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Can a guy be too emotional?
So...
wondering everyones opinions on men and their emotions.
I have experienced guys in touch with their emotions and guys who are cold like stone.
My thoughts are have you experienced an extreme version of highly emotional within a boyfriend/husband. How did you handle it? Did it ever get better? Did you like it or did it bug you?
its a massive spot of curiosity to me as I'm at that stage in life where I'm thinking...pah am I being waaaay too picky?
I hate stone cold men who just don't get 'it' but at the same time...I think too far the opposite direction would make me wanna puke.
be nice to hear of any of your experiences!
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
YES.
I dated a guy that cried all the time and it made me want to blow my damn brains out.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
omg....tsepmet1 lol @ YES. I dated a guy that cried all the time and it made me want to blow my damn brains out.
Yeah some can be too emotional. And it becomes annoying. I dated a guy who was too jealous and would fake cry and do all sorts of 'bitch' a$$-ness kinds of things that they typical over-emotional woman would do. I generally think of men as the emotionally strong gender.
There comes a time for balance. To me, men are more attractive when they can balance emotions well (in touch with 'femine' side when necessary only) - not overly emotional but not stone cold either.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
True!
This current experience I'm having is with a guy who over thinks everything. And drones on about it. Life this life that. Omg you know I'm so sad I haven't seen my family so long since moving here and then goes quiet and mulls over it. Which I don't begrudge as I miss my family hugely too. But it's weird to explain...I feel like his emotion is for show. His exaggerated deep breaths, checking to see if I'm looking, hanging his head, being so over the too. Crying at certain random things.
Like I'm not a bitch. I get it. You miss your family at Christmas. But you go too far. I'm the kind of person that uses things as a motivation. For example - omg I miss my family. Ok so what I'm gonna do is make sure this doesn't happen again. Ima send them all some amazing gifts and talk to them over the holiday period let them know I miss them.
The biggest cringing moment is when he over softens his voice to the point where he forcefully makes it sound like it's gonna break..but I just know deep down he's doing it on purpose so I think oooooh what a beautifully emotional man. He's 5 years younger than me...but quite frankly when he does these things I look like a bitch by repeating erm...I can't hear you speak the hell up.
I figured I'm being a bitch. I hate insensitive men by lord this over emotional stuff makes me wanna puke pretty bad.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
^omg that sounds so annoying and manipulative
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Ive dated both and the over emotional guy who calls you 100 times and texts long ass messages like a bitch is the worst
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
And we aren't saying that "nice guys finish last", or that we prefer total assholes. We prefer balance. I want my man to be a man when he needs to be, or be sensitive to my needs (or his own) when the situation calls for it.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
From my experience, women cannot stand guys showing emotions at ALL.
Doesn't matter if they say they really do like it when a guy opens up & shows he is vulnerable. They might ACT like they like it, but they don't if it is a guy they are considering sleeping with. None of them, not one.
Or guys telling them they look really good, being thoughtful, or WORST of all...
...'sweet'
The DEATH word if you are ever interested in a girl.
:rotfl:
I still do it sometimes though, especially at work. If a girl is having a rough night & needs a pep talk, or maybe fucking around in the dressing room worried about makeup hair etc. & I need her onstage, I will tell her she looks good--but ONLY if she actually looks good. I will not bullshit them because they sense it & you will then fail to convince them.
I just read on Facebook a friend of mine in Nola was very upset on Christmas & crying, broke with a 2 year old boy, & so I sent her a present. She said it was very sweet, so I can now write her off forever. But fuck it, I'm still glad I did it. Life isn't just about racking up more notches on your bedpost.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Actually, I take that back. The ONE emotional thing they do like from a guy is humor. It's not exactly an emotion, but if you express emotion in such a way that it makes them laugh with you, as opposed to at your plight, you win.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Djoser - I need to come see you at your club! Lol you make some incredibly valid points. And I'd rather be shifted out the DR nicely than by being screamed at!
I think everyone has it a bit right here. Balance is the key.
I feel like my head is being fucked with when one minute me going up the street to CVS for a browse of the beauty section is apparently something I have to do accompanied because he cannot leave my side for one second as he misses me so much.
Followed by going to work and not receiving a single text message even - 'have a good one tonight babe hope you bank'
Where's the balance in that? Extremes... Yes. Balance, it is not.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
This is not fair. Men are brought up in this society to be emotionally repressed. Young boys are taught to "not cry. Be a man!" I think this is VERY dangerous in a society. Boys should be encouraged to show their emotions, otherwise, they bottle everything up until they explode or go crazy....or suddenly become "overemotional" to the point that it nauseates women (I don't really understand this.)
