Re: My life started at 22
I have been in a horrid slump practically since I moved to Tx from Fl a few yrs ago. Don't get me wrong, Tx wasn't all bad but everything abt my work experiences there sucked monkey balls. I have been feeling for a long time like you described, needing to recover sm how that lost time & $$. It is really a depressing feeling.
I have a vanilla job in Va now, thnx to one of my best friends, that is getting me back into my field. The steady paycheck is def nice, after yrs of uncertainty dancing in Tx even tho it is not much. I am thinking abt dancing again one or two nites over wk ends just for the extra income & to keep fit, but right now that is just a thought, nothing I am really working towards.
A friend of mine brought up the concept of 'sunk costs' once when I was talking to him abt this $$/time-hopeless feeling. Sunk costs are basically what you have to write off b/c they are not recoverable. It is kind of a sad thought but I think the thing he meant for me to take away from that idea is that when smtg turns out to not be recoverable, there is no point in wasting even more time&resources dwelling on that irrecoverable loss. Sm times all you can really do is take it as a lesson learnt & look for a more productive direction. It is a hard lesson that I am still needing to work hard to apply to my life, b/c this hopeless feeling really just feeds into/off of my inferiority complex, but it is helpful when I can manage to step back & remember it.
Re: My life started at 22
It is a sunk cost. I'm not going to recover from it, but if I keep dwelling on it then I won't move pass it either, and then make the present now a regret. It just suck that I just drop 800 bucks on summer taxes for a house that I don't even live in or need to be in (not a total loss yet, since I will sell it soon) ... But on the plus side, my life has a direction that it never had before, and I know where I am going, and I have a steady pay check. I lost faith on my family, on everyone, on men, and now I am going to work hard for every dollar I make. I don't know if all my mistakes lead me to the military life, I think it was the realization that stripping isn't working for me nor will it ever work for me.... I was working for a month (after losing weight, after making my skin perfect, after making myself hot enough) and no money, and I was like "f this...." That was that. The clients weren't tipping me enough, and I felt like a fool... none of the good clubs hire me, and I was just sick of all my dreaming. I gave up on my dreams that day. The dreams literally died, and even my passion for the industry, for celebrities. I guess I grew up too, since the shit Paris or Lindsay do don't matter to me anymore.
I don't think I am going to dance, although not for the reasons I listed, but just because it would be bad for my career. And I want that pension. I want to go back to college, I want to be an officer, and I want to retire at 48-50, and then never worry about money ever again. (I want a second career after that too).
I could pass as 19, so that's helps me ease the thought of time/age. I could pass as 17-18, but that's pushing it at my current weight.... I could pass as 17 if it weren't for the weight. So it's like I tell myself, "well just pretend you're 19 again". I always subtract a year from my current age when people ask.
Re: My life started at 22
I went through a tough time a few years ago and lost way more than 7K as a result. So I can relate to your loss. Just be glad it wasnt more.
It took me some time to realize I need to get back up from these setbacks and see it like Aniela says as what can be learned from it or how can you turn a loss or setback into something positive?
Re: My life started at 22
in the grand scheme of things, $7k is a mere 'drop in the bucket'. Like any other 'bad' investment, put it behind you and move forward ( which it sounds like you're already doing ).
Re: My life started at 22
If you want to lead an exceptional and interesting life, risk and loss are things you need to get very comfortable with. Loss of wealth is the risk of any investment that could ever feasibly have a big pay-off. Loss of time is the risk of dedicating yourself to any major project. Loss of love is the risk of committing to any relationship that matters to you.
For the most part, you can minimize these risks. You can get a stable job that pays the bills and doesn't do much else. You can forego opportunities that require a big time commitment. You can settle for someone who knows he'll never do better, and just live with his issues. If that sounds like a better way to live, you can have it.
I've wasted so much time, money, and love thusfar in my life that I could easily torture myself with the details for another 50 years. I've also run my own conference (with attendance at 1000+), dated some of the most amazing people I'll ever know, lived in a mansion, rubbed elbows with billionaires, worked on a documentary, become close friends with incredibly altruistic non-profit managers, and spent a long weekend (not escorting!) with a bona fide rock star.
That sort of life experience costs you. I had to drop out of college to live in NYC, where I met most of the exceptional people I've known. It cost me ~$3000 to break up with one of my exes, since he insisted I keep paying rent after I moved out and he refused to find another roommate. Losing my relationship with another guy - the single best person I can think of - cost me my sanity for a full year. Got kicked out of the mansion after a chicken brooder I set up unpredictably caught fire.
After that last one, I had to move back in with my mom for a couple of months. Then I had to couch-surf. At one point, I considered joining a gym just so I'd have a place to shower. I felt like NOTHING.
And now I'm making more money than I've ever made in my life and working on a promising new business with one of my best friends. I EXPECT that I'll hit another low sometime in the future. That's just part of the lifestyle I've chosen. Sometimes I'm in a position where the only things I can worry about are keeping myself housed and fed. Sometimes I'm so far ahead of the game that I feel like I'm living a dream.
You took a risk, and it didn't pan out. What's important is that you had the balls to try. As long as you have a roof over you and enough food to eat, you're doing alright. You're not getting that $7k back, and it hurts. Just don't let it make you too risk-averse.
Re: My life started at 22
I never look at life like that before. That was beautiful. Thank you.
I have the basic necessities, my health, and 1k in savings, 1k in gold, and a house that if I were to sell right now it would bring at bare minimum 7k, and a salary. And my family. Free rent, free food, free medical, free stuff in the military.
That's better than some people, but I don't compare.
Re: My life started at 22
I don't mean this in a patronising way at all, but you are still very young, you have your whole life ahead of you and you are in the process of building a career that will be finically rewarding in the long run. It's hard to lose something you have worked hard for, especially when you work in this industry, but being positive and focusing on the future will help you move on. Don't beat yourself up over it, because unfortunately it's not something you can change now, just think of it as a life lesson.