Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Ok so maybe this is the wrong thread but I don't know where else to post this. Ok so I would say I am an attractive female with a good body but apparently most men don’t find me so. This has been going on all my life but I have come to the conclusion that men don’t like my look. I am not foreign but have a very foreign, exotic, Middle Eastern look to me which I think turns most men off. In and out of work. Sure I have made lots of money and some men absolutely love my look but most don’t and aren’t shy about it either. Especially in my personal life I have struggled the most. Most guys don’t want to date me and it doesn’t matter American guys don’t and foreign guys don’t. I have traveled and it doesn’t matter where I go either. Even overseas I have problems. I just cannot believe my look has held me back so much in life in terms of making money and finding someone. I don’t know what to do I mean I could get surgery but that won’t change the color of my skin and I can’t dye my hair because it’s naturally so black anything else would look foolish on me. I am sorry for the long post but it’s really been getting at me lately that every man wants a blonde or Latina this or that but someone who looks like me can’t get a second look outside of the strip club which is just pitiful…If anyone has some advice or know a place I can go where men would drool over please let me know ladies. Thanks for listening.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Not to sound like a jackass, but it would help if we could see your look. Most men I know enjoy the exotic looks. As far as location goes it seems like a more diverse area would work for you, closer to a bigger city where you can get a mix at clubs or where ever you decide to work. Camming may also be an option as it opens up a much larger audience.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
your chosen vocation is bound to make you very body conscious. I seriously doubt you need any kind of surgery.
you could post pictures, but the truth is that there are customers for every look, so who cares if I think you are hot or not
One thing that pictures do not show is what your natural demeanor is. By this I mean, when you are not paying attention, what does your face do?
A little story
Years ago there was a waitress at a pub I hung at. she walked around looking like the weight of the world was on her. One day she was delivering some drinks and someone said something that made her smile. Her smile literally lit up the room. I honest to god jumped at the transformation. I told her straight away what a beautiful smile she had. Totally changed my impressions of her.
Fast forward ~15 years. She got a job at a local grade school as a phys ed teacher. Lasted a year, kids thought she was mean..............never learned to use that smile
I have no way of knowing if this is the case for you.
In your personal life, I will say the same thing I always do, be fearless, worry less, find quality men and pursue them. Do not wait around for men to notice you, we are usually to stupid to recognize quality when we see it.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Body image issues Suck! The way you write about this screams lack of self confidence. If in reality, deep down, you don't think you'e pretty, that's going to vibe out there. Girls get noticed by guys. Girls with good bodies definitely get noticed by guys. Add a pretty face and you're gold. Maybe you're basing the feeling of guys not liking your looks because of the type of guy your attracted to. Or you're perceiving through very distorted glasses what you think other people see.
In any event, I would say something is off kilter. If you're not feeling confident, "act as if" you are. Once you start strutting your stuff you'll actually feel more confidence. Act beautiful and irresistible and that will come across more and more. As for exotic looks - why not go all out and adopt a very unique mix for your stripper persona? Take your basic look, add 2 or 3 different ethnic types, then throw in Finnish....
If nothing seems to help, try a therapist and make sure it's not something internal.
lol. Good luck
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
How do you know they dont like your look? or are they racists?
Considering you are in the Carolinas i would bet they are racists. If you experience enough racists they can really get you down. It can be subtle sometimes. They try to play it off as something else, when they would treat anyone with "mud in their blood" like shit. Which in turn brings down your confidence level. That lower confidence travels with you. As the old saying goes, before you start thinking you are awful, look around and see if you are are surrounded by assholes.
I am half Jordanian and half American. I grew up in Michigan. Then I moved down south and discovered racism. "you dont look like yr from around ere" "you dont look right" "i wouldnt touch a woman like you" Then when I talked back I became "uppity" "slut" etc.
Instead of focusing on the ones that dont like you and wont like you no matter what you do.... focus on the ones that do like you. Ask them why they like you, what they find attractive, if they dont say.
