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fuckin' dudes, man...
So I've recently figured out that while being a total fuck slut as fuck buddies is not what i'm seeking right now. and i've begun telling guys this and that MY.TIME.IS.NOT.TO.BE.WASTED. (camming has def affected my view of most guys, and not at all in a good way. but it also has made me learn so much about myself that I really really really am grateful for....weird tradeoff) soooooooooooo here's an experience today. Back story - This guy worked downstairs from my salon/spa when i lived in SF. I come on STRONG so if they're gonna be rejection, it's immediate and i move on. SOOOO, i guess i had mentioned my modeling name or something because in October he located my tumblr & messaged me. It's srsly 6 yrs later. He was texting a bunch, but never really made any solid plans. annoying, but i'm not one to be waiting desperately by the phone. I finally said in mid-nov "yeah, it's cute to talk about hanging out, but it's better to actually hang out. You're busy, I'm busy, so let's not waste each others time." on this past tuesday, a text from him....this.... see attachments below!
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3 Attachment(s)
Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
FOR FUCKS SAKE, HIS CHANCE IS GONE. and i do not feel one bit sorry for calling him out on it. Really, I just wanted to visit seattle!
Anyway, if you have any especially lame experiences with men in the past, I'd love to hear 'em....
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Love the title haha! The majority get their kicks from texting. It is a very masterbatory society we are in. People live very boring, scripted lives, unlike ourselves of course. You'd have probably been bored to tears meeting him anyway.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MellyMay
FOR FUCKS SAKE, HIS CHANCE IS GONE. and i do not feel one bit sorry for calling him out on it. Really, I just wanted to visit seattle!
Anyway, if you have any especially lame experiences with men in the past, I'd love to hear 'em....
Do you have about 2 wks uninterrupted time, lol?
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
I HATE that, when they talk about hanging out and then don't. Gah. My ex was like that after we broke up. He'd text me all the time how he missed me but never made solid plans.
At one point he wanted to take me up north to snowboard and stay at his parents house.... never happened. When he moved out of the city, he'd get all excited and blow up my phone when he was back in town, and then never make actual plans. If a group of us invited him to something, he'd say he was coming and then not show. Yeah, he's a bit of a flake >_<
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
i had one FWB ( well, he had a problem with me sleeping with somebody else but he could. uhuhh)..only it was 3 years ago, i was madly in love with him. i spent every day with him ( he texted me and invited me over everyday), but he had to move to CT. he always talked about meeting up in boston and seeing the ducks ( idk is that supposed to be a cool date or something?), but he would NEVER follow through because i guess i wasn't worth driving to boston for. turns out he sleeps with my best friend and the next day meets her in boston and they go see the ducks. i quit talking to him after that
ugh that dude sounds really annoying! glad you put your foot down
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Simone I feel like that is the story of my life. And also Melly fuck that guy. I hate that nonsense I never realized how much men use texts for masturbating and shit until I started in this industry. Fucking timewasters!!! :-\ I'm sorry your plans fell through that is the worst :( Good luck with the next!
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
I'm with you. I hate the last minute "wanna hang out" and all the vagueness associated with it.
I use the teasing manner I learned from working in the club to set them straight. I playfully ask "Are you asking me out? Cause I'd love it if you were! But, I'm not a hang out kind of girl. So...when are you picking me up and should I wear a dress?"
It makes them act more decisively. If they stammer and make excuses, then I make my excuse to leave and not look back. I have my answer with minimal frustration. As my dad used to say, "Are you going to fish or cut bait?"
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Sorry, double post. (been making that mistake quite a bit lately lol).
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Funny, in my experience it's the other way around, lol. I guess it's more about being a direct person than a gender issue. But the OP was awesome regardless, becuz wow, what an idiot.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PinkMinx
I use the teasing manner I learned from working in the club to set them straight. I playfully ask "Are you asking me out? Cause I'd love it if you were! But, I'm not a hang out kind of girl. So...when are you picking me up and should I wear a dress?"
