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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
laurielegs
Anxiety is tough. Sometimes I deal with it by just getting on for 10 minutes, and usually once I get started I can keep going.
I literally can't just force myself. My panic attacks are visually very violent and I'm scared someone will record me before I can control my body just enough to turn off the stream.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
seicento
It's anxiety.Look into cognitive behavioral therapy or read some of the Albert Ellis books.That should help u understand why you feel that way and how to controll it.
Thanks seicento. I'll look into those books because I don't see my therapist enough for cbt.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sonikku
I literally can't just force myself. My panic attacks are visually very violent and I'm scared someone will record me before I can control my body just enough to turn off the stream.
Thanks seicento. I'll look into those books because I don't see my therapist enough for cbt.
Start with "How to controll your anxiety before it controlls you" and then everything he wrote about rational emotive behavior.My therapist asked me to read these and if it's helping me ,one who's dealing with severe anxiety and panic attacks they should help you too.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
seicento
It's anxiety.Look into cognitive behavioral therapy or read some of the Albert Ellis books.That should help u understand why you feel that way and how to controll it.
I must admit that I've never found Albert Ellis' techniques to be very helpful to me.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sonikku
I literally can't just force myself. My panic attacks are visually very violent and I'm scared someone will record me before I can control my body just enough to turn off the stream.
What I do is try to start with the tiniest goal possible and work from there depending on how I feel. I also will try to problem storm as many backup plans for 'worse-case scenarios.'
An example of the tiniest goal is that I would get ready to get on cam and then login the site I am using without streaming at all. I would then give myself time to figure out how my anxiety is feeling before trying to move on to the next step. There will be days where you will be unable to do more then sit in front of your computer and not stream.....and that is okay. The important thing is to figure out how you are feeling emotionally and how hard to push.
An example of a 'worst case scenario' plan is that if you are afraid your panic attack will get on top of you there are many things that you can do to try and make the situation easier for you. Some examples off the top of my head are: (1) Figure out something you can quickly cover your camera with if things go bad. (2) Have your computer plugged into a nearby extension cord so you can just yank it apart to shut it down. I am not saying that these are great ideas as everyone's panic attacks are different but if you can accept the fact that you will have a panic attack and come up with ways to make it easier to live around them when it happens then it makes it much easier to get on your cam.
I've had a severe anxiety disorder for the majority of my life so my heart goes out to you on this. Living with anxiety isn't easy, for sure.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/d917916de...5zfdo1_400.gif
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justanothercamgirl
What I do is try to start with the tiniest goal possible and work from there depending on how I feel. I also will try to problem storm as many backup plans for 'worse-case scenarios.'
An example of the tiniest goal is that I would get ready to get on cam and then login the site I am using without streaming at all. I would then give myself time to figure out how my anxiety is feeling before trying to move on to the next step. There will be days where you will be unable to do more then sit in front of your computer and not stream.....and that is okay. The important thing is to figure out how you are feeling emotionally and how hard to push.
An example of a 'worst case scenario' plan is that if you are afraid your panic attack will get on top of you there are many things that you can do to try and make the situation easier for you. Some examples off the top of my head are: (1) Figure out something you can quickly cover your camera with if things go bad. (2) Have your computer plugged into a nearby extension cord so you can just yank it apart to shut it down. I am not saying that these are great ideas as everyone's panic attacks are different but if you can accept the fact that you will have a panic attack and come up with ways to make it easier to live around them when it happens then it makes it much easier to get on your cam.
I've had a severe anxiety disorder for the majority of my life so my heart goes out to you on this. Living with anxiety isn't easy, for sure.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/d917916de...5zfdo1_400.gif
This is probably the best advice I could have ever received. It gives me a really thorough work-through plan that I actually think I can manage going through.
Thank you so much.
Also, my boyfriend may have pinpointed one the main problem.
I overwork myself.
I literally have been feeling like I have to constantly be productive, with usually my art/crafts... so I've only been doing that.
I was a pretty hardcore gamer before I lost all my gaming friends and just kinda stopped altogether.
I suffer from two extremes in this situation:
1. When I game too much and don't get anything done.
2. I don't game at all and I'm always working on something job-related.
The sweet median is when I actually game on a daily basis and work as well. He said when I was gaming regularly, and not excessively, is when I made the most money and was more consistent about work.
I feel like I'm the biggest asshole when I'm playing competitive games, but that actually boosted my confidence too, it wasn't just a distraction.
I've said before in another thread that I have more confidence to anything gaming-related, even if it means streaming on Twitch, than I do with camming.
