-
Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
sorry but I need to vent to ppl who understand. My friends don't because they have husbands, support, etc..and they are not in 'show business'..where I am alone, afraid and the clock is ticking
i went to school, got a degree, did everything right, but the economy sucks and dancing is the best way I can get by and save so I want to do it as long as I can.
but getting older is really scaring me. I mean, I do all i can to stay in shape, etc. I work out ALL the time, i eat right. I am actually in better shape than i was when i was younger...back then I was young but too thick for a lot of men..now I'm is great shape but i feel self conscious about my age. I don't understand why guys think it is not rude to ask a stripper's age...I mean..REALLY guys? If i look to old for u just say no thanks!
Seriously, why do y'all do that, custies? Why? Why? It is so upsetting and I actually wanna cry right now writing this. In fact I am tearing up right now. I feel like no matter what I do it's never good enough and I'm sick and tired of feeling this way. Believe me, I'd love to retire but I can't. So can u men just be nicer about it? For fuck sake
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
I am really curious, how old are you?
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
I don't consider that to be too old, they are probably just making small talk.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
There are customers that prefer a more mature woman. Don't get discouraged or be self conscious about it as your lack of confidence will show. Realize that some customers prefer young....some prefer old. Just like some prefer natural breasts , others don't..and some prefer blondes ...or some prefer black vs white . Answer one of two ways:
1) Old enough to know it's not polite to ask a lady her age (if you know they are a lost cause)
2) Old enough to know what it takes to make you happy in VIP.
Friends I go to the club with..one likes the dancers to be under 21....one likes his dancers to be over 30. All personal preference. Maybe the older customers prefer the older ladies? Try to build a regular client base.
Stay in shape as you say you are and remain positive...don't get down on yourself. Sometimes asshole customers just use the club to be rude and treat a lady improperly thinking they are being funny. Don't let em get to ya.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Thanks you guys. It really helps. I was just feeling down but I feel a lot better now.
Great age answers, btw :)
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
IMO, asking dancer age is not something I'd do out of the starting blocks, nor would it be a deal breaker/maker for me. As other posters have pointed out, the age question is more a small talk thing. Though, instead of flat out asking age, I might ask something like "what was your favorite movie in high school", "where were you on 911", etc. Fyi, a lot of my faves have been north of 30. HTH.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Well, it is obvious you guys are gentlemen and respectful. And I really appreciate that. Most guys who ask the question I'm sure just mean it for small talk...and some can get a little bit nasty...but there was one guy who really gave it to me.
I usually lie but I made the mistake of telling this guy my real age, to which he replied, 'oh, so you are almost done with this then..'
Then throughout the entire conversation, he kept pointing out my age. when the cocktale waitess cam, he told her, (right in front of me), that she was the loveliest girl there. Then when she left he said to me, 'she's probably ten years younger than you. ha ha ha!'
But it gets better..
He then asked my why I don't like to wear pasties, (they fall off. My tits are still natural and pretty good), but he asked, 'do you not wear them because your tits are saggy?' and my tits are not saggy yet, lol. Plus I had on a bra so he could not tell if they were or not)
Now keep in mind this asshole was overweight and in his late 50's, (I think he was very insecure and taking it out on me), yet he kept pointing out girls and saying they were too 'soft'. LOL. I have no problem with overweight older guys because if a guy is kind and generous then he is gold to me and I will treat him as such. But this jerk had no business calling anyone fat or calling me old for being 32.
Now most little annoying things don't get to me enough to make me talk about them but this guy really got under my skin. I guess it sorta sparked these feelings more than anything.
Again, thanks guys!
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Well, it is obvious you guys are gentlemen and respectful. And I really appreciate that. Most guys who ask the question I'm sure just mean it for small talk...and some can get a little bit nasty...but there was one guy who really gave it to me.
I usually lie but I made the mistake of telling this guy my real age, to which he replied, 'oh, so you are almost done with this then..' When I said no he said, 'oh, you think so?'
Then throughout the entire conversation, he kept pointing out my age. when the cocktail waitress cam, he told her, (right in front of me), that she was the loveliest girl there. Then when she left he said to me, 'she's probably ten years younger than you. ha ha ha!'
But it gets better..
He then asked my why I don't like to wear pasties, (they fall off. My tits are still natural and pretty good), but he asked, 'do you not wear them because your tits are saggy?' and my tits are not saggy yet, lol. (Plus I had on a bra so he could not tell if they were or not)
Now keep in mind this asshole was overweight and in his late 50's, (I think he was very insecure and taking it out on me), yet he kept pointing out girls and saying they were too 'soft'. LOL. I have no problem with overweight older guys because if a guy is kind and generous then he is gold to me and I will treat him as such, no matter what they look like. But this jerk had no business calling anyone fat or calling me old for being 32.
Now most little annoying things don't get to me enough to make me talk about them but this guy really got under my skin. I guess it sorta sparked these feelings more than anything.
Again, thanks guys!
