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ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
On my first week of dancing a black customer told me that black guys don't like girls with no booty. I still subconsciously hear his words in my head when I'm considering approaching a black customer lets not even talk about groups of black men. It really sucks because these men tend to tip well onstage and get a consistent number of dances. I use to work in a club with practically no black clientele but my current club has a steady amount, lots of diversity. What's silly is that I.do have a relatively big butt. I workout, have absolutely no cellulite on my butt or thighs. My body is pretty toned from everywhere. I get compliments on my butt all the time itc and otc, like the gym. I'm a petite latina with nc40 skin tone 34c natural size 2 pantsI need my confidence back to approach all customers. I'm petrified they will say another mean comment and embarrass me. It seems I attract Asians, whites, latinos and a few Indians sprinkled in there. I hope this dsnt sound racist = )
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
people are going to say mean things, and im super sensitive so i know how hard it is to deal with it..never forget when one customer said to his buddy " is that a woman or a 12 year old" because i had small boobs..that comment stuck with me a lot, but you really do have to get to a point where things just roll off you and just laugh at the idiots! because plenty of guys are going to love our body type but you are not going to be EVERYBODY'S cup of tea, it just isn't possible. insecure, petty men are the ones who make those comments, and it reflects badly on them not you.
i can't speak for everybody, but i know that i have a certain demographic that i appeal to, and i know my clientele..i think a lot of other girls do too. nothing wrong with that..so i guess im in the same boat as you are with that, i simply don't appeal to most black men so i dont generally waste my time
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
I'm also a petite latina (half!), NC25! In my experience some black men will be interested and others won't. As bad as it 'sounds' the reality is some of them will find you attractive and some of them will ignore you or be rude. It could be because your race is different, or they could just be effing rude - I'm not sure and I don't think it really matters. It never hurts to go talk to everyone, especially if it's dead but usually I only approach the ones that have tipped me or are staring in a good way.
To help your fear, black culture involves strippers often and the ones that do like me are usually extremely generous. Though it's not often, when one of them does want my time I can usually count on them spending a lot. I have usually received large tips without the feeling I am pulling teeth like with most middle class white dudes. It's a welcome relief when they do want to talk to me. :)
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
people are going to say mean things, and im super sensitive so i know how hard it is to deal with it..never forget when one customer said to his buddy " is that a woman or a 12 year old" because i had small boobs..that comment stuck with me a lot, but you really do have to get to a point where things just roll off you and just laugh at the idiots! because plenty of guys are going to love our body type but you are not going to be EVERYBODY'S cup of tea, it just isn't possible. insecure, petty men are the ones who make those comments, and it reflects badly on them not you.
i can't speak for everybody, but i know that i have a certain demographic that i appeal to, and i know my clientele..i think a lot of other girls do too. nothing wrong with that..so i guess im in the same boat as you are with that, i simply don't appeal to most black men so i dont generally waste my time
That's how I feel about it. Ive convinced.myself they don't want me to "save the rejection" but removing black customers from my demographic would be like 30% of the clientele... yikes
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
people are going to say mean things, and im super sensitive so i know how hard it is to deal with it..never forget when one customer said to his buddy " is that a woman or a 12 year old" because i had small boobs..that comment stuck with me a lot, but you really do have to get to a point where things just roll off you and just laugh at the idiots! because plenty of guys are going to love our body type but you are not going to be EVERYBODY'S cup of tea, it just isn't possible. insecure, petty men are the ones who make those comments, and it reflects badly on them not you.
i can't speak for everybody, but i know that i have a certain demographic that i appeal to, and i know my clientele..i think a lot of other girls do too. nothing wrong with that..so i guess im in the same boat as you are with that, i simply don't appeal to most black men so i dont generally waste my time
That's how I feel about it. Ive convinced.myself they don't want me to "save the rejection" but removing black customers from my demographic would be like 30% of the clientele... yikes
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Like Simone says, you won't be everyone's cup of tea, and that applies to men of any race. Don't limit yourself right away saying oh he won't like me!
I kind of get how you feel- I thought black guys didn't like me at first (I'm white), but then I heard some of the black dancers are the club complaining that black guys never want them, and I was like, hmm... maybe we are all just ignoring the black guys assuming they don't want us. I definitely stepped my hustle up with black guys after that and it has payed off. Especially if other girls in your club aren't paying attention to men of color, they'll be extra appreciative when you take the time to say hi and see if they want dances.
Last note, a lot of times my black customers aren't even that into the booty, but if you get one who is, maybe just master a few booty-poppin' tricks that you can pull out when someone is into that. There are so many youtube videos and classes now to learn booty tricks, and you don't even need that much of a butt to do them- just good muscle control.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
I'm going to try this week. I will make it a point to talk to every customer, black pink, silver, white, gold purple, teal etc. Lol
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
I don't even try to approach every customer. There are just some guys I know I'm not going to click with, so I don't waste my time trying to build a connection. This has nothing to do with race. Or gender. Or sexual orientation. Yes, I've danced for gay men. People buy dances for all kinds of reasons, and being attracted to the dancer is just one out of many.
