Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
I told my parents that I work as a cashier/hostess girl at a restaurant near my school. I know they will never go there. Or one day they might. But they've been asking how much I make, how many days I work, and do they provide food etc. It's annoying me because I don't like it when my parents are nosy about my job. Especially when my dad mooches off my mom. Is it possible to hide it from them forever? Or what is my backup story? I still live with parents by the way...
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
I don't talk to my mom, and my dad lives in canada, but my brother works in the same city I live and strip. He would flip his shit if he found out.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
If yuo want to stick to the working as a cashier/hostess, make up some concrete lines and stick to them. As in 'No they don't provide food', 'What I earn depends on how many tables I get and how many tips and how many people are working.
Do your parents charge you for living with them? IMO if they DON'T, then they're more entitled to see what you're up to and how you earn your money and what you earn. If they DO, then they have accepted you as an adult making your own way in the world and just living with them for whatever reason, convenience/practicality. You're entitled to more privacy if that's the case. Not everybody will agree just my 2cents :)
Also, are they being nosy, or are they just looking out for you? E.G of the food question, are they just wondering whether to cook for you that day/night, or are they prying?Rhetorical question :)
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
My parents are really old school/traditional. They don't charge me for living with them. But I do want to give them money soon. I am trying really hard to earn as much money as I can for the future. I want to be able to pay for my school tuition, car bills, and such without their help. I don't want them to stalk me at work or tell me to quit because they are cannot accept my decision of how I make my money. I really do WANT a car or my own place. They're not going to help me with that. And my loser dad always calling me the poorest girl on earth when he's been mooching off my mom for about 8 years. I definitely need to prove to them that I got my own money!!! I guess they are just nosy. They do cook everynight whether I am home to eat their meals or not.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
Good for you hun! Get earning, and get your own car/tuition paid and they can stop calling you.
I would take advantage of free living whilst you can though, if they're okay to live with aside from the prying :)
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
As long as you live under their roof, whether you pay them or not, they will not look at you as an adult. I would suggest moving out asap.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
^living on your own can be really stressful though, and it doesn't sound like the op will be able to depend on her parents to help her out if she gets I to financial trouble. Therefore I'd say to work on saving up as big a nest egg as you can, a few grand or so, to get you started. Movibgout is expensive: there's a down payment on an appartment, which, since you probably don't want your parents to co sign on, means you're going to have to save up a few months rent to put down, in lieu of having "paper" income to prove your ability to rent on your own. Then there's furniture, possibly a car, setting up utility accounts and Internet and able, all of which have acct. Fees usually. And if you're going to be on your own a few couple grand in savings would also be nice. So you can afford to take time off from work while you're moving and settling in, etc. But if you work a lot while living at home you shouldn't have a lot of other expenses so it shouldn't take you thaaaat long to save up and move out!
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
If you are a college student, you'll have no choice but to share details of your annual earnings when the time comes for your parents to file your FAFSA student loan / grant application next year. One of the entires is 'total household income', which must include both your parents' income as well as your own income.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
For taxes. I don't claim the exact amount of what I'm making. Example: Working 5 hr shift and making $300. I say I make $280. How to hire an accountant that knows what they're doing? I don't even know what paperwork they require. Like..do i need a paper stating that I work at a club? I do keep a track of my earnings and such. Oh by the way... only my mom is working. She barely makes enough for working 13 hrs everyday. All the money she makes goes to my dad. I am getting FAFSA and grants for my school.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
I have been hiding it from my parents for about 6 months now. Just be careful who you tell if you do decide to tell people. The only issue I have had so far is laundry! I try to sneak my stuff in the washer while they are sleeping (;
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
depends. i worked at a dive at the first year of my dancing without an ABN so that went untaxed and because i was a full time student at the time i the governtment just thought i didnt have time to work.
i do think the restaurant alibi is easy to bust when they walk in, ask about you and no ones heard of you there. especially once they start getting more noisy towards your jobs when you stop providing answers. i had a fool proof alibi: i said i bartend at the university bar across town and they only let you in with that university's student i.d. and if you work there. my spending habits were bad though so she suspected i didnt work there coz i made more money basted on my spendings than i could have earnt so watch that.