Maybe get outside of the race issue by becoming a character .... the rocker chick, siren, or ummm the vamp ;). It distracts them. Instead of being obsessed in their head with "omg its a arab stripper" it becomes "ooo its the dangerous vamp" lol. Yes I ham it up! Have fun. Dont let the assholes get you down.
When it comes to the personal life .... remember you just need one wonderful man to fall in love .. not all of them.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
yeah i'm gonna have to agree with maybe its your demeanor, or lack of self confidence..maybe the way you hold yourself, or the way you do your hair/makeup/clothes? where have you traveled to that men don't look like your look, besides living in the south? i have problems with self confidence too, its something i struggle with a lot
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Without more information or pics, I'm with Oldster, word for word. One of my exes is disgustingly hot. She's a nude model and photographers freak at how they never need to airbrush or photoshop her pics at all - she's just perfect. And yet, in the 4 years I've known this girl, I see her saying the same things you say here. And it's ALL about her outward body language and facial expressions, and no matter how often anyone tells her that, she doesn't get it and won't work to change it. She constantly puts off this vibe that says "insecure, mean, bitchy, and scared". The only guys that do approach her, are guys that use her and hurt her - they see her as weak and desperate despite her stunning body - and they're right. The thing is, she's one of the the sweetest, most caring people I know, and every once in a while, when it shows through - OMG, what a transformation! She LITERALLY stops traffic. Too bad it happens so seldom. :shrug:
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
This job--dancing really messes up self image. It takes some women and over inflates their egos where as they think they r hot as hell bc they r able to make good money when maybe some are just average females..Then for some women who r really hot enough men try to knock them down and women try to rip them apart to the point where they question their own looks and feel bad about themselves. This job really is negative no matter what people say..There are some good points but there are many more bad ones than good ones..Especially if u do this for a while. I think we all question our looks..Just some people wont admit it.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Thanks guys and sorry I wouldn't upload a picture but here goes I am petite (5'2"-5'3") only about 100 lbs but have nice tits and ass. Nice face and black hair and brown eyes. Some might say I resemble Kim K except the body, some say I look like I could be Haifa Wehbe (before plastic surgery, but she was still hot!) or any other Syrian. Lebanese, Moroccan popstar. Either way I know I am an attractive girl and I am very friendly I don't think the way I dress has anything to do with it as I tend to dress feminine but a sexy. I have a good attitude I will admit I am little quite but never rude right off the bat. Just lately I have been feeling a little down is all. I have been all over the Carolinas, Virginia, Texas, Georgia, Jersey, New York, and overseas to Europe and the Middle East. Everyone just wants a blonde, a Latina, a Black woman. I'm sure there has got to be somewhere for me or something.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Just from your description I am already in love, so there is hope!
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RosesForMyLove
Thanks guys and sorry I wouldn't upload a picture but here goes I am petite (5'2"-5'3") only about 100 lbs but have nice tits and ass. Nice face and black hair and brown eyes. Some might say I resemble Kim K except the body, some say I look like I could be Haifa Wehbe (before plastic surgery, but she was still hot!) or any other Syrian. Lebanese, Moroccan popstar. Either way I know I am an attractive girl and I am very friendly I don't think the way I dress has anything to do with it as I tend to dress feminine but a sexy. I have a good attitude I will admit I am little quite but never rude right off the bat. Just lately I have been feeling a little down is all. I have been all over the Carolinas, Virginia, Texas, Georgia, Jersey, New York, and overseas to Europe and the Middle East. Everyone just wants a blonde, a Latina, a Black woman. I'm sure there has got to be somewhere for me or something.
RFML - FWIW, I have met several girls of your description and they don't seem to have the same issues. That based on their amount of bank and havi ng to swat back grabby hands and phone # requests with custie repellent. I fight body image issues so I'm probably more attune with that. And racism is certainly a consideration. It is hard to pin down what's going on.
[ "...sorry I wouldn't upload a picture..." ] I think that is wise. <3
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
have you tried black clubs? black men are usually VERY accepting of non black women that other non black men dont want.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Come to PA! :D Under 200llbs with teeth would be awesome!! I'm sure you'd find plenty that want you!!
