Models starting relationships with models?
While going through some old emails from Chaturbate I noticed a newsletter declaring that two of their models had met through the site and gotten married. So I started thinking... How does something like this happen? I'm sure we're all used to members declaring their love for us and promising to sweep us off our feet. We all ignore it (I think?). Maybe I am just cautious but when guys tell me they want to get to know me I always take it with a grain of salt. It interests me that somehow these two webcam models were able to build a meaningful connection, so meaningful that they joined their lives together. I don't know them but I'm happy for them. I just wonder, how does something like this happen? Would you ever let your guard down and let a guy get to know you on a personal level, cam persona aside? Would it make a difference to you if the guy wanting to get to know you was a male webcam model as opposed to just another paying viewer?
I was up at 4am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I started chatting with a male exhibitionist (not paid model, exhibitionist- meaning he can't be tipped and is just doing it for fun) on Chaturbate. We didn't really talk about anything sexual and he was incredibly polite and respectful. I found myself genuinely enjoying our free chat conversation. I thought it would be nice to maybe hang out with him on Skype some time, not for tokens, and not for sex play, but just to make a new friend. Now I'm wondering if I am being an idiot for actually thinking it's possible to really get to know someone you've found on a cam site... Or is it?... Are my custies' delusions rubbing off on me, or can you really form close relationships with the guys you meet on cam? I'm really curious to hear about your experiences.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
I have felt like this before. In my opinion it is possible but the chance of the relationship progressing is less likely, for more than one reason. One there are just more things you possibly are going to have to worry about in the future. Meeting any person over the net is an adrenaline rush, coming from the idea of the unknown. The problem is, You never know of people's true motives . Every person on this earth are capable of anything. The webcam on the other hand, is scary because its a higher chance for them to be acting out to be someone they really are not. When you are home behind closed doors people are just braver. Hiding behind a computer being in a relationship then actually being in the relationship , which is easier? Most people are looking for easier ways to do things so all along you are just a player in the game. Sound familiar? It is the same in dating off the net. We live in a time where everything is disposable, and you do not need to be paranoid but always just realistically aware so you do not hurt yourself. You do not know if the sun will come up tomorrow, if you feel that it can work and wont cause you major problems/ stress in the future then go for it! I think that when you find that perfect match ,you just have to go with, everything will fall into place the way it is suppose to, rather that be good or bad, it all boils down to the choices we make. So it is best to be aware of those choices. I have to tell you from personal experience of being both adult film and dancing, dating is extremely hard ,but not impossible. You just need to make sure you look out for number one (yourself), and always plan ahead to be successful. If you are both models its easier to relate with one another , I dated a few guys that were around/in the industry and lets just say that most the time those "feelings" we thought we had were not what we had made them out to be. They were actors/performers , I was an actor/performer... It can create tension in ways you do not know unless you have been there. I would say for me it wasn't worth it but hey there are plenty of people out there that make it work and ,hey that is what "works" for them and is awesome. It all depends on the two people in the relationship and how much their perceptions differ. That is just my two cents :)
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
I think that it would be similar to a stripper building a real relationship with a bouncer, bartender, or dj as opposed to a customer. You are on a more level playing field, of sorts - you aren't dealing with someone as a customer, but as a fellow employee.
That said, I think that it would still be fairly difficult to build a sexual relationship with someone who you got to know while "in character" - depending on how much of a persona you put on. If you work basically as yourself, just with less clothing, I think that it would be a lot easier to start a relationship, especially if you are both working and can look past the overt sexuality part of it. But if you are basically an entirely different person when you work, it would take a lot to get past that.
I would be interested in HOW that happened - I'm going to sound cynical, but I think that it would take more trust than I would be willing to risk. If someone came into my free chat and told me that they were a male cammodel, and started "getting to know me" for free, then I would assume it was just another douchebag angle, and give them the same patter that everyone else gets - I wouldn't be particularly honest or open....and if they came into paid chat, I would treat them like a customer, and be very focused on making THEM happy, rather than being totally "me". I guess that if someone kept coming back again and again into pvt and just wanted to talk, I would eventually start to open up a little more, but then I wouldn't want a relationship, because it would feel like he had bought the relationship or the date.