in the end i ended up telling her, coz in the 2nd yr onwards of dancing i was registered for taxes and all and she kept wanting me to claim student allowance from the govt [for which i made too much accountable money]. plus my conscience couldnt handle it coz i used to tell my mum EVERYTHING. so she knows and apparently shes been suspecting this whole time. she doesnt get it, but is supportive, to the point where i told her i find something else to do if i cant get my fashion business off the ground in the next 2-3 years.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
Quote:
Oh by the way... only my mom is working. She barely makes enough for working 13 hrs everyday. All the money she makes goes to my dad. I am getting FAFSA and grants for my school.
This could get a bit dicey from an IRS / FAFSA standpoint, because a requirement of being claimed as a dependent is providing >50% of the dependent person's financial support. If your mom is earning $50k per year while you are also earning $50k, that's going to be a hard sell. If the IRS denies dependent status then your mother's taxes could increase by thousands of dollars ( while your own tax bill would drop ). And of course your next FAFSA student loan / grant application then needs to be based on $100k of 'total household income' from your mother and yourself combined, which may affect your future eligibility for student grant money.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
I'm in the same boat.
I tell them I'm sleeping over my boyfriend's house (which I do a lot anyway). Or you can say you're at a friend's. I go to school and work a part time job so I guess it's a tad easier for me to lie. As far as taxes go, find out if you can file your own taxes when the time comes.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
Wow I don't know how you girls that live with your parents manage to keep it a secret... it's hard enough for me and I live a 15 minute drive from my family. My sister and cousin know what I do now but my mom absolutely hates strippers so I lie... and she believes I'm paying a $500 rent, $300 car note, plus insurance, utilities, etc. with an $8 an hour restaurant job. Or maybe she's figured out the truth deep down but doesn't want to admit it. I've often wondered this.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
im kinda glad i had to stop working at the little dive bar i was dancing at. i only worked fridays , thrudays and saturdays. and maybe some weekdays if a regular wanted to come in. i had to stop because it was like as soooooon as i started dancing ppl i knew, or my family knew started coming. so i quit. but i miss my $500 a week. it wasnt much but being 19, and rent free i could do it. i wasnt working as hard as i coulda tho, because it was exausting trying to hide it. but i have an audition at a much better/upscale club in about 2-3 weeks. and while im planning on how to hide it, im also getting in shape, practing my dance moves, and waiting on my grandma to come home.
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
I told my parents I work as a cashier/waitress at a strip club. They are extremely tech savvy and nosey and have given me the joking hints of 'hey you're a stripper we know type of tings. Granted I dont live with them but I still have kids and such and they are kind of controlling still (fails alot)
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
I have a very traditional family, too. I ran into a lot of trouble trying to tell them I was a waitress/hostess back when I first started because the earnings/hours were too different and because I know absolutely nothing about that industry I always looked suspicious when they asked me questions. What finally worked for me was telling them I started working as a VIP hostess at a nightclub, doing bottle service, selling tables, etc. They know nothing about that kind of job so I was no longer bombarded with questions and the money and hours made more sense. Depending on your location (and whether or not there are more upscale nightclubs in the area), this might work for you.
As far as taxes go, I hired an accountant on my own and told her the truth about my employment so she could help me. Fortunately, I didn't ever have to use FAFSA while in school. I tried it my first year and it was a complete nightmare. I was able to squeak by paying as I went...Good luck!
Re: Hiding my dancing job from my parents?
Wow! I'm glad there are other girls out there that know the pain of hiding their job from their parents while living with them. Having a secret life is SO HARD! Doing my laundry is definitely one of the harder parts of hiding it, and hiding my stripper bag (I've had to pop the screen out of my window and drop it from the second story so they wouldn't ask questions of where I was going and why I had a giant gym bag!) lol
The less my parents know about my bills & earnings the better!
I did have to tell my dad (he thinks I quit tho) and he was actually relieved to find out that I was stripping and WORKING, because he was starting to think I was a dumb party girl with a drug problem or something haha!
I'm sure even if parents suspect, they're going to not want to know the truth and won't ask/confront their daughters unless there is some sort of solid proof.