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Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
This post is simply the opinion of this lowly Minnesotacamwhore. I'm not trying to start a war or rile up the most contrarian membersof this board. I had an epiphany recently and I only want to help others. As Oprah would say, I really had to “stand inmy truth” on this topic. I was a little ashamed of myself when it was over butI’m way ahead now. This was one of my “money blocks” that I have since released.
I have seen a very prominent correlation between my cash flow and the frequency/amount I watch other cam models. Allow me to elaborate...
If youfind yourself trying to keep up with the proverbial Jones'/Kardashians by notjust perving their rooms but rather “stalking” by its most pure definition yetyou still aren't happy with what you are/aren't making, you may want tore-evaluate this habit.
DISCLAIMERS:
#1: I get it if you are a "newb" and are trying to get ideas, see howmodels conduct their room etc. ORperhaps you have been out of the game awhile and are trying to find yourbearings as the industry continues to evolve.
#2: I get it if you are horny as hell, take a girl private or tip the hell outof her because you just want to see a beautiful woman oil up her luscious roundass and fuck herself wildly while you ride the lightening that is your Hitachiwand. (Not that I would EVER do that *insert guilty look here*)
#3: I get it if you were asked by another model to analyze and critique her soshe can figure out what might be going on with her inability to earn.
Without those caveats, should you find yourself hanging inanother model's room, you should look inward and ask yourself exactly WHY youare there, how you are feeling and what exactly it is you want to accomplish.
Are you legitimately learning something from watching her hustleor are you upset she has higher placement than you and perhaps driven to rantabout it on this lovely message board? Be honest with yourself here, are youfeeling waves of admiration or pangs of anger because somehow the cam-iverseseems to be out to get you while shining all of its light on the lass you arestaring at?
Are you wondering what kind of lighting she uses or are you curmudgeonlytearing her a new asshole in your mind because she is asking too little Goldfor a 10 hour anal show?
Or worse, are you an 22-25 year old blonde with huge titsscoping out other 22-25 year old blondes with huge tits and wondering if youshould not work because too many of "your demographic" is online? Orworse, are you sitting there in your ivory tower casting down judgment like theGrinch looking down on Whoville thinking, “well her and I might be in the 22-25category with long golden locks and massive orbs fastened to our tanned bodiesbut HER ASS LOOKS LIKE A BAG OF COTTAGE CHEESE. FUCKING BITCH 3 ROWS ABOVE ME.SHE MUST BE BLOWING SOMEONE WHO WORKS AT THE SITE. ERHMEGHRED I’M GONNA GOPASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY BLOW UP THE CAMMING SUCKS RIGHT NOW THREAD ON STRIPPERWEB”
I used to call watching other cam models "research anddevelopment" because I really thought I was helping myself by learningfrom how others operate. Instead I found myself getting irritated some girl hadher beef curtains a'dangling & a'swaying in free chat.
I would feel completely sick when I heard models talking shit about theircompetitors BY NAME which just made me cry for some utopian sisterhood thatwill never happen.
I found myself drowning in snark at girls who had plenty of money to pack theirhuge bongs and photograph them on Twitter but still had "SEND GOLD, RENTIS 5 DAYS LATE WILL BE EVICTED"
And the worst, grappling with my own “self perceived inadequacy” aftercomparing myself to whatever lovely chickadee was online during this selfinduced mindfuck I was giving myself. Often times this would prevent me fromgoing online. “Welp Emma, a girl with bigger firmer tits and a bigger smile ison, clearly no one will come see you in your chat. Might as well use this timenot camming to go find a leper colony to join.”
So I made a pact with myself that I was just going to log in, cam and do ‘MYthang’. It didn’t matter what time it was, how many girls were online total,how many girls in my niche were working or any other pockets one tends to buryexcuses in. As far as I was concerned, I was the only girl working on the site.When you think about it, there are no other YOUS. To go Mr. Rogers on you for amoment, you are your own unique snowflake. No one offers exactly what you haveto offer!!! Sure, you might have a girl with a non-natural hair color, naturaltits and piercings working at the same time as you but is she YOU? No fuckingway! Hell, let’s all quote my drunk neighbor who was fighting with wife aftercoming home at 5am with no phone call, “I AM MY OWN ME. I AM MY VERY OWN ME SOFUUUUUUUUCK YOU!”