I guess it's just a little far fetched for me personally - I wouldn't be comfortable switching from client to dating prospect if they were paying, and if they weren't paying, they wouldn't get very far with trying to get to know me - I certainly wouldn't be finding anything out about them!!
The one way that I can see it working is if you are on a site that has forums - I can easily see myself noticing someone's posts, maybe shooting them an e-mail, or having little conversations on a thread, and then getting curious enough to go look at their show....identifying yourself by your forum name so that they knew who you were.....building up a relationship that way, rather than just by appearing in a random chat room. The same way that we start to build relationships here, and then check out each others chat rooms from time to time - when you see someone's name pop up that you recognize from the forum, you immediately lose the sales patter when you are talking to them, because you already know and trust them.
It would be kinda nice though - I often think that it is much easier to be with someone who is also in the industry....less emotional baggage and jealousy.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
all im going to say is that you find love in the STRANGEST place, i know i do! i met my honey while dancing in the club, we hit it off well in VIP then went to his room and had sex for two days straight, we cant enough of each other, still- almost 2 years later.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CourtneyRaine
Now I'm wondering if I am being an idiot for actually thinking it's possible to really get to know someone you've found on a cam site... Or is it?... Are my custies' delusions rubbing off on me, or can you really form close relationships with the guys you meet on cam? I'm really curious to hear about your experiences.
You're not an idiot, and of COURSE it's possible! :-)
Any time two human beings connect, there is the possibility that chemistry will happen, and a meaningful relationship will develop. It does not matter where the meeting happened. People CAN ALWAYS form meaningful relationships, no matter if they meet on cam, in a concentration camp, on an internet dating site, at a stripclub, at church, at a funeral, in the hospital, or at their office. When you have two human beings, ... circumstances do not matter.
When I was in my early days of camming, someone popped into my guest chat once and said, "This probably sounds creepy, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm a male cam performer and I've been using your pics to help me get off in my shows. You're really gorgeous." :-) We struck up a conversation, and now, eight years later, I consider him a very very dear friend. I will invite him to my wedding someday; he will get to hold my future children.
We sometimes pigeonhole people we meet into categories, because it makes it easier to function. If we can neatly classify our cam/stripclub customers as 'creeps', or what have you, it frees us from the burden of having to judge them on their actual merits, and protects us from those who ARE disrespectful and unworthy of our affection. And I'm not saying that's wrong.... it's completely natural and serves a purpose. But no matter what jobs we perform, what kinks we have, and what kind of porn we watch, we are all PEOPLE. And whenever you put two PEOPLE together, a meaningful relationship CAN arise, no matter the circumstances.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
I don't see why not Courtney. My son and DIL met online. Not through camming, but through gaming. It happens more and more as technology becomes more available to people. I think you should enjoy your friendship with him, I understand your caution. But sometimes it's ok to throw caution to the wind! ;)
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
See, I have met many guys online through chat and dating sites and started dating them in the real world. When I was in college and also working full time my schedule was really odd so I wasn't able to meet guys in more conventional ways. Then when I moved cross country I didn't know anyone so I once again turned to online dating sites to meet guys to show me around town and what have you. So for me finding people online is kind of "normal", or at least not abnormal. But the difference is, when I would go on chat and dating sites I was representing myself as "me" and not my cam persona.
A couple of years ago when I was camming on MFC I came across a well spending customer with a very strange fetish that a lot of models didn't really understand, but I did and we had a couple of intense privates on mfc. I had only just started camming full time without the support of a "real" job so I didn't quite know as much about cam safety as I do now. We exchanged emails and messengers to chat about his fetish and he said he'd pay me for it, which he did. We chatted just about every day and started knowing each other on a personal level. Started camming on skype for hours every day. Often times this was not paid, but I was falling for him, so I was happy. He would send me a few hundred bucks every now and then since skyping with him was preventing me from camming for money but it wasn't like he was actually paying for the shows, if you know what I mean? We would talk on the phone all the time, started saying "I love you" and talked about him coming out to visit me and then him moving me into his apartment out of state if it worked out. Right before he was scheduled to visit me I ended up meeting and falling for the guy who would become my (now ex) fiance, so I told the cam guy I was breaking up with him to pursue this new relationship.
