Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
I am basically coming out of retirement. UGH. I quit a year and a half ago and honestly I was so happy. I was done in more ways than one. Shortly after quitting I was diagnosed with Crohns and a recent complication of severe anemia had me in the hospital for a couple days getting several blood transfusions. I also suffer severe chronic migraines.
Anyways....my current living situation has become almost as toxic as the diseases and I need to move asap. I refuse to live in a shithole although I don't mind living quaintly but even in the more modestly priced places in my area I am gonna need a lot more income living by myself. Also I pretty much have no furniture so I'm kind of starting from scratch.
I really don't mind going back to dancing especially since I know it's only temporary. Once I pay off some debt and furnish my home I will no longer need it. The one thing that does bother me is telling anyone. I think eventually it will get back to my sister since she used to dance as well and still has some friends working there. My plan though is to work at a couple clubs out of town as well as my old home club...try to spread it out. I'm also really worried my boyfriend will find out as it's a very touchy subject for us. He's said before if I ever had to go back as long as it was only temporary he'd be ok with it but I don't think he would be.
Has anyone danced and kept it completely secret.....particularly gone BACK to dancing and kept it hush hush? Any tips?
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
Your boyfriend will find out. How do you plan on covering up shifts and trips out of town? I get wanting to keep it secret, but considering he said he'd be fine with it as a temporary thing, I think you ought to just be upfront. Him finding out you tried to hide it will be way worse.
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
He works nights at a club 40 minutes away thursday-saturday. And I'm only planning on working maybe 2-4 times a month.
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
I don't have any real tips or advice from you, other than keeping it a secret from others is one thing -but I wouldn't keep it a secret from your bf. Because he'll more than likely find out somehow & if he does isn't it worse that you kept it a secret from him than anything?
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
I think you could keep it secret from your family as long as your sister didn't find out by making up lies but ur bf will find out unles he is away alot and or u guys dont spend much time together, really where else would you be late at night all the time besides dancing or worse, another dude.lol. So u only know ur relationship and if you can hide it or not, maybe if you only dance like once per week but what good it that... He most likely wont be ok with it but hey u gotta do what ya gotta do and if hes nt handing over the $$ its gotta come from somewhere..
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
i don't think you should go into it if keeping it secret is such a huge deal for you at this time. there is NO way you can be totally sure that you won't find out, and i don't believe anybody should go into this field thinking they can be guaranteed anonymity. sooner or later, you will be found out. especially by your boyfriend. you may be able to keep it hush hush for awhile if you are only working 2 shifts a month, but is it worth it for that little money? unless you are in a club where you can earn a grand an night..
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
I thought I could keep it a secret when I danced a few years back. I danced for almost 2 years without him knowing. The bust? When one of his coworkers/friends saw me and gave him the lovely phone call. I'd HIGHLY recommend telling him. If he can't help you and/or deal with it, you may want to reconsider the nature of your relationship.
I am now dating my bf who I was 100% honest with from the start. It's soooo much better not carrying that burden on your shoulders. Also, I made it clear: No "visits" to my work, no friends "visiting me", nothing. My job is my business and (for me) it's been the best way to handle my career. Oh, and his mom knows. LOL. She's quite liberal so it's not an issue, but it's def. awwwwkward.
Best of luck!
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
Thank ladies...thinking about it I really don't think I'd be able to tell him and I hate lying. I'm going in this saturday since I'm scheduled and that's it.
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
Random thought would he be OK with you being a waitress or a shotgirl at the club? Would that be an option for you?
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
Yeah probably but I couldn't be a shot girl at a club knowing what kinda money I could be making dancing so I'd be better off being a shot girl at a regular night club.
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
What if u just told ur bf u were a shot girl, not a stripper? would he accept that ? then ur being gone could be accounted for & wouldnt be so obvious
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ava$
What if u just told ur bf u were a shot girl, not a stripper? would he accept that ? then ur being gone could be accounted for & wouldnt be so obvious
That's totally my lie I tell mine LOL those girls do great from what I've seen :)
Re: Going back and keeping it a secret...possible?
lol, mine too to everyone who knows my work hours and has a reason to know. It works well unless they decide to pop up at the club u say u work at which is y u should tell them its a diff club so they dont pop up n c u getting naked instead they just wont see u at all..but u can also tell the bf that bfs arent allowed and hell get u fired if he shows up