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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Originally Posted by
bubblegumbitch
worriedgirl, you sound like you got a great head on your shoulders and a great plan. you know your mom and you know how she will react. i understand it being dangerous telling her now could ruin your chances of freedom. get yourself together, just do what you gotta do. she isn't even helping you out but she wants to control you. i know these types my foster mother was exactly the same way. just believe in yourself that you can make it on your own. you will be fine.
Thank you that is exactly it in the least amount of words. She wants to control me and yet do nothing for me. I'll just get older living here and nothing will change. I know I can do this.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
I don't trust her she's taken 1,500 from me before and not given it back. If she sees any money and me account she will make me give it to her and then I will be stuck here. Plus she'll be mad at me for my secret.
She's already guilt tripping me about " how messed up it is for me to pay someone rent and not give her a dime".
Which makes no sense since she's always said as long as am in school I could stay for free. She flip flops alot.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Originally Posted by
CourtneyRaine
VERY good point which I didn't even think of! You really need to tell her. Chances are she's claimed you on her taxes, she has every right to if you are living with her, even if you are a college student and paying your own way. Taxes bring a whole new level of sticky to this situation.
Actually, she can only claim you if she provided 50% or more of your financial support or resources. Regardless of your age or if you are a student, if she only makes 30k/year and you made 61k, she automatically can no longer claim you on her taxes because its obvious you didnt get at least 50% of your financial support from her.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Originally Posted by
GlamourRouge
Actually, she can only claim you if she provided 50% or more of your financial support or resources. Regardless of your age or if you are a student, if she only makes 30k/year and you made 61k, she automatically can no longer claim you on her taxes because its obvious you didnt get at least 50% of your financial support from her.
That makes perfect sense but I don't think I fall into that range. I am going to tell her once I leave though.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
she sounds like a malignant narcissist
im surprised you haven't betrayed any tones of hatred towards her.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
worriedgirl
I don't trust her she's taken 1,500 from me before and not given it back. and me account she will make me give it to her and then I will be stuck here.
Whoa. What? Get out, girl. That is so not right. With all due respect to those with good families, sometimes you have to distance yourself and make your own family. Just because she is your mother is no reason to cow-tow to her. It took me 20 years to learn this, please don't be like me.
Don't let controlling people too close to you no matter what your blood ties may be. You have one life and you have to live it your own way. This seems like the impetus you need to start being your own person. Best of luck to you!
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
I had very similar situation to you, except it wasn't over camming. My parents were very controlling. I realize that they were trying to protect me, and now that I'm much older, I can see how some things that I thought were unreasonable were very reasonable. However, I don't really think you can learn to be an adult in a situation like that. It sounds like every time you try to express some independence, she feels threatened.
I agree that she absolutely has a right to demand to know what you're doing in her home. Though you're no longer a minor, she might be afraid that you're doing something illegal. However, it sounds like she doesn't have a level head about her. She actually sounds A LOT like my mom, going back and forth on what she says. If she's going to constantly threaten to kick you out, especially over little things, then it's time to find somewhere else to live, regardless of whether or not you decide to keep camming. I really don't think this has much to do with camming at all, in fact. That may be what's making this situation urgent, but it's not really the problem.
You do sound like you've thought this through. I respect you for knowing what's going on and for having a plan. I also respectfully remind you that you're 19 and have so much to learn. Your mom may have good reasons for her actions that you can't see. And while she's probably not acting completely rational, just keep in mind that she's your mom & she probably loves you more than anything & doesn't want to see you in trouble.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Originally Posted by
theharlot
she sounds like a malignant narcissist
im surprised you haven't betrayed any tones of hatred towards her.
She is narcissistic and self-righteous. She thinks her way of approaching things is best even if there are several reasonable ways to get the same result. To me life is serious but its not that serious. She always says "if you do it the way I do it you wouldn't have any problems". Which doesn't make sense because I don't have problems and number two I don't have her brain it'd be impossible for me to reach the same conclusion she would. And by conclusions we are talking about petty stuff like how I stir food while I'm cooking it.lol
It's too much pressure living with her even about small stuff. I do get frustrated with her but I'm very good at keeping calm.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DoodlebugBites
Whoa. What? Get out, girl. That is so not right. With all due respect to those with good families, sometimes you have to distance yourself and make your own family. Just because she is your mother is no reason to cow-tow to her. It took me 20 years to learn this, please don't be like me.
