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When/How did you come out?
Looking for a little inspiration from some of you lovely ladies; how/when did you come out as a webcam girl?
Basically, I just graduated college and started camming and already I can see how lucrative this will be. The only problem is that my family doesn't know! I live with my mother and work a vanilla job during the day and when my mom isn't home I cam. Just working around her hours I've already made enough to move out and I know once I have my own place I could make even more since I'd be able to work all day. But, with the small income from my vanilla job, my mother thinks I'm ridiculous to want to move across the country and start my own life because she thinks I'm only making a couple hundred a week and have no job lined up in the city I want to move to. Every time she starts lecturing me to be realistic about my money I just want to shout "Look, I do porn and I make lots of money and I'm leaving and I have everything under control!" But I just don't know how to say it >.< She's pretty cool but I don't quite know how she'd react to webcamming...
So, how did you guys go about coming out?
(PS- Sorry if this has already been addressed elsewhere. I just kinda needed to vent!)
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Re: When/How did you come out?
LOL, DEF do NOT scream "I do porn". I don't have much advice but you cracked me up with that one lol.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I did it for a solid month to make sure I liked it. Then I told my family one by one. First my sister, mom, and then my dad. All on the same day. I didn't go into detail with my parents. I told them I get naked on the internet, on a webcam, for money and it is considered porn. They laughed. I told them I make more working 10-15 hrs a week than I would full time with my degree. They were cool with it. I told them I just wanted to let them know so they heard it from me. It has greatly increased our standard of living already and I'm almost 3 months into it. I felt the only way I could successful and branch out with it was to be honest with them.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
Just wanted to say I'm in the same boat as you in that I live with my mom also. We are in the process of upgrading our internet. I personally don't think I would ever tell her just because I kind of want some boundaries between us, but that is just me.
If you feel you want to tell her, sit her down and explain that you do internet modeling, it's considered adult work (sounds better than porn even thou its the same difference) and see how she takes it?
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I have only told 2 friends- 1 I have been best friends with since I was five and a girl I used to dance with when I was 18 and her and her boyfriend web-cam and she found me on twitter lol. I have seriously thought about telling my family but I don't think I will. I have a great job as a Pastry Chef and if they find out- they find out!
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I don't think I will ever come out, I enjoy having a power secret ;)
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I worked for a while, decided to tell my mom and sister. Mom was great, sister not so much, and still gives me the 'you could do so much better' talk to this day. After a while longer, I got brave enough to tell my dad, and a few very close friends. My other siblings/extended family/friends don't know, and I'm okay with that for now.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
No one knows but my mom and my closest friends. My mom kinda figured out by herself over time from hanging out at my place and seeing/hearing the clues.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I've been out many times to family. I just tell them I took on an extra job being a cam girl. The response was 50/50% but I really don't care. It's my life so I do what I want, how I want and whenever I want. Approval is neither desired nor required.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Marina Starr
I've been out many times to family. I just tell them I took on an extra job being a cam girl. The response was 50/50% but I really don't care. It's my life so I do what I want, how I want and whenever I want. Approval is neither desired nor required.
Attachment 34146
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Re: When/How did you come out?
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Re: When/How did you come out?
Only 3 people in my real life know.....those 3 could care less....don't plan to tell anyone else though
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I can't stand the stigma that people have about sex work being degrading and sex workers only do it because they're desperate/can't hold a "real job", so I choose to only tell the people in my life who are open minded enough to understand that this job actually makes me feel empowered. I worked crappy fast food jobs from 14-19, while being a full time student, and now that I can pick my own hours and set my own schedule while finally making enough money to live comfortable AND having a good time doing it, I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Certain people will never be able to understand that (ie certain members of my family), so I choose not to tell them. I don't want to have to listen to their ignorant opinions or judgement. I've only been telling the people that I know will be happy for me. It's not that I'm ashamed, I just don't want anyone bringing me down when this is a decision that doesn't affect anyone but me.
If I planned on being in the adult industry full time for the rest of my life, I'd eventually end up telling my family because I am fairly close to them, but I'm in college right now so I'll probably stop camming/only do it occasionally on weekends once I get my degree. What my family doesn't know won't hurt them :P
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Re: When/How did you come out?
Hello, I'm a new camgirl and I see a lot of anxiety here about how to conceal/work around the 'what do you do?' question.... for once, I guess I have an answer to that and NO ONE will ever know if you're telling the truth or bullshitting (I've been freelancing for all my life and you can have very good months, as well as shitty ones.... but they might help explain how you couldn't make rent last month, but you paid off all your debts *and* the downpayment on a car next week.