YES. I started doing this. If they go "Do you wanna hang out some time?", I'll go "Well you can take me on a date!" That clears up whether they are just trying to get some ass or want to go on an actual date, or want to literally just hang out as friends. I also just enjoy putting men on the spot and seeing them taken aback at my direct-ness, tee hee.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
It's funny, because I am totally liberated right now, after 10 years of constant relationships, most of which I wondered "How the heck did I get into this hot mess?" Disclaimer: I am honestly not recommending relationships, because they are very limiting in your personal growth, but I understand wanting to experience one.....so First of all, when seeking a relationship, not a FWB the trick is not to seek, guys will come to you, the more cautious and stand-offish you are the more they want you.
Also, don't try to do long-distance, that only ends up in physical attraction, a man needs to see you to really build up that desire for you emotionally. Men are very visual creatures, so always appear confident and self-sufficient. You want your potential mate to respect you. Other than that, when I am in a relationship I always treat it like a friendship and surprisingly guys love that! I can be a bit vulgar and share TMI and they are totally down? Just my experience, but for some reason they like that.....I've been teased that I should have been a guy, I guess they like being with me because I can be on the wavelength comparable to if I was a guy friend, but have a vagina LOL.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
First, i was always nervous, and quite a bit obtuse, but man what kind of guys can't risk asking for a date. I totally agree with the women saying 'ask me out'
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tarasaurusrex
First of all, when seeking a relationship, not a FWB the trick is not to seek, guys will come to you, the more cautious and stand-offish you are the more they want you.
L.
As a guy, who has watched many of his female friends date wrong guy after wrong guy, I say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
you know what that strategy will get you?
the most aggressive guy in the room.
Not nice, not rich, not good looking, not sexy, not kind, not sweet, not smart, not well hung, not ambitious, not respectful, not whatever it is that you actually want
GO out and take what you want.
Women in general are not built that way, but this group of women, they ought to be good at that
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
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Originally Posted by
oldster
GO out and take what you want.
Women in general are not built that way, but this group of women, they ought to be good at that
Fwahahaha. Sigged.
But yep, definitely easier to not play head games... if a guy wants to go out with you, he needs to act on it... As my friend once told the aforementioned ex whilst he was dicking around, "You need to pass the bowl or smoke it".
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
I started dating this guy a couple weeks ago and we were getting along really well. I'm leaving the country in 3 weeks so I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere (and at the present moment I'm being a bit of dating ho and juggling 4 different guys, not sleeping with them all but hanging out) and he was fucking HOT so I figured what the fuck I'll just sleep with him. I went to his hotel room and we started hooking up and he was being CRAZY insecure. When we were kissing he kept saying "you don't want to kiss me you're keeping your mouth closed" and when he was fingering me I moved his hand a little and he got really upset and was like "you don't like the way I touch you."
I'm sorry but I don't cum from sex, I need you to fucking finger me and do it the right way and I will not be ashamed of that and if you do it wrong I will tell you! Honestly I would really prefer it if a guy were to move my hand or ask me to move my mouth up or down when I was going down on him or giving him a hand job, I always ask a guy if he's enjoying himself when I'm doing something like that (not in an insecure way but if the guy is being quiet I'll ask if there's something he likes). People are different! But anyway we were about to start having sex and I asked him if he had a condom and he was like "ooh you don't trust me you think I have a disease or something?" OMG! Well I had sex with him and it was not very good (and he wore a condom fuck that shit, yeah I don't know you!) but at the time I felt bad for him for being so insecure. But the next morning I started thinking about it and I began wondering if the whole thing was an act? Like was that his way to get me to go bare-back with him? I don't know, I really am wondering now. Needless to say that was the last time I saw him! Dumbass.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
I always figured you should wear a condom unless the woman tells you otherwise, and if you don’t know what she wants or she doesn’t tell you, ask.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
oldster
First, i was always nervous, and quite a bit obtuse, but man what kind of guys can't risk asking for a date. I totally agree with the women saying 'ask me out'
As a guy, who has watched many of his female friends date wrong guy after wrong guy, I say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
you know what that strategy will get you?
the most aggressive guy in the room.
