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dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
i started bartending and dancing to get through school; i majored in dance and also took business classes just for my own interests. I kept dancing for a few years after graduating - there are definitely downsides to club dancing obviously, but WOW do i miss the autonomy. Making my own schedule and hours, working 3 nights a week and having loads of free time to work on my own projects (choreographing, practicing, putting shows together with local companies...), working with my circadian rhythms (i'm a night owl)...
Then the money started going downhill with the recession and all. I got to the point where it just wasn't working financially anymore. everyone was pushing me to go back to school for "something practical". so i went back and got a nursing degree. holy crap, i do not know how people survive in jobs like this. obviously i'm spoiled. i cannot stand following silly corporate policies that make no sense, reporting to a boss every day, having someone else tell me when to work, working 40 hours a week, getting up at the buttcrack of dawn, and having no energy or time left over for what's important to me. Even worse than all that is knowing that I'm breaking my back to make someone else rich. There's no opportunity for more. It's so NOT motivating to know that i can never make more than $x per hour no matter what. One thing i liked about dancing was challenging myself to hit $ goals every night, pushing myself to see how much I could make.
am i alone in this, or has dancing spoiled anyone else here? I'm starting on a business experiment now and am energized about it in a way that I never am about going to work for someone else and doing a job that bores me.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Was literally just lamenting over this yesterday. I'm spoiled as fuck now too. The thing is, in the industry, I don't even make that much money. I've never been "banking" per se, but I make far more than I did working crummy jobs way more hours every week, and as long as I can take care of everything, have a little left over to save and have fun with, and I have a lot of free time to focus on the things that are important to me, I'm happy. Sometimes I think "I need to get out and do a normal job that I don't have to lie about and will look good on a resume." But I just honestly can't stomach the idea anymore.
I know "everyone else does it" but I feel like that's only because they feel they have no other choice. Of course you'll drag yourself along, working for someone else while being vastly underpaid, with no opportunities to make more money with more work and few opportunities for advancement, and no free time because you're exhausted and miserable and broke... if you feel you have no other choice. But if you know damn well that there is an opportunity out there, that you know you can and have accomplished in the past, where you can make just as much, if not more, money on your schedule and your terms, without reporting to anyone else, and will leave you with the time and resources to live a much happier and fulfilling life... Yeah, no kidding you can't just "accept your fate" in the bullshit corporate world! :D
That's why I just don't know what to do with myself right now. I know I need to start looking into ways to get out, and if that involves more schooling, I need to get on that. But I can't justify going back to school, spending more money, and leaving the lifestyle I have now for something that doesn't make me equally happy and excited about what I'm doing.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
As a musician and writer stripping gives me money and time. Tbh, as long as I am making a good average per hour I am happy. I don't need to be making $1,000 a night. But thats one reason why I LOVE dancing. The potential to earn way more and not have to kiss some dumb manager's ass to do it. I work when I want, and even though there are nights where I make less then 100$, I cannot give up that freedom. Cause there are nights the deff make it way worth it.
I don't have to call in when I am sick or when I am tired.
I can work virtually anywhere.
I will never do the "college, then 9-5" life ever again.
And I sell amateur porn on the side anyway so.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
OP, i'm a nurse too, and i can tell you honestly that i would much prefer dancing. healthcare is a grueling career, especially as an RN with so much responsibility riding on your license which may have cost you anywhere from 10-50K to get (mine was around 30K). i sometimes think of giving it up, but what i've ultimately done is to cut my hours and go per diem. that way you keep out of the politics and hellish hours.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Oh, I'm so excited to hear there are more stripper-gone-medical girls on here :D
But yes, OP, totally relate. I quit my waitressing gig 2 days ago.
I was telling my mother the other day that I think dancing ruined me; I really have a hard time adjusting to bullshit rules and being told when I have to be somewhere, taking orders from people who aren't very smart, having to hold my tongue when customers complain.... I can't do it anymore. The worst is that one of the girls on here was telling me how awesome the money is at her new club, and I was remembering that as I was re-filling ketchup bottles, hoping I'd clear $100 for the 8 hour shift I was on... nearly walked out right then.
I am nowhere near queen of the hustlers, but just being able to schedule my shifts when I want them, and never having to tell a friend I can't make their birthday party, or not having to work 3 days straight before a big test, is enough benefit that even without the money it would be great.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Unpopular opinion, perhaps... but I find work and stripping equally satisfying. I find civilian work to be a lot easier (though I do struggle with being on time), but the salary vs. the effort is essentially the same. Civilian work involves correspondence, administrative junk like phones, databases, and coordinating people's schedules/plans... it's so easy! The pay isn't anything to write home about... but goodness, it's a nice break for the slow months at the club in this economy. There is barely any stress and a lot less aggravation. Once my classes start in Spring, I'll be back in the club on a more regular basis... with a very nicely padded resume.