That night I posted here, I actually was trying to convince myself to play a game to relax my nerves and strengthen my backbone before I went on cam, but at the time I thought I was already stalling enough and it wasn't necessary.
I think the breaking point for me was when I was getting a lot of orders and custom work that I actually didn't have time to game. That's when I freaked out and everything went down the toilet.
Maybe he (my boyfriend) has a point. I'm sure he does.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Hey ladies...
So last night my anemia got me good and I ended up with a horrible headache and nausea, along with a dizzy spell. This plus anxiety has kept me offline for a couple of days and I need to get back to it. My main plan is to have some food, take my iron, and get ready so I can force myself on. Also, I have back problems and leg pain from a car accident I was in last year, so I will be trying some new things to see if I can alleviate some of it.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sonikku
Maybe he (my boyfriend) has a point. I'm sure he does.
We all need downtime.
I've noticed when I don't take my downtime willingly that my body will make me sick enough and I will procrastinate enough that it will end up forcing me to take downtime anyway.
It is something I struggle with for sure. The embarrassment that having a mental illness makes me 'less effective' when it comes to 'being an adult' in many ways so I always end up trying to overcompensate and then burning myself out.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
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Originally Posted by
justanothercamgirl
We all need downtime.
I've noticed when I don't take my downtime willingly that my body will make me sick enough and I will procrastinate enough that it will end up forcing me to take downtime anyway.
It is something I struggle with for sure. The embarrassment that having a mental illness makes me 'less effective' when it comes to 'being an adult' in many ways so I always end up trying to overcompensate and then burning myself out.
Sounds just like my struggle.
I don't know how many times I've had a major freakout because I realized, once again, that I'm actually an adult and I have to do things and be responsible.
It's terrifying when I REALLY think about it.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
This seemed like the best thread to post this in, but feel free to tell me if it's not the place.
I have bad depression and anxiety, the latter of which can often make me procrastinate getting on cam, though I'm generally fine once I actually get online. But the Streamate issues of the past week paired with what I was sure were the beginnings of a UTI (caused by a jelly toy which I always used condoms with except for that ONE TIME) caused me to give myself more days off, which in turn gave me a lot of anxiety about money. I've been a wreck this week and feel like it's mostly my own fault. Of course, now things are better on Streamate (or so I hear - I haven't been able to successfully get online since Sunday, though I tried last night) and one of my regulars bought me a body safe 100% silicone dildo that I really wanted, which meant I was able to dispose of the awful crystal jelly. So of course, I want to get on cam and make up for lost time, but this morning I woke up and my kidneys were really hurting. I'd been trying to take care of my UTI with cranberry juice and lots of water and home remedies, but I knew I had to go to a doctor. So I checked my health insurance (which was through a university I've since dropped out of) - it expired five days ago. And because of my camming income which puts me just barely above the poverty line, the local sliding scale clinic won't accept me at a discount.
Long story short, I just got back from the emergency room (simply to get antibiotics before my kidney infection spread) and I'm going to be looking at a gigantic bill in my mailbox soon due to being uninsured (I have an appointment Friday to discuss insurance options moving forward, but it won't apply to this), and of course, on top of that, I'm not allowed to have sex or put anything inside myself for five days. No camming.
Thankfully my ELM has been picking up and I have a couple escrows for videos that'll pull between $10-15 each, and I put a couple clips up on ELM/MV today but that's nothing compared to the $100+ I could make in 2-3 hours on Streamate. And of course I forgot to mark myself as unavailable on NiteFlirt and got my first call WHILE SITTING IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM, so I couldn't take it (messaged the guy an apology + 3 free mins and an invitation to try again another time.)
Basically I'm just stressed right now and scared because I lost my new model status on SM within the last week, and I'm worried that taking 7 or 8 days off in a row will really hurt my traffic. I have all five stars and am in over 800 favorites lists and generally do pretty well, but will that still be true after all this? Anxiety kicking in real hard. I just want to be back on cam.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
I know it sucks but you need to take those five days to rest, or your body may get worse and force you to take longer time off. It fucking sucks, but you have to do what's best for you. Maybe you could try camming without insertion shows, but don't push yourself.
I hope everything clears up soon.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
The problems on SM lately aggravated my back pain due to high stress level, i dont wanna take pain killers anymore cause they damaged my stomach, i swear i had nightmares about SM, anxiety & feeling weak from the heat & nerve consuming. I am better already, weather got cooler, i can function a lot better now. Wish u all good health babes & i feel for u the ones who suffer, Hugs!
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RamonaRamone
This seemed like the best thread to post this in, but feel free to tell me if it's not the place.
