who do you hide this job from???
MY RANT.....
just need somewhere to say this where ppl understand what i'm going through....
so saturday night, i have not worked all week because generally, i do so well that i don't have to. 96% of the time, i fucking love this job. everything about it, including the assholes, because even with them, i can fuck with them and be a bitch and i enjoy that. there is almost nothing i dislike about this job. yet...
worst, and only part of this job for me, that i hate, is having to hide what i am. my parents as well as many of my friends as well as my boyfriend all understand what my job entails. they accept but don't care. great, fantastic. (i know a lot of you out there have to hide what you do from a lot of your family and friends, which totally blows and i feel for you.)
yet the only people that i am not ok with knowing i'm a stripper would be my pastor and his wife, as well as their children, whom i see on a regular basis. i know a lot of you are like, well fuck em if they can't accept you, which i agree with. yet saturday night when i have not worked all week, i am spending most of my night hiding.
because my pastor's dumb dick frined will not fucking leave the fucking club. mabye some of you don't feel like this is a big deal, but jeez, i'm fucking upset as hell. of all the people in this big ass city and this dumbfuck decides to hangout in the most open area of the club for 4 hours. really fucked up my hustle.
MY QUESTION.....
so what i am really wondering, who do you not want to find out that you strip, why do you not want them to find out that you strip, and how do you deal with it if the situation does comes up?
thanks ladies, all input is greatly appreciated. i sincerely appreciate belonging to a community that i can discuss these sorts of things with.
Re: who do you hide this job from???
the only people who i really don't want to know i strip are random psychos and stalkers. everyone who matters to me already knows and accepts it. other people knowing i couldn't care less about, UNLESS it would make my job more dangerous ( like getting robbed on my way to my house, stalked, etc.) i also don't want future jobs knowing that i do, so im careful.
if your friend was going to blab about you being a stripper, he would have to admit that he frequented those places..which should be just as incriminating for him, but guys are always given a free pass. really nothing else i can say about the pastor situation without pretty much attacking religions which i hate so im just gunna keep my mouth shut lol. and im sorry, that sucks! can you go to a place that's further away from people you may know? because that may fuck up your hustle constantly if he's a regular or more of your friends come in.
Re: who do you hide this job from???
thanks for the input.
no, guy is not a regular... i have never seen him there before, so i was not sure at all how to even deal with this. i guess it was being caught compleatly off guarde by the whole situation that threw me. none of my other friends mind that i'm a stripper, and infact i don't think my pastor or his wife would care eaither, but i do not like telling people until i become comfortable with the idea. i guess i never anticipated this sort of situation and never got around to telling them, with all honesty. they just have never really asked, and although i do feel like they would pass judgment to an extent, by no means would they disown me. I just don't want them to find out THIS way, i want them to hear it from me.
so, time to tell them? yeah, i do not want to deal with this bullshit. i like my job, and whoever has an issue with it can go fuck themselves. yet... that $500 i didn't make cuz i was too chicken to man up and go talk to the guy myself :P for the most part, that is why i am upset.
thank you for taking the time to care and to respond. bf does NOT understand this area, so i am left with few to talk to at 2am. :)
Re: who do you hide this job from???
yeah that's one of the hard things about this job..that's good that it wouldn't be a big deal to them! they sound more open-minded than a lot of people..i grew up in a white-trash, red-neck bible belt area where my best friends and second family pretty much disowned me for stripping because they are SUPER religious it sucks :( go with your gut and do whatever you think is best for you and who you feel safe telling!
oh and i know what you mean, this is my only place to vent as well :p
Re: who do you hide this job from???
Simone87, you fucking rock :) thank you for taking the time to talk to me, i do feel a bit better now. its just that saturday night $$$ i have left to cry over now, lol. ( i had called my bf from work to ask his take on the situation, no fucking help at all :P moral support from significant others is hard to get when they don't understand why you are upset )
Re: who do you hide this job from???
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audreyalice
yet the only people that i am not ok with knowing i'm a stripper would be my pastor and his wife, as well as their children, whom i see on a regular basis. i know a lot of you are like, well fuck em if they can't accept you, which i agree with. yet saturday night when i have not worked all week, i am spending most of my night hiding.
because my pastor's dumb dick frined will not fucking leave the fucking club.
