Saw this today and thought of you, hope you are feeling better.
https://youtu.be/5d5l-VcTnI0
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Saw this today and thought of you, hope you are feeling better.
https://youtu.be/5d5l-VcTnI0
^^Yesssss! I'm gonna grab life by the balls! I can do this. Thanks!
I got an internal stye on my lower eyelid and it's swollen and hurts like hell! :(
i already had a video chat with my doctor, she gave me antibiotics
i might rest for today but tomorrow i'm gonna cam without showing my face for the 1st time ever lol
Thank you girls big hugs!
It's so painful lol i never had one of this things ever, it's a bit less swollen today but still super red and hurts and burns.
Stared at the mirror yesterday and just had a laugh because i really look funny with a tiny eye and huge eyelids.
I think it was an old mascara i was using :( I'm gonna renew all my eye liners and eye related makeup, already desinfected everything, i allways do but this time got rid of old makeup and gave it a deep cleanse.
Have had a migraine since working four hours straight Monday night. I just cant sit on my bed for that long. Sigh. I tried to sign on to SM again last night and lasted an hour. Woke up, thought okay the migraine seems gone.... two hours later I'm dying again. I'm still forcing myself to do Indy but its been slow so need to get on SM.
So today I came to a decision. I'm going to work four days a week on SM, during the day, in the living room. But not on the main couch I tried to work on at the start of all this and failed. I moved my love seat over up against the sliders. I can keep them closed behind me but open them on either side of me to let natural light in. I can sit back, lay down, stuff a pillow behind me, etc. I see girls making money literally on their floor sooooooooooo........
Then when I do just Indy in the evenings, I'll move the computer to the bedroom. Will be easier to move that then the lighting all around. Plus I have an Ethernet cable in both rooms so not worried about internet. Time to focus on my health and sanity over money..... money will follow. I need to be comfortable.
It still frustrates me after all this time how delicate our bodies have become thanks to Fibro and Lupus. How even a shower can lay us up for an entire day. I used to be so active and had so many hopes and dreams and now its just like I want to be able to walk or even simply stand up with no issues.... blah.
^^I have no idea what that's like, but it sounds terrible. You're such a trooper. And you're so right...health first, then money. Plus the healthier you are the more you'll make.
Sounds like you have a good game plan. I stream on my bed. I keep my living room bare for yoga so I don't have a couch and I'm at the mercy of my bed which, after 6 hrs, completely kills my back. Being on the couch sounds so much more ergonomically correct.
*hugs* Thank you. I try not to let things get to me but like yesterday I ran across an ad for a farm job. Free housing with salary. That was like my dream job since I could never afford my own facility. But I can barely clean my two stalls, three times a week. How could I do an entire facility with all the extra work on top of that six days a week? I'd die. I cant even help the barn owners out like I used to when they go away to shows. So here I sit trying to make it as a cam girl. Hoping to get a work at home subscription business venture going but has been in my head for a year because when I do have the time...... I'm to exhausted and dead to even want to work on it. I miss the old me so much.
^^I can relate to missing the old you. I had more energy & was excited about my future 6 years ago. I had a dream & passion that has almost died out.
It's hard to be ok with functioning differently when who you were is so fresh in your mind. It just fuckin stinks & feels so unfair :(
It'll get better. I hope in 8 months from now you get a wild hair & look back on some of these posts & think "fuck, I'm a goddamn beast for surviving that shit & I've improved!"
been dealing with light sensitivity so i'm going to try out blue light glasses and see if they help.
Twinsies.
I woke up with a migraine Wednesday. It was no surprise, because I had just attended a grief group the night before.
Even prescription ibuprofen and strong coffee didn't help.
I woke up with it yesterday too.
Both days I cammed, because this is a short week, and I have bills to pay next week.
It's hard to get comfortable with a migraine.
Can't sleep, can't have loud noises or bright lights.
I'm proud of myself for pushing through.
Remember everyone, hang on. Technology is advancing at an unprecedented rate. If you can just make it to a place in the future where medical advances have finally reached an almost limitless pace of advancement (Singularity), or at least a little longer, you're be very likely to reverse all your symptoms.
There's already very promising work on fibromyalgia and they've only validated as a real disorder less than 20 years ago. (Now everything moves much faster.)
https://bmcneurol.biomedcentral.com/...883-018-1190-5
http://nationalpainreport.com/findin...n-8829289.html
They're looking at genetic therapies for lupus too (new theory states it's related to dormant Epstein-Barr).
Hang on, hang on, hang on!!! God knows what the tech can do in 10 or 20 years. Cosmetic improvements and reverse aging as well. Let's just hope that capitalism doesn't decay/strengthen to the point that we won't have enough doctors to administer treatments though :/
Having a healing, flaking new tattoo and skin picking disorder is a bad mix - I’ve really attacked my face to stop myself picking the tattoo :(
I just took a month off and literally JUST finished totally redesigned my apartment. My boyfriend moved furniture out of storage into th apartment, I cleaned the apartment and put up decor, reorganized storage boxes, set up new lighting, went through old paperwork, got rid of a lot of old junk, added a bathroom rack, took my loans out of default, went thru finances and took out new credit cards, quit smoking, redesigned my bedroom/studio layout. I even got lucky with a BUNCH of new clothing and really nice dresses a friend was getting rid of. I got rid of my mattress and just have the two pull out couches now for sleeping. Super comfy couch to sit on all day and sleep on, my back has been feeling MUCH better lately. Now more crouching on the mattress and moving into the lighting and keyboard back and forth. I feel sort of ....clean? comfortable? shiny new? :D
panic attack because i had to film a clip. i know i need to do it more and i'll relax a bit but damn; definitely didn't need that before shooting.
Just a follow up on the glasses: They work!!!! I've only had one headache day in the past 10 days which is a miracle!
Bf keeps blaming my headaches on this theory that i need glasses. The more he mentions it the more I second guess myself and wonder if he might be right. I haven't had an eye exam since....shit, who knows....elementary? Light hurts my eyes after a while, but i never thought about it with any real contemplation. My phone screen and computer screen are always on the lowest brightness possible. I keep the shades drawn at home to the point where people have commented on how sleepy my apt makes them; two people have fallen asleep during a visit. It's always been like that though so it's not like i woke up one day and my eyes started hurting. I just don't like bright stuff.
But the headaches are getting out of hand. My mom and one of my sisters wears glasses. I think it's time for an eye exam. Because right now being sick with a cold AND getting random headaches every time i try to log into SM has me feeling like I'm being railed from all sides.
^^I too need an eye exam as it's been 3 years and my prescription isn't nearly strong enough for me to see road signs. I'm nearsighted. He could be right. How soon can you get in to see someone?
Sending healing energy fast.
He's threatening to take me to an eye doc today. And thank you Sha. My vision is fine, I think. Only recently has it been a pill to read certain text from a distance (think reading terms of service on a tv screen while sitting on the couch). I imagine that being a little rough for anyone. But I actually want to go and see what the eye doc says.
The irony is that i wear fake glasses on cam everyday, just frames with clear lenses. Imagine actually needing a prescription smh.