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Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I've got this fucking customer on NiteFlirt who ALWAYS wants a two hour cam show. It's good money and the shows seem pretty easy on the surface. No masturbation, no stripping, just sitting on the couch looking pretty talking to him on the phone. However, he wants me to act like his abusive mother/ex wife/ex step daughter. He's told me in depth the ways that he was abused growing up as a child and the fucked up things that his ex wife did to him which involved shaming him for being Jewish. A lot of the shit sounds outlandish but the guy clearly has issues anyway and he's using me as like "therapy" or something. He's also impotent and has to take cialis to be able to cum I guess that's why he gets shows that are so long. Bottom line it's quick money but it is so emotionally exhausting. I burst into tears after the first show. He only gets shows on Saturday nights and while Saturday is like my 'extra' day of the week to make a lot of money I just want to avoid getting on at all so that he won't ask me for a show.
He's told me that he wants me to direct the calls and what we talk about, so I've tried that, then he'll act like he doesn't like the way I'm directing the shows so I've straight up told him that it's hard for me to keep a 2 hour long call fresh especially when we're just going to end up going over the same shit again and again. He STILL comes back for more. I sense a bit of trying to top from the bottom too 'cause in the beginning he was always suggesting other methods of payment or that I should come on and cam on my nights off because it would be more convenient for him and he planned to spend lots of money on me (whatever). I set him straight on all of that shit.
What I'm ultimately having trouble with is if I should just block him. I should just block him shouldn't I? I feel bad doing so but it's really more stress than it's worth. Then I look at it as "really? sitting on the couch talking to someone is too much stress"?
Ughh. Thanks for listening.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I log off when certain client come online who emotionally exhaust me and I know I cant handle it. I feel like I give them a shitty a performance and its repetitive so then I reaaly feel shitty doing the shows. I hate to turn down money. I will to keep my sanity.
Understand completely where you are coming from.
"I should just block him shouldn't I?" I ask myself that question about the same custi every night. he is still not blocked, shame on me but like said he uses me for therapy and IM HIS ONLY "FRIEND"
sighs
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
Thanks tempting good to know I'm not alone. I think what I'm just going to do is send him a message tonight when I log in letting him know that I'm not interested in the shows anymore. I think it's a better option than blocking him since he's spent money on me and all. I'm not going to let him fuck with my money anymore though either! I'm all about fetish shows and role play and all that but I ain't nobody's damn psychologist.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
YES. But you're on NF, girl! Raise your rates for him! Make him pay like, $10+/min for that. If that's not enough, make him pay MORE. Make him pay $20 for EVERY message you send. He'll either pay you and you'll feel the cost is justified or he'll simply go away. I feel you, really, NF guys are the most attached, neediest, eccentric guys in camming to me. I started on that site and have certainly "fired" good custies for less but the beauty of that site is that I can theoretically charge anything and they have to pay it to interact with me. I wouldn't give up on him, just yet. There's still money to be made off this pathetic cash-cow. ;)
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I have a customer who does a 2 hour cam show with me 2-3 times a week. So yea...4-6 hours a week I spent with him. Thankfully in my case it really is just chatting. Then the last 15 minutes or so make him cum. But on days I simply don't feel like it I just don't do it and no I've never felt guilty about it.
Then again he's been doing this for about 1-2 years so we all need a break sometimes.
I kinda judge it by if it's something I'm dreading to do. As In everytime if I just wanna run the other way,then I'll simply block em and not worry about it.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
Either charge him the amount you think will make it worth your while 19.99/min or so, or block him. You don't enjoy doing the shows so fuck it. Oh and I don't believe half of what these callers say about their childhoods and wives. Most them are better at creating fantasy than we are and some of them are really invested in their fantasy life. I take everything they say with a grain of salt.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
Yeah $20 a minute would do it lol. I emailed him and told him I'm not up for it unless he wants to pay a lot more. Thanks guys. Weight of my damn shoulders.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I turn down customers all the time to avoid stress.
I became a camgirl so I could run my own business. In running my own business, I get to chose my customers. I am not forced to serve anyone who comes through the door, like I would be if I worked for someone else.
It is what makes camming as a career so awesome!
