Camming in tragic circumstances
Again, not an easy thread for me to start, but I'm obliged to.
I'm currently having a very hard time; my mother, who earns a little more than the minimum wage, has skin cancer and my father, who used to be the main provider by far, quit his job, left the house and disappeared, leaving us in a deep debt.
In between all of this pain and struggle and nights full of nightmares, it's important for me to continue camming. On most days, I'm doing an all right job of fake it 'til you make it, but sometimes I can't even think of hitting the "log in" button.
As all of you know, this isn't a regular job in almost every single way, but the most important thing is the fact you've got to keep a big smile on your face and be especially lively and sweet, unless you wanna lose costumers.
All I wanna know is how to get myself into the camming "mind-set" before I log in when dealing with what I deal with at the moment. How do I do the best job of leaving it all behind at least for a couple of hours?
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
It is hard. It is very hard. I cammed trough bad circumstances too. Don't know how i did it tough. This is life. I would tell you this:
-Talk with close friends about how you feel. It will help you a lot.
-Do something that makes you happy. Watch a really funny tv show/movie, go to the gym, cook. Whatever you know that it will make you feel better evan for a minute.
- Think about your mother. She needs you. Try to see camming as a big help for her. It will motivate you. I know it's hard but try. For ex: i gotta work so i will be able to give my mom a better care/treatment. This is the only thing that comes in my mind to help you log in everyday.
-I know the last thing you wanna do right now is smile. But you have to stay positive for your mother. Also for yorself. I know " The secret" seems crap to some but usually bad bad toughts attract bad bad things. Again i know that is super mega extra hard.
-And in the end if you don't wanna smile or so you can go into fetish as a solution. You can put all your bad feelings into punishing slaves. They want it. They will love it. The fact that you don't feel like smiling won't affect your earnings that much.
-And last but not least you have us here! We are here to support you. Talk with us whenever you feel like it. We all have passed trough bad things in life i think.
Aww & i will let the other girls come up with more advice.
Lots of hugsss ! You need them, i know.
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
pretty much my entire camming career of 12 yrs has been through one bad experience after another.. it's the hardest job on earth I have to say... to constantly have to suck it up and sometimes you just can't even! and you fall apart.. and on camera even...LOL.... it's really tough and I have no answer for you .. but to SMILE REALLY BIG and keep saying you are great like a robot.. Frankly, in this kinda of situation it's the only way.. and if you feel like you are going to crack?? log off and regain your composure. No one says you have to stay on for hours with a joker grin. It's hard but so is life.. and you need this!... sorry there is nothing else to say through this... other than This to shall pass... pull your bootstraps up and get on with it.. Life is always going to be like an internal war.. it just is... the more you smile and fake i find the easier it just is.. there is no issues with idiots cuz you smile the whole way through and then log off. Sometimes I wipe my brow and say WHEW! i made it through another day UNSCATHED .. I fought the cam and I WON!...LOL
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Natty has a lot of great advice there! Also, I'm so sorry to hear about the circumstances you are dealing with. I deal with terrible depression, and other family issues that strike my on a really deep level sometimes so I understand the struggle it is to hit "start show" somedays.
But, things that help me are -
-Working out!
-Happy music playlists!
-Reminding myself that the struggles I deal with are temporary, but the attitude and manner in which I react to them is permanent, I can either wallow in the sadness or make the best of it so that one day I can look back and be like, "Wow, I made it through THAT? With a smile? I'm so proud of myself."
-I count my blessings every day. Each day I wake up, I write a list of all the things I am grateful for.
-I remind myself that my customers look forward to seeing me smile, and by making them happy - I increase my residual earnings, if they know I'm "a ray of fucking sunshine," I know they will come back over and over again, for that smile.
And also, along with what Natty said, fetish is GREAT for those bad days. If you can get into it, it's a fabulous way to 1) Release pent up aggression and 2) Make good money. Fetish customers are willing to pay a lot, when they find you and decide that YOU are the only one that they want humiliated by, dominated by, instructed by - they will be very faithful to you. And not only is it good money, but it's really nice when you have a bad day to take it out on them.
