VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
Hiya girls,
So i've been dancing for about three weeks now and I'm picking it all up pretty quick (and having a fucking BLAST) except for one thing... VIP. I've read plenty of threads on selling VIP, but that really isn't my problem. My problem is once i get into the privacy of VIP, I tell them the rules - but without fail they always try sticking a finger up my vag or whip their cock out or lick my asshole...SOMETHING! I tell them no and i say it nicely but then they are all despondent and don't want to stay longer then the 30 mins. I see other girls (who i know aren't doing extras) get repeat VIPS and guys who will continue buying 30 min after 30 min and WHAT ARE THEY DOING?? :-\
NEXT PROBLEM:
I have a regular. He might be the most wonderful, perfect regular a girl can get. I sit with him and he pays me to let myself be spoiled (food, drinks, back rubs, foot rubs, etc). He's an older guy, maybe around 60 and the last time he saw me he asked 'If i really like him or if its just an act?' and i told him OF COURSE i like him. Then he proceeded to ask me out to dinner and i was all $&*@^$%@$(*?????? errrrrrrrrrr. I told him maybbbbeee. and now he's asking for times and dates and i can't keep putting him off forever but i also want to keep him around and i don't want to go. Again, I see girls handle these situations but i don't know what they're doing. HELP! How do i say No but sound like I'm saying yes or visa versa or WHATEVER you guys do!
help!
xo
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
I'll try to answer to the best of MY experience, but I'm still learning too.
One big part of extending timed rooms, and extending the number of lap dances you sell in succession is the art of the tease. Don't get all intimate the first song. Or the first five minutes. ENGAGE him, yes, but don't give up too much.
Identify your "moves" that you do during a lap dance or vip, and try to prioritize them by how intimate they are, and try to introduce them in order of least "hot" to most "hot" over the course of a couple songs.
For example: The first song I have less contact, more posing and showing off my butt. I sit on his lap towards the middle of that song. By the third song, I may grind on his lap facing him, and playfully stick my finger in my mouth and yadda yadda. After a couple more songs I may nibble his ear a little. Etc etc.
Also maintain a rhythm of pulling back a little periodically- intermittent air-dancing. It makes them want more.
So in their head, they see the dances progressively getting "dirtier" (and no, I'm NOT condoning extras. but progressively more sexy/intimate/engaging/contact/whatever) the longer they're spending their time (money) with you, so they want to see what's next. And when you pull back, putting that thought in their head of "wait, come back!" over and over, keeps them in the mindset of WANTING you.
One way I'm able to skirt the subject of extras with customers is to act cutesy and oblivious like for example if they say "can you make me happy?" I say "teehee I make EVERYONE happy!" A lot of times they get the message that you don't do extras, but you are able to maintain your upbeat persona and often still sell the dance. For a customer that I feel like explaining my logic to, I tell them, I do very well with the experience I offer and my customers are very pleased with me. I don't want to ruin a good thing by offering what other girls offer to make their money, because I don't need to and I don't want to risk my job, which would mean losing happy customers.
Some customers may come into the club expecting that kind of service because they come from an area where it's a given that they will be able to get sucked off in the VIP.
These guys I usually try not to waste too much time on them, I tell them it's not something I offer and that I don't know of any girls here tonight that do, they can keep trying with other girls but when they're ready for a great lap dance let me know. They then get other, less diplomatic responses from other girls and sometimes do come back to me for a dance.
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
Thank you SO much for responding, chef kitty! I love your idea of getting dirtier the longer the dances go on. So, do you set rules when you go into VIP? IE: no touching the crotch or whatever. Wouldn't that ruin the fantasy that they might get something later?
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
My rules are REALLY simple, and I phrase them by telling them what they CAN do.
I tell them "You can touch me, I like it! Just not here, here, and here." I point to my nipple area, my vagina area, and my buttcrack area. (This is for at my topless clubs, where we don't remove any clothing and most contact is technically illegal.
At the full nude club, it's the same thing except I allow boob touching.
I tell them that the better they can behave themself, the naughtier I can be.
At one of my topless clubs, where I know the dancers are not monitored as closely, I tell the customer that I charge extra for touching my breasts. They get one free touch and then after that it is $40 extra per song to enjoy them (I NEVER EVER let them suck on me. This is unsanitary and way wayyyy crossing a boundary for me). A lot of people respond better to something costing money than to something being "against the rules" because they are more worried about having to pay more money than being told "no". So most of the time they keep their paws off my titties. And occasionally they will take the bait and at that point I'm getting paid triple the dance price so I'm comfortable with that.
