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Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
I explained a little bit in "The general camming SUCKS right now forum" that last night my bf explained that he hates what I do and wants me to stop. I wanted to create a new thread as to explain everything and not thread jack, though I know there are a few like this I wanted to explain my story a bit more as I don't really have any one to talk to.
First off I want to say I am so grateful for all of your ladies wonderful support.
This man backed me up and paid all the bills when I left my first and second vanilla job - I needed money fast and that's why I got into webcamming. Not only for the money but because I knew I would really enjoy it. The reason I left my vanilla job is why I am so adverse to getting another. I was overworked, underpaid and heavily depressed. I went on a huge booze binge because I could only deal with work by being drunk nearly 24/7. I think I deal with more pervs irl than camming ><. The other reason is because there are 5 men in this small city who raped me when I was 12-14 and whenever I saw them in my work I HAD to serve them. If I lived else where I MIGHT be more on board with going back to vanilla, however going to work every morning looking over my shoulder and having anxiety attacks every day about the fairly likely possibility I'll have to not only see them but talk to them and do something for them makes me physically sick.
We live together and it's been a year since we started dating. I'm only 20 but this is not my longest relationship or the first time I've lived with a partner before. In September one of his friends came from out of town to stay on our couch till he got a place of his own, only, he never did. I was very adverse to this before and after I started camming because we live in a one bdr apartment and I get anxious being around people I don't know that well. I protested a few times but always got shut down because it's his best friend. Of course I'd never want to put him in a situation where he had no where to go but was very peeved when a couple months turned into 10. But I still dealt with it because it's just the way things are.
When I got into camming the money wasn't quite where I needed it to be and at first it was just an in between jobs thing. My boyfriend expressed that he wasn't happy with the little I was making so I pushed myself and have just gotten to a fairly stable point money wise. I finally got to the point where I have enough to get by just from camming. I noticed the past few days he's been...off. Distant and quiet and slightly irritable. I finally pressed him last night and asked him to tell me everything that was on his mind and I'd be calm about it. He doesn't like me getting naked for other men for money, he doesn't like me being home all the time, he doesn't like lying to his friends and family about what I do and he feels it's made our relationship boring (?). He said do whatever makes you happy, but if you keep doing it you're disregarding my feelings which means you blatantly don't care about how I feel and it will effect and possibly end our relationship. He works hard every day and makes a ton of money but is clearly stuck in a routine - for which I feel he blames me for working at home. No idea how that works but okay. The one thing that particularly urks me is he's watched me work and he's wanked to it as well as watched me from behind the cam and fucked me after. If you hate it so much why do you insist we fuck after almost every shift...?
Anyhow, sorry for the long post haha! I really needed to let all of this out and again don't really have any where to do so. The only good thing that can come about a vanilla job is the fact I wouldn't have to lie to family, it would apparently make him happy and the income even though lesser would be consistent. The good thing about staying with camming is, well, you already know all that. I'm weighing out my options and trying to find a solid solution where we both get what we want but I'm not certain how agreeing he will be.
Any advice, experiences and opinions you may have would be greatly appreciated - I encourage you to be as blunt as you like. One other thing...does it sound like I have a controlling man on my hands? Our conversation last night has made me look back on things and wonder if that's what I am currently dealing with.
Thank you all so much, you're all amazing! xo
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
He's not being honest with you. First it was about how low your earnings were, now it's about you stripping down for other men, spending all your time at home, forcing him to lie about what you do. You, you, you. See the theme here? He's making it all about you, and not about him and his feelings. And obviously there are some major insecurities there - guys who are 100% okay with camming will simply not insist on taking you to bed every time you wrap up a shift.
Here's the deal: you have the right to do the work you want to do and become financially secure. You have the right to do it without being put at the mercy of your rapists. You have the right to feel good about yourself for doing it.