I hope that you can overcome what you are going through and make the best of it! Tough times don't last, tough people do. *hugs*
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
June was really tought for me...I got sick, my parents have problem, i wish to help them atleast with money but i have problems with money too. I like to do something, not just stay in bed, talk all the about the problem and feel pity about myself. So i decide:
1)reduce a stress and stop pity myself.
2)walk twice a day, 2 miles.
3)eat healthy, lately i eat only raw food(veggies), no sugar, no coffeine.
4)meditate, helps to reduce a stress, calm down.
5) workk, work and again work.just do not take anything personal. See yourself as second person, smile, shine, make money.
For now i still do have some fin problems, but im more healthy, toned, my mind is very clear i can see how to fix my probs without depression.
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Sorry to hear that Nina, I definitely feel your pain. I'm currently going through a hard time which actually got me into camming. I can't get a regular job because of an accident, that's left me disabled and stranded in the boonies for the last few months. I've been falling in and out of a deep depression because of my circumstances and the results of it.
The thing that keeps me motivated the most is the fact that camming and the opportunity to make money is there! Without this I would have nothing. Even on a bad/slow day your still one step closer, no matter how small, to digging your way out of your situation. The more you can fight through it, and put in the time the sooner you can start seeing the rewards from the hard work.
Don't work your self too hard though, sometimes you do need a mental break, just don't let that mental break linger for too long or you end up unmotivated and giving room for depression to set in. Stay busy! Someone else mentioned comedy shows/movies and I second that! Get your laugh on girl! Exercise, go for a walk. If things get slow sign up for another site so you don't get too much stagnant time. Whatever you do don't stop and don't let you situation defeat you. Some of the most successful people on this planet got to that point by going through life-crushing "fuck my life" situations and you can too :-)
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
I feel you Nina. My family is in about the same boat. My step father who was married to my mother for 20 years (I saw this man as my dad) left my mother. It took my mother months before she revealed the true story on what happened. I'm not going to get in detail but it's fucked up and no one expected it.
It was really hard for me to cam, but honestly meditation helped. I'd clear my mind and work.
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Thank you all so, so much. I've no words to express how much I appreciate each and any of these messages. They DO make a difference in my thinking and in the way I feel.
Tonight I cannot cam regardless, because missiles are hitting my residential area was we speak (I really don't wanna get into political discussions, I'm just describing the honest reality of what's going on at the moment), but you all made me feel much more encouraged and positive of the fact that camming SHOULD be an empowering thing to do at such circumstances.
You're all brave, wonderful, beautiful human beings and I'm here for every one of you, too. Stay strong. :heartbeat
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audritwo
It was really hard for me to cam, but honestly meditation helped. I'd clear my mind and work.
Where/how does one begin with meditation?
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Nina, I'm so, so sorry you're dealing with all that appalling stuff.
Meditation is honestly the only thing that gets me out of bed some days. On Youtube, you can search for "guided meditation" or "guided mindfulness meditation", and go through recordings you like. Mindfulness meditation is something that helps anchor you to the sensations in your body, rather than endless sad thoughts.
Another thing that helps me is to have a couple of songs that just cheer me up, that I can't help but smile when I hear them. I've appointed those my make-up and set-up songs. That way, instead of "I've got to put on make-up, oh god, it'll take forever", I only need to think, "I just need to turn on my music" (which takes 5 seconds). When the music is on, I feel happier, and the set-up doesn't seem so tedious.
Good luck, honey.
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
So sorry you are going through all that and fucking missiles too! Just try one day at a time. One hour at a time. Cam til you make $20. Then maybe you push it to $50. Stop when you need to gain composure. Log off and cry. Try to think of yourself as your favorite actor. You have to just focus on the thing you are doing and push out the thoughts until you can think of them. I had my best friend commit suicide while I was working a regular job. I had to go to work. I didn't know what else to do. Best friends in the eyes of a corporation are not family. I knew she was dead and I couldn't change that. I needed to pay my bills.I cried before work, sometimes I'd have to excuse myself at work for a few minutes and after work I'd bawl my eyes out.
Laughter is the best therapy. So when fucko smartass comes in and says " Hey cunt fuck you ( or whatever) just laugh at him hysterically.
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Post your small and large goals beside or on monitor and a few positive sayings or photos - this one helps me sometimes - you can edit the time to what ever you need sometimes it is 30 minutes instead of 12 hours --- Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle my whole life problem
at once. I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime.
