Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I suppose the title's a bit vague, so I'll have to do a good job of explaining myself. Also, this might be a sensitive topic for some, but I've never before seen a similar thread in here and it's something I really feel I need to hear opinions and experiences related-to.
So, I'll start off by saying that my eating's been very unhealthy and irregular for years now. I've lost about 17 kilograms in a period of 3-4 years (prior to that I've been quite overweight. I'm now at a normal weight). Ever since, my eating habits are absolutely terrible and I feel like camming, with all of its advantages (and it DOES mostly have advantages and I love this job), surly doesn't help when it comes to my eating habits.
I'll explain; before going on cam (which is usually around 11:00-12:00 at noon) I'd only eat something very small, because I don't want my stomach to get bloated. Then I'd usually cam for about 4-5 hours on average. Then I'd be starving and only eat tons of chocolate or chips, but still not too much, because I'd feel anxious that I'd gain those 17 kilos again and nobody want to see my on cam ever again, that I'd lose my "power" (it's a vicious cycle of thought). I then pretty much finish eating for the day.
Then on days where I don't cam at all (I currently cam only 3 or 4 days a week because I hate camming when I'm not alone in the house), I suddenly binge-eat. Again, it's almost always really unhealthy junk, just suddenly a lot of it. I then horribly regret it and again have thoughts running through my head such as "I'm going to gain weight and not be able to cam again" all day. Again, it's a viscous cycle.
Does anybody in here have even a slight clue of what I'm talking about, or does it sound completely alien? I know these habits mostly don't even have to do with camming, but I'm saying that camming makes it so much worse because the fact that I know I'm dependent on my looks for my money, makes me a 100 times more stressed.
I'd really like to stop it and at least eat healthy and feel like I deserve it, too... :(
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I find that this is the case with working in general, unless you work a corporate job where you can afford to eat anywhere on your lunch break. Most people who work vanilla jobs eat shitty stuff for meals too, unless they specifically take time to prepare it.
You can do that too. Set some time out of your day 2 days/week to make a bunch of meals for you to last through the week! Fried rice, pastas, soups, casseroles- you can make these in large batches, reheat and go! There are plenty of foods that are healthy and fast- fruits, vegetable, yogurts and cheeses, sandwiches, and ready-to-eat soup come to mind. In the morning try snacking on some tasty fruit, yogurt, coffee and tea or toast. These tend to keep me sated til I'm ready for a real meal. Don't buy a lot of junk food- spend it instead on healthy read-to-eat foods. They definitely exist.
I've been preparing food for my household for over 10 years. When my mother started her career when I was 12, I became the sole cook. I've been doing this for a *very* long time- you don't have to gobble down unsatisfying gross junk food to eat fast!
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I know what you say, and according to Chinese medicine, when you worry a lot, it attacks your stomach and spleen and you crave sweets like mad. It also lowers blood sugar, according to western medicine, and again...the thing is that you crave bad things.
I know i had days when i was eating good food all day long, but at 11 in the night just went and got tons of chocolate and such, because i was mad with hunger.
Meditation helps a lot, maybe you could try that. It helps you to no longer worry so much, and then things get better :)
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
Heyy <3 I have EDNOS with both anorexic and bulimic tendencies. Though I've had this since I was around 7, camming really hasn't done much to help.
Associating eating and weight with power is a bit of a red flag as far as disordered eating goes. Feel free to message me for support. I can sort of tell you what has helped me.
I'm currently going through recovery and trying to teach myself not to be terrified of food. :x It's not easy, but I feel like if you take a look at your behavior now and try to stop it, you'll be happy you did <3
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I think any appearance-focused industry can worsen or trigger an ED, definitely. Not just camming but acting, dancing, modelling, etc. Get outside help if you can.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I find the opposite. I'm home so i can get healthy food instead of picking up junk on a hurried lunch break. I've been eating as much raw fruit and veggies as I can hold and it's made a HUGE difference.