His feelings matter, too, but unless he starts talking more about his feelings and less about how you're ruining everything, you won't be able to address them. Don't let him hide behind excuses.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
all i see here is him doing whatever-the-fuck he wants ( like having his friend live in your house,even though you are uncomfortable), and him expecting you to bend to every little thing..and if you don't, you "don't care about his feelings", yet does he not have a problem with you having to be around your rapists on a daily basis? you feeling safe? yet another guy who is putting his tiny little ego before your happiness and needs. somebody who really loves you will put your happiness and safety first, above their own insecurities and pride..its putting you before themselves. i don't see this kind of love here from what you are describing.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
First of all, why aren't your rapists in jail????!!!!
I really don't know what to say except for the fact that your boyfriend doesn't care about you. People who love and care about you don't treat you badly. This is not a healthy nor loving relationship. The good thing is, you are making money and I am sure you can support yourself without him. If you can't afford it on your own then get yourself a roommate. The options are endless. When you want better for yourself, life will open up for you!
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Get out now. You should get your own place or get a roomie. This guy is insecure,hates his job and is trying to manipulate the situation to make it seem like this is all your fault. People who don't work from home always think its so damn easy, but have they done it? He sounds controlling and not good for you, girl. Fuck this guy. If he knows about your past and how you live near the people who hurt you...and he still wants you to put yourself at risk at your old job. No just no. Don't do it girl. Make your own future!
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sabihah
He's not being honest with you. First it was about how low your earnings were, now it's about you stripping down for other men, spending all your time at home, forcing him to lie about what you do. You, you, you. See the theme here? He's making it all about you, and not about him and his feelings. And obviously there are some major insecurities there - guys who are 100% okay with camming will simply not insist on taking you to bed every time you wrap up a shift.
Here's the deal: you have the right to do the work you want to do and become financially secure. You have the right to do it without being put at the mercy of your rapists. You have the right to feel good about yourself for doing it.
His feelings matter, too, but unless he starts talking more about his feelings and less about how you're ruining everything, you won't be able to address them. Don't let him hide behind excuses.
Very good responses in this thread already, but this post stuck out to me b/c I think it lists the points EXACTLY as you should explain them to him. This is what I gather from what you have written abt him:
- He finds it more acceptable for you to be stuck in a piss-paying job, having to serve your rapists (as in serve them again if he really thinks abt it) than for you to work in the safety of your own home.
- Your discomfort was apparently of no concern when he brought his mate over to stay for what turned into an indefinite amt of time. I have had personal exp w/ this, I would smack your bf up the street & back for this out of principle. I had a 1br w/ my bf at the time & he told -- not asked, but told -- me that his bff was going to come stay w/ us for the summer. Said bff had extreme social anxiety, no job, was not going to school, had no skills, slept 14 hrs a day & spent the rest of the time playing video games & complaining that he was bored & hungry. I was told if I didn't like it I could go sm where else, & it was my name on the lease, not his mate's. Your bf sounds a lot like my ex re: his disregard for your thoughts on your own living arrangements.
- He has reaped both physical & financial benefit from your camming, but *cue outraged Cartman voice* Camming Is WRONG! B/c you are doing it for other guys. I would bet all of my income from last wk that you are not the only camgirl he has wanked to. That right there is fk'd up if he is really as against camming as he is claiming.
So to summarise, he is abt his own feelings, his own desires, his own image (appearing 'in charge' to his friends i.e. the best-friend situation, bitching abt having to lie abt your job) & you are just. not. getting it. & you won't, b/c he is so wrapped up in his own shit that he cannot see past it to your shit(camming is not only lucrative, but SAFE) or your combined shit(How do WE find a way to work this out for US?).
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Sabihah and Simone are right. Also I'm so sorry for what happened to you when you were younger. I know your pain. I had to deal with mine most of my life because they we're a family friend. I stayed silent for many years. I know that pain for being the same room as them and having to interact with them.
I want to hug you so bad.
