-
people who make rape jokes
granted im in a super bad mood because i just got back from a horrible shift after a month off, but people on fb who make rape jokes really make me angry. some of them are my close friends. i don't want to say anything but some shit like rape, abuse, murder, cancer, or anything that causes another person pain is NOT FUNNY. i'm sorry but are you so wrapped up in your own little sheltered world that you can't maybe see that it would cause people pain? esp something like rape. so many victims don't even want to speak out, and what you are doing is silencing them further..making them feel that what happened to them was some one-liner joke you tell at bars. guess i just had to vent. i'm just seeing rape culture increasing these days instead of diminishing.
i understand that some people sometimes try and find humor in dark things that have happened to them,, but i know for a fact that this is not what's going on. i don't even think they realize how unbelievably tacky and disgusting it is to make jokes about that on social media ( or at all), but i almost feel its not my place to say anything. *sigh* idk.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
Because some people are insensitive. I find nothing funny about those. Reminds me of this psycho who made a joke about a guy who got hit by a train. Basically she was making jokes about the fact when he hit the train he scattered. What the bitch didn't know was he was a friend of mine and I found it distasteful and evil. I would never go out with a guy who thought rape was funny and yep a few sick fucks on dating sites did think it was a source of amusement.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
There is a very real difference between 'gallows humour' & being an insensitive prick. I do not even have the words to describe how mad this makes me. I see it often on WoW, ppl getting ready for a raid & making jokes abt 'lets rape this boss LOL' & it just turns my stomach. I called our guild leader out on that in the middle of a raid once, my IRL/guild buddy backed me up & we both got kicked from the guild. Not that getting kicked is much of a thing in&of itself but the sentiment behind it made me see red.
A couple of my police relatives who worked in sex crimes would talk abt 'LWBs'. Lying Whore Bitches. Women who would come in complaining of being raped, & there was even a 'point system' based on was she moaning, was she holding her stomach, had she been drinking when the 'so-called rape' took place. Then they were shocked that I waited almost 3 yrs b4 saying anything abt my own sexual assault. They always claimed these LWBs were the liars who got caught fooling around or just had 'buyers remorse' but really, how many of those women could have been telling the truth & became the butt of their sick humour :bomb: I had had two beers, w/ the person who assaulted me who had been a friend up to that point. I was nowhere near drunk, but b/c of that & the fact that my rapist was my bf's friend, I would have fit their profile of a LWB.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
omg, i've been on another site RIGHT NOW for the past hour where a dude said "In the year I've been in ___, I've been assraped with 10 fucking parking tickets." Many people took him to task and dude was NOT.GETTING.IT. or rather, not even trying to.
Even his good IRL friends were like, "Dude, we know you. You're not a bad guy. The fact that you are not seeing that this is offensive to people is disappointing. Please just stop."
And he kept going. KEPT GOING for like 37 comments. I know I've used the term before and I'm sure the dude was just typing what he would say aloud, but. JESUS MAN, once your friends start saying, "Please. We aren't attacking you. We want you to know that it's not to be taken lightly and you.aren't.getting.it.
I can't handle rape jokes. Ever. It's a very (and just generalizing here, srsly, i have to facts to back up this data, just basing on my own experiences) entitled male of white privilege kinda thing to do/say. (I know it's not a race thing. I am not trying to work up some drama) Like when Daniel Tosh heckled that one woman in his show by saying "wouldn't it be funny if [she] got raped by, like, five guys right now? Like right now?" Oh man. So much rape culture. I wish I could say things are changing for the better, but I think not.
sad face. :(
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
^^^^ I do not watch a lot of tv, didn't have one for yrs so kinda lost the habit, but WTF was that Daniel Tosh skit abt? I know the show & generally think he is funny tho sm times walks a pretty fine line. I am imagining this & would be having one of those 'brick --> tv' moments I siggied From Djoser .... Except laughing would not be one of my options.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MellyMay
Like when Daniel Tosh heckled that one woman in his show by saying "wouldn't it be funny if [she] got raped by, like, five guys right now? Like right now?" Oh man. So much rape culture. I wish I could say things are changing for the better, but I think not.
sad face. :(
That makes me sad and angry too...the Daniel Tosh comment...really nasty, not even close to being funny at all...a mean spirited and very lazy attempt to try and assert power.
I have heard a small number of jokes which involve the subject of rape but were effective as satire, essentially making fun of the rapist, of that mentality that says rape is deserved or acceptable.
I agree with Aniela though, there is a huge difference between gallows humour(which I think can be really useful in some situations) and insensitivity, or what is often just a lazy way for someone who isn't very clever or talented to try to court controversy and get noticed.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
I hate insensitive shit like this. When did this even happen, that "raped" became a synonym for getting your ass kicked in a video game? That's how I hear it most of the time.
