safety and escorting? general questions from a newbie
Hi ladies...
I've been dancing for a long time but have never tried escorting. However, stripping in London is not what it is in America and I've depleted my savings from the move, weeks of unpredictable work while looking for clubs, medical expenses, etc, etc, etc... the summer months are coming and I need something that will be more predictable so I can start building my savings up again (and know my bills will be paid) so I'm going to begin escorting on my days off from the club.
My questions are:
How do you protect your identity and how do you make sure you're safe with clients? It's very important to me that no one ever be able to locate me or someone I know come across me online, so I am using a fake name on my profile and not posting pictures where you can see my face or blurring my face out. Is there anything else I can do to help protect my identity?
How do I best screen? From what I gather escorting in London is not illegal, but I am not offering the widest variety of services-- no anal, no bareback, no bbbj, etc. I don't want to find myself in a position with a client who is pushing me to do something I'm uncomfortable with. This has happened often to me in a strip club, sometimes with a client I knew would be unruly and sometimes with a client who seemed perfectly normal, but I had bouncers there to protect me. I am concerned about running into a client like this-- what should I watch for when communicating with clients?
How can I protect myself when going to meet? I have flatmates at the moment so I can't do in-calls, only out-calls. I am nervous about the idea of going to someone's flat, but it seems that is the norm with most agencies, and obviously not every client is going to want to pay for a hotel room. I don't want to go to someone's flat and never come back :-[ I know that it would be good to have someone to call and let them know I've arrived or send a text and let the client know I've told them, what else can I do?
Am I better to start off with an agency or go it alone? I like the idea of being independent more, having a choice with my clients and not having to give up so much of my money (I make 200 pounds an hour doing air dances at the club so the idea of charging 150, which a lot o these agencies do, and then keeping 75 of that makes me sick) but from everything I've read here it seems like it takes a while to get established and reviews and whatnot.
Any advice would be much appreciated! xx
Re: safety and escorting? general questions from a newbie
1. As far as pictures go, I would recommend cutting off the top of your face entirely. Blurring software can be reworked to unblur a picture just as easily. Best to just not have your face in the picture.
Also, a word of warning - and this is rather embarrassing, but important.... Keep your escorting pictures and personal pictures COMPLETELY separate. A couple months ago, I did a new photoshoot for my site, and since I hadn't had any decently nice pictures for my facebook lately, I took one that I looked really good in and made it my profile picture. In the facebook version, I showed my face, and cut it off at the torso - on my website, I cut off most of my head and left a full body shot in. I was informed by an ex-boyfriend that when he accidentally clicked "search this image in google" instead of "open picture in a new tab," google had taken just the similar parts of my body - mainly my boobs and neck - and matched the two pictures, and my website popped up! I was mortified... Luckily, he doesn't really care and we talked about it, but good god - I can't imagine if someone else had been the person to accidentally do that... I knew better than to use the same exact image, but I didn't think that it would pick that small bit of body to make a match out of... Maybe I should have thought of that, but I didn't. :-[ Lesson learned.
2. Most clients I've met are not in the same class as SC customers. Most are far more respectful. If they push for anything you don't offer, just insist and say "Sorry, I'm not comfortable with that. I can do *blank* instead." Then just do your thing. I've had very few guys push beyond that, and if they do, just keep redirecting them. If they pass all your screening, chances are they aren't going to be rapists who turn into a major problem. I personally straight up ignore emails that bluntly ask me what's "on my menu" or for things that I don't offer. Whereas in a SC, you can get stuck with shitty customers cuz you had no previous knowledge of them, that's what the screening weeds out in escorting. It should be fine.
3. As far as protecting yourself, that's also where the screening comes in. Some girls hire drivers, and yes, some girls have someone they text or call their location to and estimated time of departure so they know where they are and what they're up to. Beyond that, basic self defense like pepper spray or leaning some self defense moves is about all you can do. If you screen properly, you shouldn't have problems. Sign up for sites like verifyhim.com and nationalblacklist.com to check guys out. Ask for references, and check them! I am flabbergasted at how many times I've gotten emails from girls asking for a reference for a guy who I've never seen! They seriously just pick a girl and think that we're not going to actually contact the girl if they seem legit...
Other than that, there is always going to be that level of risk... It really shouldn't be that big if you are smart, screen well, and trust your gut, but it will always be there. There's nothing you can do about it, and you'll always be nervous initially, but that's just one of the reasons the job pays as well as it does - because you are taking on that risk.
4. And lastly, I would recommend going it alone, but if you need money now, you might be better off starting with an agency since it can take awhile to build a steady stream of clients independently. You can always quit the agency and go off on your own once you're more established.
Good luck!
Re: safety and escorting? general questions from a newbie
I agree with everything Aurora said
Use good, reputable sites. I won't even touch anything like Backpage or Craigslist. Even though some girls say they make tons of money, there's just no good way to screen clients off there. SCREEN, SCREEN, SCREEN. Ask for at least 2 REPUTABLE references and make sure you email those references and google them. I've had guys give me fake references and when I asked the girls, they said they've never met him. I've had pimps email me using their girls emails, found by googling them and they were all connected or not enough info on the girls names. I google the client's number and email to see if I can get info as well. Sites that do the screening for you are VERY helpful, but still take precautions.
I use priceline express or the bidding to save A LOT of money on hotels if I have to do an incall. I usually am traveling and will have a few clients lined up to make it worth it. If you're in your town, and have only one client, hopefully your rate is high enough to get a cheap, decent hotel to make money. (Sometimes we really need the money.) Right now, my city doesn't really use sites, they frequent the strip clubs, so I have just 'outcall only' on my ad for $100 more.
Sometimes having a little higher rate can weed out the weirdos and creeps as you are a little out of their price range to even contact. Not all money is GOOD money. I will turn down a lot of money because I don't feel comfortable.
Re: safety and escorting? general questions from a newbie
Thank you for the advice ladies, very helpful!
The websites I've been using is adultwork where most girls post reviews on their clients. If someone doesn't have enough reviews or has one negative review I've not responded to their enquiry. Should I be screeningfurther than that? (obviously not responding to anyone who asks asks for services I don't offer or seems strange)
Re: safety and escorting? general questions from a newbie
Hi Audrey,
While I have no advice to offer, I too a dancer have decided to give escorting a go. I haven't started (I plan to tomorrow) and I'm terribly nervous. What helps with the anxiety is knowing I'm doing this for my children...I'm glad I'm not alone. I wish you all the luck you need. x
Sarah