I honestly would end this relationship. Don't take what I'm about to say patronizing, but you are 20. You have so much life left. You must ask yourself is this a partner you want to spend your life with? Someone who will put his needs first before considering his partners? When my cousin moved in with my husband and I's one bedroom it was two months before he asked please we need to get her out of there. I was sad to put my cousin out, but I understood. She was taking up space in the small place we already had and I was glad to help her with in her time of need.
What I would do girl, is start saving you money in case things go sour.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
To be blunt, honey is being selfish (friend living with you you almost a year) and self-centered(all his reasons for not linking camming are about him) I also doubt he is being honest about his true feeling on camming.
You can do better, than this guy, you DESERVE better than this guy.
As to him having supported you in the past, it doesn't matter that's what a relationship is about, you don't owe him for that.
In short you move on to someone and some place better, he can go kick rocks.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Marina Starr
First of all, why aren't your rapists in jail????!!!!
From my experience, I kept quiet because I was ashamed. It took me 13 years to speak up. I was scared what my family would think or if they would believe me. I know that sounds stupid, but our society puts blame on the victims. We are told to not walk alone at night, say no, fight off, and my favorite, dress appropriately. Instead of teaching people why you should not rape or sexually assault. Also to speak up and it isn't your fault.
Sorry about a little derail.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
http://youtu.be/egMeWiGb7YE. Tell him to kick rocks!!!
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zillah_
I explained a little bit in "The general camming SUCKS right now forum" that last night my bf explained that he hates what I do and wants me to stop. I wanted to create a new thread as to explain everything and not thread jack, though I know there are a few like this I wanted to explain my story a bit more as I don't really have any one to talk to.
First off I want to say I am so grateful for all of your ladies wonderful support.
This man backed me up and paid all the bills when I left my first and second vanilla job - I needed money fast and that's why I got into webcamming. Not only for the money but because I knew I would really enjoy it. The reason I left my vanilla job is why I am so adverse to getting another. I was overworked, underpaid and heavily depressed. I went on a huge booze binge because I could only deal with work by being drunk nearly 24/7. I think I deal with more pervs irl than camming ><. The other reason is because there are 5 men in this small city who raped me when I was 12-14 and whenever I saw them in my work I HAD to serve them. If I lived else where I MIGHT be more on board with going back to vanilla, however going to work every morning looking over my shoulder and having anxiety attacks every day about the fairly likely possibility I'll have to not only see them but talk to them and do something for them makes me physically sick.
We live together and it's been a year since we started dating. I'm only 20 but this is not my longest relationship or the first time I've lived with a partner before. In September one of his friends came from out of town to stay on our couch till he got a place of his own, only, he never did. I was very adverse to this before and after I started camming because we live in a one bdr apartment and I get anxious being around people I don't know that well. I protested a few times but always got shut down because it's his best friend. Of course I'd never want to put him in a situation where he had no where to go but was very peeved when a couple months turned into 10. But I still dealt with it because it's just the way things are.
When I got into camming the money wasn't quite where I needed it to be and at first it was just an in between jobs thing. My boyfriend expressed that he wasn't happy with the little I was making so I pushed myself and have just gotten to a fairly stable point money wise. I finally got to the point where I have enough to get by just from camming. I noticed the past few days he's been...off. Distant and quiet and slightly irritable. I finally pressed him last night and asked him to tell me everything that was on his mind and I'd be calm about it. He doesn't like me getting naked for other men for money, he doesn't like me being home all the time, he doesn't like lying to his friends and family about what I do and he feels it's made our relationship boring (?). He said do whatever makes you happy, but if you keep doing it you're disregarding my feelings which means you blatantly don't care about how I feel and it will effect and possibly end our relationship. He works hard every day and makes a ton of money but is clearly stuck in a routine - for which I feel he blames me for working at home. No idea how that works but okay. The one thing that particularly urks me is he's watched me work and he's wanked to it as well as watched me from behind the cam and fucked me after. If you hate it so much why do you insist we fuck after almost every shift...?