Not nice, not rich, not good looking, not sexy, not kind, not sweet, not smart, not well hung, not ambitious, not respectful, not whatever it is that you actually want
GO out and take what you want.
Women in general are not built that way, but this group of women, they ought to be good at that
Well you are right about the aggressive aspect.....but I wouldn't say that has any bearing on their penis size or looks LOL - I've dated some hot men, but mentally were hot messes! I guess part of my logic is I always want someone to like me more than I like them, to avoid ever getting hurt.....this is why I am single now.....obviously I have a very unhealthy view of relationships and need to work on the most important relationship: the one I have with myself.
Thanks for the insight though, coming from a man's perspective!
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
slowpoke
I always figured you should wear a condom unless the woman tells you otherwise, and if you don’t know what she wants or she doesn't tell you, ask.
You should always use a condom ALWAYS - the only exception is once you are both exclusive and have both had the FULL STD panel. Better safe then sorry, even thing, wear condoms unless you can 100% be sure that the relationship is truly monogamous. Also, condoms are good because some women are sensitive to the pill and it does increase the risk of hypertension and blood clots, so it's the form of BC that covers all bases at once, if used correctly, of course.
If a guy ever tries to make you feel bad for wanting to be safe - run in the opposite direction - FAST! They obviously have no concern for you or themselves and that equates to a dangerous person!
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
I mean, it's one thing if it's a serious relationship... with all the guys I've dated for 6+ months I've had sex without a condom, but there's always been a conversation-- I go on birth control, we agree we're not sleeping with other people, in one instance we went to get checked for STDs together, it's a SERIOUS relationship so I trust them, and even in that instance a couple of girls have told me I'm being irresponsible/crazy... but this was a guy I had known for two weeks and who's hotel room I went to at 2am, this was NOT even a relationship! I told him I wasn't on birth control and he told me "well I would pull out before I came." Uhm, OK but what about pre-cum? I get guys just want to ride bare-back, I personally prefer bare-back, but I'm very careful about it and that is how I have never gotten an STD. I really just think the whole insecure thing was an act though, his manipulative fucking way to get inside me without having to wear any latex ::)
I just thought it was odd as well because this guy is worth like 20 million dollars and he's not even 30 yet, he works in the entrainment industry and he's been SUPER successful. Whenever I've slept with someone who is wealthy like that I feel like they can't get the condom on fast enough and the thought of unprotected sex-- and 20% of their earnings being garnished and put toward child support-- it enough to make them go soft.
Whatever, I guess he's just young and stupid! I mean I knew he wasn't boyfriend material before this but the whole instance just convinced me he was a total fucking loser.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audrey_k
I mean, it's one thing if it's a serious relationship... with all the guys I've dated for 6+ months I've had sex without a condom, but there's always been a conversation-- I go on birth control, we agree we're not sleeping with other people, in one instance we went to get checked for STDs together, it's a SERIOUS relationship so I trust them, and even in that instance a couple of girls have told me I'm being irresponsible/crazy... but this was a guy I had known for two weeks and who's hotel room I went to at 2am, this was NOT even a relationship! I told him I wasn't on birth control and he told me "well I would pull out before I came." Uhm, OK but what about pre-cum? I get guys just want to ride bare-back, I personally prefer bare-back, but I'm very careful about it and that is how I have never gotten an STD. I really just think the whole insecure thing was an act though, his manipulative fucking way to get inside me without having to wear any latex ::)
I just thought it was odd as well because this guy is worth like 20 million dollars and he's not even 30 yet, he works in the entrainment industry and he's been SUPER successful. Whenever I've slept with someone who is wealthy like that I feel like they can't get the condom on fast enough and the thought of unprotected sex-- and 20% of their earnings being garnished and put toward child support-- it enough to make them go soft.
Whatever, I guess he's just young and stupid! I mean I knew he wasn't boyfriend material before this but the whole instance just convinced me he was a total fucking loser.