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
It's rare when it happens, but there have been a handful of occasions where I've turned down paying customers and I don't feel guilty for it at all. None of them really ever asked for anything physically draining, and the guy who spent the most on me out of the bunch also had the easiest non-nude requests. He was also the most arrogant, self-righteous and judgmental asshole I have ever chatted with and seemed to have no clue about how condescending he was even when he would repeatedly imply that I am just some lowly cam girl who needs his generosity to pay my bills and I should always jump at the opportunity to make content for him. Screw that! I thought it was just easy money from him but then realized that every time we would chat I'd always get angry and I was even venting to my guy about how obnoxious he is; this is the only time I've felt the need to bring up one of my annoying custies repeatedly and specifically and when I realized he was affecting my head space by continually judging me I decided not to put up with it. I did not block him but kept on declining his requests to make videos for him until he finally got the hint. He would still live chat me and send me messages every now and then, after a full year I did agree to make a video for him about a month ago because I wanted to make a quick easy buck but honestly, it was so beneath me to have to put up with his know-it-all attitude that I've been strictly ignoring him and think I will continue to do so from here on out.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CourtneyRaine
It's rare when it happens, but there have been a handful of occasions where I've turned down paying customers and I don't feel guilty for it at all. None of them really ever asked for anything physically draining, and the guy who spent the most on me out of the bunch also had the easiest non-nude requests. He was also the most arrogant, self-righteous and judgmental asshole I have ever chatted with and seemed to have no clue about how condescending he was even when he would repeatedly imply that I am just some lowly cam girl who needs his generosity to pay my bills and I should always jump at the opportunity to make content for him. Screw that! I thought it was just easy money from him but then realized that every time we would chat I'd always get angry and I was even venting to my guy about how obnoxious he is; this is the only time I've felt the need to bring up one of my annoying custies repeatedly and specifically and when I realized he was affecting my head space by continually judging me I decided not to put up with it. I did not block him but kept on declining his requests to make videos for him until he finally got the hint. He would still live chat me and send me messages every now and then, after a full year I did agree to make a video for him about a month ago because I wanted to make a quick easy buck but honestly, it was so beneath me to have to put up with his know-it-all attitude that I've been strictly ignoring him and think I will continue to do so from here on out.
See I was the same way with this guy I felt the need to like tell other people how much the shows were bugging me. Totally understand. Fuck that.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I don't feel guilty about it...sometimes the non-monetary price is just too high. We have to look after ourselves first or we won't be able to earn any money.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
Why are you feeling bad honey.. sometimes you are just sick to death of it.. been there done that.. and sometimes not worth the money
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I wouldn't feel guilty about it. You don't even personally know him. Your well being cums first!
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
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Originally Posted by
vivianbear
YES. But you're on NF, girl! Raise your rates for him! Make him pay like, $10+/min for that. If that's not enough, make him pay MORE. Make him pay $20 for EVERY message you send. He'll either pay you and you'll feel the cost is justified or he'll simply go away. I feel you, really, NF guys are the most attached, neediest, eccentric guys in camming to me. I started on that site and have certainly "fired" good custies for less but the beauty of that site is that I can theoretically charge anything and they have to pay it to interact with me. I wouldn't give up on him, just yet. There's still money to be made off this pathetic cash-cow. ;)
Everything Viv just said. Yep. NF guys are VERY emotionally exhausting.. and so many are downright bizarre with their requests/fetishes.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I swear fetish guys are just getting on my damn nerves in general lately. I'd be happy to just fucking masturbate all night lol.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
Ty for making me feel not alone. I felt the same way and I banned him last night. I love shows and money but can only take so much mentally. This dude actually thought I was his bff for life. I blocked him, now the tweets, DMs and messages to his friends are ridiculous. Im getting their messages. It has turned into a mess but it is his own mess. Just as you said .."I ain't nobody's damn psychologist" so TY for posting this bc I didnt feel alone when I hit the ban hammer on someone who was taking a mental toll on me. Im a nice person, I will listen, sometimes men take it too far, and they say we are needy... TY BABE FOR POSTING and thats all i have to say
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Juliette25
Thanks tempting good to know I'm not alone. I think what I'm just going to do is send him a message tonight when I log in letting him know that I'm not interested in the shows anymore. I think it's a better option than blocking him since he's spent money on me and all. I'm not going to let him fuck with my money anymore though either! I'm all about fetish shows and role play and all that but I ain't nobody's damn psychologist.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
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Originally Posted by
temptingmodel
Ty for making me feel not alone. I felt the same way and I banned him last night. I love shows and money but can only take so much mentally. This dude actually thought I was his bff for life. I blocked him, now the tweets, DMs and messages to his friends are ridiculous. Im getting their messages. It has turned into a mess but it is his own mess. Just as you said .."I ain't nobody's damn psychologist" so TY for posting this bc I didnt feel alone when I hit the ban hammer on someone who was taking a mental toll on me. Im a nice person, I will listen, sometimes men take it too far, and they say we are needy... TY BABE FOR POSTING and thats all i have to say
Good for you glad we could help each other out.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
OMG yeah. This happens to me sometimes. I can think of two guys. One was using me as therapy and since I'm in training to be a therapist I felt responsible and I felt like it could be a good experience. You know what, I'm in TRAINING to be a therapist. I don't have all the coping mechanisms and support structure in place yet to be a therapist. This means that I shouldn't be trying to take on clients...particularly when they call me from a website that has a naked lady on the cover. He told me he had violent ideations and that I was the only person keeping him from hurting women. So between my desire to keep him from hurting people, desire to help him, and the money I was stuck wrestling with the emotional pain I was getting from not being able to process it all. Then I thought, "What if this is part of his game as a sadist? What if he finds women like me and says all this shit to make us feel trapped? What if THAT'S what he's actually getting off on?" and I realized that I was getting miserable every time I saw his name pop up on my Skype, and signing off to avoid him calling me. So I stopped seeing him.