Anyhow, sorry for the long post haha! I really needed to let all of this out and again don't really have any where to do so. The only good thing that can come about a vanilla job is the fact I wouldn't have to lie to family, it would apparently make him happy and the income even though lesser would be consistent. The good thing about staying with camming is, well, you already know all that. I'm weighing out my options and trying to find a solid solution where we both get what we want but I'm not certain how agreeing he will be.
Any advice, experiences and opinions you may have would be greatly appreciated - I encourage you to be as blunt as you like. One other thing...does it sound like I have a controlling man on my hands? Our conversation last night has made me look back on things and wonder if that's what I am currently dealing with.
Thank you all so much, you're all amazing! xo
You already know what you need to do.
Now you just need to find the strength inside you to do it.
It won't be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
"...and then a hero comes a long, with the strength to carry on. And you cast your fears aside, because you know you can survive..."http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t...psde5e312f.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justanothercamgirl
You already know what you need to do.
Now you just need to find the strength inside you to do it.
It won't be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
I am sorry for what you've had to endure. I hope my question didn't come across as insensitive because that was not my intention. I was just shocked and appalled that rapists are still running free. When a woman gets rapped or sexually assaulted, often times you'll see a lot of 'what was she wearing? what time was it?" Fuck all of that. I want to give you and the OP a big hug!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audritwo
From my experience, I kept quiet because I was ashamed. It took me 13 years to speak up. I was scared what my family would think or if they would believe me. I know that sounds stupid, but our society puts blame on the victims. We are told to not walk alone at night, say no, fight off, and my favorite, dress appropriately. Instead of teaching people why you should not rape or sexually assault. Also to speak up and it isn't your fault.
Sorry about a little derail.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Slight derail, but on topic:
These loser boyfriend posts make me so sad, there are so many of them. I hope you ladies find the strength to leave these assholes.
Women are conditioned to be nice and to accommodate everyone but ourselves. Fuck that.
There are better men out there, I promise. But even if I hadn't found one...honestly I would rather die alone with 17 cats and my Doctor Who dvds than deal with some tiny man trying to feel big by dragging me down.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zillah_
If I lived else where I MIGHT be more on board with going back to vanilla, however going to work every morning looking over my shoulder and having anxiety attacks every day about the fairly likely possibility I'll have to not only see them but talk to them and do something for them makes me physically sick.
I get anxious being around people I don't know that well........
He doesn't like me getting naked for other men for money, he doesn't like me being home all the time, he doesn't like lying to his friends and family about what I do and he feels it's made our relationship boring (?). He said do whatever makes you happy, but if you keep doing it you're disregarding my feelings which means you blatantly don't care about how I feel and it will effect and possibly end our relationship. He works hard every day and makes a ton of money but is clearly stuck in a routine - for which I feel he blames me for working at home. No idea how that works but okay. The one thing that particularly urks me is he's watched me work and he's wanked to it as well as watched me from behind the cam and fucked me after. If you hate it so much why do you insist we fuck after almost every shift...?
Any advice, experiences and opinions you may have would be greatly appreciated - I encourage you to be as blunt as you like. One other thing...does it sound like I have a controlling man on my hands? Our conversation last night has made me look back on things and wonder if that's what I am currently dealing with.
Thank you all so much, you're all amazing! xo
My apologies for chopping your quote. There are some things that jump out and I wanted to highlight them for you. These are major life issues, two of them that I can see. Please look a little deeper. http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/liebowitz/ I'm not saying this is what you have, but please do take your time, consider the feelings you have in each moment, and answer honestly. Whatever the result, there's something going on here that needs your attention. Please don't allow whatever is happening in your psyche to continue to grow and set it's roots too deep. Take the money you have and take care of it now, with or without his offer, take care of yourself.. If nothing else, take care of your mind.