I think I'm lucky in the sense that I can live beneath my means and save regardless of how much I make. I try not to think about comparing one good night at the club vs. a weeks worth of vanilla work. It's a pointless way to think. A meager salary is still better to me, psychologically, than a 10 hour shift that leaves me poorer than when I came in.
Everything is everything. Progress never stops. I have made a promise to myself to make it work and be happy no matter what.
I believe that what I'm doing is beneficial to others and beneficial (in the most selfish sense) to me and my plans. That makes the unfamiliar regimen worth it.
We as strippers straddle the line. We have the luxury of opting to dance or work like the other folks. We always have a "Plan *B*" no matter what side of the fence we are on. If you embrace your choices, you'll feel a lot more free. Nobody can force us to do what we don't want to... But the responsibility to be honest about what you can/can't tolerate rests squarely on you.
Be true to yourself. You can't go wrong. ;)
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
yup. i wanted to be an RN, so i became a CNA first, and that alone completely turned me off health care field in general. the hierarchy , the abuse, the intense physical labor, emotionally draining atmosphere, the health risks...people always say that stripping is supposed to feel degrading? ive never felt so degraded as i did cleaning up people's shit from the floor and getting yelled at and talked down to by nurses and doctors.
i'm really wanting to go back to school now that im in my mid-20s, but i can't find anything that even slightly compares to what i would make dancing for so little work :( it has most definitely spoiled me!! i don't know if i can go back to a 9-5, i intend on working for myself when i finally exit the adult industry
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
countcrabula
OP, i'm a nurse too, and i can tell you honestly that i would much prefer dancing. healthcare is a grueling career, especially as an RN with so much responsibility riding on your license which may have cost you anywhere from 10-50K to get (mine was around 30K). i sometimes think of giving it up, but what i've ultimately done is to cut my hours and go per diem. that way you keep out of the politics and hellish hours.
i'm doing per diem too - at least it's more money per hour than full time, and like you said, no politics and whatnot. dealing with patients is exhausting - I like to keep my interactions superficial at work. And I am not used to the "customer is always right" mentality in healthcare- I cannot stand letting people speak to me disrespectfully without being allowed to say anything back! Patients can scream, swear at us, throw things, etc. and we're not even allowed to say "that's not acceptable" to them.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
^ one thing that bugged me too was what you just mentioned. with stripping, if a guy grabs me or speaks disrespectfully i can walk away/ have him thrown out/tell him to fuck off etc. but i can't tell you how many times a resident grabbed my ass, tried to rip my clothes off, physically assaulted me, etc and there is nothing you can do. sometimes they can't even be restrained, you just have to take it
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
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Originally Posted by
simone87
but i can't tell you how many times a resident grabbed my ass, tried to rip my clothes off, physically assaulted me, etc and there is nothing you can do. sometimes they can't even be restrained, you just have to take it
Oh my Goodness! That is awful! What the fuck?
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sophia_Starina
Unpopular opinion, perhaps...
i don't think so. :) it makes sense. i agree we all have the responsibility to know ourselves, to know what's most important to us and what we can/can't tolerate.
i definitely don't want to go back to dancing, and I realize i'm looking at it with rose coloured glasses - exaggerating the positives and conveniently minimizing the downsides. but i'm realizing there are certain things about "regular" employment that i just can't accept after working more or less on my own terms for 5 years, and i'm much happier being self-employed, so I have to get out there and make it work.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
recognize yourself in any of this article? i know i do. :p http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/224791
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sorsi
recognize yourself in any of this article? i know i do. :p
That is me to a T! That being said, entrepreneurship is the only job worth leaving sexwork for.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sophia_Starina
But the responsibility to be honest about what you can/can't tolerate rests squarely on you.
i really needed to see this.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
I am sooo spoiled! As the others have stated ^ above this job allows to be who WE are as women & allows us the freedom to live our lives as we want. I don't think i'll ever go back to having a "normal" job ever again , the thought of it just makes me laugh. Beauty is power!
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Quote:
i wanted to be an RN, so i became a CNA first, and that alone completely turned me off health care field in general. the hierarchy , the abuse, the intense physical labor, emotionally draining atmosphere, the health risks...people always say that stripping is supposed to feel degrading? ive never felt so degraded as i did cleaning up people's shit from the floor and getting yelled at and talked down to by nurses and doctors.
Indeed, before I ever started dancing and camming, I had obtained a college degree + license and worked as a Respiratory Therapist for a few years. Indeed having to deal with doctors and nurses who know little or nothing about Respiratory Therapy, but who refuse to take the life-saving advice from someone who DOES know, was frustrating. And having to deal with patients' communicable diseases, from TB to AIDS tainted blood, poses significant personal risk. Add to that being forced to work nights, weekends & holidays, and getting paid just enough to make sure that you'll never be able to improve your ( or your childrens' ) standard of living, and the realities of working in a health care profession certainly don't match the 'public perception'.
