OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
I was accidentally introduced to this fetish that i think i love.. but i digress... because that isn't the issue here..i have this guy that has contacted me a few times because he is into humiliation... I am not a natural at this, and i don't know how amazon works with arrangements such as these...I will just post here what he sent me, and if you can give me any help or guideline as what to do it would be appreciated. please pm me if you don't want to post here. so this is what he sent me.
"I seek something long term. I seek to be a servant to a lady and her man. I am willing to do any work which can be done from a distance and also pay.
I work at amazon as a stacker as such I get discounts to shop on their website. I could take you shopping monthly since it will save on shipping costs.
In return, I don't expect anything really but just your acknowledgement. However, I would love to be humiliated, verbally degraded, name called, team teased, mind manipulated and laughed at. I am such a humiliation junkie."
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
I'm no expert at this, but it seems that a lot of guys get off on the initial part where the girl tries to 'win" them over by degrading them and such, hoping the great offer will become a reality, when really the guys are just getting as much as they can for free, before they back out when they can't actually afford it. If it were me, I'd respond with something like, I'm interested, but you have to prove your worthiness by buying me (item) before I speak to someone as lowly as you, etc. If he's serious then that would be right up his ally and he'll have the money to back it up. If he's just looking for free chat, he'll get back to you wanting to talk more about it before he can be sure, wanting you to say some fetish-y stuff so he can see what you're like.. and all that BS
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
His job doesn't sound that great. Just a thought.
I second mckenna's advice, keep your response as non-indulging as you can, while providing him a way to get the ball rolling. I'm also getting into domming and especially findom, and that's one thing I have on lock- knowing that people get off on words exchanged, and not to let them get that satisfaction for free.
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
I think both of you ladies are 100% correct. He seems to be on some old bullsh#t' and i was so thinking that about his job as well lol. Well after i tell him to prove it i will see if i hear from him again,
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
^^^for real, tell him to pay up or bounce.
this is just anecdotal, so take it for whatever you think it's worth....any guy who approaches me stating he's "looking for a regular" (seeking someone long term) is a guy who expects WAY too much time/attention for a laughably small amount of $$$$ (or gifts in your case) in return.
real regs become those AFTER they see us, AFTER we blow them away with our cam shows/bodies/minds/whatever (I know you from one of my old sites, so I'm assuming this is a cam customer?)
the guys who is "seeking something long term" when he doesn't even know you is probably trying to get as much attention as he can for free, hoping to draw you in with promises of future regular payments/gifts. Combined with the content of his message to you, that's classic psuedo-sub behaviour anyway. Like the chicas who posted above, I'm saying that giving him any attention before he actually PAYS is you working for free. I'm glad you realize that as well :-)
Customers pay, servants pay. BEFORE we indulge their fantasies. Everything else is just noise distracting you from the real $$$$$
peace and $$$$$$$$
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
Well said.... and thank you for your guidance... these supposed subs kill me, they know what you are about(most times you have a profile or something up, that's how they saw you in the first place) but yet and still they try to pull it. :O My experience has been that if they are really serious they pay upfront and immediately or they buy something off your wishlist as they are approaching you or right before.
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
It's called 'topping from the bottom'. Extensive reading into the psychology behind any form of BDSM will yield vast amounts of information, you just need to do the grunt work
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
yep i have been on that.. thank you
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
He turned out to be a peculiar one.. u ladies we're so right once i wouldn't discuss his fetish with him on yahoo before he show me something.. this is how it went:
ME: I thought about it and i talked it over with my husband and we decided I'm interested, but you have to prove your worthiness by buying me an item from my wishlist before I speak to someone as lowly as you any further. Then we will send you our information to correspond with us via yahoo or skype and a application for slavery.
HIM: So far, we do know a little about each other. But I'd like to get to know you as a person, see how we get along how strong the connection between us and so on. I am not sure yet about ownership or filling any application forms, let alone read them.
As much as I want to tribute You, I have experienced that most of the time after the tribute is done, there might not be compatibility with each other. As such its not possible for me to tribute every Lady I approach only to know our compatibility status. I am not asking for your precious time but I hope you can understand me if you placed yourself in my shoes for a moment.
ME: I do understand your position but i also don't have time for time wasters or investing minutes, hours or weeks in someone who will bail or never contribute. I don't know you either, so showing some type of gratitude is etiquette when approaching a fin domme in the first place to let her know you are not on wasteful intentions even if she is no match for you, at least she may entertain the time to see.
HIM: I was told that a time waster would be someone who promises a tribute but never follows up. This was way back.
Now its a new form of excuse to label subs as fake. Imagine me giving money to every Domme I approach or who approaches me just to get to know each other? Would that be feasible you think? You talk about some type of gratitude but do not tell it straight that you want money or gift before hand. Or is it that this "some form of gratitude" also has some other options?
So like really dude? Does he think i'm crazy? Hell he is the one that keeps contacting me, I didn't go looking for him and if you are into the fetish.. U comply plus i make it clear in my profile how you could be considered and that there is an application fee and all...whatever i don't care any more.
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
Yeah he's trying to somehow get you to "prove" yourself to him, you don't NEED compatibility to dominate someone. Anyone I dominate, everything is on MY terms. Because I am the expert, I am the mistress, bow down to ?+. This is the attitude you need to have and exude.
Here's the thing. HE approached YOU. YOU have prices. By logic, he approached the fantasy/package/service that includes your prices, your rules, demands, etc. The fact that he's already questioning you shows he's a cheap fool trying to get something for nothing.
Don't entertain that. And considering you don't know which things you say may be turning him on and getting him off, id keep conversation to a minimum. Like, you calling him a time waster. He could be PAYING you to degrade him, but he's NOT.
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
wow.. thank you chef kitty. i think you are right.. that's why i'm not going to entertain him any further.
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
What site is this on if you don't mind me asking. That guy is doing way too much talking. He's actually making me tired. When he contacts you again . Just say nevermind I found someone else. Take care and good luck lol. Sometimes I play with them and make them think they are getting somewhere, then just say something like" I'm bored now, go away" lol
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
lol I like that cherryblossomsinspring.. no I don't mind at all... he pm'd me on fetlife
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
Re: OK SO I AM NEW TO FINDOM..i NEED HELP!
Hey there. I think I know who this "sub" is. I was trying to see if any Ladies had any blacklists for this douche and a different search with certain keywords is how I got here and so upon reading this I HAD to sign up to get involved in this discussion and put in my 2 cents. I am going to pm you and see if it's the same "sub" lol.