I'm going to apologize in advance for how long this post is...
KatM, you aren't alone in this struggle & I can relate in many senses. When people say "oh but you're so young"...
https://66.media.tumblr.com/5ccec825...v3ypn_400.gifv
i had to teach myself (and still have to remind myself occasionally) that other people's opinions mean very very little when they can't live in your human suit for a day. Invisible illnesses and chronic pain are hard enough to deal with on their own without the judgement of others and most of the time it's nievity and sheer thoughtlessness on their part, not so much malintent. they simply do not realize that their offhanded remark cuts so freaking deep when your body is betraying you. Oh and something I do if the person is actually being rude/trying to make you feel badly on purpose is either immediately walk away without another word or, if you're feeling up to it, make them extremely uncomfortable by simply telling them the truth. Usually they aren't expecting you to put on a big smile, make eye contact, and cheerfully say something like "Yeah I'm young, but 3 days last week i was bedridden and threw up multiple times because i was in so much pain! Doctors don't usually believe me or have no idea what's actually wrong with me so i'm consistently under medicated, retested for stuff i clearly don't have, and I have doors slammed in my face because of it. A few nights per week I even wake my partner and myself up at night because the pain is so excruciating that I start screaming in my sleep. being young is so much fun!" the look of horror, confusion, discomfort, and genuine speachlessness on their faces is a great convo ender and a perfect point to walk off. surprisingly I've found that if it's someone I have to talk to again (like a family member), without fail they either apologize or never bring it up again. People who are rude on purpose never expect the already hurting person that they've gone out of their way to kick while down to stand up for themself. Either way I figure they have done some reflection on the convo and will probably think twice before treating you or another chronically ill/hurt person the same way.
Sometimes camming is extremely depressing, especially if you're a competitive person on the inside. I like to tease that I'm a workaholic stuck in a chronically ill body... but it's the truth! I desperately wish I could have 20% more consistently good days so I could get done 100% more. for a long time it felt like I was stuck in a hole of despair that I didn't dig & had no way out of. It fucking sucks knowing that you're probably not going to get a contest bonus or an hours worked bonus because 20+ hours on cam in under a week feels like being asked to climb a mountain without enough gear. The hopelessness was all consuming at times. It takes a very strong person to be chronically ill and/or in pain. But the combo of being a competitive person and ill does make you extremely resilient!
I'll sound like a broken record, but diversifying is key. Relying on one or two sources of income when you regularly have days where you really can't work just isn't an option because realistically we can't work 10 hour days, 5-7 days per week. It's REALLY hard not to compare yourself to someone who can do those things and is a top model on your site and makes their living off one or two sites.
The first year I was really ill, I beat myself up constantly over this & ended up just making myself sicker & taking a huge financial hit because I was desperately trying to make it work that way. The next year I started diversifying like a mad woman because the bills were stacking up and I could not stay in the hole any longer. I signed up for like 3 texting sites, because if I couldn't get out of bed, at the very least I knew I could text and send sexy pics that i'd taken days or weeks ago when I did have energy. I signed up for a bunch of indie sites that I could use at the same time and got a tablet to run skype/discord on because on the days i had energy but couldn't comfortably sit/stand in one place for an extended period of time, I would then have the freedom to be anywhere in my house semi-comfortably until someone actually wanted a show & would then just have to be in my office until the show ends (then it's back to w/e the most comfortable spot in my house is lol). I started not posting a schedule because I knew deep down that there was no way i could actually commit to it and instead worked whenever I could... as a result, I build up at least a few regulars at different times throughout the day. I got on a load of clip/content sites and started making more fetish videos and photo sets of things I had to do anyways or were easier on my condition or simple to edit... because while naked dishwashing or vacuuming or putting on my makeup or dying my hair or drinking a soda or burping or trying on clothes or literally flipping off the camera and ignoring it for 10 minutes probably isn't going to pay all my bills on it's own, I know that even if each video sells a few times on this site and that I'm still making SOME money and potentially have the ability to make a few bucks even on days where i'm stuck in bed with the curtains closed not doing a damn thing except taking care of myself. On days that my legs hurt or can only commit to lower energy activities (like watching tv in bed) I get on a few phone sex sites, then edit & queue content between calls. I started pushing custom clips and gave myself a longer time frame to complete them. on live stream sites, I run multiple whenever I could. Hell, I even sold clean outfits from photo sets/clips and autographed pictures at a profit. Most importantly, when I had a really bad day or string of days where I could not work at all, I straight up didn't and focused on myself/feeling better. Is juggling so many things a pain in the ass? absolutely. Am I ever going to be top cam model on a single site? Probably not. Does it make taxes way more difficult? yep. Did I make money on every site I tried out? nope. But at the end of that year my earnings were substantially higher than any year i'd ever had sick or well and continue to only increase. I'm still learning, trying out new sites and am far from perfect... but now i have so many more avenues of revenue that I do not have to worry as much financially or drag myself on cam if i can't.
Idk if this has helped anyone & if it hasn't, I'm really sorry for the novel... but I want people to know that even if you have limitations due to your health, you can still be very successful in your own way.