Looking back at that experience I can't believe I did what I did and fell for someone who started out as a customer. I don't think I'd be able to let my guard down now just because over the years I've encountered so many creepers and crazy people; I'm much more cautious about not sharing any of my personal info. I'm also much more jaded and laugh at the idea of giving guys my attention if I'm not being financially compensated for it. But to be honest, I still think of that guy sometimes and really hope he's doing well, as he did a lot for me and I know he cared about me on a personal level. I cared for him, too.
I was just thinking about that exhibitionist that I have been talking with, who is so nice. I'm happy talking with him about non-sexual stuff. But let's say over the course of time we start liking each other and he wants to have adult cam fun with me. If I was in a long distance relationship I wouldn't have a problem doing nude shows for free with my guy (did them with my now ex after he moved cross country many times), but if it's a guy I'd never actually met in person before I'd probably feel like nah, you gotta pay me just like everyone else if you want to see the goodies! So I wonder what it would take for a cam girl (or guy) to be comfortable enough to do a free show for fun with a former customer or other model. (Oh, and I'm not actually thinking long-term about this exhibitionist guy because that would be weird, we just met so I'm not turning stalker on you, lol. It just sparked a hypothetical idea in my head.)
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CourtneyRaine
So I wonder what it would take for a cam girl (or guy) to be comfortable enough to do a free show for fun with a former customer or other model.
For me, first I would have to completely lose my mind. ;)
To me there are just too many ways to hide things online to have enough trust to open up to anyone in that way. I can't see how you could get a ever feel for who they really are.
I really do love performing on cam and I like being admired, but not gonna do it free, ever.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
^^^ Lol yeah, I feel you. I kinda feel like a dunce for starting up a relationship with that custie back in the day but it really did mean a lot to me at the time. A lot of times our free shows would consist of everyday stuff. Just hanging out. Like we'd be on skype cooking together and then eat together, I play with my pets while he played guitar for me, we'd drink wine and smoke cigarettes together. All the stuff you'd do on a date. And then when we'd start playing in an adult manner it would kind of be like a progression of the "date", if you will. Sometimes we didn't play at all and would just talk. A lot of times we'd just talk on the phone about our families and plans and things like that. Weird stuff. I still can't believe what I got myself into but like a previous poster said, sometimes you can make a connection under the strangest circumstances.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
When I think about it I can't believe I met my bf online. He was a huge spender on imlive when I first started camming like 3 yrs ago. He used to always do phone. The more I talked to him the more I realized wow we have tons in common like so much its crazy. He's a more sane and reasonable version of myself. He really keeps me grounded he's like a little angle on my shoulder. We never did free shows. We've been together 2 yrs but I've known him for 3 or 3.5. My entire family loves him. When I think of our relationship I don't think about how we met lol when I do I feel crazy. I don't even think of how we met each other that much bc it's like he's an everyday fixture in my life now. I also think about how good we are together and how similar we are. Even my mom thinks it's crazy how similar we are from personality to interests to family background. Now I would never date someone that I met from camming bc I've been camming so long I'm jaded and in all honesty it just seems crazy. But I'm lucky bc I met the person who was made for me.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
^^^ That is so sweet! I LOVE hearing love stories!!!!! So I'm really curious, how did you make the transition from model/customer to boyfriend/girlfriend? Because you're right, being jaded, now it's like pfff I'm not gonna meet any custies in person! You crazy??? Lol but I guess when you feel a connection with someone you've got to do what you've got to do to explore it. I've done it before, so I know- I've never done it as my cam persona (other than the one guy I mentioned earlier, but we never got to meet in person). But, I have made some CRAZY relationship decisions- from flying to the Middle East to hang out with a pen pal, to having my now ex move in with me only 7 days after we met. After re-reading this thread I am realizing that camming has made me much more wary of people and the potential relationships I could build with them, and I'm not yet sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it's good from a business sense because I don't short-change myself or reduce the price of my shows just because someone "likes" me. From a personal standpoint? Yet to be determined, I guess.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