Don't let controlling people too close to you no matter what your blood ties may be. You have one life and you have to live it your own way. This seems like the impetus you need to start being your own person. Best of luck to you!
Yes you're exactly right. I think I'm way too polite/nice and that I will continue to tolerate people that don't respect me. I also tend to stay in bad situations too long thinking things will change. But after all you can't control what others do only what one does themselves. And I can change my situation by leaving.
Family or not some people have to be cut loose.
By being out and about I've learned that's there's people out there that WILL genuinely care and not judge. They won't care enough to pay my rent.lol But I could be living a much more stress free life.
I want to be my own person and smarter. Being here makes me dumb. When I'm by myself I become assertive and stronger since I have to depend on myself. But when I'm back home I get stifled and weaker since my sibling always stands up for me. And of course my mother doesn't really give me any opportunities to use my own brain.
Leaving will make me more well rounded.
Controlling only helps the controlling person's ego. The person being controlled is usually left with not much to show for their obedience despite jumping through all those hoops. They're usually left in a much horrible situation for not attending to their own personal life and goals after the controlling person becomes bored of them. Or either they continue to follow and things never change. That will not be me.lol
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cam_Model_Jess
I had very similar situation to you, except it wasn't over camming. My parents were very controlling. I realize that they were trying to protect me, and now that I'm much older, I can see how some things that I thought were unreasonable were very reasonable. However, I don't really think you can learn to be an adult in a situation like that. It sounds like every time you try to express some independence, she feels threatened.
I agree that she absolutely has a right to demand to know what you're doing in her home. Though you're no longer a minor, she might be afraid that you're doing something illegal. However, it sounds like she doesn't have a level head about her. She actually sounds A LOT like my mom, going back and forth on what she says. If she's going to constantly threaten to kick you out, especially over little things, then it's time to find somewhere else to live, regardless of whether or not you decide to keep camming. I really don't think this has much to do with camming at all, in fact. That may be what's making this situation urgent, but it's not really the problem.
You do sound like you've thought this through. I respect you for knowing what's going on and for having a plan. I also respectfully remind you that you're 19 and have so much to learn. Your mom may have good reasons for her actions that you can't see. And while she's probably not acting completely rational, just keep in mind that she's your mom & she probably loves you more than anything & doesn't want to see you in trouble.
I'm glad someone else understands. My mom is a bit over the top. And about leaving regardless of camming is right. I was thinking the other night. I stay here I want to find another job since I want to save more. And then I thought "hell I can do that anywhere" and without the stress. Why stay here and do it? It isn't about camming at all.
My friend is awesome I have contacted her so I'm leaving next month. She knows what I do so she added internet to her service plan. She doesn't even want to charge me but I couldn't go for that since I wouldn't want to be a user.lol She travels alot so she's only home a few days a month so I'd have plenty of time to cam.
I know that my mom isn't completely irrational and that I'm only 19 (so I'm lacking mentally in some regards concerning life experience) and I don't know everything. But I can make up for that by sticking to certain precautions and rules for myself.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Originally Posted by
delilahd
You. Need. To. Move.
Heck yes. I'm going to bounce next month.lol
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
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Originally Posted by
Rosemary Rabbit
Love my mama but...y'know.
