how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
This has happened to me a couple of times. The first time, I liked the customer (i sell panties) enough and I met him for coffee - but I think I created expectations that I would meet with him if he asked me out. He recently wanted to know if I would accompany him to a photography show. Another customer, emailed me wanting to hang out.
So far, I've ignored the emails. But is there a better way to handle this? Something a little more politic?
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
don't hang out with customers for free. once you do, they aren't going to pay. and be safe and very careful!!
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Be honest. Time is money. They want you to take time away from work then you expect to be paid.
Also be clear, that while coffee was fun. That you didn't expect them to want more of your time. Nor did you expect it to turn into a dating situation.
Sam
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Unless you really want to date them and not collect money from them, you never see them unless they are paying because clients pay for time/sex , boyfriends usually do not .
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Well, all men would prefer to hang out with you for free, because (a) they get all or some of the benefits they were paying for without the negative of paying for it and (b) they think the privilege means that they've transcended that customer/friend barrier.
You'll have to decide what you want. If they're no more than customers to you, let them know that your time is valuable and you have to make a living. If they're that weird customer/friend hybrid that you enjoy hanging out with, but don't want to give up the bank that goes along with them, then give them a few freebies with the understanding that it's at your discretion. If you like them enough, you're going to have to make a choice: sever the customer side of things and meet their expectations, or cut them off and lay down the law. Otherwise you're just fucking with them.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
This is such a pain in the ass to me...it seems that a pretty significant amount of my clients do this to me as well Bc "we had such a good time" or something along those lines. It happens so much that I feel the need to tell my regulars my rates again before I go see them every time. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of fun with these guys, but it is not difficult for me to turn down a freebie, Not at all! I've found that there really is no way around it except to just firmly(and nicely) tell them that you don't want to mix business with pleasure. Tell them that if you did that, then you wouldn't have any customers left! :)
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Yeah, I think I may just take the route where I'm nice but firm. I guess I fear losing their business, but this is very much a business for me - you pay me and I provide a service. I guess I'll just have to say it with a smile and hope for the best!
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Are you stripping or escorting?
For stripping I just never see anyone OTC. I know girls that do it but I think it just makes things too complicated. When customers try to see me OTC I just act like I'm the busiest person in the world and my manager at the club is Hitler's long-lost son and would never ever let me miss work. And I maybe throw something in there about "why would you want to go for coffee when you can have my naked in your lap at the club?" But unfortunately sooner or later every regular gets sick of being a regular and won't let up on demanding on OTC and you either have to drop them or give in. And some guys are, unfortunately, just not cut out for sex work customers. I've had lots of really great, high-spenders who I gave my # to only to find out I just couldn't make them into customers. Most of these guys were just spending money in the hopes that it would entice me to see them OTC or it was them coming to the club was a one-time thing (result of a very crazy night or a really shitty day).
I've never escorted but I can imagine you could do the same sort of thing. And I think definitely, once you give someone a freebie you've kind of fucked yourself over because they'll never let it go and assume that since you did it once they can get you to do it again. I've occasionally spoken to my customers on the phone for maybe 20 minutes, but that's it.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
I did it once like three years ago. Not good!!!
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Make it known that you're time isn't free, I've found that most of these guys are not genuine and are trying to get whatever free perks that can and eventually they won't be your client anymore they'll be giving their money to someone else instead of you.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Yeah that's exactly what happened with one guy... I sent him pics of my new panties, he said he was good and didn't need any panties at the moment but wanted to know if I wanted to grab coffee. I just ignored his email - and was going to email him later to say oh school's been busy blah blah. a couple of days later, he answered one of my other ads looking for panties! I let him know it was me, and I haven't heard from it since. Totally pissed off!
Audrey: I sell dirty panties.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
I don't deal with it. I just quote them my rates for whatever they're suggesting and if they're rude enough to ask for it for free I ignore them. As far as I'm concerned, it's extremely rude and disrespectful for them to ask me to waive my fee for them. We aren't friends.
It would be like me going to see a personal trainer or accountant and saying, "Oh, by the way, could you do your job for free because I really like you?" It's ridiculous.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
"I appreciate your offer. However, I have made it a rule not to see customers socially. Thanks for understanding." It's a slightly modified version of what I use ITC when customers insist that I go out with them. I do get pushback, but I stick to it and they eventually get it.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Ask them to go shopping with you or buy some gift,
"If you'd buy me that lovely dress I recently saw at ###?"
He will probably asks for the price and you should find something that he can afford.
He will either do it and you get something out of it (you can give the dress back later and get your cash) or he will get your message.
Always ask for something in return with a very sweet voice. They will get fed up and realize you are not naive or for free.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
Ask them to go shopping with you or buy some gift,
"If you'd buy me that lovely dress I recently saw at ###?"
He will probably asks for the price and you should find something that he can afford.
He will either do it and you get something out of it (you can give the dress back later and get your cash) or he will get your message.
Always ask for something in return with a very sweet voice. They will get fed up and realize you are not naive or for free.
Re: how do you deal w men wanting to hang out for free?
It's easy for me to make them realize it's not happening when they get really pushy. I don't go out, like ever. I've gone out twice this year including New Years. So I tell them that, I have a boyfriend, a daughter, and I go to school. No time for OTC. If they want to spend quality time alone with me they need to take me upstairs