Approach the guys you click with. That is where you are most likely going to make a sale. Don't waste your time with a customer who is obviously not interested in you. Especially don't do this when there is a club full of potential customers!
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
See that's odd to me because in my experience, the white guys are super picky and the black guys enjoy almost everyone and just like to have fun. There's one black guy who always comes to the club and spends a lot.. Well one night I guess he shouted that I have "mosquito bite boobs" while I was on stage (I didn't hear it) and I was told days later when I went back to work. Although it really pissed me off, I still had a regular conversation with him when he came back. he ended up really falling for me and spends at least 100 every week and asks me out all the time.
So yeah, if I were you I wouldn't have even taken that one custies opinion to heart to begin with, and just know that not only was that completely false but you can also sometimes change the ones who are really set in their ways. Hope this helped at all lol
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
I'm always puzzled when black guys like me. My bf teases me and says "You're getting fat, that's why they're tipping you!"
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
I had an interesting experience with black customers. The younger guys or the less wealthy black men generally didn't like me because most of them wanted a girl with a big butt, which I don't have. However, many of my customers were older black professional men. Why did they like me but generally not younger black men? who knows, I suspect that most of these guys lived in a "white" world to speak (they tended to live in upper class areas and had white collar jobs)and perhaps associated big butts with being ghetto. That's just a guess though. Just for the record I generally didn't appeal to young white guys either. however keep in mind that not everyone you meet will fall into these categories and everyone has their own preference.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
EVERY customer different. EVERY customer has their own taste. By taking what that douche said to heart, you are letting him reinforce a stereotype that may not even be true. Don't let him decide what someone else may or may not like. By walking up to a black customer, it may be your biggest money night, you could get turned down again. It happens with white men, Hispanic, Asian, Indian, all of them. Just be yourself and give all men a fair shot. You'll either get their money or you can move on to someone else.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
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Originally Posted by
Kellydancer
I had an interesting experience with black customers. The younger guys or the less wealthy black men generally didn't like me because most of them wanted a girl with a big butt, which I don't have. However, many of my customers were older black professional men. Why did they like me but generally not younger black men? who knows, I suspect that most of these guys lived in a "white" world to speak (they tended to live in upper class areas and had white collar jobs)and perhaps associated big butts with being ghetto. That's just a guess though. Just for the record I generally didn't appeal to young white guys either. however keep in mind that not everyone you meet will fall into these categories and everyone has their own preference.
Lol
Young white guys like me and old too. Mean black customer was my first, then I tried another younger black customer and no success. The third and fourth were maybe mid forties and both got the fifteen min vip room. Unfortunately I was wasted last two times so God knows what sale tactic I used. Grrrr
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
I think you shouldn't make generalizations of a whole demographic of people just because of what one individual said. One black man does not speak for all black men so it's silly to have a 'phobia' of these men just because of what one man said. Men (and women) of all races are going to say stupid or mean things. If you attribute what they say to their race and assume the entire race thinks that way, you're going to have a phobia of everyone. That's my advice on helping you overcome your 'phobia' of black men.
As a stripper you shouldn't let the comments of others, especially just one person in general, ruin your outlook on money making or your confidence. Confidence is key, and you should re-evaluate your self-esteem if you let the comments of another person affect you so deeply.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TheWeirdOne
Lol
Young white guys like me and old too. Mean black customer was my first, then I tried another younger black customer and no success. The third and fourth were maybe mid forties and both got the fifteen min vip room. Unfortunately I was wasted last two times so God knows what sale tactic I used. Grrrr
I've never had a mean black customer. I had one accuse me of being racist because I didn't come to him right away, but that's because I didn't see him (he was in a corner). However he spent money. The worst I've dealt with have been young white guys though have had nice white guys too. My point is I tried not to say all people of a group were bad. However I did generally have bad experiences with certain groups of guys so I tried to avoid but then there are always exceptions.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Nina_
I think you shouldn't make generalizations of a whole demographic of people just because of what one individual said. One black man does not speak for all black men so it's silly to have a 'phobia' of these men just because of what one man said. Men (and women) of all races are going to say stupid or mean things. If you attribute what they say to their race and assume the entire race thinks that way, you're going to have a phobia of everyone. That's my advice on helping you overcome your 'phobia' of black men.
As a stripper you shouldn't let the comments of others, especially just one person in general, ruin your outlook on money making or your confidence. Confidence is key, and you should re-evaluate your self-esteem if you let the comments of another person affect you so deeply.
I agree. It's like all the other stereotypes against whole races of people based off one or a few. Broad generalisations like that are not cool. Every single person is different and has their own preferences of what they like or find attractive in a woman.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Don't stereotype... I dance for black guys all the time-- I danced for one tonight-- and I don't have a huge ass. I mean, maybe that's what some of them like but not all of them. Just like not all Asian guys want to dance with skinny blonde white chicks.
