Sorry, over it. Stupidness + wine dont mix well.
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Sorry, over it. Stupidness + wine dont mix well.
Are you single right now? Lonely? If you had a boyfriend, I would bet you wouldn't care. Once you have someone else that you love you won't care- I promise.
It's natural to feel protective over someone whom you genuinely care for and it seems like he's got a special place in your heart, regardless of the breakup. If he isn't speaking to you at all he's either very hurt or simply trying to move on with his own life. Most likely both. He could be acting out by proposing to this girl or he might really love her and wants to be married. But proposing to her on your anniversary of all 365 days in the year suggests resentment. Tough :/ You can try sending him an e-mail or letter explaining your concerns but in the end he is going to have to take responsibility for his choices. So if it means a failed marriage because he dove into it too quickly or for the wrong reasons, it's for him to learn from.
Be flattered. You're so amazing that not only are you worth the energy of carrying a grudge (for no real reason) for 9 years, you have the power to make a man propose to a chick without two brain cells to rub together on your special day (fool gave her a hand-me-down anniversary date... and she probably thought she was special...) But don't be guilty. If I did the math right he's 30, and if he doesn't have an ounce of common sense by now there's not a thing you could do to help him. It's natural to want to hold onto people who once were important to you (trust me, I know the feeling) but life is such that things change and people come and go. Don't be afraid to cherish the memories and keep a place for them in your heart, but don't forget the bad times and the reasons why ultimately you made the right choice in leaving. There are so many people I don't talk to anymore, people I'm glad were a part of my history, and also am glad are not a part of my future. You just gotta wish them the best and set yourself free.
I also suspect that part of the reason you want to talk to him so bad is because you can't... one of those 'you want it because you can't have it' things. Maybe he knows this and that's why he's acting so cold and bitter towards you, just another attempt to keep you thinking about him. If that's the case that's sad, but again there's nothing you can do to help him. Eventually he's gonna have to learn how to manage his life and his feelings but it can't be taught.
I'm not single, I'm actually very happily involved. I just had never ended on bad terms with anyone before or after this, and for awhile, we were friends after the breakup. And that just stopped. I guess I still sometimes just think he's that naive, sweet guy I once knew, and want to protect him. I didn't break up with him because he was a bad guy - he was a great guy - I just didn't love him the way he deserved. If he's really happy with this girl, then GREAT. I want him to be happy. But I guess since he's my first "real" love and all, it stings a little bit that he's actually getting married. My Iago is coming out I suppose. :P