Yes.lol
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Ohhh parents, I WISH my mother was liberal. She just happens to be a devout Christian and again, if what I did didn't pair up with the "bible" or what she said, I was being "disobedient" even at 22! I moved out when I was 19, then moved back in when I was 22 for a year before leaving and never coming back. I started camming at home and one time she found a suction cup dildo that I'd previously purchased, she went berserk and tried to make me throw it out, this all coming from a woman who had two children out of wedlock though I was born after they wed. She seriously thought me masturbating was of the devil. Though I struggled a few times on my own, leaving was the best thing I ever did. Good luck on whatever decision you choose to make.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
wow, really? Im surprised you didnt leave sooner. If you really wanna stick it to her, Sel as much as you can on ebay till you get enough to where you dont gotta worry and just leave. She will rethink her nagging. I paid my parents rent before i left with my partner from selling since i couldnt cam but when they left which was almost never. Now I'm a fully fledged cam girl. They still worry and wonder but I have etsy shops, ebay, and I'm good at faking documents if I had to. They still dont know. Do whatever makes you happy. She will get over it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
worriedgirl
I don't trust her she's taken 1,500 from me before and not given it back. If she sees any money and me account she will make me give it to her and then I will be stuck here. Plus she'll be mad at me for my secret.
She's already guilt tripping me about " how messed up it is for me to pay someone rent and not give her a dime".
Which makes no sense since she's always said as long as am in school I could stay for free. She flip flops alot.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Run babygirl! Run!
I hope by next month, you mean like April first, ya?
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Camming while living with the rents is a BAD BAD idea. I took a year off camming to stay with my parents and as tempting as the extra money was, I didn't want to risk losing my relationship with them if they found out I was camming in their home, so instead I took a not-so-great vanilla job.
I hate to sound rude, but if you stay in your parents' home I think it's disrespectful to do this behind their back. If you can come up with a good cover story, that's great ... but the way your mom sounds, I don't think you'll find a good enough cover story. I think your best bet is to find a way to move out. No matter what your age unfortunately, if you live with your parents for free, you need to follow their rules ... including not camming, if your mom isn't okay with it.
Also, I'm assuming since you live with them you cam without sound? My income went up a lot when I went from no sound to sound, so that's something to consider.
I would move out if I were you. :)
Sorry if I'm repeating what others said. I breezed through the replies ... lol.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kortneykay
She just happens to be a devout Christian and again, if what I did didn't pair up with the "bible" or what she said, I was being "disobedient" even at 22!
Exactly.
Sounds alot like my my mom. (Once again I'm glad I'm not the only one) To me religion if one believes in it is a INDIVIDUAL affair. One may think camming is bad. But it doesn't bother me morally. I hate when others press their own personal guidelines regarding religion on others. Because after all God will judge everyone individually. I don't need to follow any other person's moral regimen for getting into the pearly gates.
If God is God. My mother thinks she's a demigod or something. Since she's influenced by religion. She thinks her opinions carry the same weight as the bible. Between Her and God I can't win.lolol It sucks.
That reminded me of something. I know it was time ago but why did she feel the need to throw out your stuff? It obviously didn't bother you morally owning such a item.
She has absolutely no respect for me she throws my stuff out too. She threw out my brand new mountain bike. And a rare poster of one of my favorite singers who happens to sing a evil genre metal. Also some rare clothing as well that I can't find anywhere.
Plain controlling and rude.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
worriedgirl
Exactly.
Sounds alot like my my mom. (Once again I'm glad I'm not the only one) To me religion if one believes in it is a INDIVIDUAL affair. One may think camming is bad. But it doesn't bother me morally. I hate when others press their own personal guidelines regarding religion on others. Because after all God will judge everyone individually. I don't need to follow any other person's moral regimen for getting into the pearly gates.
If God is God. My mother thinks she's a demigod or something. She she's influenced by religion. She thinks her opinions carry the same weight as the bible. Between Her and God I can't win.lolol It sucks.
That reminded me of something. I know it was time ago but why did she feel the need to throw out your stuff? It obviously didn't bother you morally owning such a item.
She has absolutely no respect for me she throws my stuff out too. She threw out my brand new mountain bike. And a rare poster of one of my favorite singers who happens to sing a evil genre metal. Also some rare clothing as well that I can't find anywhere.
Plain controlling and rude.