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
^It sounds like you just came across an asshole-who would have treated any dancer that spoke to him that night (regardless of their age, look etc) the same way. Unfortunately some ppl in this world like to make themselves feel better by putting others down. I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with you and I'm sorry that he made you upset. I know it's hard, but try not to let them "win" by letting them get to you.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
The sympathizer: I agree that this business is very body conscious and it can wear on a dancer who is feeling older, even if she is in fantastic shape. However you shouldn't allow it. You know what you know about you and you knw you are fabulous, so don't let the f*ckers get you down.
The person who wants you to succeed: You are in a sales oriented business. Your product is yourself. You compete with other independent contractors on the same floor for the fixed amount of revenue available at any given moment within the club you are all working in.
The sexiest, most important, first tool in your arsenal is your self confidence. If you focus it correctly you will hustle and earn with the best in the club that day. If you don't have it they will smell that on you like a wounded animal.
You've primed, primped and brought your "A" game with you. Know...I mean KNOW that's sufficient to do what needs doing to sell at maximum proficiency. Don't let doubt sneak in... It's a profit killer.
I wish you all the best.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
that man is just a pig! TRUST ME, men like that will pick apart ANY girl no matter what! i had a man tell me i look like lady gaga because of my nose tonight, i drove home crying, and im still upset right now. im self-conscious about my nose as it is. they see how beautiful we are, how much we make, they realize they could NEVER even get us to look at them in real life and so they have insult us as an "equalizer", and to make us feel self-conscious and unnattractive. ive had men call me a boy, and a 12 year old because of my small boobs too.
its not cuz of your age, he is just a huge SHIT STAIN CUNT RAG, pardon my french :)
also, i have men ask me my age as well, and i look 20. they just all seem to want to know for some reason
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Raider
There are customers that prefer a more mature woman. Don't get discouraged or be self conscious about it as your lack of confidence will show. Realize that some customers prefer young....some prefer old. Just like some prefer natural breasts , others don't..and some prefer blondes ...or some prefer black vs white . Answer one of two ways:
1) Old enough to know it's not polite to ask a lady her age (if you know they are a lost cause)
2) Old enough to know what it takes to make you happy in VIP.
Friends I go to the club with..one likes the dancers to be under 21....one likes his dancers to be over 30. All personal preference. Maybe the older customers prefer the older ladies? Try to build a regular client base.
Stay in shape as you say you are and remain positive...don't get down on yourself. Sometimes asshole customers just use the club to be rude and treat a lady improperly thinking they are being funny. Don't let em get to ya.
I also use old enough to know better and too young too care, but mostly I just tell them (usually to the chorus of "bullshit" you're lying, you look 21-{I dont}.)
I'ts only going to be an issue if you believe it's an issue and let it affect you, there is ore than enough anecdotal evidence on SW to suggest that age is irrelevant compared to assets such as brains (number one on list), personality, communication skills, looks, maintainance etc.
Are you talking yourself out of motivation?
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
and if all else fails just 'consider the source' (in this case a random stranger who has to pay strangers money to keep him company).
On another note, if said stranger was
1}paying you for your time then who gives a shit what he thinks, and give back as good as you get "call him a granny lover for picking you to spend time with (make OTT and facetious jokes about it). If his company drains you then leave
2} and if he wasn't paying you for your time then why did stay with him for continued insults? no excuses 'The club was empty, no one else etc---- If you're not getting money you leave, especially if you are uncomfortable with a customer.
Repeat to self: What other people think of me is none of my business.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
geez, never ask a woman her age or her weight
It might come up in conversation, but only if followed by 'wow, you look great' or if she is obviously quite young.
I do find many of the over 30 dancers work much harder at looking good, some of the younger ones could take some lessons
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
It is sooooo important in this business to stay strong and positive. In order to do this you must clear out all negative, judgmental people from your life, and enact a zero tolerance policy for people who want to harm or belittle you in any way. This is a hard business and its not getting easier, so you must do this for your mental health.
At the moment when anyone is insulting you in any way is when you get up and leave. Eventually they will alienate everyone in the club and just sit there looking pathetic. Don't give them more than one opportunity to show you their ass. (This goes for friendships too.)
I understand where you are coming from. I am 35 years old and stripping. Course I look younger because I work hard at it. It tickles me when they ask my age and I can get away with lying. I had a guy tell me last night "you look great for 28. You have no wrinkles." I told one regular at the bar who never spends money my real age and he teased me about it but not from a hateful place. I'm confident enough to take a little self depreciating humor. As others have said, if you look good age doesn't matter.