The second issue I see is, I'm bound to disagree with the women who say this man is controlling or whatever other negative perception there is to be made about a man who doesn't like other men digging his woman. This part of your post is a fact of life that you will encounter over and over and over again. It's just one of the many examples of how men and women differ. It's never going to go away. It's never going to change. We think they are hypocrites at times as they do us. We think we have to cater to their ego at times as they do us. They are wired one way, we are wired another. What we do in life is learn to make compromises based on what works for us. Don't dismiss his feelings. Don't dismiss yours. My opinion on this, first and foremost, he is in touch with his emotions and he is willing to share them with you. That's important. He also is a marriage minded male and although he may not have said it yet, this, "situation" you have is the equivalent of, "the talk". He's looking at your future together and is bringing up some valid points. You may or may not agree with those points but consider them wisely because the points he is bringing up will determine the outcome of your relationship. Think hard about that.
My opinion? Just as we consider the male ego while we are "on stage", we also need to consider the male ego when we are off stage. His reaction is a normal reaction. He loves you, he has an ego and he seems mindful of traditional relationships. He does care. He cares very much. For some women this is the opportunity of a lifetime. For others, not so much. The question is, are you ready to take your relationship to the next level and are you willing to make compromises? He's asking you if you can meet him in the middle. It's not unheard of for a man to not want the love of his life to be sharing what only the two of you share in private. It's a fact of life and is a separate issue from the issue of you staying at home.
Do you understand why he doesn't like you spending so much time at home? Do you understand why he doesn't like you spending so much time alone? Have you asked? The other question is, in the spirit of compromises, have you considered alternatives for stay at home work and making a career out of some other passion in your life other than sex? Have you considered going to school and making a career out of some other passion in your life other than sex? Would you be willing to do so? Could you be happy?
And last. Yes, it seems hypocritical of him to be standing behind you watching but saying at the same time he doesn't like seeing you perform. You excite him. This is a good thing. His ego is a bit mucky because the same thing you are doing to excite him is the same thing you are doing to excite other men. He has an emotional connection to you and he's not making the emotional separation between what goes on between the two of you, what's special between the two of you, and the same actions being repeated with other men. His sex is tied to love. He's no longer looking at your sexuality in an objective manner. I don't believe this is an issue of control. I believe it's a conflict he is having in seeing the woman he loves treat something special to him as a commodity. His opinion of you, your career and source of income has changed because, as stated, he's taking you and your relationship seriously. He is not making the emotional disconnect between love and sex. Some women might actually hop at this kind of guy. Just my opinion.
Whatever you do, don't ever be accusatory in this situation and try not to see it as a conflict. Instead, look at it as an opportunity to look deeper into the reasons behind we do the things we do and allow there to be an understanding.
Would I make compromises for this man you describe? You bet! In reading between the lines, he sounds like a keeper.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
I don't like how he brought it up. It sounds like he's jealous that you make good money by just sitting at home (as he sees it), whereas he has to "bust his ass" to make a living. He's probably resentful for that, and "ashamed" to tell his family and friends what you do. Which is silly, but I think that's what it is.
I understand some guys aren't comfortable with it. That's cool. But I think he's uncomfortable just because he's jealous (of your money), and went about it in the wrong way.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rhiiannon
I don't like how he brought it up. It sounds like he's jealous that you make good money by just sitting at home (as he sees it), whereas he has to "bust his ass" to make a living. He's probably resentful for that, and "ashamed" to tell his family and friends what you do. Which is silly, but I think that's what it is.
I understand some guys aren't comfortable with it. That's cool. But I think he's uncomfortable just because he's jealous (of your money), and went about it in the wrong way.
I disagree. I don't think this is an issue of money. I believe he has recognized he is in love, he is taking his relationship seriously, is thinking about permanence, is evaluating and making decisions for his future.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
I meant to include this in my post but got sidetracked. (It must be love lol)
In what capacity is the best friend staying in the apartment? What comes to mind is, "relationships may come and go but best friends are forever". Is the best friend there because he's hit hard times and is in genuine need of help? Never mind family, we all know that doesn't always pan out. Is the best friend there acting as support during a major life decision? There's a reason he is there. What is it?