She didn't like me having sex, period without me being married, even with myself haha. My mom grew up Pentecostal on her own, her family wasn't that much into religion but if she would've stayed I would've been wearing long skirts and dresses for years. She went non denominational before I was born so it was a bit lax but still, very "Christian". She felt that since I was in her house I shouldn't have been masturbating as that's something she sees as a sin. So, anything that resembled a penis that goes into my vag wasn't allowed in her home because it was practically "fornicating" and I wasn't married at the time. She noted that when I got married I could do what I wanted if I wanted sex toys with my husband but she didn't want it in her home at that time. Soon after that I moved out so it was all good haha. I love her, but like you mentioned, I find it to be individual.
I just felt she was a hypocrite a lot of the times because she conceived me first before marrying my dad, and she had my brother out of wedlock as well. I understand that mothers wish to do what's best for their children but stopping someone from masturbating is a bit much and I would only expect it from someone who actually practiced what they preached. It was like oh, so I can't masturbate or have sex but the only reason you didn't get away with it is because you got pregnant? LOL. Gotta go, mom!
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kortneykay
She didn't like me having sex, period without me being married, even with myself haha. My mom grew up Pentecostal on her own, her family wasn't that much into religion but if she would've stayed I would've been wearing long skirts and dresses for years. She went non denominational before I was born so it was a bit lax but still, very "Christian". She felt that since I was in her house I shouldn't have been masturbating as that's something she sees as a sin. So, anything that resembled a penis that goes into my vag wasn't allowed in her home because it was practically "fornicating" and I wasn't married at the time. She noted that when I got married I could do what I wanted if I wanted sex toys with my husband but she didn't want it in her home at that time. Soon after that I moved out so it was all good haha. I love her, but like you mentioned, I find it to be individual.
I just felt she was a hypocrite a lot of the times because she conceived me first before marrying my dad, and she had my brother out of wedlock as well. I understand that mothers wish to do what's best for their children but stopping someone from masturbating is a bit much and I would only expect it from someone who actually practiced what they preached. It was like oh, so I can't masturbate or have sex but the only reason you didn't get away with it is because you got pregnant? LOL. Gotta go, mom!
My mom had me before she married too. I was actually at the wedding. I was only a few months old so of course I didn't remember. She revealed this to me just recently.lololol
I don't why it's so important for her to press rules on me she doesn't actually follow herself.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CummingCouple
They still worry and wonder but I have etsy shops, ebay, and I'm good at faking documents if I had to. They still dont know.
That's awesome.lol
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BANHammerGoddess
Run babygirl! Run!
I hope by next month, you mean like April first, ya?
Haha I am going to run. She gave me a month so I'm leaving mid April. Things are calm now which is nice she forgot about pressuring for now. But I'm still leaving.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sammii
Camming while living with the rents is a BAD BAD idea. I took a year off camming to stay with my parents and as tempting as the extra money was, I didn't want to risk losing my relationship with them if they found out I was camming in their home, so instead I took a not-so-great vanilla job.
I hate to sound rude, but if you stay in your parents' home I think it's disrespectful to do this behind their back. If you can come up with a good cover story, that's great ... but the way your mom sounds, I don't think you'll find a good enough cover story. I think your best bet is to find a way to move out. No matter what your age unfortunately, if you live with your parents for free, you need to follow their rules ... including not camming, if your mom isn't okay with it.
Also, I'm assuming since you live with them you cam without sound? My income went up a lot when I went from no sound to sound, so that's something to consider.
I would move out if I were you. :)
Sorry if I'm repeating what others said. I breezed through the replies ... lol.
No worries about repeating your post was different yes. It is alot to read through. Yes you are right is isn't exactly right. It'll be much better when I'm gone can cam more freely. The sound thing as never been an issue though since I never used it even when I used to have complete privacy. The thought of talking freaks me out. It probably would help though.
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Re: Help Somewhat Busted. Mom is pressuring me for documents/info.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
worriedgirl
My mom had me before she married too. I was actually at the wedding. I was only a few months old so of course I didn't remember. She revealed this to me just recently.lololol
I don't why it's so important for her to press rules on me she doesn't actually follow herself.
Well, my mom was dating my dad and got knocked up but they were married by the time I was actually born. Still, she got preggers before they got married so it's still fornicating lol.