On the flip side, dancing and camming allowed me the opportunity to significantly improve my ( and my child's ) standard of living that a lifetime of work as an RT would never have been able to provide.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Dancing spoiled not only me, but my BF too. BF has full time job, I worked a vanilla job and danced on weekends. During vanilla hours our daughter was in daycare, he would watch her at night. I ended up quitting my vanilla job and kept dancing, we had $200 less a month so I picked up 1 more night dancing to make it up. Seriously, I was working 56 hours a week and was able to cut it down to only 24. That is how much daycare cost us!
I quit dancing (I got fat after a surgery and can't drop the weight) and started doing clips and trying camming. Right now I'm making a lot less money. I'll tell my BF I'm thinking of getting a job and he says, "Is it really worth putting the kids back in daycare so you can make enough money to get you nails done? I'll take the kids out so you can film some extra clips." I always forget how much daycare cost and it would be even more now that we have 2 kids. So I put on my makeup, film a couple of clips, and feel better.
I do agree with Sophia. Knowing how much you are going to get every week from a 9-5 is nice. But that is the only nice thing about it. At the pharmacy, I was always getting paid, so I always had to be nice even if someone was yelling at me for something out of my control. I had to be at work 8 hours. I like knowing that for some extra effort, I can make a living on my own terms. On the days that I'm not making crap, I can yell at the freeloaders and ban them. Or I can hop off the computer and take a bubble bath.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
i intend on working for myself when i finally exit the adult industry
The awesome thing about working in the industry is that provided you're doing it in a healthy, responsible way, you're also preparing yourself for working in other industries along the way. I can't imagine many people better suited to working for themselves than someone who knows how to set their schedule, financial goals, evaluate their market, and stick with it. Not to mention the start-up cash working effectively in the adult industry provides...
Little wonder many successful entrepreneurs come from an adult industry background.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Yes, it spoiled me too. I had several jobs before dancing (mostly waitressing) but since I started dancing I haven't worked any other jobs. The thought of a 9-5, having to stick to a schedule all the time, having to possibly kiss people's asses, (etc) just bothers me. Eventually I'll have to start internships and then get a 9-5, and I will miss being able to so independently choose when and how I want to work.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
It spoiled me because now all I wanna do is date men who are successful, and unfortunately a lot of them have control and power issues so fuck that lol. I kind of miss being able to see past someone's basic job. Now he has to have a decent nest egg for me to commit. I don't even want the money, I just want the stability/security and "equalness" that comes from a mate who makes a good living like a sexworker does.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
I think maybe you are doing the wrong kind of work and that is the problem. Just like if you try dancing and hate it, you shouldn't be a dancer, if you hate your vanilla job, maybe it isn't right for you? It sounds like you are very entrepreneurial, many dancers are, myself included. I think you would benefit from a job where you have greater autonomy, you might not be able to find something like that in nursing, but I'm sure as the baby boomers continue to age out there will be plenty of opportunities for homecare businesses. I know someone who started one back in 2005 and she is raking it in. She's not even a nurse, and her staff aren't either. For care from a nursing professional I'm sure you could charge way more. There are lots of options, so don't be afraid to call NEXT! Just make sure you find yourself a fulfilling career you can commit to for the longrun in time to completely retire from dancing. But it's a nice lifeboat to have in the early years of your career while you're getting comforable for sure, don't be afraid to go back once or twice, or part time :)
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
I wouldn't say it spoiled me, but I do truly feel that it helped carve my path. I was so miserable at my 9-5 that I got really obsessed with dancing again and it wasn't until I started my own direct selling business that I found that me being in control, setting my hours and rules that I started to see that entrepreneurship was the best option for me. And that link is spot on!
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
I'm so spoiled . I'm dying to go back. My front desk job is just killin me and I'm getting out of shape .like I have no grind and I have to listen to my residents whine all day
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Oh goodness yes! I've never been one for the 9-5 grind. Although i have degrees to Master's level and have worked in very specialist areas i loathe office life, being told what to do, having to have pointless meetings, sitting still and all for such little reward compared to dancing. I danced for ten years on and off, often whilst having a day job too and i used to say it was dancing that kept me sane.
Now i work in other similar fields - i work in music events, teach burlesque, act - to keep me sane alongside the dreadful monotony and frustration of vanilla jobs.
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Re: dancing spoiled me for the 9-5 grind. anyone relate?
Dancing spoiled me for normal jobs. Then Manhattan spoiled dancing for me. I am fucked.