Well it happened gradually. I know there are a lot of losers out there who would love to woo girls to get free shows etc. The more we talked the more he grew on me. I ended up having some health probs. He was really supportive during that time. When people I thought were supposed to be my close friends weren't there he was there for me. That's when I realized he was for real. He wanted to take me on a vacation to hangout before I had surgery. So we didn't rush into anything we were just friends for a long time. We went from customer/model to best friends to bf/gf. It's hard to trust people you meet in person. I feel like the net makes it even harder. But you just have to trust your gut instinct. It's cliche but actions speak louder than words. You'll know if its the right thing to do based on the way he treats you. It's good to kinda try to keep business separate though like no free shows etc. Even when he was my bf living in a diff state no free shows til he moved to be w me now he gets all real action. Whether you meet a guy in person or on the net just be careful there are a lot of people out there who like to prey on others. I've been jaded before camming it just extra jaded me. Anyway good luck Courtney.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Eye
I don't see why not Courtney. My son and DIL met online. Not through camming, but through gaming. It happens more and more as technology becomes more available to people. I think you should enjoy your friendship with him, I understand your caution. But sometimes it's ok to throw caution to the wind! ;)
I do think that there is a major difference here - when you meet people through gaming, forums, dating sites, etc etc...you are starting out on an equal basis. It's just like meeting someone in real life!
But meeting someone when you are working...you have to move past the client/professional dynamic, and that can be hard for any job, ten times worse if you are in the sex industry. Given that doctors, therapists, and many other personal care positions forbid relationships with a patient/client, there could definitely be some issues!
I don't think that it would never happen, but it is VERY different to meeting someone in a game!
Courtney - I think that if you really like this exhibitionist guy, you should try to find a way to interact with him when you aren't working. Try to separate your work from a budding relationship - if nothing else, having someone that you may be interested in hanging out in your room has got to be distracting!! And NO man should ever affect your money! Maybe go by his room - after all, he isn't at work, he is just having fun! And if you keep getting on, maybe suggest skyping, or chatting...something that would allow you to get to know him as just another guy you met online - not as a guy you met working on an adult site.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
Oh, no, this exhibitionist guy never comes in my chat room (he lives on the other side of the world so the time difference doesn't allow it). I've been going in his room way after my shift is over and my money is made but I'm bored and don't want to go to sleep. So he's not distracting me or preventing me from making money in any way- that would be a problem :)
I just thought those two chaturbate models marrying was so interesting, and then after talking with this exhibitionist guy on there I am like hmm... I can see how it's kind of refreshing to be "myself" on this site and just unwind and hang out without having to talk sexy and hustle! So that's really what got me wondering if it's ever possible to "be yourself" and subsequently know who the other person "really" is because admittedly, even though my cam persona is very similar to who I am and I don't tend to lie on cam, I wouldn't say that my cam self is an accurate representation of my real self, either.
And the couple who met on the site and got married, I think they lived in different states? Not positive. I wonder if they ever video cammed off site before meeting in person (probably?) and if so, how do you make the transition to doing for free what the person was just paying for a few weeks ago without feeling a little ripped off? I guess that's my biggest question. If you take fun's approach and make a policy of no free shows that would help mitigate those feelings, but I haven't had sex in over a year, so if I somehow started a long distance relationship with someone I would want to do that kind of thing because I'm getting pretty frustrated being single for so long. I'd like a release with a person I care for, even if online, and I bet it would be nice not having to perform and take orders, to just enjoy yourself while the person you care for watches and enjoys himself, too, but since that's also my *job* it's kind of weird to think of doing it recreationally.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
I love potential internet dating stories, especially when I can share my own.