Another guy got two hour long shows where he would do intense, horrible things to himself. Like legit torture. Things I couldn't watch someone do to an animal, even on TV if I knew it was fake. I told myself it was okay in this instance. He was doing it to himself! He wanted to do it! It turned him on! I was helping! He was paying me really well! I fucked up and complained about him in public. He happened to hear and was really hurt, so he told me he heard and I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I blocked him without another word.
It was shitty of me to complain about him instead of talking to him. I shouldn't have done that. If I could re-do it maybe it would have been more tolerable with shorter shows or more money per minute. Obviously I can't go, "Dude you need therapy" and have him just go, "Oh you're right I do! I'll stop this right now and next time I'll come back all mentally healthy and just jerk off." That's not my place. But it's also not my place to make myself miserable. There's got to be a balance, and if we're agonizing over it, clearly we haven't found it and need to try and think of what would make it better, then propose a solution to the guy.
Remember, we're in charge.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
Ugh Ugh UGh.
I absolutely hate those guys that get all needy - they are my worst camming nightmare. I hate feeling responsible for them, or like I have to deal with them.....I just want to diddle myself and then go about my day, ok? No emotional connection, no regular thing...
Sometimes it even drives me nuts if I am having an off day and a regular comes in that I LIKE, because I'm just thinking "dude, you are great, but I am SO not in the freaking mood right now. I just want to sit here until someone comes in to pvt, I don't WANT to chat" but I can't say it, because it would upset them.
At the end of the day, if they are getting to you, charge them a metric ass-ton extra - there is a pain-in-the-ass-tax for a reason! And if they are really getting to you - cut 'em loose, and remember that you do not owe them a damn thing. You are a service provider, not a friend, therapist, confidant, or life-line.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
When I first started camming I used to have this guy who would email me everyday wanting to know what I was going to wear on cam today and that 'tomorrow I will book a cam show with you' never did of course. Then came the 'if only you escorted' crap. I replied saying I don't escort because of timewasters like you. He replied telling me he would make it worthwhile claiming to pay me £xxxx. ( yea right lol) I didnt bother to reply but he kept on at me saying how rude I was for turning him down and what was wrong with me didn't I need his cock and his cash?!
Although he didn't seem geniune I did wonder if that offer was a real.
I only mention this as hes returned again under a different name giving the same old crap and have just blocked his stupid ass.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I've got another guy that I'm dreading. He's only done shows with me once but it was like three shows in one night I think an hour and a half worth of time of cuckold roleplaying where he wanted me to dress a certain way then I had to use a dildo and all that shit. Ever since every time he messages me I immediately want him to go away and I've stayed offline to avoid him before. He had found me through cambabes the first time and I wasn't on there but was signed in to NiteFlirt this one time. I had told him that I was working on some schoolwork (I was) and that I would message him when I was done. He had the balls to actually call me on NiteFlirt instead of waiting for me to tell him when I was ready.
I don't know what it is about these guys that I just dread. It's the needy fetish ones. I should be happy to get these customers that want to spend all this time with me. I'm just not.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
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Originally Posted by
ManyRoses
Ugh Ugh UGh.
I absolutely hate those guys that get all needy - they are my worst camming nightmare. I hate feeling responsible for them, or like I have to deal with them.....I just want to diddle myself and then go about my day, ok? No emotional connection, no regular thing...
Sometimes it even drives me nuts if I am having an off day and a regular comes in that I LIKE, because I'm just thinking "dude, you are great, but I am SO not in the freaking mood right now. I just want to sit here until someone comes in to pvt, I don't WANT to chat" but I can't say it, because it would upset them.
At the end of the day, if they are getting to you, charge them a metric ass-ton extra - there is a pain-in-the-ass-tax for a reason! And if they are really getting to you - cut 'em loose, and remember that you do not owe them a damn thing. You are a service provider, not a friend, therapist, confidant, or life-line.
Totally agree with all of this.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
I don't know about anybody else but camming sometimes gets me not only physically exhausted but mentally too. I do a lot of role play and sometimes the guys are not really all there, you can see they have mind issues. I have been turning down roleplays that would make me uncomfortable. So it's best for your mind frame to do what's best for you. Your health is more important.
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Re: Ever Feel Guilty For Wanting To Turn Down Money To Avoid Stress?
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Originally Posted by
Rosexxxx
I don't know about anybody else but camming sometimes gets me not only physically exhausted but mentally too. I do a lot of role play and sometimes the guys are not really all there, you can see they have mind issues. I have been turning down roleplays that would make me uncomfortable. So it's best for your mind frame to do what's best for you. Your health is more important.
Yeah I've been sitting here thinking what the hell it is that is getting to me so much and it must be the roleplays because both of these guys are roleplay guys. They are fucking nutbars.