry me to a guy telling they are not able to support me in school anymore so if i dont wanna marry him i should leave school and find my way out. I had no option but marry this guy i did not love because i wanted to finish high-school, studies were very important to me, i was dreaming to go to university also and become a doctor.
But of course my marriage failed and i saw myself with a 8 month old baby boy living with a man who did not care about us and kept us starving while he was getting drunk every day. so here i decided i cant stand it anymore and went to divorce, i had my family support (kinda late for me, they understood what mistake they did) but everything was soo difficult to go thru these all. I had my parents watching for my son till he was 7, i had several jobs in between, money were just not enough to pay bills, feed myself and send money for my son too, here where i live women are not paid well especially if u have just high-school studies (of course i could not go to college or university, i barely had money to survive and my ex did not give a cent for his son over the years).
So i found this studio hiring models, i went there and got hired, i was 25 yo, slim and enthusiastic, after a few months i met a guy online that helped me work from home 'temporarily' till he'll make the arrangements to marry me and take me and my son with him. Things did not move fast enough for us and we been in a long distance relation for like 5 years, in time our relation became toxic and degraded until i decided i had enough, the guy was bossy, controlling, he gave me hard times, many tears and hurt me and my business.
Imagine myself, trying to work and make money so i can be at home with my son and provide what he needed, i am still in this situation, he is 17 now and has another year in high-school till he finishes it; in 2007 i decided to go get me a job so i can have medical insurance and all rights in case something happens, i was working till 2009 when due to recession the company i was working for had to close down business and i could not find another job with the right money, had to get back online and here again since then.
Now if i go for a job there is a problem with my CV cause i was officially working very little (so no working experience for them but i know i work since i was 21 yo) and i just cant tell about camming work, so with my working background plus age i cant get a decent wage to cover my expenses (only if i get the job as a camming trainer at this studio i got in contact with). For me is a real torture to get online to work, no matter how hard i try and act looks like guys feel my inner vibes, for me is a barrier i cant get thru, i dont know how to deal with this situation.
I am so sorry to read what you have been through.. It's still possible for you to be happy my dear. Please don't give up. Is it at all possible for you to get some help where you live - whether it be counselling or any kind of therapy? I just really feel you could use someone to talk to and get a good, steady, consistent form of help from. Even if you didn't go into detail about what camming entails, (say, for example if it is common for people in your area to be very much against it). You could just say that you work online. I feel it would benefit you in terms of self-esteem and mood to have some kind of network of support.
Quote:
As i said in my 1st post, no offence for girls able to do what they do in their shows, i meant for my own standards even showing my nude body on cam is degrading. but what is more important, the way i feel about camming or the fact that i need to keep a roof over our heads and have food on the table? what would u choose if u were (are) a responsable parent? btw, my ex died in 2009 after years of not caring for his own son, what punishment can be harder than this? i felt revenged really, god forgive me. as i said, for now the most important thing is to keep us going, when my son will be able to work and bring in some money too then i can see other working options for myself, till then i have to carry on and do what i can, if happy or not online, i do what i have to do.
Thank u again for your input, will take ur valid points into consideration when i'll sign on to work, god bless u all good people.
You are a fighter, and I know you can pull through this. Look upon it that you have survived the worst of it - you got through those hard times and you are still going, you are still working, you are still going strong and things will get better. I believe that by helping you get to the bottom of the things you have been through, you will be strengthened enough to work. If ever you want someone to chat to, about anything, please feel free to message me. <3
Sending you much, much love and positive vibes. Keep your chin up my dear. x
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
a bit off track here but..
@ AliceFun.. and @ msyelf and @ people in general.....
I seriously wonder... WHY
WHY x 1 million don;t they teach self respect, self dignity and self (re)assurance and.....
SELF LOVE! in SCHOOL, at an early age.
They should have a mandatory class for this!
World would be such a better place........
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
Thank u Incantatious for support, god bless u for offering real help, thank u Fridays for ur comments, i wish not to hijack the thread as this is not all about me and my drama but about how the OP needed to find answers regarding her friend working non nude category.
If i get rich one day i'll go get some therapy regarding my issues.
What i wrote here was triggered by the attitude of some girls saying things like: 'u expect ur friend will make money just by being nice and chatty?'
I must say i got hit heavily on SM for just being myself and offering the show type i am comfortable with, i got alot of trolls in my room in freechat insulting me for the way i look or act, some will be soo aggressive it got me in tears (off cam of course), on cam i always try to be cool and laugh about them.