When I was around 9 years old I found a group of kids online on a kiddie website around my age. Having all of the same interests we all really got along. As a group, we've been together for 12 years this December. Of course, now we're all in school and we have jobs.
It was in this same group of people that I met my now husband. He is older than the rest of us, but has the same heart, mind, and free spirit. We didn't begin talking seriously until I was 17, and even still I had my doubts because he did have a habit of putting on the bad boy, pathological liar persona to everyone else but me. He let his guard down for me, and when I turned 18, I let my guard down for him. We dated long distance for 3 months and not once did I show him my naked body (I didn't cam back then, but I didn't share risque photos with him either like other long distance couples tend to do). He moved out to Florida from Seattle to be with me 2 years ago this October. We've been married since this May. And it's the best decision I've ever made.
It is different, because we did meet on neutral ground, on a childish little website. But the long distance and knowing each other as different personas online still required us to just... relax, let down our guard, and let feelings flow.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
Okay so this doesn't involve me and another cam model but I am so happy and I just had to share.
Last year I started talking with a male member on MGF. I'm not going to say how, but we started getting to know each other off site. He never actually did shows or bought content with me so I didn't really see him as a customer, we were honestly just friends. We were both going through a rough patch with our respective relationships and we really helped each other out. We would text chat on skype for hours every night, and I eventually trusted him enough to give him my phone number. We talked all night until the sun came up more than once. I had a huge crush on him but I was still dealing with my feelings for my ex and he started dating a girl whom he really liked, so nothing came out of it. Eventually I had to change my number and close all my social media accounts due to my ex, and out of respect for my friend and his new relationship I never gave him my new contact info. I didn't want to make his girl jealous or interfere with or complicate what they had going on, so I stepped out of his life. We didn't talk for a year.
Last night he found me on a cam site I'm on and it was amazing how we were able to pick up where we left off. After I made my goal he and I started chatting and he called me and it we just resumed where we left off without skipping a beat. We laughed and made plans and we had some sexy time on the phone for the first time ever. It was absolutely the hottest phone sex I have ever had in my entire life and it was so intense for me because it's the first time *I* was able to experience that rather than my cam or pso persona. I hadn't been sure if he was attracted to me up until last night because he'd never actually done shows or bought content content. Well he is definitely into me! And I feel awesome about it. After out sexy time on the phone we switched over skype and had a repeat performance. Even though he had just watched me do a full masturbation goal show on the site hours prior I was so self-conscious about camming with him, because once again, it's the first time *I* have ever cammed with a guy without morphing into my cam persona and putting on a paid performance. After we were done again he wanted to cuddle, so we fell asleep with the skype still on so we could sleep "next to" each other. He has started making plans to come visit me for a week in December. If all goes well and we want to pursue a relationship I would have no problem relocating to his state when my lease is up in five months, as there's really nothing keeping me in my current location anymore.