Some of these people will change their tunes if it's pointed out to them that it's not cool to joke about. I think many just don't think about it. But some are straight up douchenozzles that don't care.
On this note, I was at a comedy club the other night and the owner got up on stage, and started making jokes about "If I was blah blah blah, I'd kill myself. I'd shoot myself in the head" and then elaborated on it for 5 minutes... and THEN moved onto how funny death by heroin overdose was. He kept staring at me because I was the only one with a stony face... because my studio owner's teenage son had killed himself by gunshot to the head that week, and I was worrying about my ex-junkie dance partner having a relapse. I guess sometimes it takes it happening to you for you to realize that shit is NOT funny.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
People use the word "rape" incorrectly, just like they use the word "gay" incorrectly, very casually and offensively as well. It's ignorant, insensitive, inappropriate and antisocial.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
yeah i agree about using " i just got ass raped" as probably pretty inappropriate, i hadn't thought of that good point! this person last night though was like " my husband said something so funny today! he said 'it isn't rape, its surprise sex!' ". idk what's worse, your husband saying that or you thinking it was funny and posting it on fb?? fucking revolting.
or " go ahead and call the cops..they can't UNrape you!" just not funny at all
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
I don't mean to bag on FB/Twitter alone, but examples like this show that nowadays, when you say something stupid/insensitive, everyone gets to see it replayed over & over. That also magnifies the collateral damage (I'd feel awful to those who've been traumatized by this if I made those comments). In the past, you could make that insensitive comment and only offend people who were there (or if it hit the gossip mill). Now, you get to offend dozens, hundreds, thousands.
I personally don't care for just how far with PC we've gotten about everything, but as always, there's common sense - those are just ignorant, ignorant, ignorant comments. It does speak to the violent society we live in that we've grown desensitized to what would have been red-flag statements 10, 20 years ago (how many times have you heard "I killed it", and I can tell you when an unfair deal happens in our sports leagues, the "ass-rape" term always comes out - things you didn't hear in the past). Unfortunately, most people who haven't had a loved one affected by sexual assault (and it's true that many probably are more affected than they realize, they just don't know about it), it just doesn't hit their radar. Hopefully it will change, but yeah, that sucks.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
im usually not that PC at all. i have a dark sense of humor and i don't take myself that seriously..but when it comes to making jokes about something like domestic violence, rape, death, etc. its not funny. i mean, even if you don't know anybody personally, there's a limit. you have to use your brain!!
and yeah, it is MUCH worse when posted on some social site where so many people can see that. who knows, you could have a friend who was sexually assaulted who know silently shuts you out because s/he knows you think its just a big joke.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aniela
^^^^ I do not watch a lot of tv, didn't have one for yrs so kinda lost the habit, but WTF was that Daniel Tosh skit abt? I know the show & generally think he is funny tho sm times walks a pretty fine line. I am imagining this & would be having one of those 'brick --> tv' moments I siggied From Djoser .... Except laughing would not be one of my options.
It was actually in his live stand up show. The woman heckled him when he began doing insenstive rape jokes (SURPRISE! victims don't find it funny. ever. and goddamn, to have paid for a ticket for it? gawd).
His way of addressing it was what I described above. He actually got a lot of support with many male comedians defending his actions, etc. Because of the bad press (not due a sincere realization it was inappropriate), he gave a super half assed apology. suuuuper half assed. I used to occassionally watch his show in the early seasons. I can't, in good conscious, contribute to his making more money. Even if I'm just one person, I can't support that.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
I can't stand rape jokes.
I encountered some fools on another forum/site that decided they didn't like me and used my rape experience/ rape jokes to purposefully get me to leave. But, it didn't work.
People who make jokes about something so insensitive are some of the lowest form of scum.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aniela
There is a very real difference between 'gallows humour' & being an insensitive prick. I do not even have the words to describe how mad this makes me. I see it often on WoW, ppl getting ready for a raid & making jokes abt 'lets rape this boss LOL' & it just turns my stomach. I called our guild leader out on that in the middle of a raid once, my IRL/guild buddy backed me up & we both got kicked from the guild. Not that getting kicked is much of a thing in&of itself but the sentiment behind it made me see red.