I can understand it if a guy is trying to manipulate with fake emotions...but in my experience, this rarely happens with men. Perhaps you women are reading men's emotions completely wrong? Perhaps it's better to have a little empathy and try to understand the poor guy before you make your snap judgements...
...I suppose I am not like most women. When I see a man cry or is upset, my heart feels like it's going to break. But I am also a very emotional, empathetic being.....
I think women need to get back to their true emotional, nurturing selves. Women are becoming numb, desensitized. This is scary. A society filled with emotionally- repressed men and numb women. :(
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Also, I think it's sick that some girls are putting standards on how often a guy can have emotions or how he should express those emotions. If a guy wants to cry because he's feeling incredibly sad, then dammit- let him cry! Hold him and let him know that you care. He should have that right without worrying whether or not he is nauseating you! My god!
Sorry, I felt this had to be said. I don't want to offend, but at the same time, I think someone should stand up for a man's right to emotional expression and validation.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Hmmm. I see where you're coming from a little but...
My point is everything that works has an opposite. Up has down. Left has right. Sad has happy.
Two people in one relationship that are both on the 80/20 side leaning towards emotional is surely too overkill?
I'm not saying I don't want a man to cry. But crying a lot because of small things! No no, not for me. Or many others. Unless he has his period?
And as for the moody pensive thought provoking long distance stares? When a guy is doing this because he wants you to coo at his mysterious ways that is beyond sickening. Anything that is an action looking for a reaction is wrong IMO.
I guess you had that covered under 'manipulative' use of emotions but as far as balancing a relationship, genuine or not, if a man is going to cry more than I do it's just not gonna have the right feel of balance.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ScarletKitten
Also, I think it's sick that some girls are putting standards on how often a guy can have emotions or how he should express those emotions. If a guy wants to cry because he's feeling incredibly sad, then dammit- let him cry! Hold him and let him know that you care. He should have that right without worrying whether or not he is nauseating you! My god!
Sorry, I felt this had to be said. I don't want to offend, but at the same time, I think someone should stand up for a man's right to emotional expression and validation.
Don't get my wrong I am not the kind of bitch that will look at a guy weird for crying about genuine sad things. And also I guess if it's a sensitive subject to act a certain way - ie depression and anxiety then I'm not going to be horrendously offensive.
You have made me re visit my thoughts on this I must say but I cannot help but recoil in horror when I am ignored multiple times, and told to calm down. Followed by tears and over acting because of dear of losing me.
Idk. A lot to think about on this matter.
Any good book/article suggestions on this would be cool!
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Yeah I dated a little bitch. I dumped that pantywaist REAL quick. If I want to date a hormone case, I'll just go back to my ex gf. I like the current male that has my attention right now. He is somewhat abusive and very cute to look at. It's a pretty balanced relationship though. :D
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
Yeah I dated a little bitch. I dumped that pantywaist REAL quick. If I want to date a hormone case, I'll just go back to my ex gf. I like the current male that has my attention right now. He is somewhat abusive and very cute to look at. It's a pretty balanced relationship though. :D
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I dunno, he looks sort of moody to me...
:rotfl:
Jamiekw does the kw stand for Key West?? In which case hell yes you need to come see me at my club!
I have been rethinking this a little more. It all depends on how you define 'emotion'. From my experience, women DO like guys who show enthusiasm and a certain zest for life a hell of a lot more than some guy sitting in the corner frowning all the time (unless maybe he has really good drugs haha). We are always in some kind of emotional state, and the emotions aren't always bad.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
im very empathetic too, but i don't like either sex to be a complete basket case or a self-pitying blob. goes both ways in my opinion.
now this guy doesn't sound "emotional" to me. he sounds manipulative, very manipulative. two very different things.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
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Originally Posted by
LoveHerButton
I think it is only inexperienced guys that say that "women don't like nice guys". The rest of us guys are aware that we are never always 'nice guys'. I am always amazed at how women can still love us even when we are assholes. Once they like you they tend to always like you and I "thank all the gods" for that. (stolen from Djoser)
Nah you didn't steal it from me, untold millions of polytheistic pagans used that line long before I was ever born.