Hope you can get some healthier habits going.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
i've always had that problem with any job. i got to like 100 pounds when i was an LNA, and the days that i work i have breakfast, and a tiny snack and that's it. that's why i can't work as often anymore, its very bad for my health.
you REALLY need to start getting proactive about eating healthy foods throughout the day though..my body almost shut down, i got faint, and i started looking like DEATH. pre make your food if you want. make an eating plan, and have that food readily available. i used to have a sugar addiction, so i cut out processed sugars and i don't crave them as much anymore
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I don't cam, I'm a stripper, but I'm exactly the same way. I've struggled with an ED for most of my life and stripping definitely doesn't help. I had to audition at a new club today so not only did I eat absolutely nothing all day and down a bunch of detox tea, but I didn't eat dinner last night either... I was so absolutely starving by the time I got home I felt like I was going to fall over. And that's not very irregular for me either. I always do that when I audition so my stomach is flat, but my eating habits are all fucked up from dancing. I try not eat at all during the day, drink when I'm at work, and then eat a giant meal when I get home. Sometimes I'll bring stuff with me to work, but most places don't have anywhere for me to store food, so it ends up being just a bunch of carb-crap and I won't eat it unless I get drunk. And then on my days off I do end up binge eating.
I just freak out about my appearance, I mean our income is based on it.... and I don't have big boobs, my ass isn't giant, so I feel like I really have to be skinny to have any appeal body-wise to customers. I'm not one of those girls who gains weight and it all goes to their ass or their boobs, nor am I one of those girls with big butts/boobs who can pull off a sexy, curvy look. I also really struggle with using laxatives, diuretics, and diet pills with dancing and I know all three are TERRIBLE for you and fuck up your body but... it's hard to be in a fucking bikini in front of hundreds of people all night, having them look you up and down, comparing you to other girls, and not be fixated on your body, especially a flat tummy. And I always have customers commenting on me being thin, and especially touching my stomach... the most common compliment I get is 'your so thin what do you do to work out?' I don't get many other compliments about my appearance. I mean I had one guy tell me his friend wanted a dance from me just because I had a "flat lipo stomach" (I've never had lip tho) and when I was bloated one night from my period I had a customer tell me I had a "pudge" when I leaned over and should do more sit-ups. I make so much more $ being skinny, in LA there was one girl who was about the same size as me, and whenever customers came in and said they wanted a "thin" girl the bounces would always brings one of us over... I made tons of money that way! I feel like if I was to relax about good my income would drop. But it really stresses me out, having to obsess about calories and carbs and whatnot all the time, and it can be distracting if I'm starving at work.
The only good thing dancing has done for me body-wise is that I know if I were to become scary-skinny, like under 100lbs, then my income would absolutely plummet, so there's no way I will ever go there.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
Yes. My mom had an ED and instilled a lot of weird unhealthy body images into my head, so camming can be triggering at times. It doesn't bother me if someone calls me fat because they're usually just trolls but just seeing myself .. I notice everything.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
Me too. I keep a lot of fruit around and healthy snacks and just grab them when I need to eat. I had worse habits at a vanilla job because I had 45 minutes and all that was around was fast food.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
laurielegs
I find the opposite. I'm home so i can get healthy food instead of picking up junk on a hurried lunch break. I've been eating as much raw fruit and veggies as I can hold and it's made a HUGE difference.
Hope you can get some healthier habits going.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I have short term memory loss because of anxiety and BPD, so I forget to eat at times. I forget to do basic things. Luckily my husband feeds me.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
Nina, I have basically "rumination" disorder. Or, what was formerly called EDNOS. Camming surprisingly doesn't make it worse than before, but it certainly makes it easy to restrict a TON. Let me know if you want someone to talk to about this stuff. Been a "disordered eater" for six years now, and have been gaining and losing the same 40 pounds over and over again. It blows.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
I'm also an EDNOS patient. I am an extremely restrictive eater, but binge eating is what does me in for camming. If left to my own devices, I'll restrict for 4-6 weeks, do a 2 day binge, and then go back to restricting. during the 2 day binge and for about 4 days after, I cant work because my body is in shock. I used to bounce between 110lbs and 85lbs constantly.
Camming has helped in so many ways for me. It has been over a year since i've been hospitalized for anything weight related which is basically a miracle after a year of being hospitalized 6 times for it. I've noticed that my regs will say something if they can see my ribs too much. I Have found that the best way to try to maintain a level of normalcy is having a little bowl of trail mix by my work station. I don't let myself get off cam until it's all gone. That way if i'm having a slow day, I'll stay on longer and get some food in me. If i have a good day and stay on a while, I at least have eaten something. I also do smoothies so I have something to snack on during a 5 minute break.
Re: Eating disorders/disturbed eating due to camming lifestyle?
thanks to everyone for sharing on this thread, i see myself in so many of the things you are saying. much appreciated.