Originally Posted by
Dorien
(To those of u n ur 40s and 50s, do u ever honestly feel 'too old' around girls 10, or 20 years younger? or does it not bother u so much?)
^
To answer your question Shift_6x, I could write volumes, but I will try to shorten it.
1. Started dancing at 23 in a nude club. It was like being in the girl scouts but naked w/ some drugs & alcohol. I was more intimidated by the older dancers then. I felt chubby, but not old.
2. At 25, I started to feel conflicted about what I should be doing with my life & was worried about getting old, but didn't feel old.
3. At 31, I was doing well for myself as an actress, I was getting auditions for teenage roles to early 20's. However, everybody in the local clubs knew me for a while. They had an idea of how old I was and would play head games, yet OTC, I knew I had it going on. I still danced off and on, but was not making it a priority. I was really busy at this time in my life. Sometimes I would get so tired at work. The younger ones didn't. I was jealous of their energy level more than anything else. Oh, and the ones who had naturally straight, long hair. I HATED my curly hair for years! Now I wouldn't trade it for anything. (And it hides stray grays very easily::)
4. At 35, I needed serious surgery, (not cosmetic). This involved getting a small version of a c-section scar. As it was healing, the lower part of my bikini line slightly bulged over the scar. I had not danced nude since age 25, but this bothered me. It didn't make me feel old, but I felt unattractive. I quit dancing for two years.
5. At 37, I got an offer to work in a cool club in Cabo San Lucas. People thought I was mid-twenties, the girls that I was cool and a good dancer and I got a job on a Mexican commercial. I felt good about myself. However, when I got back to the states, I stopped dancing for quite a while. I had a job I really liked. The only dancers who intimidated me where these beautiful sisters from Guadalajara.
6. At 41, a friend of mine was a performance artist. She did a one woman show that involved a little bit of pole dancing. She was a little older than me. She was still dancing. I had no idea! So a fire was lit under my ass and I thought if she can do it, I can. I was so nervous about auditioning. So many years had passed. I felt I had to get new music to audition to because mine was dated, I had to ask my friend what she wore,et. I went to this tiny topless dive in Nor Cali. It was owned by a Mexican man. He really liked me and I was hired. There was a big mix of girls here. Older ones, younger ones. The older ones, were actually hotter than the younger ones. They could afford to take care of themselves and get great PS. This was also the first time I had ever danced in platforms (boots). There was only one dancer there who automatically asked who old I was, but she was older too. She was also smokin hot. She was the only one who made me feel inadequate. Oh and one impossibly pretty, young blond dancer. She was nice though. I hated dancing after her:-( I use to have to work hard to lose weight, so I would be intimidated by really skinny dancers. Now it's funny because I AM the skinny dancer at most clubs I work in. I was shocked to hear from custies there that apparently there were younger dancers who were afraid I was going to steal their regulars! I felt oddly complimented and confused. I'm such a bad hustler:-(
6. This brings me up to the present. I work in LA now and have worked in several clubs all over LA county. I'm not that intimidated by younger dancers. Perhaps working in clubs that are 21 plus helps. Kim Kardashian came up a few years ago and all of a sudden, every other dancer I know has big thighs and booty. I tried to grow one, but it didn't work:-( So, in a wide sea of big legs & bootys; I'm one of the only tiny, fit dancers in the clubs where I work. So body wise; no I'm not intimidated. As far as my face goes: yes, sometimes I notice the age difference. When my botox starts wearing off, I get guessed to be mid-to late thirties, but when I fix it all up I've been guessed as young as 23. I really have to be on top of it. If I'm not, then yeah, I am envious of the younger ones. Also, because I 've been athletic all my life, my hands have been showing it. I'm not veiny, but my hands are starting to get that way. I wear bracelets and rings, lol!
But I think it comes down to: Are you still making the $$ & have your been boo'd off the stage. This hasn't happened. And also how content you are to be there? This is important. A custie I hadn't seen in a while paid me a lovely compliment and said"I still have that bright eyed,healthy look". He said some of the dancers get a vacant look in their eyes when they burn out. Since the clubs I work in have a lot of stage time, I do have to ration my energy. I have a tendency to do intense pole shows. I get carried away. I have to learn to save those for a bigger audience and not burn myself out like that.
(Shit! I did write volumes. I do hope you find a way to be happier at your job).