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Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
I just came back from another club about 20 minutes away in Linden. The manager looked me up and down and said, "Not right now."
For a fucking shot girl position.
I nodded, shrugged and left. Almost expected it. Looks like my life is about to go way downhill from here.
I had JUST managed to move out of my parents' house using my tax return. I have a young son and I fear for his future based on my fuckups/bad luck. As soon as I moved out March 1st, my son's father lost his job, and the child support checks stopped coming. That was a big chunk of monthly income that I was going to rely upon to help me survive. I work full-time in a hotel, but the season is slow and my hours are being cut quite a bit until May or June. I can't go on food stamps or WIC for stupidly complex reasons. I've tried selling my more valuable belongings on Craigslist for weeks, but I've gotten no responses. I went to a club last week in New York, and the housemom liked my look, but not my dancing. My first and last club had no poles (under construction) and I never learned how to pole dance properly. Weeks before that, a manager in Bristol said that I was too overweight to dance in her club. I've lost weight since then, but apparently it hasn't been enough, and now I'm gun-shy about trying out other clubs.
I have no food in my fridge and no gas in my car. I'm $300 in the hole on rent due in 3 days. I'm sitting here hungry and crying right now, because it's not fucking fair. I've literally struggled for the past 5 years of my life, alone with a baby. I JUST got back on my feet and I was feeling optimistic about our future. It's audacious to think that the Universe would allow me to leave the hellish environment of my family just to throw me back in again a month later. I feel like I've failed, yet again.
If anyone has advice, I would of course be extremely grateful.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Why can't you get food assistance, esp. w/a child? Can you at least go to a food pantry? Try Catholic Charities, Salvation Army (they have rent assistance) or other charities in your area. Try to sign up for some focus groups, you try out food or other products, they pay cash usually, look on craig's under etc. jobs, or backpage..also try to get hired for food demos, or conventions, sometimes they pay cash look under event gigs. Also, passing out fliers.
Cocktail waitressing?
That's all I can think of, good luck to you.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Are you on speaking terms with your child's father? It sounds like you aren't, but if there is any chance, maybe he could help you out somehow. Even if he lost his job, maybe he could at least give you money for gas so you could go try to find another club.
Can you visit any local foodbanks? They often don't require any paperwork, will just give food.
Even though you are struggling to break free of your family, you should seek their help if it is best for your child. If you had to move home again and save up money again, it might be for the best. It's not your fault that the dad lost his job, but just do what you have to do to make sure you and your son are ok, even if you have to swallow your pride when it comes to your family.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
I would take some pole dancing classes and then go back to the club where the house mom liked you. Or try a dive bar or a lower tier club. Are you checking out the clubs beforehand and making sure that your look is right for them? Just keep trying clubs. Honestly, it's harder to get hired as a shot girl/waitress than it is as a dancer, so I would keep going to clubs and auditing as a dancer. (as a dance you pay them, as a waitress they pay you). And you have to go in there with confidence, if you already have the attitude of 'they're not gonna hire me' trust me, they won't. You could also look into caming?
If worse comes to worse I would go back with your parents, or see if they can help you somehow.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Look up Abraham Hicks Law of Attraction. I like you am a single mom. I am doing it by myself. I don't have child support, food stamps, nothing. I just decided to start dancing again to supplement my income and help me build wealth. I pay for rent, insurance, car , lights, everything by myself! I am 22. You can do this. You have to make a decision that failure is not an option. I go about my day focused on the positive because I know success is eminent. Go about your life knowing you will be successful and all will be well. You will make the money and find a club. End of story. Just make sure that you are consistent at whatever it is you choose to do. Do not sink into a void, because it's a long way down and you have someone that needs you and looks up to you. I say this with the most sincere love in my heart dear, for you failure is not an option.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audrey_k
I would take some pole dancing classes and then go back to the club where the house mom liked you. Or try a dive bar or a lower tier club. Are you checking out the clubs beforehand and making sure that your look is right for them? Just keep trying clubs. Honestly, it's harder to get hired as a shot girl/waitress than it is as a dancer, so I would keep going to clubs and auditing as a dancer. (as a dance you pay them, as a waitress they pay you). And you have to go in there with confidence, if you already have the attitude of 'they're not gonna hire me' trust me, they won't. You could also look into caming?
If worse comes to worse I would go back with your parents, or see if they can help you somehow.
This was my original plan. I found a great deal on a month's worth of pole dancing classes on Amazon Local, and I knew that the housemom at that one club would hire me once I was able to dance with more experience.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Thank you all for the wake-up-call responses. Tomorrow morning I plan to go to a food pantry down the street from me. One of my roommates pointed out to me how many resources there are like that in NYC.
The reason I can't apply for Foodstamps in NY is because if I do, the state will realize that I've moved and end my NJ childcare and healthcare benefits. I'm reluctant to remove my son from his daycare because it is right by my job (I commute to NJ every day). Without a subsidy, his childcare would be expensive; additionally, I owe the daycare money. My son has not received his immunizations yet, and we just got approved for NJ healthcare right before we moved. It all seems like a mess lol, but I'm sure things will straighten out eventually.