And while we are at it, the stalking doesn’t just pertain to camsites: are you obsessively prowling Twitter? What about Facebook? Or even, dareI say, STRIPPERWEB??? I challenge you to do what I did, figure out how muchtime you spend on social media NOT promoting yourself/networking but as myGrandma would say, “frittering” --- take that time and dump it online. Icalculated that my wasted time on my “sinkholes of time” sites comes out to be2.5 hours a week. Last week I made myself work my business for an extra 2.5 hrs– I worked a site I NEVER work on, made some new clips, contacted my Skype guysand promoted my Amazon wishlist, If you count the $50 iTunes giftcard andWonder Woman shorts from Amazon, I walked away $296.71 richer.
If you see any of yourself being reflected back at you, my pointis this: it’s time to start “OPERATION: RAH RAH RAH, GO TEAM ME!”
Turn down the self doubt in your own mind.
Tell yourself “it doesn’t matter who else is working”
STOP ANALYZING THE SITE(S) AND THE MODELS BEFORE YOU GET ON, ITDOESN’T MATTER. It only matters that YOU are on. That is who people want to seeand will pay to see.
It doesn’t matter that you are a “petite Domme who performs SPHand JOI” and there are 14 other “petite Dommes who perform SPH and JOI” onlinewith you.
It doesn’t matter if you aren’t at your goal weight or if somegirl has way cooler hair extensions than you.
It doesn’t matter if someone is putting a Louisville Slugger intheir ass for 2 gold for 11 hours.
Put your blinders on and DOYOU.
You are a precious commodity and have a lot to offer. Don’t youever forget it!!
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
i stopped checking my placement like a year ago and it was one of the best things i ever did for myself.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I get it if watching camgirls has a negative impact on your work, but honestly, it works wonders for me.
I never, ever, EVER have any feelings of negativity or comparison or competition when I watch them. Ever. I feel nothing but motivation and inspiration when I watch them. I learn from them, learn about myself, learn about the ways I want to present myself, and this job in general by watching other girls.
That said, I understand your standpoint on this issue because of the way it impacts you and I am glad it turned things around for the better for you to stop watching them. :)
[ETA] - I also love plugging other girls I'm a huge fan of. For example, I don't squirt, but I know many an awesome squirter! If there's a certain service I can't give, I enjoy promoting their awesomeness!
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I watch/perv because its natural and normal for me. Im often entertained plus Ive gotten to know some of these women. Seeing girls do dumb shit is part of the game which i ignore (still hate when its a fellow CG in my cat).
I love looking at the sexy outfits also too add to my list of must haves :)
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Well it's not stalking, but it is watching if you don't tip or chat with the performer.
I always and always will check out how many performers are on before I sign on, this leave me an open window as to less performers = more money for me.
I always will peek into certain rooms and see what a performer is doing, if she is doing something cool and making good money, I may want to try it in the future.
I always will check for performers using sex machines, because I want to see what is new and how it works for her making money.
Also, I love looking at beautiful women, period. I never hassle anyone or report! Many of us are guilty of peeping in on rooms before we sign on, or cruising to see who's new etc.
PS biggest reason I check out rooms is because I need to see how crazy certain performers are on cam, I don't compete with that, I can't, so I work another site then. And if the site is being glitchy or not.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
There is so much bitching about what other girls do on this board, I thought maybe I'd lead the bandwagon in not giving a fuck. Kudos to those of you who are "above it all"
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Thank you Karma!! I watch a few ladies that are so positive, such great performers that they make me smile and wish I was more like they are. They taught me a lot by doing what they do, and that made me a better performer because I learned to be me. When I first started camming, I learned so much about nuance, rules, how to watch my back, etc. by watching all different kinds of chat rooms. I tip when appropriate.