I have bad depression and anxiety, the latter of which can often make me procrastinate getting on cam, though I'm generally fine once I actually get online. But the Streamate issues of the past week paired with what I was sure were the beginnings of a UTI (caused by a jelly toy which I always used condoms with except for that ONE TIME) caused me to give myself more days off, which in turn gave me a lot of anxiety about money. I've been a wreck this week and feel like it's mostly my own fault. Of course, now things are better on Streamate (or so I hear - I haven't been able to successfully get online since Sunday, though I tried last night) and one of my regulars bought me a body safe 100% silicone dildo that I really wanted, which meant I was able to dispose of the awful crystal jelly. So of course, I want to get on cam and make up for lost time, but this morning I woke up and my kidneys were really hurting. I'd been trying to take care of my UTI with cranberry juice and lots of water and home remedies, but I knew I had to go to a doctor. So I checked my health insurance (which was through a university I've since dropped out of) - it expired five days ago. And because of my camming income which puts me just barely above the poverty line, the local sliding scale clinic won't accept me at a discount.
Long story short, I just got back from the emergency room (simply to get antibiotics before my kidney infection spread) and I'm going to be looking at a gigantic bill in my mailbox soon due to being uninsured (I have an appointment Friday to discuss insurance options moving forward, but it won't apply to this), and of course, on top of that, I'm not allowed to have sex or put anything inside myself for five days. No camming.
Thankfully my ELM has been picking up and I have a couple escrows for videos that'll pull between $10-15 each, and I put a couple clips up on ELM/MV today but that's nothing compared to the $100+ I could make in 2-3 hours on Streamate. And of course I forgot to mark myself as unavailable on NiteFlirt and got my first call WHILE SITTING IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM, so I couldn't take it (messaged the guy an apology + 3 free mins and an invitation to try again another time.)
Basically I'm just stressed right now and scared because I lost my new model status on SM within the last week, and I'm worried that taking 7 or 8 days off in a row will really hurt my traffic. I have all five stars and am in over 800 favorites lists and generally do pretty well, but will that still be true after all this? Anxiety kicking in real hard. I just want to be back on cam.
You're in the right place, bb! <3
http://media.giphy.com/media/wsSssszJkPBYs/giphy.gif
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1 Attachment(s)
Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justanothercamgirl
Thank you JAC! And Effy! You guys are the best. Tried to get on cam tonight and the glitches basically booted me off pretty quickly, plus my kidneys are hurting so much even with the antibiotics, but you guys made me feel a lot better and the support helps. Hope to be back in the game soon and trying to do what I can with ELM/ManyVids/Niteflirt in the meantime. And for the record, the guy from NF called back and I managed to make a bit from my first phone call so it's something!!
Attachment 42367
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
I'm on cam now. Been on for about 20 minutes. Still nervous as hell D;
My shoulders are taking a toll on me from all the stress i'm under.
I don't think I can actually take this anymore.
I'm starting to literally feel sick.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sexkitten_666
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sexkitten_666
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.
SM's issues were a huge cause of my anxiety as well.
Today I realized I need to just get over it until the fix the issues and put this egg in another basket, I guess.
SM used to be a big money maker for me, but I just can't...
When I hear about 1st page girls making less than what I used to make in an hour being on like page 3, I started freaking out even more.
So I tried getting on CB and was actually able to get on. Still some anxiety though.
Don't cut, please ;<
If you have any other sites, try to make those your focus and build your fanbase up there until the day SM might fix their issues.
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sexkitten_666
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.
I realize I have no idea who you are, never seen you on cam before...but lord...you resemble my oldest child (looked at your profile link). I just wanna hug you and tell you that you are FAR too beautiful for that little one. Pray on it, pray to something, somebody, ANYBODY...just dont harm your gorgeous self...those men are crazy for not spoiling you to DEATH!!
HUGS HONEY HUGS!!
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sonikku
I'm on cam now. Been on for about 20 minutes. Still nervous as hell D;
My shoulders are taking a toll on me from all the stress i'm under.
I don't think I can actually take this anymore.
I'm starting to literally feel sick.
http://media.giphy.com/media/pzlnnjsMrBhzW/giphy.gif
If I haven't been camming for a while then I always have to make sure I eat a very light meal beforehand and pad in extra time for having the dry heaves.
It is okay to literally feel sick.....in fact it is even to be expected. It is just part of 'fight or flight' physical symptoms that come with anxiety. If you accept the fact that it is going to happen then you can make a 'worse case scenario plan' for it too.