Thank you Athen, your post really helped me get some of my motivation back. My close friend pointed something else out, "When you were planning on going back to dancing, did you ever practice in the mirror?" I hadn't, not really--I just thought that dancing was always something that would come naturally. Well, after several years of distractions, stress, loneliness, and not having any sex at all--my body needs a reminder that I can still MOVE in a sexual way. It's like I almost forgot the most important part of all this!
I did some research and found an urban club in my area with all-black clientele and performers. I found a couple of their Youtube videos. I put my wall mirror on the floor, and practiced tonight. I started out extremely awkward and jerky, but after a while, my dancing became more fluid and more comparable to the performers in the video.
I think I have a new club that I want to audition at after at least a few more mirror routines!
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Go to every club in the area whether its white or black, you really don't have room to be picky. There are SO many club in nyc AND jersey. I refuse to believe you can't get hired SOMEWHERE. Keep your head up and keep trying. Go from club to club. Don't stop till one hires you, then work that night and the next day, too. Good luck.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
^Yep, just make a list of 25+ clubs, start early and hit as many as you can in one night until you get hired!
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Figure out which ones have day shift and go in during the day. Maybe they would be more inclined to higher you on dayshift to start out if you're not really up to their hiring standards. Again, you don't have room to be picky. Day shift would only be temporary.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
Everyone hit on the points that sprang to my mind so I'll add that you can get rental assistance and legal assistance in Jersey. http://lsnj.org/cjls/ Your landlord cannot evict immediately. With grants to pay your rent for you and legal help to defend you you can get extra time to pay or move if it comes to that. April 1st isn't a hard deadline just a soft one. From personal experience I'd recommend you audition at Curves in Staten Island on Arthur Kill rd. Great money there and they tend to be easy instead of picky in their hiring. Try Nardone's and Jersey Girls in Elizabeth, again they are pretty easygoing in their hiring. Those are the only ones in your area I've been to but there are more in Newark and their suburbs Irvington and Orange too. Wet in Belleville is promising, Clancys in Bloomfield is an easygoing gold mine with very laid back guys. You can always pop over to Paterson/Passaic area. Lots of clubs to choose from! Here's the directory on Strip Club List http://www.stripclublist.com/y.asp?s=NJ&sort=A You should be able to make at least $200 and up a night, more in the nicer places. Rejection is unpleasant but the lucky thing about your situation is that your area has a ton of clubs so there are a ton of chances to get that 'Yes
This is off topic but have you thought about camming on the side? Check out Camming Connection forum and see if that would interest you. You could work out of your home for a bit and see if it's a good fit for you.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
One of your best weapons in club searching is being " Female" I would go on youtube. look at some makeup tutorials. Get your face and hair done up. I would go apply as a dancer. Because you need the money period. No ones going to have you adn your sons back like you can.
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
i'm a single mom too ( or was for awhile) and somebody said something to me that really helped me out , " the world is not going to be fair. the universe is under no obligation to make sense to you. you are not owed anything. so pick yourself up, be grateful it wasn't worse, and take what you want because life isn't going to just give it to you". it sounds harsh, but it really got my ass motivated because i was prone to self pity a lot and moping around.
so get yourself all dolled up and go apply again! and, like hustling a customer, know that you are a sexy bitch and assume the sale! you gotta be strong for your son and yourself! so go get em :)
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
if you live in NYC why are you limiting yourself to dancing or clubs?
you should be able to get a job SOMEWHERE, doing SOMETHING,
sounds like you don't have time to be picky
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
^^ NYC is an incredibly difficult city to survive in today. There are too many people and not enough jobs. A lot depends on the area you live in because you have to consider travel times and overhead costs like having to cross a bridge or a tunnel. It's actually a lot easier and faster to get a job in a club, and start right away without waiting for interviews, paperwork, background checks, etc. Clubs in NYC are not easy to work in either, but at least there's money to be made without waiting.
OP, good luck to you. There are many clubs here indeed, you will definitely get hired somewhere!
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
And please, sooner rather than later, transfer any benefits to the state you are living in, or it'll come back to bite you in the end when you file taxes next year. (and yes, you *must* file taxes if you've made over $600. for the year)
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Re: Rejected three times from three clubs. No $$, cannot pay rent. Advice?
I just sent you a PM with two clubs you can definitely start working at right away. One is a good mid tier starter club and the other is a good beginner urban club.
Please don't get discouraged. I experienced so much rejection when I first came to New York. I thought I would never find a club. Hold out on the pole dancing classes. Don't spend the money yet, trust me.
And don't dwell on those clubs that rejected you. Dancing will tone you up and you'll lose the weight and get better at it and soon they'll be begging you to come work for them. I lost 40 pounds and became a blonde and now can pick wherever the hell I want to work. It'll be tough at first, but the pay off is worth it. Good luck. PM if you need anything