Good for you that you have educated yourself. I have two degrees and strip by choice. I'm at a point now where I'm wanting to get out of the business and get a job with benefits so I'm working on reinstating my nursing license. I don't have a husband to support me either, so it would be nice to have a more secure job. Don't stop looking if that is what you want. Eventually, if you use your networking skills, you will get something. The inevitable pay cut will suck, but you can have a day job and moonlight as a dancer too. Bottom line is this career is a dead end for all of us eventually, so always keep your future in mind in your decision making. And if your choice is to dance as long as you can, you need to protect yourself from bad people so you can last as long as you want to.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Ohh I hate when guys ask. It's something I've always hated. Generally any guy either on cam or in person that asks is doing so usually to find out how much bullshit he can run on you before you realize it's welll bullshit. I just respond with a way out age like 112 !! Just getting my dentures ready blah blah. It makes them laugh and they move along. Or I'll joke and say "you're too young for me sonny" in a very grandma way. Usually the person has me by about 25-30 years anyways so it's makes for quite a laugh.People assume I'm much older than I am because of how my mind works. Other than that I tend to enjoy the ridiculous lines they throw my way because of how old they assume I am "mentally".
Now I don't dance in person but if he had made such a disgusting comment as why you're not wearing pasties and umm saggy breasts, I would have turned that on him and asked
" why don't you wear pasties?, you're the one with the saggy breats:= OWNED!
Then skip off and go "ohh look someone more interesting to talk to "... Walk off...
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Climber
Now keep in mind this asshole was overweight and in his late 50's, (I think he was very insecure and taking it out on me), yet he kept pointing out girls and saying they were too 'soft'. LOL.
Bingo!
Two of the hottest dancers I have ever had the pleasure of knowing were both in their late 30s. I have also worked with women in their 40s who looked great--though this is more rare. I even know one dancer who is about 55 and she still looks very good!
I get increasingly annoyed with women who ask how old I am as well. There is the Rule that must never broken: 'A gentleman never asks a woman's age.' But younger women in particular will often get really aggressive about it. I could see if I were hitting on them, but I'm not and they are still demanding to know. What the fuck difference does it make?
There are three ways of measuring age: 1) Temporal--measured in actual years. 2) Biological--what kind of shape is the person in, body wise and facially? 3) Mental--hardest to determine unless you know them fairly well.
The latter two are the only criteria that really matter as far as I am concerned, but I have found that most people (being devoid of real perception or imagination) place far more emphasis on the Temporal age than anything else, and will dramatically change the way they interact with you if the number is a lot different than they expected--which I find extremely irritating. So I won't say.
I have found that the best way to deal with it is to say 'Guess.' And whatever they say, reply 'Good guess!'
:D
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Guys ask all kinds of stupid questions. I'm in my mid-40's and make the "guess how old the stripper is" game a big mystery. The funny thing is that it is usually guys my age or older who are playing that game. When they ask me, I brush the question off with something like "Old enough to vote" or something. Then when they guess, they always guess low (probably on purpose), and I respond with "You're close, but not quite on target."
As far as I know, no one at my club knows my actual age. The manager never even asked to see my ID when I auditioned. And there are definitely girls working there who are in my peer group. Botox is a wonderful, wonderful thing!
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Wow! Reading thes responses has really helped and given me some great tips on this whole 'thirties' thing, lol! I ,ean, I really don't think that is old but the fact that I am on my thirties did not really hot me till 32 lol!! And I was like, 'oh wow..I'm 'Sex and the City', 'lorelai Gilmore', etc, etc, (not that THEY are old. And hey, Sam from the original Bewitched was in her thirties and so was Betty Page in her fetish modeling career.. and god they were sexy)
I can't begin to thank all you ladies out there for your support and understanding, as well as funny come-backs, lol! I agree that it is important to stay strong and confident.
And guys, you all should seriously give a seminar to other customers! We need more like you! Thanks for the kind words and advice.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
Wow! Reading these responses has really helped and given me some great tips on this whole 'thirties' thing, lol! I mean, I really don't think that is old at all but the fact that I am in my thirties did not really hit me till 32, lol!! And I was like, 'oh wow..I'm 'Sex and the City', 'lorelai Gilmore', etc, etc, (not that THEY are old. And hey, Sam from the original Bewitched was in her thirties and so was Betty Page in her fetish modeling career.. oh and I think Barbara Eden in I dream of Jeannie...and god they were sexy)
I can't begin to thank all you ladies out there for your support and understanding, as well as funny come-backs, lol! I agree that it is important to stay strong and confident.
And guys, you all should seriously give a seminar to other customers! We need more like you! Thanks for the kind words and advice.
-
Re: Custies...please...girls..u may understand where i am coming from
I started dancing at 36 and retired around 10 years later. I've never gone for any cosmetic procedures, not even fillers or botox, so I think i definately "looked my age".
I used to do well with the older guys who preferred a lady closer to their age, sometimes I got the young guys who had a mature woman fetish,and yes there was occasions I get a guy buying for a mate "as a joke". Thing was I never, ever relied on my looks because honestly I never thought I was that fantastic in the looks department. I very good with my lapdances and I was great company which led to repeat business.
It's not what you got, it's how you use it that matters.
Oh, and recently my adult daughter said to my husband "Why do men always get a crush on mum?". So even with my grey hair and sagging skin I have the guys falling over to help me. Personality will get you further than looks, even for women.