I'm a FL translator, and people totally misconceive this job, so if you even half mumble another language (if you have good writing skills in English too), you can find a lot of online work either translating, editing, localising, subtitling or proofreading. LOTS of sites such as about.com and etc offer compensation in exchange for sound proofreading. Likewise, you can earn a good living if you set out to it, ghostwriting for blogs and news sites. Also, transcribing voicemails and doctor's notes into text files.
You can be a mystery shopper or consumer, and then go out to fancy dinners and get refunded +10 15 dollars, that might explain your being able to go out or treat a friend out.
You can also work in more tedious coding/DP sites, they pay well and it's very boring. There's also lots of work.
You can always be vague and say you work as a jack of all trades online. I've been doing it for years and I've successfully eluded the justification problem.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I am a 56 yo MILF and no one knows that I work as a webcam girl except my husband. The younger men are my biggest fans. My kids would not approve, and neither would my family. I went to college for 8 years and have 3 degrees but love sex and prefer to work out of my home. If I get found out, someone has to be frequenting the same sites that I work on! I use an alias name and try not to post full face shots as my main pic. I am proud of my work but don't want to hurt my mother and children so I lay low and avoid public situations. I hope this helps.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
Before I started camming, I originally wanted to be a Burlesque dancer. I was really hyped to get into it, and discussed it with my mother who actually loved the film "Gypsy", and through conversing with her, I figured that she must surely feel at ease with more risque professions. She was fine with that. My desire for being a Burlesque dancer was then pretty much taken over when I found out about camming. I researched as much as possible, then told my mother and sister, both of whom exploded at me over it.
They blackmailed, guilt-tripped, belittled, and hugely insulted me. So I thought "fuck them" and started camming in private. If ever they find out - which they probably will at some point - and decide to rant and rave at me, fuck them. They can blow up all they want, I'm making my living the way I see fit.
Be prepared for a reaction that could be anything... I thought I knew my mother and sister perfectly well. Their reaction hurt me big time. I never thought they'd react to me the way they reacted when I told them about camming (at that point too, it was only a freaking idea), and it has seriously changed my relationship with them.
The baggage of secrecy is another thing entirely ~ I shall remain a liar for the rest of my life when it comes to meeting new people with their own perceptions of sex work, which has it's own repercussions in and of itself.
New ladies, tread carefully, and think long and hard about if this is really the life you want for yourself. It isn't easy. Don't treat camming like a summer romance that you can get rid of in a few months if you decide that it's not for you, because even if you cam for only a couple of months, and later decide that you don't want it anymore, sex work history sticks like glue. ~ I have taken the risk that my parents, family and friends - anyone who has met me - could perhaps be confronted with the intrusive display of what the inside of my vagina looks like through an ad; see me online; come across my Twitter.. anything. For any future career, there are also gaps in employment that you will need to explain, and the mine-field that can be back-ground checks for if you ever want a career in childcare or anything like that.
Deciding to become a sex worker, leaving a previous job for it, knowing how it will affect your future careers for LIFE with this being on background checks, and taking the risk of coming out about it to your friends / family, boyfriends, can change your life for better or for worse. It has changed mine. I don't regret deciding to cam, but the pros and cons are extreme.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
Never! I've been doing this 2 1/2 years now & only my boyfriend knows, and that's the way it's staying!
Don't feel you have to tell people. a) They probably don't want to know b) Most people don't know what the heck camming is & will think you're just a lesser version of a prostitute, c) You will encourage weirdos & freebie hunters, d) You will endanger your future career prospects if you plan on being a teacher, or anything in the public eye, and e) Many people will hold it against you either overtly or covertly, and WILL use it against you at some point.
Sorry if this sounds like so much scare mongering, but this is what you have to be prepared for in this line of work. Sucks, but that's how things are. It's very tempting to tell your closest friends/ family in the spirit of being open, and just being able to share a big part of your life, and sometimes you will WISH you had people to share your day with who understand some of the frustrations and joys that go with this job. But honestly, it's not worth the future hassle.
Also remember it's 99% likely you will get outed at some point anyway. This is especially true if you work on tip based sites like MFC. So why rush the process?
I understand entirely the bit about your mom wondering how you can afford to move across country. I often get raised eyebrows from friends who think I sit home doing nothing all day, when I am able to buy a new car, or take a holiday on the spur of the moment. That's probably the part I find hardest, and the bit I forget to cover up. So now I watch what I tell people, and if they specifically ask I say I had a bit of money saved up. You can also say you did some promotional work for someone or sold something.
Forums like this are great for sharing that stuff, and for making friends (though be careful who you share personal information with) :D Welcome to the family xx
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I never came out. lol. I probably never will. Of course, I have always been labeled "the wild child" SO it probably wouldnt matter. They have "given up on me" so to speak.One day they may find out from someone else, but Oh well. I pay my own bills.