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
I agree with the black clubs and diverse clubs…but especially the black clubs! Black men generally love that exotic foreign look. You sound so beautiful. Maybe you need to find the right market for your club. But I really do believe that you just need show your confidence and let your beauty shine through.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
if you notice " blond, latina, and black girls" being popular with the crowd, then maybe you are putting too much emphasis on race and your coloring and getting hung up on that, maybe it isn't about that at all.
for the first two years that i stripped, i was so hung up on my weight, and that fact that i looked scrawny with no boobs and ass and i was CONVINCED that if could just get a nice fluffy ass and boobs that my money would triple or quadruple..well, now i've gained around 25 pounds and my money hasn't gone up. in fact,one of the girls who looked exactly like i used to look ( small and scrawny) is a top earner. i'm still trying to play around with my look and putting even more emphasis on my hustle, but what i'm saying is sometimes we are convinced that if we could only change xyz that we will be confident and beautiful.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
I was contemplating a tummy tuck but I don't want to be under for 4 weeks with a fucking girdle. I'm just going to bust my butt even more.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
I was contemplating a tummy tuck but I don't want to be under for 4 weeks with a fucking girdle. I'm just going to bust my butt even more.
I'm sure you'll look great!
OP lots o' wisdom here, hope you find your niche
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
I was contemplating a tummy tuck but I don't want to be under for 4 weeks with a fucking girdle. I'm just going to bust my butt even more.
U look amazing..No need to do anything to urself :) It may just be a waste of money. Go easy on urself.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RosesForMyLove
Ok so maybe this is the wrong thread but I don't know where else to post this. Ok so I would say I am an attractive female with a good body but apparently most men don’t find me so. This has been going on all my life but I have come to the conclusion that men don’t like my look. I am not foreign but have a very foreign, exotic, Middle Eastern look to me which I think turns most men off. In and out of work. Sure I have made lots of money and some men absolutely love my look but most don’t and aren’t shy about it either. Especially in my personal life I have struggled the most. Most guys don’t want to date me and it doesn’t matter American guys don’t and foreign guys don’t. I have traveled and it doesn’t matter where I go either. Even overseas I have problems. I just cannot believe my look has held me back so much in life in terms of making money and finding someone. I don’t know what to do I mean I could get surgery but that won’t change the color of my skin and I can’t dye my hair because it’s naturally so black anything else would look foolish on me. I am sorry for the long post but it’s really been getting at me lately that every man wants a blonde or Latina this or that but someone who looks like me can’t get a second look outside of the strip club which is just pitiful…If anyone has some advice or know a place I can go where men would drool over please let me know ladies. Thanks for listening.
Rosesformylove, I agree with Vamp....I believe that some racist men response to you in a negative way. This lower your self confidence as a woman and followed you around everywhere you go. But you should tried try dancing at a more racially diverse club where men can enjoy your look. I agree that you should also tried to create a character for yourself :) I am sure you are a beautiful girl :)
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Based on your description, I have to think this is mostly in your head. Very few customers (percentage-wise) fall ino the "blatantly racist" - or hell, even racist at all - category. Work on your approach, body language, self esteem, and especially you sales techniques. I know plenty of - well, to put it bluntly, frankly unnattractive women - who make plenty of money stripping. It's all sales.
Re: Men Don't Like My Look...Any Advice or Words of Wisdom?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Almost Jaded
Based on your description, I have to think this is mostly in your head. Very few customers (percentage-wise) fall ino the "blatantly racist" - or hell, even racist at all - category. Work on your approach, body language, self esteem, and especially you sales techniques. I know plenty of - well, to put it bluntly, frankly unnattractive women - who make plenty of money stripping. It's all sales.
Actually, I do not believe that is in her head.It is more like a racial trauma that affected her. A lot of women must deal with both sexism and racism in their lives. It can hurt the women's self-esteem if some racist prick talks their color/race/ national origin negative. It just depends on the person actually. I believe that some racist men had a negative reaction to her in her life and it followed her around.Their blatant racism turn into a creative block in her head. It effected her sales over all and self-esteem completely. She could approach customers like they will not like her because of her ethnic background. Roses needs to detox her mind of those negative thoughts and people.