That said, I agree with you 100% on your op. Some chat rooms blow my mind. It's one thing to air grievances on a loop, but another thing to say a performer's real name, discuss members of their family, or break site rules to sabotage someone else. No wonder some of us want to stay anonymous here in CC and elsewhere in our lives.
I'm not saying this as a point either way, but I decided some time ago that it's better to mind my own business until I have reason not to.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I haven't peeped in on any other models, I had thought about this at first because this has been a learning curve but I didn't due to some of the animosity I've seen. (Not on SW, but on cam sites). I banned models from entering my room after my first night on MFC. I had not been on but an hour, first time camming ever, when a model came in and told me I was doing it all wrong and then proceeded to tell me that my wallpaper was ugly, that shade of lipstick was not working for me, etc. She just basically threw insult after insult my way for all in my chat room to see. Now, I know some may think toughen up, constructive criticism but I feel as though if she were actually trying to help me and not be a troll, these things would have been said via pm. Not that I think she was at all trying to be helpful as the comments got worse lol. Which I know a lot of models are not trolling when they go into other rooms, I just do not feel comfortable doing so after banning all models from mine. I have to say this was very insightful though. I am guilty of too much social media without promoting, I live here on SW :0
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I tend to watch other performers more out of curiosity than anything else. I have a few girls that I like to drop in on because they are super feisty and if they get a douchebag customer I love watching how they deal with them. I sit behind my laptop shouting 'You go girl'! It never makes me jealous though, if anything it gets me motivated and excited to get on cam!
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I'm really glad you posted this - I've been thinking similar things about myself lately in regards to staying positive. I am terrible about always comparing myself to others and having bouts of low self-esteem.
The truth is, when I don't want to cam I am ALWAYS able to come up with an excuse. When I look at other models and see them doing poorly I say "traffic's bad, no point in signing on" and when I see other models doing well I think "I'll never be able to compete with her, all the traffic is in her room". It all has to do with my own mindset, and that's something I really want to change.
I'm going to try not to look in other models' rooms AND not check my placement this week and see how it goes!
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KarmaComa
There is so much bitching about what other girls do on this board, I thought maybe I'd lead the bandwagon in not giving a fuck. Kudos to those of you who are "above it all"
most of us that don't do this don't say anything bc we simply do not do it
so many of us dont care about other models ,we only care about ourselves
I am glad this realization hit a model even if it just one
go into rooms for very few reasons ... mainly to ask if they might be experiencing issues, tip, the nice things we do to help eachother
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Basically, don't focus on things that you can't change and that make you upset. This can be applied to so many things.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
100% agree that you shouldn't care if people in your niche or whatever are on and just cam and be you.
As to watching other models, I tend to watch just to keep a good grip in my market. Business styles =D I look at what seems to work for everyone else overall on a site if, say I'm struggling one week for no reason apparent to me. I also find it inspiring and motivating if I'm having a day where I feel lazy/hideous and don't WANT to. Healthy comptition is GOOD.
But I do agree obsessing over that shit is...no good! Being bitter and bitchy that so and so makes so much money doing something or other is useless. We have ALL thought it at least [ I have!] but bitching and whining about it does nothing but make you look bad [and ero less successful]
AS FOR THE SISTERHOOD:
The funnest aspect of chaturbate for me is that I can tip my tokens with ease! So I get to tip models I like/want to help out. Which I have noticed has the effect of creating a mini community! I have a lil gaggle of camgirl pals there! They promo my tweets [and I theirs] and tip bomb my room and mod for me, on and on..and it's great!
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Seeing other cam models was a good thing for me, I was looking through their bios and I was like "oh yeah! That's why I don't make that much, I'm not willing to do ANY of that stuff! Ok, I'm cool now". I have zero interest in giving a big show in free chat, and when it comes to DP, I "just say no"
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Camming it's an individual work, not team work so everybody does what it's working for them, it's like a jungle, it's all about competition, some will admit this, some not. cam models will always watch other cam models for various reasons, they will admire their favorites & pick ideas from them in a constructive manner or just hate & bash other models, steal ideas, criticize & blame, that's cam world, always been & will always be, same like in any other work field.