I kind of want someone to slap me and convince me this isn't real, but I feel like it is. We'd been such good friends before and it was amazing that we were able to rekindle that. I'm glad he was never my customer but now that I know we have chemistry I really want to see where this takes us. I still love my ex very much but this guy was always there to listen to me cry and piece my self-esteem back together after my ex would try to crush it. I've been wearing an engagement ring ever since my ex and I broke up because I never felt ready to let go but last night on the phone with this guy I actually took it off and put it away. He is my good and sexy friend who I happened to meet through a cam site and somehow that seems a little crazy to me but it somehow still feels valid. I don't really know what the point of this post is, I guess I just had to put all of these feelings somewhere as I am still riding the high from last night :)
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CourtneyRaine
Last year I started talking with a male member on MGF. I'm not going to say how, but we started getting to know each other off site. He never actually did shows or bought content with me so I didn't really see him as a customer, we were honestly just friends. We were both going through a rough patch with our respective relationships and we really helped each other out. We would text chat on skype for hours every night, and I eventually trusted him enough to give him my phone number. We talked all night until the sun came up more than once. I had a huge crush on him but I was still dealing with my feelings for my ex and he started dating a girl whom he really liked, so nothing came out of it. Eventually I had to change my number and close all my social media accounts due to my ex, and out of respect for my friend and his new relationship I never gave him my new contact info. I didn't want to make his girl jealous or interfere with or complicate what they had going on, so I stepped out of his life. We didn't talk for a year
Last night he found me on a cam site I'm on and it was amazing how we were able to pick up where we left off. After I made my goal he and I started chatting and he called me and it we just resumed where we left off without skipping a beat. We laughed and made plans and we had some sexy time on the phone for the first time ever. It was absolutely the hottest phone sex I have ever had in my entire life and it was so intense for me because it's the first time *I* was able to experience that rather than my cam or pso persona. I hadn't been sure if he was attracted to me up until last night because he'd never actually done shows or bought content content. Well he is definitely into me! And I feel awesome about it. After out sexy time on the phone we switched over skype and had a repeat performance. Even though he had just watched me do a full masturbation goal show on the site hours prior I was so self-conscious about camming with him, because once again, it's the first time *I* have ever cammed with a guy without morphing into my cam persona and putting on a paid performance. After we were done again he wanted to cuddle, so we fell asleep with the skype still on so we could sleep "next to" each other. He has started making plans to come visit me for a week in December. If all goes well and we want to pursue a relationship I would have no problem relocating to his state when my lease is up in five months, as there's really nothing keeping me in my current location anymore.
I kind of want someone to slap me and convince me this isn't real, but I feel like it is. We'd been such good friends before and it was amazing that we were able to rekindle that
If you consider it to be 'real', then it probably is
what scares me is the fact that you're already considering moving out of state to be closer to a man that you haven't talked to in a year, all after one fun night together. Whether you'd met online or off I'd still urge you to slow down
get to know each other again, and recognize that not feeling as though you're being your 'cam persona' with him is not an accurate indicator of whether this intimacy you feel you share will last, or be anything more than a fleeting attraction
enjoy your time together but slow down. Don't ever make it too easy for anyone to gain an important space in your life. I say this not because you met him on a cam site or based on any 'rules-style' ish about making guys 'work for it', but because in reading your post it seems like you equate NOT being in your cam persona with intimacy. That's a factor, but there's way more to intimacy and trust than just not feeling like you're in your work role. Take the time to find out if this guy deserves a place in your life before you start making plans in your head to drop everything for him
I sincerely hope I'm not coming off as condescending. You're an adult and you always need to do what feels right for you. Neither myself or anyone else should have the right to decide what that is for you. All I'm trying to do is provide a note of caution. Don't get caught up in the moment to the point of making hasty decisions you may later regret. Moving to be with someone is huge. Even thinking about it is huge. December is only two months away. Even if that visit goes amazingly well, your 5 month timeline is...very short. If I were you I would think about what else was missing from my life, that I'd be so eager to jump into a fantasy of dropping everything to move cross-country after one fun night in a year with anyone.
On that tip, you mention finally being able to take off your old engagement ring. Know that you don't need to have a 'replacement' for that ex in order to move on from him. Again, in reading your post it seems like the feelings you have for this guy are quite enmeshed with a whole range of feelings you have about other issues and experiences. I hope you unpack all of that in your head before making any big decisions about this guy, or anyone, really.
In writing all of the above I'm not questioning the authenticity of what you feel, of what you may both feel. All I'm saying is take it slow.
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
I had a much older friend who (waaay back in the day) ran a phone sex line for extra money, and ended up falling for a cutstie. I think they had a year or 2 long affair... not life long, but still a thrilling relationship. Who knows?
Re: Models starting relationships with models?
I say go for it!:) I think its great to meet other sex-positive people in the industry. Thats why i love this forum so much. If he gets creepy, then say bye bye. You never know. It could work out.