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
Now, keep in mind, what I'm outlining is my own personal boundaries. And on any given day I may decide I am not going to allow the same level of contact.
You may never be okay with having your breasts touched. There's nothing wrong with that. Just keep this in mind:
YOU are the boss. As an entertainer, you decide what you offer and what you don't offer. NEVER make the customer the director of your show. It will put you in a bad spot mentally/emotionally and may even be dangerous/traumatizing. As dancers, we have to be our own ringleaders, our own publicists, and the star of our own show. The customer is paying for what YOU have to offer, not for what THEY can try to dig out of you. Weakness is NOT sexy.
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
It may be your location as well. In Houston, all the locals actually try to do all the fingering/licking/nipple sucking in the first few seconds of the song. If they go VIP/champagne room, they usually ask for extras straight up. Most of the customers from Georgia that I've gotten have been like toned-down Houstonians-- they expect full-service for the price of dances. My rule is to try and get at least two dances from them even if they are being weird and never speak to them again.
Also, regulars to your club will try and test you like this sometimes since you're new. I've heard guys brag about which new girls they've had or how they got to a girl when she first got to that club. (Ewwww.) But then again, I am in what many regard as stripper hell here, so you may not have it that bad.
Just never, ever say you're cool with something when you're not. For instance, I personally hate when guys suck my nipples, so even though most guys do it or try to, I always move out of the way and tell them that I don't like it if they ask. Stand your ground, and try to leave after a dance or two if they are pushy guys . Try to leave before they want to in order to create value-- tell them you DON'T want to dance for them since they don't listen. Guys with money usually behave after that. Guys trying to be rude and cheap won't since you called their bluff.
I may try fining customers myself since some of this stuff doesn't always work (as in if you ask me for extras, that's $20 so I don't report you; you don't stop hurting me or touching me in a way I don't want, $60.) I'll update you if this works or not.
As far as progressing dancing goes, the slower and sexier you go, the better. If you can get by with it, don't permit contact the first dance or so. I have friends who don't take any clothes off until after a dance. We can get in trouble for this at my club, so I'd ask around for the rules at your club before doing that.
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
Spend more time on conversation in VIP. If a customer wants to commit to spending a half hour or hour with you, they generally want your company more than a sexy dance (except, of course, those seeking extras). So rather than spending the entire half hour dancing, get them talking. Like, once you get into VIP, do a slow body slide, starting with giving him a great view of your boobs, sliding down while making eye contact, and then slowly come back up and sit on the side of his lap. Continue your conversation from before you got into the VIP while playing with his hair, running your hands up and down his arms/chest/shoulders/etc. Break it up with sexy moves in his lap. Make sure you're doing something sexy when the time is about the run out so he's more willing to extend.
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
Definetly try to have more conversation. The longest vips I've had are usually the ones where I dance the least. Sexy talk, flirting, soft sensual touches, etc make them feel more like you really like them, more of a girlfriend experience.
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
OK, I haven't read to other responses, but I will give my perspective.
Really LOOK at the customer. Look into his eyes, let him see the pureness of yours. Talk to him, give him a whole person to respect.
As far as your reg, I am sure he had other favorites. Even tho he pretends to not understand the game, I am sure he does on some level. If you don't mind being paid for you time out of work, tell him you could go to dinner but you have to work. If he is doesn't offer to pay for your shift then tell him you would love to see him at work.
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DesuvsDeath
I've found that there's something about specifically saying "No" that customers find very off putting. My work around for this is that I spend a lot of time 'ignoring' things. If they're reaching for something I don't want them to touch, I switch positions... or I lean so it's out of their grasp rather than actually saying "No don't do that." I find it's easier for me to do this anyway since 90% of the time they don't listen when you say "no" or want to whine "Whyyyyy? You don't like me?" or something equally stupid or obnoxious.
It seems stupid... but I've found it to be very effective in getting customers to continue dances. Something about the idea of "well she didn't say I COULDN'T do it" seems to keep them hoping that there's a chance that they still can.
This is soooo true. Actually saying "no" is usually best saved for when guys get VERY pushy. I try to do as much with body language as possible. I'll tell them they're bad, slap their hands, move to a different position, and keep dancing. I sometimes wonder if that's really want some guys want... they want to feel like a cavalier badboy more than be made to feel like a nasty manpig. :/
Re: VIP & sounding like I'm saying yes but really saying no?
Oh god, thank you so much girls! You're all lifesavers.
xo