camming and anxiety attack
Even though I have general and social anxiety, I haven't really had any problems with anxiety attacks like I thought I would until tonight.
I've been camming about a week. I get anxieties before I cam (I'm not really afraid of people seeing me, I just get this almost over whelming feeling that something bad is going to happen. I couldn't even tell you what) and I sometime worry that I didn't do good enough after I get off, even if I've met my goals. But every day it's getting better and when I'm on cam I actually don't feel anxious at all.
I'm on Chaturbate right now because it seemed like an easy site to ease into camming. And, even though I've read it's not the most profitable site, it's helped me feel more comfortable with camming and given me more confidence to start branching out.
Tonight was super slow and I'm kinda tried so I wasn't really feeling it. I had this guy being a mod for me cause he'd actually helped a bit and it was nice not to have to think about it. Long story short, he started telling people I was going to do something I wasn't. He tried to take control of my room so I banned him.
Reading this I know it's no big deal at all. But after I got off cam I've been having a small anxiety attack. I keep having these thoughts that he's going to come back and do something to ruin me or that everyone who saw me ban him will hate me and think I'm a bitch. I know these are all irrational thoughts but with my anxieties it's sometimes hard to make them stop. Don't really have a question or anything. Guess I'm just venting and hoping it helps me calm down.
I'm so glad I found camming connection, I know I would never have been able to start camming without it. Having all the help here has really helped me over come my fears and anxieties enough to start camming, something I've been wanting to do for a long time. I really appreciate all that you ladies have done here.
Re: camming and anxiety attack
You did the right thing by banning him. No one should try and control you. Don't worry about him though. Ppl who are controling always get what they deserve. And I'm sure I'f he tried you could probably get him in trouble bc everyone has a superior unless they are self employed.
As far as anxiety goes... camming is going to help you get over that. I have anxiety too and so do allot of Cam girls.
Re: camming and anxiety attack
Girl Ive been camming almost two wks and still have anxiety!Im the same way,the anxiety is BEFORE,not so much while Im actually doing it.And then of course I log off and think "UGH WHYYY didnt i do THIS in private??I soo could have kept him in there longer!" etc and kinda beat myself up.Im getting better at not harping on myself though.I have had some assholes just like that,im sure we ALL have.I had a guy just a few days ago that got mad bc i wouldnt fart for him in guest chat,in front of my entire room.Mind you this guy was giving me more compliments,and sweeter nicer ones than i had received from anyone else so far.The SECOND i refused to pass gas he just started laying into me.Asking if he could put me on a diet and explaining how he could come in every day in private and make me eat healthy and then make me run on a treadmill.And he backed this up with bc Im concerned about you baby,i dont want you to get diabetes,and i love you baby id never want anything to happen to you.All this and he had spent a total of 30 sec in my room,it was his first time in there as well.So i banned his ass with a quickness!Hey i may have even went along with the diet etc if it meant earning a reg out of him,hell youre gonna pay me to eat and NOT get undressed?LOL but it was the degrading remarks and the i love you thing that started really creeping me out.Dont ever feel like these assholes are entitled to ANYTHING,if you start worrying about what the OTHER guys think,theyre gonna run all over you chick!!dont take that shit!!theyll learn to cut the shit if they want to stay in your rm or theyll seek elsewhere with a quickness.its up to you what kind of men you want lurking in your room,you always have the option to ban,so use it babygirl and dont be sorry at all!you dont owe them a single thing,not a SINGLE thing babe!
Re: camming and anxiety attack
Re: camming and anxiety attack
thanks for sharing- I feel like this was more about the mod than the anxiety- as he triggered said anxiety attack. This is why I do not like the idea of mod's on chaturbate. I've only broadcasted 2x's there now with terrible results (no traffic etc.), but I hang out in other model's rooms often on there. What I notice is the mods seem real eager to use their new found power. Sure, there are a lot of members on chaturbate that need to be silenced, but usually the mod is quick on it, ready to pounce. I didn't know why, but someone else having that power in my room besides me really bothered me. THIS is why it bothers me. And tbr- this is not the first "bad mod" chaturbate story I've heard. I don't think any member should have power over my room- maybe I'm paranoid, but this story is proof it happens. Members should stay members, imo. I won't ever be picking a mod on chaturbate- unless they tip into it. @Miss_Me, I hope this doesn't discourage you from camming again. This dude was a dillhole, you should report him!! If you report him he is likely to get banned. So sorry this happened to you and welcome to CC!
Re: camming and anxiety attack
Thanks so much for all the support and encouragement. I feel a lot better today. Though I do feel a little silly about posting yesterday since it really wasn't that big of a deal at all. lol I always seem to have more issues with my anxieties when I start something new like a job, classes, moving, ect. So I know it's not really the camming but the change in my routine.
And I agree crashingsilent with the whole mod thing. Looking back now I'm pretty sure it was the fact that I felt like I had lost control of my environmental that triggered the attack. I don't think I will be using a mod from here on out.
Thanks again for listening. It's really nice to have a safe place to vent.