To make things clear i'll tell about my experience with SM: before gold shows came up on site i was fine working there, i had my privates with people interested in what i had to offer and had my peace more or less with few attacks occurring now and again, i dealt with the situation so far.
But when things changed and i switched to party chat/ gold shows things changed badly for me, i'll get alot of people insulting me heavily, saying things like: 'oh, u really believe u can make money for looking like this? do u expect to be paid for sitting there doing nothing? i feel i'll vome right now, u disgusting, u soo ugly, u a pig, what is with that hair style? go to gym loose fucking weight, u horribly ugly', so on.
Ok so this was all happening in freechat - party mode where all people could see eachother texts and my answers, they could read the expression on my face and some will follow the rude ones. Yes u can block the bad people but they'll return.
So my conclusion was: these were the competition, models, studio bosses, haters, u name it. I was competing them, they wanted to put me down cause they needed paying members in their gold shows, by creating this atmosphere in my room they were pulling off my members with the idea of having them all for themselves. By rating me bad they made sure i'll go down on page so they can go up themselves.
Site became a jungle where certain models or their bosses will hunt down the competition.
The whole point is, some people will play dirty games in order to make money while putting others off business.
Furthermore site system is not helping cause there is no way to track who are the people playing these games, they allow multiple accounts for the same person, SM members are non traceable so u never know who is trolling u actually.
For the OP, ur friend might consider working on a site other than SM where things are arranged different, there are categories for non-nude (flirt) and these sites have strict rules regarding non-nude activity on cam, i wish her good big luck as she is a mom herself and fighting with life in order to bring her kid up and provide for him/her.
I for myself decided to sign on a site where they very strict regarding what can be done in free chat area, if u break the rules they really take action, they really monitor activity on site, i hope this will suit my style of work and bring me some better money than lately on SM.
I'll get back on SM when i read here things improve on that site, i'll use my new PC to make some money elsewhere till they get their things together if this will happen.
Have peace, i know i feel alot better now thanks to great people offering real support, Thank You again Incantatious!!
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
update: 20-50$ per hour 3 days in a row completely non nude non fetish just bubbly lively talk with a beautiful girl!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! :)
Yes we would have tried it anyway, but a little support can mean a lot sometimes!
I am SO happy right now!
PS I did not put her in the non nude category on SM she is with all the nude performers but she is not getting any negative reviews. Hope this helps others somehow.
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
Quote:
Originally Posted by
roast
blahahaha
this is hilarious and probably 100% true, camgirls who troll make $$ - sure you can research your options and test and retest, but if you want to have fun for gas or takeout money just be a paidtroll basically. Probably would be more fun for you and whoever stumbles into your room. you'll probably get a bunch of cranky reviews but the rest will get a kick out of it.
MFC seems to have a bunch of camgirl trolls who are hilarious and have decent camscores? Look, my final days of camming Im just trolling. Trolling as hard as I can. Some part of me feels like those final few weeks Ill make more than other weeks when I took camming seriously. I really hope that is true heh heh
This is so true.
I was logged in on SM friday just to check if my cam would look decent if I would splitcam.
Splitcam ALL the websites! And of course when you don't want them, guys come into your room as if you're shooting £1 coins out of your ass, so i was like lol fuck this I can't be bothered with privates here just want to check stuff.
So of course I got the "bb what u do in pvt?!?!?!!!" so trying to get rid of them I just started trolling "I'll write you a poem in pvt", "I'll show you how you make a proper sandwich in private" etc. Suprisingly.. guys went private and I had a private where 5 guys watched me making a sandwich..
Also got shitloads of gold because guys thought I was hilarious, my backstreet boys dancing and lip-syncing made me almost 50 gold during the song.
I have to do shit like that more often.
As for TS: tell your friend to try to sell the girlfriend experience, I'm on a Dutch website with forever aloners and think I get my tits out maybe twice a day the rest of the time I just spend sending them emails that I get paid for and talking about their job etc.
Re: girlfriend/non nude/ non fetish? question for a friend of mine
^^^ Hahaha, I concur! I'm naturally very dorky and like to make people laugh/don't take stuff really seriously at all, so I just get on MFC and goof off. The type of guys I actually ENJOY chatting with flock to my room and tip me for being awesome, while I pretty much get no beggars - maybe they can tell I couldn't give less of a fuck if they like me or not so they don't bother? XD Hopefully it lasts beyond my "new girl" status, cause I'm loving my job right now.