Also here in this forum, some will preach things while they do them totally different in their rooms, some like to show off but u read or find out they are a mess actually, some will post things just to confuse others or make others do things that will harm their revenues.
There is a lot of hypocrisy in cam world. I understood lately that things are not always what they seem to be and i feel i gave too much credit to some people.
On the other hand what people do in their rooms it defines site culture & trend so is important to know how things work around u but to avoid obsessing over it. When u work nobody will think of you but themselves so best is to think of urself too instead of thinking about others. I say YOU in general, not addressing to anyone specifically.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I'm fairly new to camming and even more new to streamate so I tend to go watch girls who are doing GOLD shows so I can see what they do. I do have a hard time not comparing myself to them... like it pisses me off when I see a super skinny girl as number one in the BBW category... like I'm usually between number 1 and number 4 in the bbw category so when someone who is clearly not a BBW takes my number one spot I get a little pissy but that's something I can't control so you're right I shouldnt' focus on that. Instead I should focus on my earnings.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I tend to obsess over other girls and how they are doing. If I get on and it seems like everyone is having a bad day then I don't want to get on. If they are doing well and I'm not on then I stress that I'm missing out on money lol. It's a losing battle, so I've learned to stay away from watching other models. I do best when I just log on when I'm ready and get to work with a fresh, positive attitude!
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I have a couple of ladies I like to pop into their room and just see how their day is going. Then there's the new ladies I haven't seen before- just check them out. Then there's the 1 or 2 highly entertaining ladies that you never know what's going to come out of their mouth. But after all that I just go by me. I can't compete with alot of the stuff some can do. That's ok by me b/c doing that stuff will wreck my day- I'm just not comfortable with it. But basically I know when I log in within an hour if I should bother to stay on or call it a day. Sometimes I know in half an hour and then delude myself into " just trying to ride it out".
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Incantatious
I never, ever, EVER have any feelings of negativity or comparison or competition when I watch them. Ever. I feel nothing but motivation and inspiration when I watch them.
Agreed.
I watch other models all the time. I don't actually go into their room though....I just watch without logging in. Even though I watch other models I don't talk shit about them or rant about them. Sure I may see something that I don't like but I keep it to myself. I honestly don't care that much about what other models do to rant about it. Plus I don't see a point in bitching about or getting upset over what other models do in their room. The site is obviously fine with what they're doing so why the heck would I waste my emotions on something the site allows.
I don't compare myself to other models or feel that they're competition. I more so watch other camgirls out of curiosity. I find it interesting to see how others hustle. Sometimes I learn things but most times I just watch because its entertaining. I'm still kind of amazed at and by this job sometimes. I remember when I first started I didn't think there was anyone else like me. I didn't know any other camgirls, I didn't watch other models because I wasn't aware of the live side of SM, I didn't know about SW, there was no twitter, etc. So to see a whole bunch of girls doing the same thing as me is comforting and inspiring.
I'm pretty much a "fan" of this whole adult industry. I not only watch camgirls but I perv urban models/video vixens, glamour models, and online dommes. I like to see how others live and work in this industry. Its inspiring to me to see what others have accomplished with the jobs/career we have. Watching other girls (via live stream, twitter, checking out their sites/blog, etc) has allowed me to see, know, and believe that anything is possible.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I just want to disagree with the no competition thing and this are my reasons:
Everyone (especially in your category) is competition but I believe its how you view it. Seeing another ebony making a killing does make me happy and I have tipped if Ive seen a girl not make goal because I want us all to make $$$$$$. Competition is in this business and Ive witnessed tons of it. While perving Ive seen the actions of those being competitive like 'discreetly' fucking themselves to get tips or flashing pussy.
just my 2 pennies but Im not saying it to compare yourself to that girl but its still competition no matter how you view it
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Blovely
Agreed.