A couple of my police relatives who worked in sex crimes would talk abt 'LWBs'. Lying Whore Bitches. Women who would come in complaining of being raped, & there was even a 'point system' based on was she moaning, was she holding her stomach, had she been drinking when the 'so-called rape' took place. Then they were shocked that I waited almost 3 yrs b4 saying anything abt my own sexual assault. They always claimed these LWBs were the liars who got caught fooling around or just had 'buyers remorse' but really, how many of those women could have been telling the truth & became the butt of their sick humour :bomb: I had had two beers, w/ the person who assaulted me who had been a friend up to that point. I was nowhere near drunk, but b/c of that & the fact that my rapist was my bf's friend, I would have fit their profile of a LWB.
Sadly I've heard that before. Many cops (Not all)but too many judge women on that, which makes many rape victims afraid to come forward. I was raped twice (once orally)and was afraid to come forward because I knew the cops wouldn't believe me. Both men were business owners, and the oral rape occurred when I was dancing at this club known for extras (and paying off cops).
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
There's a difference between dark humor and just... being retarded.
"I got ass raped on this game"... how did the game force you to have sex? smh.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
I remember after the super bowl people were saying that Seahawks rape the Broncos. That really grinds my gears, I don't know if any of you lady saw that.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
I always thought that rape implies that the rapist is a desperate loser who can't get someone on their own so they have to force others to have sex. It says bad things about the rapist, like he's incompetent. I never understood why the victim is blamed or shamed. I guess it's because people fear getting raped themselves, so they claim that the victim must've done something to warrant it. "It can't happen to me because I do x, y, z!"
Also, are people stupid or what? When they say Seahawks rape the Broncos, that's like saying that being a rapist is a good thing. wtf?
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
There seems to be a culture of using the most offensive term possible to describe ordinary and trivial things. Byproduct of south park, jackass, tosh, memes, et'al. People think they are being funny, because the lowest common denominator get some chuckles. Not to sound like some white knight hero, I have had some slips and referred to raping people in games, which could been replaced with something like 'schooled' and made my point. I have noticed kids of a certain age group basically only find really offensive and racist trash talk funny, which is not a good sign.
I wouldn't feel bad about calling them out on it either.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
Yeah it's not coo. I once dated a guy for about four/five months, we went out for drinks with friends and he was buying the drinks for me/him. After I'd had a couple drinks he asked me "do you want another one? I'm trying to get you drunk so it'll be easier to date rape you later." He said it in a joking, flirty way but not only did it REALLY creep me out but it was just downright offensive... he went home alone that night...
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
That IS offensive, and downright stupid. Anyone with common sense would know that a possible reality is not funny. Did you tell him to fuck off?
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
I'm not condoning making rape jokes. But in very competitive industries (financial), rape jokes happen alot. Usually about how to deal with competitors:
"Let's rape these bitches".
It happens quite often. It's just the competitive nature of it.
They make borderline lurid comments whenever a reasonably attractive young cleaning girl comes to clean the office.
They also happily talk about the escorts they fuck behind their girlfriends back, the money they gambled and the amount of coke they did over the weekend. Ironically, they also talk about how all girls are disgusting and STD ridden.
There is a youtube video somewhere of Aaron Widers deposition which is just him liberally screaming the f-word at the opposing attorney. So if he's willing to do that on camera you can imagine what goes on behind closed doors.
To be honest I do find it distasteful, but that's just the way it is.
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
i realize that its reality, trust me i do, but that doesn't make it anymore right or excuse it. rape itself also happens to thousands of people everyday, but using that word like its just a cute expression and desensitizing people to it is also disgusting.
i also don't understand " oh they are getting raped out there!" or " lets rape these fuckers" like its a good thing? sex offenders are the scum of the earth and are hated by everyone, even other criminals, yet people still say rape like its a good thing!!
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rosemead
That IS offensive, and downright stupid. Anyone with common sense would know that a possible reality is not funny. Did you tell him to fuck off?
I asked him if he was serious and he was like "of course not! I'm just joking god relax you're so sensitive." I hate when people say that, it's so annoying-- I'm sensitive because I don't want my boyfriend joking about date-raping me? Ugh. He was just a total sleaze ball but really good in bed otherwise I would have dumped him a lot earlier! But yeah I hung around for another few minutes and then just left!
-
Re: people who make rape jokes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
i realize that its reality, trust me i do, but that doesn't make it anymore right or excuse it. rape itself also happens to thousands of people everyday, but using that word like its just a cute expression and desensitizing people to it is also disgusting.
i also don't understand " oh they are getting raped out there!" or " lets rape these fuckers" like its a good thing? sex offenders are the scum of the earth and are hated by everyone, even other criminals, yet people still say rape like its a good thing!!
You need to take it in context though.
If you have very young competitive guys making a lot of money, they'll make rape jokes and behave like school children. They see a joke as just a joke.
I'd take it in context, it's not how they really feel about rape.