I'm so sorry you are going through this :(
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
We all have our burdens to bear. Work is one way to positively knock them out of the way. Instead of focusing on how bad it is, focus that you have a great job with unlimited earning potential. That when you cam, make clips & upload them onto all kinds of vod sites that your income can increase daily.
Not many people have those kinds of opportunities to make money daily, from home. But rather an hourly or salary job where increasing income is limited.
Complaining & dwelling on the bad stuff never gets you anywhere. Read "the Secret".
Put your nose to the grindstone & go for it everyday. This is what makes a person, over coming the bad times builds character & ability to survive no matter what is thrown at you.
I hardly ever bitch about needing money or what I have to deal with in life. Cause nobody really gives a shit, they have their own problems to deal with. So buck up & get to work.
Imagine what you can make if you cammed several sites, filmed & updated your clip stores by putting in 12 hour days.
Good luck,
Sam
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
i'm currently dealing with some family stuff, plus a break up, and some eating disorder issues. the best thing i can say is find a camgirl buddy, someone who will help push you to go on (you can PM me anytime <3)
i also talk myself up, i talk to myself about my persona the ENTIRE time i get ready.
it's cheesy as hell and i laugh at it now but it works when i have a bad day
missquirk doesn't have family problems or an eating disorder. she's confident and strong. she's my vacation from a life full of stress. she gets to sign on to a site, earn as much money as she wants, and sign off. she's bubbly and happy but still sexy and a bit mysterious when she wants to be. etc.
it sounds nuttso, i know. but it works for me. talk about your persona the way you would write a book, get in character while you put your makeup on. pretend that it's fun and casual and not something you HAVE to do but something you GET to do.
<3
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Always excellent advice Sam!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
We all have our burdens to bear. Work is one way to positively knock them out of the way. Instead of focusing on how bad it is, focus that you have a great job with unlimited earning potential. That when you cam, make clips & upload them onto all kinds of vod sites that your income can increase daily.
Not many people have those kinds of opportunities to make money daily, from home. But rather an hourly or salary job where increasing income is limited.
Complaining & dwelling on the bad stuff never gets you anywhere. Read "the Secret".
Put your nose to the grindstone & go for it everyday. This is what makes a person, over coming the bad times builds character & ability to survive no matter what is thrown at you.
I hardly ever bitch about needing money or what I have to deal with in life. Cause nobody really gives a shit, they have their own problems to deal with. So buck up & get to work.
Imagine what you can make if you cammed several sites, filmed & updated your clip stores by putting in 12 hour days.
Good luck,
Sam
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Nina_Den
Where/how does one begin with meditation?
I searched YouTube for any videos on meditation.
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
The best advice I can give is to find 'camming support'.
I am lucky to have a mind-blowingly amazingly supportive camgirls in my life that I chat with everyday while I am working. When I want to quit, my 'camgirl army' will give me pep talks to stop me from being my own worst enemy and they are there to help celebrate my successes.
(Shout Out to my verified chatzy sistas! I can't imagine a day without all of you in my lives. *mwah!*)
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
You have no idea how much you inspire me!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
We all have our burdens to bear. Work is one way to positively knock them out of the way. Instead of focusing on how bad it is, focus that you have a great job with unlimited earning potential. That when you cam, make clips & upload them onto all kinds of vod sites that your income can increase daily.
Not many people have those kinds of opportunities to make money daily, from home. But rather an hourly or salary job where increasing income is limited.
Complaining & dwelling on the bad stuff never gets you anywhere. Read "the Secret".
Put your nose to the grindstone & go for it everyday. This is what makes a person, over coming the bad times builds character & ability to survive no matter what is thrown at you.
I hardly ever bitch about needing money or what I have to deal with in life. Cause nobody really gives a shit, they have their own problems to deal with. So buck up & get to work.
Imagine what you can make if you cammed several sites, filmed & updated your clip stores by putting in 12 hour days.
Good luck,
Sam
Re: Camming in tragic circumstances
I forgot to add.....on the REALLY hard days I listen to this song over and over again on repeat until I can work up the will to get on my cam. Hopefully it will be helpful to you too. <3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHLyPdt-Fi4