It's not odd, people with disproportionate amounts of cash at a young age often feel very entitled and/or invincible. He probably convinced himself he has enough cash to deal with any issue and make it "go away" - sadly a lot of young, wealthy people, who haven't learned to manage their money ethically and responsibly will buy people off.....my friend is a lawyer and she worked on a rape case, where no one thought it made sense that an attractive rich young man would rape a poor Hispanic girl, especially since he allegedly had a girlfriend, the victim withdrew the charges and she is 100% sure she was paid off (she had hospital pics of being beaten, so obviously something happened) - when you have everything, you want more and sometimes that morphs into a power-trip that can be extremely dangerous.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
I don't know :-\ that's never been my experience with wealthy intelligent men! I mean I think you're right, there was definitely some kind of power-trip going on there-- that's why his, I'm-so-hurt-you-won't-fuck-me-without-a-condom thing felt like an act to me, just his way to see if he could get me to do it-- but I just hasn't been my experience. I mean one of my exs (who was also super wealthy) had NO interest in sleeping with me without a condom, he was utterly terrified of it and not only did I have to be on birth control and we used a condom, but he pulled out every single time!
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Selina,
I 'm gettin all misty, I've been sigged!
Audrey,
What a weirdo, definite power/control issues
by rights the guys complaints shoulda sounded like mmfmmffmfffumffmmm...............................
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audrey_k
I don't know :-\ that's never been my experience with wealthy intelligent men! I mean I think you're right, there was definitely some kind of power-trip going on there-- that's why his, I'm-so-hurt-you-won't-fuck-me-without-a-condom thing felt like an act to me, just his way to see if he could get me to do it-- but I just hasn't been my experience. I mean one of my exs (who was also super wealthy) had NO interest in sleeping with me without a condom, he was utterly terrified of it and not only did I have to be on birth control and we used a condom, but he pulled out every single time!
It's not always the case....but if someone is already pre-disposed to psychopathy, an extreme influx of cash can be the catalyst they need to act on their underlying dark side.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tarasaurusrex
It's not odd, people with disproportionate amounts of cash at a young age often feel very entitled and/or invincible. He probably convinced himself he has enough cash to deal with any issue and make it "go away" - sadly a lot of young, wealthy people, who haven't learned to manage their money ethically and responsibly will buy people off.....my friend is a lawyer and she worked on a rape case, where no one thought it made sense that an attractive rich young man would rape a poor Hispanic girl, especially since he allegedly had a girlfriend, the victim withdrew the charges and she is 100% sure she was paid off (she had hospital pics of being beaten, so obviously something happened) - when you have everything, you want more and sometimes that morphs into a power-trip that can be extremely dangerous.
Oooh...that is so right girl about some of the attractive rich men....I remember I was being sexual harassed at a college by a bunch of rich and handsome jocks. When the school did not do anything about it...I took them to court where one of their mothers wanted to pay me off 50 thousand to make it go away. This was the one time I said no to the money because they tried to drive me away from the school. Lucky for me...the judge was nice and believe me when I told them their harassment made me scared to death. So I won my case...but the school still kept them as star students until one of them rape a Japanese foreign student at another campus after a lacrosse game.They had everything...looks, riches, and huge entitlement issues. So I would like to thank you for talking about that...Tarasaurusrex:) Hugs you are the best.
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Re: fuckin' dudes, man...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tarasaurusrex
It's not always the case....but if someone is already pre-disposed to psychopathy, an extreme influx of cash can be the catalyst they need to act on their underlying dark side.
So very true!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
oldster
As a guy, who has watched many of his female friends date wrong guy after wrong guy, I say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
you know what that strategy will get you?
the most aggressive guy in the room.
Not nice, not rich, not good looking, not sexy, not kind, not sweet, not smart, not well hung, not ambitious, not respectful, not whatever it is that you actually want
GO out and take what you want.
Women in general are not built that way, but this group of women, they ought to be good at that
Also true!