Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
A quick backstory on this guy, we'll call him Steven, was pals with my boyfriend when they were in highschool. We clicked solely as friends, he isn't attractive. Shortly after when my bf and I were apart, Steven and I definitely sent a nudie pic to one another. I even robotically slept with him so he would stop bitching about being a virgin. Anyways, my man and I got back together, he saw the photos Steven and I exchanged. He stopped talking to him and that was 4 years ago. He forbade me to speak to him. I did not obey.
When I started dancing 2 years ago, Steven was the only one I could confide in from cutting tampon strings while I worked to my problematic relationship. I am not attracted to him. He started coming to the club to see me because he is a lover of strippers and all clubs. He was my first regular. Still is one.
Now that I've learned how to hustle in the shitty dive bar I'm at, when he comes in I may be busy but I always carve out a good chunk of time for him. He pays me well so it's worth it. The other Friday night was busy for us and he came in pretty late. I was landing a whale at the time and had others waiting for me. I didn't have a moment to say hi to him. Before I knew it he was getting a dance from one of my friends. He never does this. Finally I had a free minute to say hey and he's like mad and saying he is getting a dance from another girl who has been hounding him even tho he has been my regular. She takes him for two or maybe three VIP dances.
Later it's the end of the night and I'm buzzing around him and he's totally mad and over me. Brushing off shit I say and saying 'Hmm maybe I'll get a dance from her over there." I'm like ok I get it I'm sorry I was busy. Sometimes he just comes in to drink and sometimes he spends so I wasn't exactly jumping at him that night. Needless to say, he left without even getting a single dance from me. Then he text me some rude thing about how he's supposed to be my best regular. I haven't replied since. DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS SITUATION!!! Help. I do still want his money and friendship.
Also, today is his birthday and I really did wanna say happy birthday, but I'm a stubborn bitch I guess. He actually texted me and said it, acknowledging I guess he knew I was withholding it from him. So I said it back. But good lort. Any advice is much appreciated.
Re: Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
He sounds very high maintenance. His fault he didn't get any attention from you, when he came in on a busy Fri nite, & you were, ahem, BUSY! You already apologised but he is being a child abt it. Not much more you can do until he grows up & can keep in mind that you are in the SC to work for you, not work for him.
Re: Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
If you really care about this friendship, stop seeing him as a customer. It seems like a pretty dysfunctional friendship on both sides, so I don't even know if it's possible or worth it to salvage it but that's up to you.
Honestly, even as a customer he seems too needy. They all expire eventually, so it's possible maybe his time is coming. My advice is to make it clear that his behavior was unacceptable. He can get dances with whoever he wants, but lording it over you for a reaction is not cool. When he does things like this, don't give him the reaction he is looking for. Don't be angry or overly apologetic. Act cool and aloof, let him know you won't put up with it, and ignore him until he starts acting right. If he never starts acting right then just cut him off, he is no longer worth it.
Re: Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
Is he a customer or a friend? If he's a customer, cut him off. That shit is too needy and might prevent you from making money elsewhere.
If he is a friend... Wait. No, he's not a friend. He's a guy that thinks he has a sincere friendship/relationship with you, and you think he is a guy that likes you that you think you can make money off of.
You can't be "friends" with someone, fuck him, and then put him in the role of a loyal customer, and expect him to stay in that role. He is acting like a jealous, spurned lover who has been lead on because that is WHAT HE IS.
If you want him as a customer, treat him like he is a customer. Keep it ITC, dance for him, take his money, and keep your emotions out of it. If you want him as a friend (or boyfriend), you need to have a serious conversation about what your job entails (taking money for dancing/attention while ITC). If he can't understand that's a financial transaction, Cut. Him. Off.
Re: Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
you cannot have both a good, honest friendship , and then have him as a spending regular. just isn't going to work out..so you gotta choose one, if the relationship is AT ALL repairable..although i would never put up with that crap from a regular, fuck that!
Re: Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
It sounds like it is time to let him go as a regular. What percentage of your income did he provide? If it was just a VIP dance every week, you can afford to let him go. If he was your primary source of income (as some regulars are), this is going to hurt your bottom line for a while. But you'll get new regulars.
Keep him as your friend, and he may become your regular again someday.
Re: Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
Ah such good insight from everyone! The only relationship outside of the club we have is texting strictly friendly things. No cheesy bullshit, but I guess he feels something. Oh well! Now that y'all have pointed it out, he does seem extremely needy. He did ask if I'm working tomorrow, which I am, and I will take the opportunity to keep him as a customer and tell him he was out of line a tad. He is probably one of three of my primary income sources so losing him would hurt finacially for sure. I am positive he understands he acted like a child even though he knows SC etiquette very well. I'll have to let y'all know how my next shift with him there goes!
Re: Best guy friend is/was my best regular *long*
I have a very good friend who I've know since forever. He comes up to the club every few months and drops a significant amount of cash on me. He usually comes with several friends who also spend on other dancers. If I'm busy and he sees a girl he likes he gets dances from her. HOWEVER we both know when he comes up he comes to see and appreciate my alter ego, not me. He also knows me well enough to appreciate that while my alter is awesome I could never really be her and that's half the fun.
Anybody who comes to see genuine you in the club is just asking toast you up for heartbreak, because you need to isolate you from the club