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Please correct me if I misread but he is not in love. He may love himself too much but certainly is not in love. A man who's in love with a woman wouldn't treat her badly. He would make her feel good!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Airrrie
I disagree. I don't think this is an issue of money. I believe he has recognized he is in love, he is taking his relationship seriously, is thinking about permanence, is evaluating and making decisions for his future.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
I'm backing up everything these ladies are saying. He is your first long -term relationship, but I doubt he will be your last. You are so young, you need to know what it is to be in a healthy, supportive relationship. I'm concerned about when you say he wants to have sex after almost every shift. What about you, are you just as horny and want to also? Or are you only giving in to keep the peace and to stroke his ego?
I was married in my 20's to a man I thought "loved" me. Looking back, I wasn't ready for that type of committment at that age. I regretted marrying him only a few months after the wedding.. He wanted to have sex every night before bed, even moreso after I was officially "His". It because so routine that it wasn't even pleasurable. I grew to despise him. If you feel controlled, depressed, verbally made to feel ashamed of what you do, you are not in a healthy relationship. I got out. Now I am remarried to a man who knew about my past when we married. I dont' think he realized how much that could affect someone, but we have somethign special and he never forces himself on me. If you want to leave, dont' be afraid to leave..It sounds like you just need to get out of that town altogether and start fresh. Good luck.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Airrrie
The second issue I see is, I'm bound to disagree with the women who say this man is controlling or whatever other negative perception there is to be made about a man who doesn't like other men digging his woman. This part of your post is a fact of life that you will encounter over and over and over again. It's just one of the many examples of how men and women differ. It's never going to go away. It's never going to change.
I respect your right to your own opinion, but I must disagree with this broad sweeping statement. I've been with many men who have no problem with other man 'digging his woman.' I also know many other women who have had this same experience.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
I am known for giving too much credit where it isn't deserved and being gullible which is why I always ask questions. Lots of questions. When I'm not asking questions I'm listening. If you let a person talk enough the truth will be revealed soon enough. Body language and voice intonations are something I no longer ignore either. I'm still an eternal optimist, I would like to think I make much better decisions today than yesterday.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Airrrie
I am known for giving too much credit where it isn't deserved and being gullible which is why I always ask questions. Lots of questions. When I'm not asking questions I'm listening. If you let a person talk enough the truth will be revealed soon enough. Body language and voice intonations are something I no longer ignore either. I'm still an eternal optimist, I would like to think I make much better decisions today than yesterday.
I am with you on the 'false assumptions are easily made and it is best to make a major decision with all the information you possible can' point.
Where we differ is the 'Men are wired in a way that naturally makes them jealous and want to control you' point.
I am an eternal optimist too --- which is why I think men as a whole are way better than that assumption. It is disrespectful to men to say that they can't feel jealousy without being controlling. Men are just as smart and rational as women. They have the cognitive ability to step back from what they feel and logically analyze their own behavior so it makes no sense to give them a free pass to be able to act badly because 'they are wired' that way in my mind.
Hopefully that makes sense.
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Re: Another Boyfriend vs Webcam Situation..(seeking to vent and advice)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justanothercamgirl
I am with you on the 'false assumptions are easily made and it is best to make a major decision with all the information you possible can' point.
Where we differ is the 'Men are wired in a way that naturally makes them jealous and want to control you' point.
I am an eternal optimist too --- which is why I think men as a whole are way better than that assumption. It is disrespectful to men to say that they can't feel jealousy without being controlling. Men are just as smart and rational as women. They have the cognitive ability to step back from what they feel and logically analyze their own behavior so it makes no sense to give them a free pass to be able to act badly because 'they are wired' that way in my mind.
Hopefully that makes sense.
See I kind of wish I could be more like you but then I'm afraid to be more like you. Each points of view have their negative and positive qualities. One may be a bit more of a doormat while the other never lets anyone cross the pane. It's sorta like guilty before innocent vs innocent before guilty. We are arriving at the same point just starting from different directions. We should blend and be one person! :)