Think about it as if you had to get on cam even though you had the flu. You just try to treat the symptoms the best that you can but you won't stop yourself from having they flu. You are suck with the flu until it decides it is ready to leave. You don't emotionally beat yourself up when you get the flu, I hope. :)
Panic attacks are the same kind of thing. You are having to cam through very uncomfortable mental and physical symptoms.
I hope that made sense....It is 3 am and I have insomnia again. :/
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sexkitten_666
Streamate has triggered me to self harm again :/ I stopped for almost 7 years. but relapsed about a week ago and started cutting again :(. These glitches and dip in traffic have caused the worst anxiety in me. I've finally gotten my own place, and I could lose it if SM keeps fucking up like this. I don't want to be like this again...I really don't :/.
Only having one egg in you basket to survive on when you work commission for a living is anxiety provoking for anyone. I know it is hard to do but you have to start branching out and cultivating other eggs in order to have other streams of revenue since all sites will wax and wane income wise.
Hang in there, love. It is just a set-back. You'll get through this. We are here to support you while you do it. <3
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justanothercamgirl
http://media.giphy.com/media/pzlnnjsMrBhzW/giphy.gif
If I haven't been camming for a while then I always have to make sure I eat a very light meal beforehand and pad in extra time for having the dry heaves.
It is okay to literally feel sick.....in fact it is even to be expected. It is just part of 'fight or flight' physical symptoms that come with anxiety. If you accept the fact that it is going to happen then you can make a 'worse case scenario plan' for it too.
Think about it as if you had to get on cam even though you had the flu. You just try to treat the symptoms the best that you can but you won't stop yourself from having they flu. You are suck with the flu until it decides it is ready to leave. You don't emotionally beat yourself up when you get the flu, I hope. :)
Panic attacks are the same kind of thing. You are having to cam through very uncomfortable mental and physical symptoms.
I hope that made sense....It is 3 am and I have insomnia again. :/
Haha you're fine.
I guess it wasn't helping that I was trying to fast...
Another terrible habit I need to break.
I ended up eating some banana chips... then later on 5 slices of pizza (don't worry; I just went grocery shopping before I got the pizza, but I was too weak to cook. x_x)!!! D;
I need to make an effort to eat something light before I get on cam and try to eat first thing in the morning.
My initial response when I wake up in the morning is to not eat... the whole day.
I think you were right. I was feeling even worse because I didn't eat anything before I hopped on.
Was running on coffee, basically (so good for anxiety, amirite?).
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
justanothercamgirl
Only having one egg in you basket to survive on when you work commission for a living is anxiety provoking for anyone. I know it is hard to do but you have to start branching out and cultivating other eggs in order to have other streams of revenue since all sites will wax and wane income wise.
Hang in there, love. It is just a set-back. You'll get through this. We are here to support you while you do it. <3
Thank you ladies for the encouraging words. I really appreciate and needed that! I have my eggs in a few baskets, but they've all been slow for me, and SM has been the one site I knew I could work and make at least something on. I hope things improve soon. I was finally starting to achieve a lot on SM. I hope things improve for you guys too, and I hope this hasn't caused any of you beautiful ladies to struggle. God, a nice fall or winter weekend of $50+ an hour and steady traffic sounds so amazing right now, compared to this glitchy dead summer!! Lol
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sweetgapeach
I realize I have no idea who you are, never seen you on cam before...but lord...you resemble my oldest child (looked at your profile link). I just wanna hug you and tell you that you are FAR too beautiful for that little one. Pray on it, pray to something, somebody, ANYBODY...just dont harm your gorgeous self...those men are crazy for not spoiling you to DEATH!!
HUGS HONEY HUGS!!
Thank you SO much for the kind words. I'll overcome it once these SM problems go away, I'm just a work a holic.
Lots of hugs to you too!!
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sonikku
SM's issues were a huge cause of my anxiety as well.
Today I realized I need to just get over it until the fix the issues and put this egg in another basket, I guess.
SM used to be a big money maker for me, but I just can't...
When I hear about 1st page girls making less than what I used to make in an hour being on like page 3, I started freaking out even more.
So I tried getting on CB and was actually able to get on. Still some anxiety though.
Don't cut, please ;<
If you have any other sites, try to make those your focus and build your fanbase up there until the day SM might fix their issues.
You're so right!! How has CB been for you? I try to do mfc when sm is bad, but I only make like ten bucks and my cam score always dips. I prefer a pay per minute because I'm bad with hosting lots of people. I get man fright!! Lol
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Re: The 'Sick Girls' Camming Club
^^sorry...just you worried me. I was sitting here stressing the fudge out about bills, bills, bills (sm girl too) and I saw your post...made me feel bad for thinking of my problems when i see its affecting most of us in one way or the other. Hang in there girly...