My family noticed my spending habits changed, so a joke was going around that I was a stripper. I just laughed it off with them. LOL. Thats far as that went.
I did however admit to my sister that I have a sugardaddy and escorted before. WELL the result was that she has become more jealous of me and the amount of money I get. Our relationship has become worse.So, watch who you tell- consider the source 1st. Id rather not have told her knowing the result, because you never know how people will feel. With that said, I cant control other people's feelings- so who gives a fuck. It takes THICK skin to work in the adult sex industry.
I have a fuck it attitude tho....but really think about it before you tell your mom. Some mothers are understanding and others aren't. One mother will celebrate ANYTHING their child does, while others will disown them- consider the source basically. How important is it for you to be 100% honest with her? Also, keep in mind YOU ARE AN ADULT with your own life decision to make, that do have consequences.
Good luck with this.I hope it turns out well either way :)
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Re: When/How did you come out?
100 % correct you really need thick skin to work in this industry! I don't think anyone needs to know the only person's feelings I truly considered was my hubby's and he was completely cool with it and actually has started camming w/ me once in a while. I really do not care what other people think and I am super proud of paying my rent in 1 week's work- no one pays my bills so if they are trolling around my rooms then hey- don't look? or enjoy and tip I will gladly take your money!!! lol.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
Incantatious, you are always spot-on.
With me, personally... it's complicated. I'm just gonna say that my family (mom, dad and sister) know, and I noticed that ever since I told them, I definitely feel a certain vibe of "inferiority" directed at me from my mom and sister. My dad's always been the coolest with me. I know he hates the fact I'm doing it, but I'd like to believe he'll never think less of me. Then again, I wasn't in the best terms with my mom and sister to begin with, so there's that.
My partner - well, I told him when I did MFC last year, and he hated, hated, HATED it. I think he just doesn't understand and I think we'll never agree about it. I still didn't tell him I'm doing SM now cause I really don't have any energy to deal with his lecturing me over the phone (we are in a LDR). The thing is... we're together again in about a month, either in Israel or at his place, so the truth would have to be revealed again, cause I don't want to stop on August.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I live with my grandparents and thankfully they can't hear to well. I told them I was going to be a prostitute and they just laughed and said be careful. We have a weird sense of humor in this house. My pap cashes my checks so he's like I know you're up to something on that computer. I just can't bring myself to say the truth. I have told 6 friends. The female one I said I do fetish clips for extra cash. The 5 others are male and I was just like I'm on cam and make clips and they're all about giving me tips on what guys like. Plus I figure if they ever see my videos they'll tell me cause they know what sites I'm on. Of course they want videos and they know the answer is no.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
I told my mother today. I just want my bases covered cause I'd rather have her hear it from me.
She laughed about it, she said all the power to you, and we smoked a spliff.
I swear she has been the coolest since my dad passed. She gets older and merrier.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
The only people that know I cam are my mom and a few very close friends.
I started with the sex industry when I was like 20 (24 now) I did some pinup modeling which lead me to other adult work and I found camming eventually. I don't consider myself 'out' though. When I started camming a few years ago I lived with my mom- which I currently do as well- it was hard to hide camming from her living at home. She's pretty chill in a lot of ways and I'm lucky but every now and then she throws it in my face.
Its actually been rough, because when we argue she threatens to tell the rest of my family- my very conservative Republican family (not like that matters but...) Pretty sure they would disown me for it, though it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world lol. I don't think my mother ever would, but it has caused strain in our relationship truthfully.
When I first told her about camming I don't think she fully understood what camming was. As a BBW I did (still am, but I was a lot heavier a few years ago) I did a lot of fetish work that didn't so much involve straight up masturbating. So she kind of just assumed it was that kind of stuff. Only this past year has she realized I straight up fuck myself. Wasn't a pleasant discussion lol. She threw around the word 'prostitute' a few times. As much as I try to defend it she still thinks badly of it, its just something we don't really discuss anymore. When she see's I'm home and my door is closed, it means I'm working and she doesn't bother me. NOT my ideal living situation by any means but I'm not full time with camming and still not making enough to move out...yet.
So it's basically going to have its struggles when it comes to being 'out'. I know that deep down inside my mom is disappointed in me and that actually makes ME feel like shit, but it is what it is.
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Re: When/How did you come out?
(((Hugs))) FallenAngel. I know it's not the exact same thing but years ago I told my mom (who has always been very supportive of me) that I had a girlfriend. She was disgusted and wouldn't let me hug or touch her for months. I was so hurt, and completely shocked. But it does pass. We're ok now :) Hang in there xxx