I will admit that I am sometimes hesitant to approach black guys just because I find they are the ones who are the most persistent about me coming home with them, and sometimes they can be very forward in propositioning me. But I still approach them on a regular basis. Just because you have a bad experience with a customer doesn't mean that it will translate to the rest.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Yuppies and older black guys tend to go for slimmer dancers, IME.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TheWeirdOne
On my first week of dancing a black customer told me that black guys don't like girls with no booty. I still subconsciously hear his words in my head when I'm considering approaching a black customer lets not even talk about groups of black men. It really sucks because these men tend to tip well onstage and get a consistent number of dances. I use to work in a club with practically no black clientele but my current club has a steady amount, lots of diversity. What's silly is that I.do have a relatively big butt. I workout, have absolutely no cellulite on my butt or thighs. My body is pretty toned from everywhere. I get compliments on my butt all the time itc and otc, like the gym. I'm a petite latina with nc40 skin tone 34c natural size 2 pantsI need my confidence back to approach all customers. I'm petrified they will say another mean comment and embarrass me. It seems I attract Asians, whites, latinos and a few Indians sprinkled in there. I hope this dsnt sound racist = )
I know how you feel about subconsciously hearing words a customer has told you. I am black and don't have much of an ass. A few years ago I remember sitting on this customers lap and he looked me dead in my eye and said "thank you for coming over I appreciate it but you are going to have to get off my lap, your ass just ain't big enough!" Well I hopped down and said "well darlin' I'm sorry but what I have is mine I didn't buy it (a lot of girls have those butt shots) but I will run circles around those that do have ass. Oh well you have a nice night." That was in '09 and what year is it.... so yea I completely understand. But guess what I have men tell me how beautiful my body is and how glad they are that I don't have butt shots and how well I can move my ass.
In your case I say this. Black men love latina's. For one that doesn't there will be many more that absolutely do. Walk up to that man with a seductive look in your eye and introduce yourself. Get close enough to whisper in his ear and whisper something in spanish. Girl I wish I could. IME Black men love every race:white, latina, indian, blue, black, purple, and any other color you can make up. The man may be older, he may be younger but you will never know until you approach. If he does say something mean just walk away and give that fool the evil eye. He may say no at first and then check you out and want to marry you later.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
just the other night i had a good night and made a lot of my money off of an awesome black guy. we talked for awhile and get got 300 bucks worth of dances and then tipped and told me he wanted to come back for more! i almost NEVER get dances from black guys as a small white girl and this just goes to show you that you never know! i had gotten to the point where i wouldn't even approach them because of a few real bad experiences but nope , not anymore.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
just the other night i had a good night and made a lot of my money off of an awesome black guy. we talked for awhile and get got 300 bucks worth of dances and then tipped and told me he wanted to come back for more! i almost NEVER get dances from black guys as a small white girl and this just goes to show you that you never know! i had gotten to the point where i wouldn't even approach them because of a few real bad experiences but nope , not anymore.
I danced for a young black guy that spent some money... then he started asking me if I would do private parties, since he is a driver...... ughhh lol
Hurray! Yea I'm getting over it now =) ugh I need to go to work I'm being lazy. I did shitty this Saturday like 160$ after payout =( effing sucked.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
Ok idk what the fuck is going on but the past 2 weeks I have been attracting all kinds of black guys. Young, old, thugs, yuppie, you name it. I'm not fat, (size 3) pale, I play metal, I hate most rap. I'm not their usual cup o'tea. So what the fuck is going on?? If black guys going for a skinny goth with huge tatas doesn't count as unexplained phenomena, then I don't know what does. Call Mulder and Scully!!
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
As a goth/rivet/metalhead black chic I can say there are those of us out there who don't like rap/hip hop/r n b. Just sayin. Not to say that they're all black metal fans, but a lot of black guys listen to more than just hip hop and some don't care for it at all.
Anyways, it's not a good idea to typecast customers of any race or musical preference. The strip club is like Baskin Robbins to a guy. Maybe he usually gets rocky road. But one day he just might go for cookies and cream. Guys are fickle. Get whatever $$$ you can while it's there.
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
You are so silly tempest666! And I love and miss the XFiles (girl some are too young to know what show that was). But yep I agree with xStitchesx and you never know what a guy is looking for. Consider yourself lucky to be able to attract not just one type, that's that good shit! Take it in stride and run with all their wallets!
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Re: ok it's time! how to overcome my black customer phobia
hey dont discount anyone. every guy ahs a different preference. im heavyset bigboobs and politically informed and usually older white gents cup o tea... i always discounted young guys bc i thought they were all broke or looking for super"hot girls" and some of my best money has been made from young and old. hey go up to everybody!!!!! u nvr know who is gonna be a new regular