If it's such a big deal for your pastor to find out (I assume he's very judgmental of the industry or else you wouldn't care if he knew), then surely it would be just a big deal for him to find out that his friend frequents the club on such a regular basis. Like, for this guy to out you, he has to out himself. And, in all honesty, I doubt his strip clubbing is a topic of conversation that arises between him and a pastor, especially one who would condemn that kind of behaviour.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audreyalice
so what i am really wondering, who do you not want to find out that you strip, why do you not want them to find out that you strip, and how do you deal with it if the situation does comes up?
My parents - It would break their hearts and irreparably damage our relationship. As I live and dance in a city 5-6 hours away from where they live and always hold a second job, it's pretty much a non-issue. I don't even know how I would deal if it became an issue.
My colleagues at my vanilla job & acquaintances who were in my program of study - It's none of their business what else I do to to earn money, and given how small my field is in this city, I'd rather not have any potentially damaging information floating around that could keep me from getting a job. A colleague may not care, but they may not know to keep their mouth shut and could mention it in passing to a friend in the industry who happens to be hiring for a job I'm applying for and who might care. It's just safer career-wise to keep it hush hush. I don't work with the type of people that frequent strip clubs, nor do I work in the club that most young people go to or work during shifts where young people often go out, so it's fairly easy to avoid the potential for discovery. As with my parents, no idea what I'd do if it came out. Deny deny deny?
Re: who do you hide this job from???
Ooh that sucks that of all the people to come in, it was a church acquaintance!! I feel like that would be kind of one of those things where you look at each other and go "You don't say anything, I don't say anything", cause I'm pretty sure a pastor wouldn't approve of ANYONE hanging out in a strip club (if he's that way).
If you don't want to tell them, I wouldn't unless he comes back in again and it becomes clear that he is a regular. Even then you could switch clubs if you have to. But if you're sure they won't disown you or anything, go for it, it may be easier than hiding it.
Myself, I haven't told a large portion of my friends and ex #1, just because I rarely see them, and I haven't had a vanilla job since August, so they assume I'm still living on school grants/savings/boyfriend support and so work never comes up. I doubt most of them would care though; I noticed that throughout college I've basically weeded out most of my shitty, judgemental friends. I even have one who's a Mormon serving her mission right now but she doesn't care at all. Ex might care because he still thinks he's in love with me, and he's a jealous type, but that ship sailed for him, so I dgaf.
I also have not told my dad, though he knew when I was doing it a few years ago; he kinda shook his head and let it go. I'm sure it'd be "What does your boyfriend think? How much money do you make? Can I borrow some?" My parents are only surviving financially because of Social Security, so they do ask me to pay their electric and such sometimes and I think they'd just use stripping as leverage ("of course you can afford to lend us money!")
The only person I do not ever ever ever want to run into, is my douchebag ex #2, because I spent 3 years of my life trying to "fix" him and his drug habits and I went through jail with him, and he'd take the "Aww, look how you've fallen" stance. He frequents a club up near our childhood homes though, 35 miles away, but you never know when they might take a trip downtown near mine.
If someone walked in and found out... depends who. Usually best to just own it; it tends to make them kind of embarrassed if you walk right up and go "HEYYYY BUDDY!" and proceed to either make them awkward or have a good time with them. Most of my friends would probably just be surprised and then let it go.
If ex #2 walked in, I'd have to be a huge bitch by waving my money in his face, taunting him for still being a dishwasher in a restaurant and loudly mention how I'm about to graduate with 2 bachelors degrees that I paid for myself :)
Re: who do you hide this job from???
Thankfully, there's no one in my area that I would absolutely feel the need to hide from. It would break my heart if my dad's family found out what I did, because they wouldn't accept me. They're good people, they're liberal Christians, and they'd still be my family... but they wouldn't see me as who I really am anymore, and that would suck. Thankfully none of them live by me. I also hide it from my grandma, which is the most difficult one, because we're very close and she worries about my future and my finances a lot (for no real reason, unfortunately, it's just how she is).
I try not to flaunt it or even tell too many of my friends, however, because I have other business pursuits/creative endeavors and I want to be able to eventually build a brand around myself, my art and my writing and never have this come up. I'm not worried about "future employers" -- the game is changing in terms of our economy and how people make money. I don't expect to have any "future employers," because I've always been very business-minded, creative and entrepreneurial and expect to always be working for myself.
Re: who do you hide this job from???
I don't dance anymore, but I would never tell my in law family or my husbands friends/ their wives. I know he already gets comments about me from his friends and I don't need him losing his job over it. As for my in laws well there the type that look down on people with tattoos and divorced parents and the lower middle class so yeah not saying anything ever.