Vanilla job, will I be outed?
Just kidding. :D
<- is a bitch.
I've got to start my 2 year internship for school in the fall, so I'm filling out the form. There's this big section about, "we're doing a background check on you, do you want to tell us what will show up there?" and, "is there anything that we should know that may affect your job performance that WON'T show up on the background check?" I hemmed and hawed over including, "I've done porn for 8 years now, so you probably don't want me working at a school or with kids, in case parents find out and complain" in there (still haven't decided, btw) and I thought to myself that Jesus, I'm whinging like another one of those crazy outed threads.
:D So I had to post this just to watch all the vets' brains explode.
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
congrats on the new job
one thing to think about...things that show up on a background check don't have to be constructed solely as a negative. If you include a background in porn, don't just frame it as 'parents of young kids may hate me', you could also include a sentence or three on why this particular work history actually makes you more suited to the job (skills you've acquired, how it has deepened your understanding of concepts that may relate to your new internship). Not an essay, all I'm saying is that if you include comments on this work history, think about including the benefits of your adult work as well as any particular repercussions that may arise (and on both 'sides' shape your comments in ways that fit the culture of your school/program, as well)
and again, congrats!
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
I looked at the title like really. Then I saw who posted it and was like this has to be a joke or a mass thread. Low and behold you're joking. I bet this was your face when you were typing the post:
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3...gtvpo1_400.gif
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Blovely
Haha... Some people just have too much free time; )
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, but truth fears no questions.
I find being preemptive and forthcoming with these matters can be wonderful or terrible, there is very little grey area. After much consideration this winter I decided to "out" myself to someone in the vanilla industry I work in and am continuing my education for. It was relevant because of how some things were affecting my concentration in school and it felt great to tell someone not in my social circle/family about it.
Of all people to tell, I decided it "had" to be my Mormon, politically conservative, married with 3 kids and community hero Professor/program director. I stayed after class one night for an hour, and at the end of many tears I told him (mostly) everything--including how isolated I feel hiding my past from literally everyone new I meet. Of course it could have exploded in my face (expulsion, unfair treatment, no letter of recommendation) but he already knew me for my inquisitive nature and book smarts, and he never held it against me. The only change I have noticed is that he used to make occasional stripper jokes (I am in a class of only 3 females) and he hasn't done that since I came clean--LOL!!
I think it perplexed him that his book-worm, social outcast, hair-in-a-messy-ponytail star pupil had moonlighted as a stripper for over 2 years. (And also answered how I paid my tuition off cash before anyone else in the class and own my condo). Overall I judged his character and decided that someone as inspiring as him had to be a big enough person to set aside personal beliefs, maintain my privacy, and then continue to be a nonjudgmental, supportive role model.
You really have to judge the type of person/people/organization you're opening yourself up to. Evaluate what the repercussions of misjudging them could turn into. And ask yourself this: am I sharing my story so I feel honest and understood? Or because of fear and uncertainty about not sharing?
And I'll say one last thing--I still regret not telling another teacher of mine about stripping while I was doing it. I don't know if she ever suspected anything (and I still honestly don't know how she'd react) but something about our post-graduation relationship seems incomplete with that secret still lingering in the midst.
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
Update! I went in there and told the internship coordinator. It was totally awkward. I've decided that telling people you're in the adult industry is primarily awkward because it invites strangers to think about you having sex.
Anyway. She asked why I mentioned it.
More proof that this forum is teh awesomesauce, before Loveshooks' input I would have just brought up the negatives. I told the coordinator that the only cases I'd ever seen (aside from Law and Order) where there had been any kind of issue is when the adult star in question works in a school. In those cases, the issue is really more of perception, "these dirty people are teaching our children!" and that, to the best of my knowledge, there has never been an issue where an adult star was inappropriate with the children.
Thanks to Loveshooks I was able to tell the coordinator that I brought it up so that the school would know ahead of time in case anyone tried to, "be ridiculous and make it a scandal," and so that the school could place me in an appropriate position such as something that's not politically vulnerable and perhaps something where my strengths as someone, "with this kind of experience" might be sympathetic, useful and understanding.
I had to laugh when she said, "Thank you for being open with me -I don't think you should tell the organization you interview with! but it's good that you told me."
She nodded and thought and said that she would talk to her colleagues and do some research, but she didn't see it being an issue, particularly as I don't want to work with children. She said some very nice things about how thoughtful it was that I was, "brave enough" to, "get out in front"
Re: Vanilla job, will I be outed?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
IsobelWren
:D So I had to post this just to watch all the vets' brains explode.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/295...nd-blown-o.gif