I watch other models all the time. I don't actually go into their room though....I just watch without logging in. Even though I watch other models I don't talk shit about them or rant about them. Sure I may see something that I don't like but I keep it to myself. I honestly don't care that much about what other models do to rant about it. Plus I don't see a point in bitching about or getting upset over what other models do in their room. The site is obviously fine with what they're doing so why the heck would I waste my emotions on something the site allows.
I don't compare myself to other models or feel that they're competition. I more so watch other camgirls out of curiosity. I find it interesting to see how others hustle. Sometimes I learn things but most times I just watch because its entertaining. I'm still kind of amazed at and by this job sometimes. I remember when I first started I didn't think there was anyone else like me. I didn't know any other camgirls, I didn't watch other models because I wasn't aware of the live side of SM, I didn't know about SW, there was no twitter, etc. So to see a whole bunch of girls doing the same thing as me is comforting and inspiring.
I'm pretty much a "fan" of this whole adult industry. I not only watch camgirls but I perv urban models/video vixens, glamour models, and online dommes. I like to see how others live and work in this industry. Its inspiring to me to see what others have accomplished with the jobs/career we have. Watching other girls (via live stream, twitter, checking out their sites/blog, etc) has allowed me to see, know, and believe that anything is possible.
Completely agreed with everything you said!
Man, part of the reason I would want to go to the AVNs would be to get autographs from other camgirls (yup, I'm a fan of them that much! XD) I also wanted to have a little collection of bio pics on my wall of the camgirls I admire the most for motivation and inspiration. Every time I look at them I will be inspired, kinda like when people put up posters of celebrities. There is just nothing more motivating to me and my work ethic than seeing a camgirl do this job so insanely well and put her own unique spin on this business.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AliceFun
Also here in this forum, some will preach things while they do them totally different in their rooms, some like to show off but u read or find out they are a mess actually
This could so easily be said about me! XD
I know you weren't aiming that comment at anyone, but for real, someone could easily read a post of mine here and maybe even get the impression that the advice I'm giving means I must be doing really well! That's definitely not always the case. I "preach" the importance of showmanship and being a good entertainer (rather than just relying on looks, for example), but you could then drop by my room and see me not doing much. That's my energy level failing me. I've not yet reached the standard I see as being important in a successful camgirl. However, I've most certainly done well enough for myself in my career as a whole to know I can reach that if I put the work in and keep the momentum of positivity.
I've been struggling a lot lately with motivation and on-cam energy, but it never stops me trying my best to promote a positive attitude here. I do it for myself as much as anyone else.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
^^^ Lol, this was never directed to you Incantatious, i had nobody specific in mind when i wrote that, i meant in general from the things i read and see on sites for long time. I never saw u on cam, i assume u have geoblock on and i dont and cant have a member account so again, it's not the case. All the best xxx
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AliceFun
^^^ Lol, this was never directed to you Incantatious, i had nobody specific in mind when i wrote that, i meant in general from the things i read and see on sites for long time. I never saw u on cam, i assume u have geoblock on and i dont and cant have a member account so again, it's not the case. All the best xxx
Hehe no worries! ^_^ I only have geoblock on my hometown and don't mind who else sees me from other places! :) Especially don't mind the lovely ladies here! <3 xxx
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
For Lent, I am going to give up checking my placement and hopefully have less anxiety for 40 days.
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Re: Unsolicited Advice: STOP STALKING OTHER MODELS and BANK!
I rarely check out other models but when I do, it's for educational purposes. I like to see what the top models are up to in their rooms, how they're interacting with customers, their camera angles, etc. There is a small handful of camgirls that I really look up to (they all post on this forum, lol) so if I see them online I might sneak a peek. Sometimes it gives me an idea, or puts things in perspective a bit, if I'm feeling dry/stale with my own cam hustle. I don't have hard feelings towards any of them! We're all in this together.