;D
But I have to disagree with the first (quoted) sentence. I am not exactly inexperienced--and the more experience I have had with women, the more I have noticed that the vast majority of them do not want to hear anything at all emotionally negative from a guy, ever. They may not necessarily judge you harshly for it, but they would much rather go talk to the guy with the shit eating grin at the other end of the bar. As a young man I might have argued the point. Now I know better.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Yes, guys can be too emotional. I am married to an Italian man from New York. *lol*
Also, watch the movie Bedazzled if you want to see some examples of overly emotional men. (plus it's just a great movie!) http://www.amazon.com/Bedazzled-Bren.../dp/B00003CXKJ
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jamiekw
So...
wondering everyones opinions on men and their emotions.
I have experienced guys in touch with their emotions and guys who are cold like stone.
My thoughts are have you experienced an extreme version of highly emotional within a boyfriend/husband. How did you handle it? Did it ever get better? Did you like it or did it bug you?
its a massive spot of curiosity to me as I'm at that stage in life where I'm thinking...pah am I being waaaay too picky?
I hate stone cold men who just don't get 'it' but at the same time...I think too far the opposite direction would make me wanna puke.
be nice to hear of any of your experiences!
Hello! You are NOT being too picky, it is important to find a partner that you can stand, even if he isn't the norm.
From personal experience, I have had instances where my ex's get really emotional, crying and shit.... That is just too much for me. That was a huge reason I broke up with one, because he turned into a GIANT FUCKING PUSSY. He cried constantly, without every actually DOING anything to better his circumstances. Don't get me wrong, a guy should be able to express himself, and if he is upset the ocasional cry is ok, but in extreame instances, like a death or something. Like my s.o. now, he will get teary eyed during sad movies, but won't cry about anything unless it is major, like someone is dying.
Personally, I think you should look for a happy medium, someone who you can understand and e can understand when you get upset and where you are coming from. It would very much be worth the wait. Best of luck!
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Emotional is fine. My bf has cried on me and I love him so much. But when a guy is using his tears to manipulate you and sulking like a child, that is not fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Djoser
They may not necessarily judge you harshly for it, but they would much rather go talk to the guy with the shit eating grin at the other end of the bar.
I hate those cocky assholes. If the entire range of your emotions only stretches from bro to brah, then you are a moron, and that's the biggest turn off.
Also, I wouldn't want a guy to get emotional too quickly. I'm pretty guarded and it's always alarming when someone reaches out to me emotionally and I don't know them well enough to fully trust them. Being leaned on by someone takes so much emotional energy and I'm not capable of providing that for them if I don't already love them. I'd never dream of telling them about my problems either. Even if they're just complaining about family or illness or something, it makes me uncomfortable because I feel like they're pushing me into helping them deal with their problems. I have my own problems, so if I'm going to help you through yours you better be someone who's damn special to me. If someone I don't really care about is needy or is constantly trying really hard to be my buddy I need to keep them at arm's length for my own sanity.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Red Velvette
That was a great movie, and it had a hard act to follow; the original one from way back in the 60s which I saw in a film festival years back. Peter Cook made the best devil imaginable, and was by far the real star of the movie (though I confess I am not a fan of Dudley Moore, who played the same role as Fraser in the remake). The old guys with a thing for Racquel Welch will tell you about her scene dancing at a party thrown by Cook.
I have never been the kind of guy to go on about any particular actress. But Elizabeth Hurley is very tempting, as much for her role in that movie as any of them. She made an excellent devil, and did it her own way. I can't believe she stuck with Hugh Grant after he got caught with the prostitute.
Looking back over this thread, I confess I am very jaded. Too many years in a rough business I think.
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
I love Elizabeth Hurley in that movie. "Most men think they're God; this one just happens to be right..."
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
That woman has style, that's for damned sure.
ETA: Deleted some off topic stuff
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Re: Can a guy be too emotional?
I think the extent to which our society equates manliness with a lack of emotion is depressing and ultimately hurtful to a lot of people, men and women, but my god my ex that was more emotional than I am (and thats saying something with my borderline bipolar mood swings) and he was hell to be around. All girls want the exciting bad boy with the heart of gold, but walking that line of showing emotion and coming across as clingy/whiny/whatever is damn near impossible. I really do feel bad for guys. The slightest hint of emotion, even towards a girl will be met with comments about how "gay" he is from his friends, and we expect to churn out guys who are emotionally capable of forming real bonds, connecting with people, maturing and settling down in emotionally healthy relationships? Yeah, no.
I know I'm a total hypocrite, but I do find it hard to get hot for a guy that cries constantly. Probably because my ex used it to manipulate me into forgiving him for cheating, hitting me, forcing me to have sex with him constantly etc. But hell, I'm pretty emotionally stunted and incapable of expressing my emotions too, so I cut my husband slack for being a walled off statue 98% of the time. The acceptable emotional in between for guys is razor thin.